Alright! We open with my favorite whipping boy, “WHITE BREAD” BRYAN DANIELSON! He cuts a monotone promo about some matches he’s wrestled over the course of the past several years - and says that he gets a chance to wrestle Jushin Liger tonight. Liger’s apparently the only Junior Heavyweight he’s never beaten. Danielson lies about being the greatest wrestler in the world, but I’ll let it slide...for now.
We take things to the LIVE arena in Revere, Massachusetts on 11.05.2004! We’ve already got our first entrants on the way to the ring, and NO idea who’s announcing yet.
JIMMY RAVE (with Prince Nana, The Outcast Killaz, and Some Girl) vs. ACE STEEL
Nana goes for the cheap heat, stating Boston’s the worlds biggest fish market and the whole city stinks. The Killaz give Rave an entrance by spraying the stink out of the air with Lysol, before Nana forces Rave’s nameless valet to get down on all fours allowing Rave to use her as a stepstool into the ring. JIMMY BOWER (aka Chris Lovey, aka Gabe Sapolsky) finally welcomes us to the show, accompanied by CM PUNK as usual. Rave is hit with a springboard double sledge, and rolls to the outside. Steel spits at Rave on the outside, and when Rave charges, he’s caught in a side headlock. They trade headlock takedowns, and Steel wins the exchange, holding one on tight. Punk and Bower discuss the contender’s ring, and Punk states he wants another shot at Joe before anyone else gets one. Ace continues to work the headlock, smacking Rave over the head while holding it. Rave looks to escape, but Steel holds on via the hair, and hauls him back into the headlock. A body slam gets 1 for Steel, and he moves right back to the headlock. Rave, frustrated, pulls the hair to get the hold released, but he’s hit with a high knee. Steel goes for a suplex, but they wind up blocking eachother. On the apron, they slug it out, and Rave elevates Steel over the ropes, crotching him. Rave uses a hairpull to get 2. What is this, a diva’s match? Rave hits an STO for 2. Steel starts to fire back, chopping at Rave, but Rave comes back with a side Russian legsweep and applies a mat octopus. He turns the hold into a crucifix for 2. Steel up...and Steel down via clothesline. An arrogant cover gets 2. Steel chops at Rave in the corner, but Rave comes back with a Northern lights suplex! Somehow, Steel landed in such a manner that he was able to float over after the move, and plans Rave with a backdrop suplex!! Steel hits a tiger driver for 2. He moves over to the camel clutch, but Rave escapes and gives Steel the Gonorrhea. No, I’m not making that up, and CM Punk is as disgusted with the name of the move as I am. Ace hits a big boot, goes for the sunset flip, but Rave doesn’t fall over and hits a Shining Wizard for 2!!! The camera pans over to the valet, and CM Punk quips “now THAT’S gonorrhea!” Rave goes for the Rave Clash, but it’s blocked with a double leg spin drop, and followed with an Indian deathlock. The crowd screams for Rave to tap, but he doesn’t and makes the ropes. Steel hits the Final Shock, covers, but only gets 2 because Rave puts his foot on his ropes. Nana gets on the mic, and starts screaming about something, but it’s impossible to hear with the announcers and poor sound quality. Steel is distracted by the whole thing, gets crotched on the top rope, and hit with the Rave Clash, giving Jimmy the win at 11:17. **
Backstage, LACEY isn’t happy that Izzy apparently wasn’t welcome tonight. ROH doesn’t want him around until he cleans up his act, and as a result she’s stuck hanging out with a bunch of Special K losers.
FAST EDDIE vs. ANGEL DUST (with Special K) vs. DUNN (with Marcos) vs. HOMICIDE (with the Havana Pitbulls)
A helpful graphic shows us that the current Contender’s Ring is:
- CM Punk - Homicide - Alex Shelley - Nigel McGuiness
Gee, I wonder who’s gonna win this one... Homicide doesn’t abide by the code of honor, as usual, refusing to shake hands. Dunn and Fast Eddie starts. Eddie and Dunn roll around for awhile before Dunn gets in a backslide for 2. They trade hiptosses, and Dunn gets planted with a flapjack. Dunn comes back with a doctor bomb, and Eddie tags out to Angel Dust. Dunn tries to tag out, but Homicide isn’t having any of it. Angel hits a Rock Bottom into a backbreaker (YOW!) for 2! Punk mentions Julius Smokes isn’t here tonight because he was caught taking a piss on Fenway Park after the Sox eliminated the Yankees from the playoffs. Dunn finally tags out to Homicide who wasn’t paying attention, and heads in. Homicide rips apart the turnbuckle pad while the fans chant “YANKEES SUCK” to get under his skin. Homicide takes Dust down with a headlock, then whips him over with a snapmare before kicking him in the face over and over. Lacey: “Oh, does that hurt Angel Dust? Poor thing...” I sense sarcasm in that woman’s voice. Homicide tags in Fast Eddie. Eddie chops away, but is hit with a satellite headscissors! A wheel barrow attempt is turned into a back suplex by Eddie. He tags out to Dunn. Dunn goes for a monkey flip on Dust, but Homicide shoves him off and tags himself in. Angel Dust hits Homicide with an enzuigiri that sends him to the floor, and follows with a Liger dive!!! Dunn follows with a stage dive onto both, and then Fast Eddie misses everyone with a 450 attempt!!! Homicide grabs a chair and beats the ever loving shit out of all 3 guys. Angel Dust is rolled in, alone with Homicide, and he’s immediately caught in a headlock. Homicide chops away at Dust, but gets caught in a cross arm breaker!!! Dunn breaks it up with a top rope elbow, and then Eddie hits Homicide with springboard spinning heel kick! Dunn absolutely flattens Eddie with a Gory bomb, and turns back to Homicide. Dumb move, because he’s hit with a pair of t-bones! Eddie chops Homicide, but gets a thumb in the eyes, followed by a spike DDT off the ropes. Angel Dust crawls in, and gets chopped. Dust heads to the top but gets crotched, and hit with a butterfly superplex!!! It gets 2! He goes for another butterfly suplex, but Eddie dropkicks Homicide. Dunn comes in and fights with Eddie to the top rope. Dunn is planted with a super fallaway slam. Homicide dumps Eddie, and locks Dunn in a submission, but he’s not legal. Eddie goes up, but Homicide sees him and gives him a Stunner off the top!!! He takes a lariat, but he’s not legal either. Angel Dust goes to attack Homicide, but the electric chair is blocked with a roll through. Cop Killer, 1, 2, 3, Homicide wins at 11:51. ***1/4 Homicide grabs the stick after the match, and throws out the following: “Fuck Boston, fuck the Red Sox, and fuck Pedro Martinez!” A FAN hits the ring, and gets the shit beaten out of him courtesy of the Rottweilers. Attacking that trio may be the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen a fan do, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a work.
ALLISON DANGER promises that Maff and Whitmer aren’t getting out of the arena alive. She reminds them that she still owns their careers, and sleeps with their contracts every night, dreaming of the day she ends them. Good lord.
THE CARNAGE CREW vs. DAN MAFF and BJ WHITMER (in a non sanctioned Boston street fight)
Everyone slugs it out to start. The Carnage Crew go for the Carnage Press on Whitmer, but Maff saves. Whitmer nails DeVito with a Northern lights for 2. DeVito comes back with a dropkick, sending Maff to the floor. Meanwhile, Whitmer hits Loc with a drop toe hold into some chairs. On the other side, Maff is ramming DeVito’s head into the ROH guardrail over and over, drawing some juice. Loc gives Whitmer a bodypress that takes them into the front row! Whitmer is dumped back to ringside while DeVito gives Maff a DDT on the ramp! Loc tears open Whitmer’s forehead with some sort of object, and when he spins around we see that he’s drawn juice as well. For that matter, Maff’s also bleeding thanks to the DDT, so everyone’s wearing a crimson mask after just 3 minutes. In the ring, Loc hits Whitmer with a t-bone. Loc lights him up with chops, while DeVito continues to work over Maff on the floor. Maff heads in while Whitmer rolls out. DeVito isn’t far behind, and he peppers Maff with punches. Maff comes back with a German suplex for 2 before Loc saves. Whitmer grabs a chair and throws it into the face of Loc. Loc tackles Whitmer and pounds him on the mat. Maff grabs the chair, hits both guys, and covers for 2. Whitmer tries a pinfall as well, but he also only gets 2. Whitmer and Maff start chopping eachother to get fired up, and now ALLISON DANGER is ringside with trashcans. She tries to throw it in, but she’s not strong enough and it bounces back at her, drawing some laughs from the crowd AND the announcers. Loc goes out to do it for her while Maff whips a chair at Danger!! Whitmer follows behind, chasing her backstage. In the ring, the Carnage Crew hits Maff with a double electric chair, followed by dual trashcan shots for the pinfall at 7:51. *1/2 Way too garbagy for my liking. Danger gets in the ring and demands blood, but the Crew responds with “FUCK YOU WHORE!” and walk away. Danger runs her hands through Maff’s blood, and licks it off her fingers. Ew.
CHAD COLLYER vs. LOW KI (with Ricky Reyes)
Collyer asks for a handshake, but Low Ki flips him off. Collyer takes him down, while Bower figures this is another match that’s going to be crucial in the Contender’s Ring voting. Collyer works a headlock, and then switches it over to a wristlock. Ki manages to twist out and kick at Collyer. Collyer comes back with a floatover suplex, and Low Ki rolls out to the floor for safety. Back in, Ki chops at Collyer and grinds his forearm into Chad’s face. Collyer fires back with chops of his own, and dropkicks Low Ki to the floor! Low Ki heads back in and delivers some uppercuts. Collyer tries a monkey flip, but Ki lands on his feet. Collyer hits a dropkick, but Ki is back up and throws some chops. Collyer throws some of his own, and Low Ki rolls back out. It looks like his ankle’s hurting him for some reason, and Reyes goes to kill time with the referee. Back in again, Collyer goes straight for the ankle, but Low Ki blocks the attack. He tries a whip, but falls down, and has to roll out to the floor again. Collyer chases this time and throws Ki back in. Low Ki drops a knee on Chad’s head, and follows with some chops, but again he collapses and goes to the corner holding his ankle. He tries to roll out again, and this time just takes his boot off. The referee gives us the big “X” and this one’s tossed aside.
RODERICK STRONG and JACK EVANS do their white suburban boy-speak backstage.
Back in the ring, Collyer and the referee are helping Low Ki out of the ring while Bower goes on and on about how much it sucks to see anyone hurt in this business. They’re headed through the ropes when Low Ki kicks Collyer in the midsection and pounds away. Bower: “THAT MOTHERFUCKER!” That draws a loud Low Ki chant from the crowd as he starts choking out Chad with his boot. A gutbuster connects, and Ki works the chops. Outside they go, Ki powers Collyer back to the guardrail several times. He spies the ringside table, sets it up over the guardrail, rakes the eyes of Collyer, and rolls him back in. He flips off the crowd who wanted to see the table used, and gets 2 inside. A dropkick gets 2. Low Ki picks up Collyer in a backbreaker, and dumps him down for 2. Collyer and Ki start trading chops mid ring, so Low Ki just pokes the eyes. Collyer comes back with a backdrop, followed by a pair of Malenko style dropkicks. Drop toe hold is moved into a kneebar, and Bower’s screaming about the poetic justice now! Low Ki makes the ropes for safety, so the hold is broken. Collyer goes for the Cloverleaf, but Ki blocks and sends him to the apron. They fight over a suplex, and Chad winds back on the inside of the ring. They continue the attempts to suplex, but Low Ki gives up and puts on the Dragon Clutch! It’s broken immediately because Collyer’s in the ropes, and Chad comes back with a dragon screw!!! Texas Cloverleaf is locked in, and Low Ki’s caught in the middle of the ring!!! Ki gets close, but Collyer drags him back again. He’s about to tap, but now Reyes gets onto the apron to distract the referee. Collyer leaps at Reyes, but he squirms back down to the safety of the floor. He goes for another Cloverleaf, but it’s blocked, Reyes clocks Collyer, Low Ki clotheslines him...and it’s good for 2! The Dragon Clutch is applied, but Collyer escapes by clawing at the ankle. Chad gets the Toilet Flush for 2! Ki pokes him in the eyes, goes for the Ki Crusher, but Collyer picks the legs out and goes for the Cloverleaf again. ROCKY ROMERO hits the ringside area now, distracting the referee, and Low Ki is placed on to the top rope. Reyes helps crotch Collyer as he goes for a superplex, and Low Ki leaps off the top with a HUGE stomp to the midsection, and wins the match at 17:13. *3/4 Not particularly good by either man’s standards, and the crowd wasn’t into it at all, aside from the faked injury.
JOHN WALTERS and NIGEL MCGUINESS vs. SAMOA JOE and JAY LETHAL
This is essentially a champion vs. champion match, and a fairly big deal since Joe’s been so outspoken against the Pure Title. Joe’s feeling is the title’s only around because no one can defeat him for the World Title, and thus is a useless prop. McGuiness and Lethal start. Nigel boots Lethal in the face, and rolls him up for 2. They trade nearfalls back and forth, then pause for an ovation from the crowd. Walters heads in and slaps on a headlock. A shoulderblock takes Jay down, but Lethal comes back with a neckbreaker and springboard dropkick for 2. Lethal tries a headlock takeover, but nearly gets pinned in the process. Joe tags in now and immediately takes Walters down with a drop toe hold, and bitchslaps him. Walters comes back with a takedown, and starts throwing crossfaces at Joe. THAT’S a quick way to piss Joe off, but Walters hits a dropkick. Joe comes back with a forearm, pulls Walters back to the corner, and tags in Lethal. A backbreaker from Jay gets 2. Joe comes back in, but Walters manages to fight Lethal and Joe off, and McGuiness is in. Drop toe hold, but Nigel puts a headlock on Joe. Joe escapes, and chops at McGuiness. Avalanche splash, and Joe starts facewashing McGuiness. He goes for a big boot, but Walters pulls McGuiness out of the way - and Joe stares a hole through John. McGuiness does a headstand in the corner, which he normally uses to kick opponents away, but Joe comes in full tilt and kicks him straight in the head! Lethal tags in and gets 2. A backdrop suplex gets 2. A snap suplex gets 2. CM Punk rants about being the only guy to take Joe to the limit, and wants one more shot. Joe comes in, headbutts McGuiness, strikes with several kicks, and gets 2. Lethal comes in and chops at McGuiness. A quick slam and legdrop gets 2. Lethal works a chinlock, releases, and hits a dropkick for 2. Back to Joe. The faces hit double elbows, and Joe gets 2. Joe applies a surfboard submission, but Nigel escapes, hits a headlock takedown, follows with a superkick that rocks Joe, and Walters tags in! Walters stomps on the very dazed Joe, but the referee chases him out since he never saw the tag. Walters throws a shit fit, but in the process Joe pulls McGuiness back to his corner and tags in Lethal. McGuiness hits Lethal with an armbar takedown, and tags in Walters. Walters gives Lethal a neckbreaker for 2! Walters clubs Lethal, hits an electric chair bomb, clubs Joe on the apron, and gives Lethal a clothesline. However, because the referee is busy keeping Joe out of the ring for the cheapshot, he can’t count. He finally sees it, and gets 2. Joe hits the ring to stomp on Walters, and both the referee and McGuiness send him outside. Lethal hits Walters with a big boot and then chops away in the corner. Walters is placed on to the top rope, but when Lethal climbs he’s caught by Walters and hit with a super Stunner for 2!!!! Lethal dropkicks Walters to get him out of the way and tags in Joe. Joe peppers Walters with shots immediately, and powerslams him for 2! He moves into the cross armbreaker immediately, but McGuiness comes in and drops an elbow! Joe gives him a shot to send him out, and then Walters takes a sidewalk slam! Back to Lethal. He powerbombs Walters while Joe hits McGuiness on the apron and gets 2. Walters comes back with the Lung Blower, and tries to regain his bearings. He does, and tags in McGuiness! European uppercut for Lethal, but he comes back with a hiptoss. Lethal chops in the corner, heads up, and gives Nigel a jumping DDT for 2! Walters saves, so Joe tosses him outside and hits a tope! While Joe rages on the outside, throwing chairs, McGuiness hits Lethal with an armbar takedown, and applies some European arm submission hold. Joe makes the save, then turns his attention back to Walters, hitting the Ole Ole kick! McGuiness gives Lethal a big boot, goes for his headstand, and catches Lethal hitting a corner bulldog for 2! McGuiness puts the arm submission back on, and Joe tries to save, but Walters holds him back...and Lethal taps at 18:10! ***1/2 Joe is less than impressed, and glares at everyone in the ring. McGuiness and Walters shake hands with Lethal and Joe, though Joe’s shakes are reluctant.
SHAUN PRICE stands with MAFF and WHITMER backstage, pimping the debut of Jushin Liger later tonight. He then asks the duo about going through a street fight, and then tomorrow getting a tag-team title match. Maff is NOT thrilled about the loss, feeling they got completely ripped off, but swears tomorrow they’ll win the belts.
DAVEY ANDREWS and SHANE HAGADORN vs. THE OUTCAST KILLAZ (with Prince Nana)
Andrews and Hagadorn are from the ROH training school, and are about to get killed. Andrews starts with Orman, and gets backdropped. Hagadorn comes in and gives Orman a drop toe hold, followed by a dropkick! Orman wasn’t quite expecting that, and tags in Diablo whom he helps by delivering a Russian legsweep and big boot combo. Snapmare is followed by a kick to the back and chop. Andrews comes back in, and gets chopped. A shoulderblock takes him down, and gets 2. Diablo delivers a headbutt, follows with a double leg slam, and gets another 2. Back to Orman. Andrews is planted with an inverted uranage suplex, giving Orman 2 before Hagadorn saves. Hagadorn is dumped by Orman, and Andrews is then hit with a dropkick from Diablo into a German suplex from Orman for the finish at 3:32. * Total throwaway crap.
AUSTIN ARIES vs. CM PUNK
The fans start a massive “FUCK TNA” chant during Punk’s entrance, because some kid at ringside gets into a shouting match with him about the competition. Punk grabs the stick: “I say that you’re at the wrong show! But you paid your money, you can wear anything you want, and I respect you for that...but I don’t respect you for that stupid haircut. Next time you give your barber your money, tell him to get rid of that little space between your eyebrows.” From there, he turns his attention to Austin, and promises to beat him in honor of Colt Cabana - and then Joe can’t duck him anymore. The third time WILL be the charm. The referee asks that the guys shake hands, so Punk shakes hands...with the ref. Hah! The wrestlers trade bitchslaps and shoves before getting into a full fledged slugfest. Punk takes Aries down with a drop toe hold, and they work the mat wrestling. Austin comes back with a legdrop over the arm, and paintbrushes the back of Punk’s head. They stand and go nose to nose, probably sharing their ideas of an ideal clam bake, but it breaks down when they get to the location, and they start trading punches again. Austin hits a shoulderblock, but is once again taken down with a drop toe hold, and Punk applies a headlock. Austin comes back with a double springboard back elbow, but stops to jaw with the fans and gets rolled up for 2. They start quickly trading holds, but that stops when Punk hits a shoulderblock and paintbrushes Aries now! Punk starts hammering and chopping away at Aries, and hits a second rope elbow to the head. Aries is sent face first to three of the four turnbuckles, and Punk gives us 10-punch count-a-long, but he’s hit with an atomic drop at 6. Aries comes off the top, but Punk catches him with an atomic drop, and follows with a LONG standing vertical suplex! Austin is positioned between the second ropes like a hammock, and Punk stands on his throat. He’s sent out. Back in, Punk catches him with slingshot sunset flip, but Austin dropkicks him in the face seconds later. Punk places Aries on the top, and hits him with a neckbreaker, dropping him on his head!!! A snapmare leads to a dropkick to the back of the head, and Punk gets 2. Punk throws a series of forearms, and then clotheslines Aries to the outside. Austin stumbles around...and is hit with a tope!!! Punk starts throwing Austin around into the guardrail and shouts “THIS IS A GRUDGE MATCH, I’M KICKING HIS ASS!” Aries comes back with a series of shoulderblocks to drive Punk back to the guardrail. He goes for a suplex, but Punk kicks him in the face. Austin stumbles back...and Punk goes for the Shining Wizard! Aries moves, and Punk hits his knee right into the ringpost!!! Aries doesn’t make things any more comfortable by dropping Punk knee first into the ringside table. Back in, Punk sidesteps a slingshot senton, but Austin just kicks out the knee, and Punk crumbles. Then the lights go out. Apparently Aries is taking advantage of the lights being out, but I can’t see a bloody thing. Someone manages to get a spotlight going - which pretty much solidifies that this was NOT planned, and ROH comes off looking as indy as ever. Congratulations! Aries dropkicks Punk in the knee several times, and gets 2. Punk has been busted open while the lights were fully out. In the corner, Austin hits a Stunner on Punk’s knee, and follows with a half-crab, with a bridge! He heads up now for a springboard back elbow, but Punk is ready, and hits Aries with a backdrop suplex off the momentum. Punk starts to chop and punch at Aries. He clotheslines the back of the head of Austin, causing him to turn inside out, and Punk gets 2. They start to trade nearfalls, and grab a series of 2’s and get a small ovation. Austin DDT’s Punk’s knee, and calls for the figure four! Punk shoves Aries away, but he comes right back with a slingshot senton to the knee! A running boot to the face gets 2. Punk comes back with a small package for 2. Aries clotheslines Punk, hits a power elbow to the knee, and applies a half-crab! Punk makes the ropes, and Aries breaks easily enough. He preps another atomic drop, but Punk slips away and hits a German for 2! Punk flapjacks Aries, goes for a Shining Wizard because he’s an idiot, and it’s EASILY blocked and turned into a half-crab! Punk makes the ropes again, and Aries isn’t thrilled this time, refusing to break until 3. They fight on the top rope over a superplex. Punk appears to have the Pepsi Plunge in place, but Aries fights away and tries the superplex again. Punk shoves him away. Austin climbs up again, but Punk was ready and hits the Pepsi Plunge!!!! He only gets 2 before Aries puts his foot on the ropes! Aries is placed on the top rope and Punk tries a superplex, however his knee buckles and he can’t do it. Austin threatens a Pepsi Plunge, but it doesn’t come. Instead they head down, and Aries hits a shinbreaker before backdropping Punk head first into the corner!!! Austin goes to the top, hits the 450 on the injured knee, and again Aries puts on the half-crab!!!! This time, center of the ring, and Punk has nowhere to go...so he taps at 22:46! ***1/2 Post-match, Aries gets on the mic and figures if anyone deserves a shot at Samoa Joe, it’s him.
JACK EVANS and RODERICK STRONG vs. THE HAVANA PITBULLS (with Homicide) (for the ROH world tag-team titles)
Neither team respects the code of honor, and gets straight to duking it out. Romero and Strong start in the ring. Strong swings Romero around by the feet, releases, then dropkicks him to the floor. Reyes and Evans slide into the ring. Evans dropkicks Reyes, and he rolls out. Evans follows with a tope con hilo onto Reyes and Homicide. Homicide is NOT happy, and flings Evans into the ring. Strong hits Romero with a dropkick in the ring, and applies a chinlock. Romero tries to dropkick Roderick, but misses. So instead he tries an anklelock, but Strong escapes and hits a backbreaker. Evans tags in. They double team Romero, hitting a knee to the midsection, followed by an Evans dropkick, and then a STANDING 450 splash for 2!!!! Dear god! Strong hits a double underhook suplex, and applies a rear chinlock. Evans back in. Strong hits an avalanche, followed by Evans being tossed into Romero and getting 2. Reyes heads in and kicks Evans in the back of the head repeatedly before being chased off by the referee. Strong powerbombs Evans onto Romero getting 2. Strong gives Romero a very long standing vertical suplex, and gets 2. Evans heads back in and pounds at the back of Romero, but Rocky hits a knee to the face. Reyes tags in and stomps the shit out of Evans, and hits a neckbreaker for 2. A backdrop suplex gets 2. The Pitbulls hit a double elbow to the back of Jack’s head, followed by a knee to the midsection and clothesline. Romero gets a 2 off that exchange. Reyes spits at Strong, causing Strong to come after them, and distract long enough to work double team on Evans. Evans is crotched on the ringpost, and then hit with a dropkick to the head. Homicide adds a couple of shots. Reyes twists at Jack’s head, and Romero adds a running kick to the face. They start with blind tags while Strong continues to inadvertently distract the referee. Romero gets a cocky 2. Romero puts on a front keylock, but Strong makes the save. Reyes tosses Evans to the outside, follows, and throws Jack head first into the guardrail. Romero hits a spike DDT, and gets 2. Reyes drops a leg, and Romero gets another 2. Double elbow smash, but Evans gets some momentum and hits a double dropkick! In comes Strong! He takes out both Pitbulls with clotheslines, and hits Romero with a gutbuster! Romero bails out, but Reyes tosses Strong. Evans dropkicks Reyes in the back of the head, and with everyone on the floor now, Jack hits them all with a sky twisting moonsault! Back in, Romero goes for the keylock on Strong, but Strong blocks with a backbreaker for 2! A second backbreaker gets 2! Strong chops at Romero, but Rocky comes back with a dropkick to the knees. A series of knee strikes and kicks to the face gets 2. A flying knee gets 2! Evans makes the save, and adds a “fuck you bitch!” Classy. Reyes tags in, and hits a release belly to belly on Strong for 2! Strong comes back with a backdrop suplex, which CM Punk calls “freaky retard strength!” Evans tags in, and hits a top rope crossbody for 2! He tries a second one, this time for Romero, but Romero escapes with a victory roll off the shoulders of Strong, and applies an anklelock! Evans meanwhile is hit with a NASTY fisherman’s buster for 2! Evans comes back with a spinning heel kick on Reyes, and follows with a corkscrew shooting star press...but it ONLY gets 2! Another spinning heel kick hits Reyes, and he heads up with Rocky and Strong on the floor! He hits the 630 splash, and appears to have the win...but the referee says it’s only 2, and the crowd isn’t pleased, starting a “BULLSHIT” chant! Romero is caught by Strong in a torture rack position, and Evans goes up. However, Rocky escapes the hold, and Evans winds up dropkicking his own partner in the back of the head! Reyes grabs Jack, hits a tombstone, and scores the real pinfall at 17:56. **3/4
BRYAN DANIELSON vs. JUSHIN LIGER
Danielson spent the morning rummaging around in Mr. Dressup’s Tickle Trunk, and came up with Christopher Daniels’ cloak, and has opted to wear it...perhaps to show he has personality. Liger’s pop blows the roof off, and it lands somewhere in New Jersey. During intros, Danielson throws his cloak at Liger. We get a handshake, and Punk says the noise from the fans has caused his head wound to open up again, and apologizes for any blood spillage on Bower. Liger puts on a figure four sleeper to start, but Danielson escapes and applies an Indian deathlock. Liger escapes and comes back with a camel clutch. Danielson tries an anklelock, but Liger makes the ropes. Liger hits an armdrag, and gets a standing ovation. No, really. That’s wild. Test of strength, but Danielson powers out and tries a shoulder tackle...which Liger no sells. Danielson instead opts to go for Liger’s own surfboard, but it’s reversed and Liger’s the one who applies it! That’s followed by a dragon sleeper, but Danielson claws at the mask to force him to remove it! Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker connects, and Danielson rolls out. Air Liger follows! Back in, Danielson starts throwing European uppercuts, and facewashes Liger with his boot. A hotshot hangs Liger over the rope, and a dropkick sends him to the outside. Danielson whips Liger to the guardrail, and rakes the eyes. More whips to the guardrail, and more chants for Liger, so Danielson flips the fans off. Back in, Danielson gets 2. Danielson works a grounded abdominal stretch, but then rolls back with a crucifix for 2. A butterfly suplex gets 2. To the chinlock. Danielson tries to pull off Liger’s mask, so the referee tells him to “lay off the mask.” Danielson hears “take off the mask?” and tries to comply. Flip off the fans once again, and Liger is then hit with an airplane spin that goes on for nearly 45 seconds. Danielson wants to follow with a headbutt, but he’s dizzy as hell and can barely find the top rope. When he does, he misses by a bunch of feet, and plays dead. Liger goes for his own top rope headbutt, but misses! They both get up, and Liger connects with a palm strike! To the top rope they go, and Liger hits the rana for 2!!! Danielson comes back with a dropkick to the arm, blocking an attempted palm strike, and jerks the socket around. Danielson tries a dragon suplex, but it’s blocked, so he goes for the German instead for 2. That’s followed by Cattle Mutilation, releases, and nearly gets 2 with a tight package. Another package gets 2. Flying forearm, dragon suplex, and somehow Liger kicks out at 2!!!!! Another Cattle Mutilation!! Liger crawls around and makes it to the ropes! Danielson starts paintbrushing Liger, and goes for a vertical suplex. Liger blocks it several times, and then fires off a brainbuster!!! Liger signals for another palm strike, which he hits, and goes for the running Liger bomb... It’s BLOCKED, but Liger’s Koppo kick isn’t, and now he hits the running Liger bomb for 2!!! Liger says that’s enough, and puts Danielson on the top. Danielson headbutts Liger, but Liger turns around and hits Brainbuster Dangerous and scores the pinfall at 18:24!!!! ***3/4 Excellent match. We even get the post-match handshake and celebration to send the fans home happy.
Backstage, CARNAGE CREW say they’re thrilled that Mick Foley’s here in ROH, but promise they won’t be turned into the bad guys just because he’s around. They tell Allison Danger to stay out of their business.
JUSHIN LIGER says he’s very happy, and thanks the fans for their support.
PRINCE NANA tells JIMMY RAVE he’s overdue for a title shot, and then orders THAT GIRL from earlier to clean his shoes. THE OUTCAST KILLAZ want a title shot, but Nana blows them off and says they’re headed out on the town to celebrate Rave. And the show comes to a close...
You may not have been expecting it, but sorry it’s late...greetings from under the buzzing fluorescent bulbs of my office and the adjustable blaze orange hunting cap as I write one of the first columns for the new folder (while on the clock)!