"How did you celebrate his return? (from Tommy John surgery)
I probably got hammered. I’m usually hammered anyway. If he’s doing well after two innings, I just party. Kris gets so pissed after every game because he’ll come get me and I’m wasted. I won’t even know who won."
I'd rather have Alyssa Milano hanging out at Sox games, and her boyfriend Zito is a much better investment than Benson.
"He is the most overrated piece of crap in the league. He bitched and whined after he got his ass beaten in New England last year, so the NFL changed the rules. Then he got his ass beaten in New England again. Every year he's the top MVP candidate. Every year he's supposed to be the best. Every year he's going to carry the Colts to the Super Bowl. And every single year he goes to New England and gets his ass beaten. And his brother's a whiny little bitch." -A friend of mine, on Peyton Manning
To any fans of the Marlins: I must be honest; I have a hatred for your team. It's not that your team or you fans did anything inherently wrong, but it is your owner. Your owner murdered a piece of my childhood.