It's back - with quite possibly the biggest Captionomics to date... 16 pics from WWE and TNA waiting to be captioned. Why so many? I just couldn't drop any of these. So here they are and as Teddy Long would probably say: "Get ta cappin'".
(edited by TopTenPro on 13.8.04 0925) PAM ANDERSON on being named E!'s best blonde: "The carpet don't match the drapes!" "... Just kidding, there is no carpet."
Originally posted by Kawshen If I am so phenomenal, why cant they get me some real ring gear? FOUR sweatbands? 2.
Chris Benoit and Y2J welcome back Zack Gowen from a long abscence.
3.
Bubba Ray "Cole, how much of Shanes manhood did you have to swallow to get this job anyhow?" Cole: " 'bout this much"
4.
"Well ladies, the tests are back, now I know which one of you gave me clamidia"
5.
The Dudleys show off thier new "Boys in da hood ornament"
6.
"Where's the hydralics esse?"
7.
"TNA wrestling is proud to present, thier new Champion of the world, TACO"
8.
Just as Jim Ross had feared, Jeff Hardy's coke use was out of control.
9.
Vince McMahon "If they buy tickets to see JBL play Champ, they will buy them to see Orlando play uncle Tom.
10.
Matt signs his new contract with the devil, clause 5, page 3 reads "six more months of looking like an ass, and WWE PROMISES you an IC shot at Royal Rumble."
11.
RVD "Mid Card? Have you seen where Sabu is lately?"
12.
UT "Bischoff, you look taller on TV"
13.
"Why is Vince McMahons poster in COLOR and my man MLK in Black and White?"
14.
"Tenay, let me tell you about the time I got high on Coke, cranked called Susan Dey and beat up a transvestite hooker" Wait, thats not Danny Bonaducci, disregard.
15.
Killings "I'm The TRUTH! I was NWA CHAMPION!" Monte Brown "Wasnt this the rowdy rowdy bitch?"
16.
"Look, you already got a hat, we can be the next edition of the FOUR HORSEMEN..... what? what you mean you rather have Paul Roma?
Originally posted by KawshenIt's back - with quite possibly the biggest Captionomics to date... 16 pics from WWE and TNA waiting to be captioned. Why so many? I just couldn't drop any of these. So here they are and as Teddy Long would probably say: "Get ta cappin'".
1.
Peekaboo!!!2.
The Canadian waterpolo team is just about ready for the olympics3.
Bubba: She told me she was of age. Cole: whatever you say...pedifile4.
"I Got Hoes" 5.
Spike: Im the king of the world... Bubba: Just wait till we drop him 6.
I need new rims for my wheelchair 7.
So it is true fans Jeff here LOST to a woman in WWF... Jarrett: Ok This guy is fired8.
Through ya hands in the air 9.
This is the only way I could get a push 10.
Lita breaks Matts Concentration by sneezing 11.
Now how does the Rock do it again? deal12.
Yes my son, you are learning well 13.
and to think, I used to be just a ref 14.
Thats Incredible!!!15.
Killings: Guess what.... Alpha: you still want to be a legend like Timmy and Lassie??16.
The four horsemen were figurative, they didnt really ride horses....
Randy frowns because he never got to RKO the hell out of the losing diva.
6.
Eddie Guerrero invades Kurt Angle's living room.
8.
Jeff Hardy features the brand new Imagi Warrior Fighting Stance.
10.
Upset at his seemingly low standing on the card and stuck feuding with Kane up until Lita "gives birth"; Matt decides to urinate in the ring.
11.
"Dude! If I stay reeeeal quiet, the closed caption logo won't attack me! Yeah! All right!"
12.
The midget failed to shake hands with his larger counterpart in the pre-show meeting. And thus his ensuing treatment...
14.
Don West takes a break from his weekly announcing duties to offer a poignant wedding proposal to his girlfriend. He then proceeds to eat the microphone.
15.
Despite boasting two NWA title reigns and a strong fan following, Monty Brown knows that he's looking at Road Dogg's rappin' tag team partner.
Okay, who switched the regular ring for this six-sided shit? 2.
Edge: Geez, and I thought Benoit was short. 3.
Tazz: Hey... we're not the ones saying SmackDown sucks! Cole: It was Scott Keith.... honest. 4.
Orton: So wait.... this crap is about supposed to go on for another two months? 5.
This summer, help send an underpriveledged child to camp... 6.
No, no, no, wait. This is a good one.... Guess who I'm supposed to be? 7.
Announcer: So it's written here you're keeping the belt till 2008? Jarrett: Ain't I Great? 8.
Vampiro makes his triumphant return to the squared circle. 9.
WWE's auditions for a Pulp Fiction remake weren't going as well as planned... 10.
Kane: You're signing a death warrant for your career. Hardy: Yeah, yeah, I know. You don't have to rub it in... 11.
(Inhales) That's some good shit (yes, I know that was the obvious joke, but still....) 12.
What the hell do you mean, you're the Original? 13.
I bring you two great leaders in civil rights... 14.
West: A ha ha! Look at that, Mike. Someone's doing the bunny ears behind your head. Ha! Hilarious! Tenay: Why the FUCK didn't I take the job with McMahon? 15.
Killings: Okay, I understand they want to keep bringing in former headliners, but ZEUS? 16.
Skipper: Now listen here, punks! Just because we don't have a good gimmick, doesn't mean we don't deserve your respect and attention. Harris: What the hell is Zeus doing over there?
5... 4... 3... 2... 1... okay, ready or not, here I come! Some minutes later...) Okay, Jarrett, seriously, where'd you hide my career?
2.
EDGE: We're gonna win! JERICHO: Dude, be realistic. We're all jobbers. We're just Canadian, so we're, like, the Gold Card of jobbers.
3.
COLE: If it's thiiiiis big, I'll give you $300 for one hour. BUBBA: FOUR HUNDRED!
4.
Okay, keep it cool, Randy. Keep it cool. You're doing fine. Just remember what Triple H said. Sound out the words. Be patient. Okay, here goes, "Goo-ood-uh? Eve-uhhhh-ning-uh? Gooduh eveninghuh. Good evening! I em...? I-em... I'm. I'm! Rannn Dee? Ran-dee... RANDY! Hey, that's my name!"
5.
MY ARMPITS BURN LIKE THE FIRES OF HADES!!!!
6.
I'm the Hispanic FDR! We nothing to fear but high costs for quality memorabilia! I'm declaring war on high prices! My prices are so low, I must be in a great depression!!!! Aaaaarrrrrrrgggghghhhhhhhhhghghghghgh! (garbled, unintelligible)
7.
ANNOUNCER: I'm someone you don't know, and this is Jeff Jarrett. Aaaannnnnd welcome back to 1983! After we're done doing whatever it is we're doing, Jeff and I are going to sit in his IROC-Z, do bumps of cocaine off the back of his belt and then mutually jerk each other off!
8.
OH MY GOD! IT'S DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL! I'M NOT WORTHY! I'M NOT WORTHY! I'M NOT WORTHY!
9.
JORDAN: And I said to him, "JBL that's not my finger, either!" JBL: Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee. Other guy-man make'd the funny. Haw haw haw haw haw. He funny.
10.
MATT: You, me and everyone else here knows that I can't read. KANE: In our match, I'm gonna gnaw on your face for no reason. Probably chew off an eyebrow. MATT: Why? KANE: Shut up, jobber.
11.
In the top-left corner, we see a square with a tail. This is RVD's thought bubble. This is what he sees when you ask him what he thinks "selling" is like.
12.
MIDGET: This demeans us both. TAKER: You wanna blow this off and see if we can drink away the memory of this?
13.
poooooooke LONG: Does this bug you? poke LONG: This bug you? poke LONG: This bug you?
14.
I sincerely have no fucking clue who these people are.
15.
KILLINGS: Get ROWDY! Get ROWDY! I SAID GET ROWDY!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY WON'T YOU GET ROWDY???? BROWN: (to camera) I just asked him which way to get to the bathroom.
16.
SKIPPER: I'm telling you, man. Two chicks at the same time. One of them was named Starla, and the other called herself "Turbo." HARRIS: Hush! Jesus approaches from the ceiling.
The last mistake Cole ever made was calling pass interference against Bubba Ray.
Orton ponders what to do; he can't read, and he figures none of the contestants can, either.
5.
Jeez, Spike, would you use a little deodorant once in a while?
8.
I'M NOT WORTHY! I'M NOT WORTHY! (From the back, guys who haven't gotten a title shot can be heard agreeing.)
12.
Ladies and gentleman, the man who puts the "under" in "Undertaker".
14.
If you're not on the line for this right now, I feel sorry for you....this is your ONLY chance to own Mike Tenay in GEM MINT TEN!!! This is not a random deal, you are GUARANTEED to receive MIKE TENAY in a grade of GEM MINT TEN! This is the BEST DEAL in the HISTORY of Shop At Home!! THIS...is THE BEST DEAL...in the HISTORY of Shop At Home!!!!!!!
15.
That's right, Monty, that guy K-Kwik you said you liked--THAT WAS ME!
16.
So...ALL FOUR of us were having affairs with Governor McGreevey?
1. DONDE ESTA MIS PANTALONES? 3. WHERE'S THE PANDA?! 4. OH S***, I FORGOT HOW TO READ. MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE OFF MY PANTS AND SCREAM! 5. I WANT TO BE ON WWE ORIGINALS!!! 6. TIMMY! 8. FEAR ME! FOR I HAVE THE POWER TO BE LATE! 9. I SAW A FLOCK OF MOOSEN! MANY MUCH MOOSEN!
Randy: "Don't punch the red-head...don't punch the red-head...don't punch the red-head..." 5.
Spike: "FINALLY, they're doing something fresh and sticking me with the Dudleys! ...shit, I'm screwed." 6.
Eddy Guerrero, shown above, gloats about the fact that even while making fun of the handicapped, he's still way more over than Billy Gunn will ever be. 7.
Jarrett, realizing the ridiculousness of his main event push, can't help but giggle uncontrollably every time someone says "NWA World Champion Jeff Jarrett." 8.
Jeff: "And this is what a glow-in-the-dark bull with a painkiller addiction would look like. MOOOooooOOOOOooooOOoooooo!" 9.
JBL unleashes his latest weapon: the jacked-up resurrected corpse of Scatman Crothers. 10.
Matt: "My brother gets fired, paints fake jizz on his face, and gets thrown into a world title program. I stay with the company and feud with a guy who impregnated my woman. Mom was right, God DOES hate me." 11.
RVD, shown here in a rare moment where he's not stiffing or injuring another wrestler. 12.
Taker: "Jesus Christ, Vince...another fake family member?" 13.
Long: "You see, what's weird is that usually the little devil's on my left shoulder and the little angel's on my right." 14.
On last Wednesday's PPV Mike Tenay and Don West, at Vince Russo's insistance, began the new tradition of taunting David Young with masturbatory gestures. 15.
Killings: "You're crazy, man! Look, IT'S NOT REAL! Wrestling's staged, man, you can't just go interrupting interviews and shit!" Brown: "Huh?" Killings: "See?! There's a camera right there! It's all a TV show!" Brown: "...what...the...Hell..." 16.
Skipper: "I'm telling you this as a friend. There have been hundreds of cowboy monikers in wrestling, and what...maybe four got over? FOUR! Just stop!"
1. Somehow, though the tens of people in the crowd, AJ can still see Russo's ego in the back
2. Seeing 3 Canadians together in the Main Event, HHH immedialty called the authorities.
3. "Call a fucking move or I'll beat you with this belt.... wait, you're not King and Ross.... my bad, continue."
4. "Hmm.... so it says here that 3 of you like to swallow, and the rest spit.... OK, so now we're down to 3 contestants..."
5. For being the most stale tag team in the last 25 years, the Dudleys win a midget... and some belt.
6. With so many remakes of old TV shows being made into movies, Eddie takes 20 minutes of Smackdown's time to audition for the lead role for "Ironside". Hey, beats a Billy Gunn/Suzuki match.
7. Jarrett chuckles to himself as the announcer trys to convince that anyone can be champ at any time. And I see by the empty seats that they are filming this at a Smackdown house show. How odd.....
8. Wow. Sunny does NOT look good these days. I guess being with Candido will do that to a person....
9. JBL thinking to himself: 'Dear Lord. This is the worst rendition of "Bump and Grind" I've ever heard. Just keep smiling, it's almost over...'
10. It's at this point, when Jim Ross that he has to call this match involving a midcarder, a skank and a stale hoss, that he gets that "I think I have to call my agent to see if he can get in touch with the Jarett's" Face going. Or maybe that's just the Bell's Palsy....
11. Sadly, 10 seconds later, when RVD opens his eyes, he's still in the midcard, wrestling Renee Dupree. Try harder next time Rob!
12. It's not the fact that there's a midget impersonating him that has him shocked... It's that Taker has just realized that there's someone on the active roster that hasn't pinned Shannon Moore.
13. "OK, I know what you are thinking. Another useless GM taking up valuable airtime. But I'm different. For one thing, I'm not going to pretend I know karate. Hey, it's me or Stephanie. Your choice, playa. Your choice."
14. Tenay thinking to himself: 'Dear Lord. This is the worst rendition of "Bump and Grind" that I've ever heard...."
15. "Who the fuck is the Negro? And why is there always a camera around?"
16. Skipper informs AMW about how many people ordered the PPV.
(edited by DirtyMikeSeaver on 13.8.04 1223)
(edited by DirtyMikeSeaver on 13.8.04 1223) By the way, Storm's gimmick includes 1.) telling the audience to shut up, and 2.) occasionally making everyone stand for the Canadian national anthem. You know they don't know what to do with a wrestler when he's making fans stand for a national anthem. It's like waving a white flag and saying, "This guy has no personality -- we give up."
2)Benoit: Damn it...Why do i have to put Orton over. HAVENT I SUFFERED ENOUGH
Jericho: Hey at least your title run wasn't centered around getting lotion so Steph could lube up the old Grand Canyon.
Edge: Hey look at that chick in the front row.
3)Bubba: DAMN IT COLE...IF I EVER CATCH YOU WATCHING ME IN THE SHOWER AGAIN I'M GONNA GUT YOU ALIVE.
4)Ladies...I got some good news. I just saved a bunch of money on my car inssurance by switching to Geico.
5)D-Von: Hey Bubba...when do we get to kill him
Bubba: Patience D-Von...Patience
6)Eddie: Hey Esse's...look at all this shit that I found in the garbage. Someone was throwing away a perfectly good title belt.
7) Jarrett: Hehehe...Higher a NASCAR Announcer...I'm a freaking genius...TAKE THAT VINCE.
8)And here we see an akward moment during the PPV when Jeff died in the ring and went into rigor mortis
9)JBL: See, I told you all that I could buy myself a real live black person. It worked for Jackie Gleason in The Toy
10)Kane: Come on Matt it's a good deal. I get to nail Lita Monday through Thursday and you get her on the weekends. I mean she handles the stick pretty well and she doesn't have that much milage on her.
11)RVD: Duuuuuuude...where's Fonzie?
12)Midget Taker: The fuck you lookin at...I'll fuck you up.
13)Teddy: ONLY IN AMERICA COULD A PLAYA LIKE ME CON A HONKY LIKE VINCE INTO GIVING ME THIS GIG.
14)Tenay: If he shills one more Big Mac rookie card, I'm gonna stab him in the eye with a pencil.
15)Truth: WHACH YOU THINK YOU DOIN BOY. THE COKED UP CRAZY ASS NIGGA IS MY GIMMICK.
16)Elix: HEY...HEY...I'M TALKING TO YOU. Harris: Yeah well get your balls out a vice and maybe someone will notice you.
1. AJ: Damn, why did Kidman have to go and ruin my look.
2. Edge: So what's my new hometown?
3. Bubba: You better start singing boy! Cole: Deep and wide, deep and wide...
4. Orton: Carmella, your word is.....CAT! Carmella: Uhhh....K...
5. Spike: I'm the greatest champion since Jackie!
6. Eddie: After my success in track at the Olympics, i have now entered myself in the Special Olympics.
7. Interviewer: So why I have you chosen this new career change. Jeff: Because I am the chosen one! Mozarts got nothing on me.
8. Jeff attempts to tag in his imaginary tag team partner.
9. Orlando: It was me! It was me all along! I am El Gran Luchador!
10. Lita: Sometimes when I get nervous I put my hands under my armpits and then I smell them like this!
11. RVD: Ahhh, Charlie.....if only Rico had persuaded you to join our side.
12. Undertaker: Run that idea by me again. Midget: You see later it's revealed that i'm actually Kane and Lita's baby, but I was sent back her from the past to stop them for this horrible angle that destroys the WWE. Undertaker: BUt then wouldn't you never exist? Midget: Oh yeah...
13. Teddy: So let me tell you about my family tree...
14. Tenay: Even Cole's job looks good about now.
15. Monty Brown: Can YOU understand what he's saying either?
16. "Primetime" Bo Duke and "The Fallen Angel" Luke Duke outsmart Cletus and Roscoe once again.
9. You think this is bad? Wait ten years when I'm playing Curly in West Texas Rednecks 2014!
10. Lita: PHBBBBBBBBBBBBBTTTT!! Matt: Oh come on Lita! This is serious!
11. Do you smell the brownies I'm cookin'?
12. There are moments that define your life, every event, every action, pushing you onward... onward to that one moment that you were put here on this earth to accomplish. For this midget...his moment has come.
13. Let me tell ya a little thing about irony...
14. Don West tries to carry the show as Tenay fumes over losing the part of The Penguin to Jeff Jarrett.
15. It was all cool until Konan decided to show B.G. James the finer points of "machismo" off camera during Monty's Promo...
16. Ha! Your shadow puppets are no match for the amazing power of JR's HAT!
Thread ahead: Hard Knocks: The Chris Benoit Story Next thread: Austin & his Ex-Girlfriend at it again. Previous thread: Diva Contest Boredom... the XFL of T&A?