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The W - Random - It took me 20 minutes to cancel my AOL today
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DJ FrostyFreeze
Knackwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Hawthorne, CA

Since last post: 7 days
Last activity: 11 hours
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.95

After I navigate my way through the voice mail-option tree & sit on-hold for awhile, here's what I get:

----------------------------------------------
AOL GUY: Thank you for calling AOL [bla bla bla], how can I help you today?

ME: Yessir, I'd like to cancel my account please.

AOL GUY: Alrighty then. I'm really sorry to hear that, but I wont let that keep me from helping you do that today.

[He asks me for some ID info & pulls up my account]

AOL GUY: Wow Mr. Freeze, you've been with us a long time! May I ask why you're leaving?

ME: Well, I had cable internet for 3 years and I really shouldve canceled this a long time ago. Now I've had DSL for about a year now and I have 3 new email addys. Really no sense in me paying $23.99/month for something I never use, you know?

AOL GUY: But you've been paying for it all this time already, and since you've been a member for so long, you've accrued a lot of credit with us. Would it help if I lowered your payments today?

ME: Not really. I dont really use it anymore.

AOL GUY: And you've been paying for it all this time? May I ask why you're just now canceling?

ME: Just lazy I guess. I kept putting it off.

AOL GUY: Well, if you're connecting to the internet through DSL, I can keep your AOL email accounts active for only $9.99/month. Would you like me to do that for you now?

ME: No thank you. Like I said, I never ever really use the accounts anymore. I check the inbox(es) like every 8 weeks or so just to make sure no one is still sending me stuff there, and they're not.

AOL GUY: If you decide to stay with us today I can lower your payments to $4.99 a month! Are you sure you can walk away from a deal like that?

ME: Yes, please.

AOL GUY: Even if I gave you free service until Sept 6, then just $4.99 a month after that?

ME: Yes, even then. Like I said, I never never ever use it. Even during the free period, I wouldnt touch it. Then when the $4.99/month starts, that's just me paying $4.99 a month for something I'll never ever even look at again. I know $4.99/month for something I'll never use is $19/month less than the $23.99 a month I'm paying now for something I'm currently not using, but still.
----------------------------------------------

He finally gave in, then transfered me to a pre-recorded disclaimer about when my account will officially be turned off, then the recorded message made sure to repeat 3 times for me the number I should call if I were to change my mind.

UGH.





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Mayhem
Scrapple








Since: 25.4.03
From: Nashville, TN

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 2 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.62

I've went through that shit with them too ... it's like going through Congress to get it cancelled.




Go banana.
The Goon
Boudin blanc
Moderator








Since: 2.1.02
From: Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Since last post: 40 days
Last activity: 17 min.
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.08
It's just as bad as trying to cancel a credit card. However, it's a good tactic if you want to have your interest percentage lowered on the card.
Matt Tracker
Scrapple








Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 2 hours
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.84
I signed up with PeoplePC through a NYTimes syndicate offer. The reduced-priced PC came with the ISP service contract. I left the syndicate paper a year later and the remainder of the ISP coverage was taken out of my paycheck. This left me with prepaid years on my internet access.

When the coverage neared its end last fall, I got a pop-up icon on my desktop giving me advance warning, asking me to contact them. I called them and asked for the same coverage and was given a contract rate. When my initial coverage ended, they were to start charging me. They never did. I called them to straighten it out (I didn't want a cumulative bill months later), and their system claimed I still covered by the original contract. I moved eight months later and deleted all the PeoplePC software because there's no local access number at the new place.

What I've heard most about AOL is that it will still charge you for service you no longer have. I'd keep an eye out for the bills. And I recommend PeoplePC for anyone with dial-up and local access numbers.



"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
dunkndollaz
Banger








Since: 3.1.02
From: Northern NJ

Since last post: 4 days
Last activity: 2 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.58
I had the same experience without the financial incentives - I thought I was never going to get him to give in and cancel my account. I will NEVER get AOL again.



Folk singers are always liberal pansies, but not me.....I sing for my fellow conservatives...care to hear "Shoot the Hippie out of the Redwood Tree" ?
Lotty
Chourico








Since: 23.3.02
From: Bay Area

Since last post: 3327 days
Last activity: 2600 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.00
Every time I call to cancel AOL, they give me 2 free months.
Every single time.
It's been awhile since I've paid anything.

My method when I do decide to really cancel: sound rushed. I will be connected to the CSR and give them my info and act like I really have to be somewhere in a couple of minutes.

If that doesn't go well, like the great D.A.R.E. program taught me, just say "NO!" with the method of the broken record.

"NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!"





SeVen ™
Kishke








Since: 11.1.02
From: Japan

Since last post: 2412 days
Last activity: 2243 days
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.09
I don't want to look like a creepy perv here but uhmmm....if you subscribe to any paycom service like MILFHunter, 8st Latinas, Bangboat...and you try to cancel they will offer you a rate of 9.95 instead of 39.95 a month. Uhmmm.....yeah.




R.I.P. Paul Bearer
1991-2004
Forever cemented in wrestling history

Dutchie
Boerewors
Moderator








Since: 29.1.02
From: PA

Since last post: 74 days
Last activity: 51 min.
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.35
    Originally posted by dunkndollaz

    I had the same experience without the financial incentives - I thought I was never going to get him to give in and cancel my account. I will NEVER get AOL again.


I'd take the neverending "are you sure?" sales pitch over what my dad went through with another service two weeks ago. When my dad called to cancel, they forwarded him to the collections department for the balance. It's supposed to be charged to his credit card, which it was, but this collections guy said that the credit card didn't exist and we MUST be using a new card. So after 20 minutes of arguing, they finally figured out that the snafu came from the reissuing of the credit card after the expiration date had passed. For some reason, they classify that as a new card, and our TOS said that we had to notify them of card changes. Since it wasn't an account change, we didn't. The numbers were the same, but somehow their computer didn't have the same card number. I have no idea whose card that was they had in the computer, but it was billing Dad's credit card. The guy said something to my father along the lines of "It's not my problem if you're too old or forgetful, or can't understand a simple contract."

Now my dad is usually a pretty laid back guy (as laid back as anyone who's worked in secondary education/administration for 35 years can be), but that set him off. If they really do record calls for training purposes, I would pay to witness a training session with that call. The rep was just flat out rude, and my father gave it right back for about 10 minutes. Allegedly, this rep was the only person in his department that anyone had to answer to, and he just kept goading my father. I had thought that since this ISP is basically AOL Lite, they'd have somewhat similar customer service. But Dad got no offers of staying on for a reduced rate despite the fact we'd been with them for three years or anything - just the "Not my fault if you can't remember things" refrain.



093093-012103
"Light beer? What's next, non-addictive painkillers?"
Madame Manga
Kolbasz








Since: 16.1.02
From: Silicon Valley

Since last post: 138 days
Last activity: 3 days
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.16
I'd bet the people on the phones get a bonus for every would-be canceler they manage to keep on AOL's rolls. I've heard too many stories just like this one.

Frankly, I'd nuke my AOL account in a second if I could do without the email addy I've had since 1995. How long is it going to take for portability to happen? Probably not in Steve Case's lifetime.

MM
Whitebacon
Boudin blanc








Since: 12.1.02
From: Fresno, CA

Since last post: 29 days
Last activity: 1 day
AIM:  
ICQ:  
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.27
    Originally posted by Lotty
    If that doesn't go well, like the great D.A.R.E. program taught me, just say "NO!" with the method of the broken record.

    "NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!"


This is how I had to cancel my AOL account.




(Not Bob Kohm)


In the context of baseball, the use of drugs hurts only the player. In the context of baseball, the use of alcohol hurts only the player. In the context of baseball, womanizing hurts whom? Maybe the wife of the player? In the context of baseball, felonies are crimes against society, not against baseball. In the context of baseball, gambling is the only crime against baseball.

Gambling, in the context of baseball, is a capital offense and Rose has richly earned-- hell, he agreed to-- his death sentence. Let him hang.

Bob Kohm, co-owner of Rotojunkies.com (rotojunkies.com) , and a large market kind of guy.
KaneRobot
Morcilla








Since: 24.2.02
From: Bowels

Since last post: 2387 days
Last activity: 1679 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.61
I talked to my mom the other day and she wants to get rid of it, I warned her that if she cancels it tomorrow, she'll probably actually be rid of it round Christmas. They no likey you cancelling.



Dahak
Frankfurter








Since: 12.5.02
From: Junction City OR.

Since last post: 1988 days
Last activity: 1640 days
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.47
When I cancelled Compuserve (AOL's bastard brother) I had the same fun experience as Frosty Freeze with the added bonus of spending more than 2 hours on hold. They won't let you cancel the card on the internet something about it not being secure enough? Then they play the worst 80's pop music ever.
Seriously a lot of these big buisnesses customer service line are getting worse than the govt. At least with the govt. they have the excuse of often time having other jobs to do. That is all the people for Chase, CS, and GM ever do. The worst I have ever had to deal with has to be BOFA. God they suck.



Marge I am just trying to get into heaven not run for Jesus.
Merc
Potato korv








Since: 3.1.02
From: Brisbane, Australia

Since last post: 1250 days
Last activity: 1229 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.37
    Originally posted by Dahak
    They won't let you cancel the card on the internet something about it not being secure enough?

Now THAT is the one excuse I hate the most. A cynical person might think they just want to get you on the phone to try and talk you into staying...........
Dahak
Frankfurter








Since: 12.5.02
From: Junction City OR.

Since last post: 1988 days
Last activity: 1640 days
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.47
Really I hadn't thought of that. Yeah it's ridicolous. AOL and the other companies always brag about how safe it is to order on the internet and then won't let you cancel your account over the internet.
If it's safe to order movies, games, clothes, and of course porn of the internet why can't isn't it safe to cancel your account over it. They just piss me off.



Marge I am just trying to get into heaven not run for Jesus.
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There is (or at least used to be) also a comic tie-in to the show. I only looked at one issue, because it featured a cross-over between the Archie Gang and the old Archie/MLJ heroes (shield, fly, ...).
- odessasteps, Archie's Weird Mysteries (2002)
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