2)Booker: Cole, you make Stevie Ray look like Gordon Solie.
3)Bubba: Spike, remember those fun days in ECW when we would put you through flaming tables...
4)Triple H: Give me a damn minute...I'm trying to outshine Flair damn it.
5)Shane: Shane Douglas here backstage at TNA with The American Dream Dusty Rhodes and Dream many are speculating that...Dream...Dream...DREAM
Dusty: Huh what...I was catching a nap there if you will.
6)Cena: How about you ditch the zero and get with the hero. I'll be at the Days INN Baby.
7)Jarrett: NOW HOLD ON A DAMN MINUTE. I'M THE NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION. Who said you could try and get over on my watch.
8)Kane: Wow...a fake gold belt and a whore all in the same night. It cant get any better then this.
9)Rock: The Rock says this...you better not get comfortable cause the rock will come back when his film schedule allows to smack the lips off your space.
10)Funaki and Spike look under the water Funaki: No wonder he employed so a long. Spike: And I thought Dupree had an huge wang.
11)D-LO: YEAH...I'M GONNA JOB TO HIM...CAUSE YOU BETTER RECOGNIZE.
"If you want sumpin' a little stronger, homes, you gotta sip on some Mexican water. It's a little cloudy, and has an odd smell that makes you think it's not really for human consumption. But HOOOOOOOOOOOO-EEEEEEY! What a kick! Arriba~!"-LOP Board Member Uncle Eddy
Here at The Kurt Angle School of Professional Wrestling, we teach you how to take safe bumps, protecting your neck at all times... 2)
Cole: Wait just a minute, Booker. I've just read over the current booking plans, and... heh, heh, guess who's set to start feuding with Billy Gunn? 3)
Bubba: Jump to SmackDown, you said. You'll have some fun, win the titles... What could possibly go wrong, you said.... 4)
HHH: Hey, Naitch. Just between you and me. You know how, sometimes, when you go swimming in cold water... Flair: It happens to everyone, champ. 5)
Douglas: Dick Flair, you think you're really something, just because you've captured the title hundreds of times and have the respect of your peers? Well I'm here to tell you that THIS GUY HERE thinks otherwise. Isn't that right, Dusty? Rhodes: Zzzzzzz.... 6)
Cena: What do you mean, do I want to substitute for Rico? 7)
Everyone, thank you for coming to the taping. Now please leave! We don't return the keys on time, it's another $50 outta my own pocket. Hey, you up there in the nosebleed section -- SCRAM! 8)
Kane: I'm telling you, Lita. I've been given my share of bad angles in the past, but this one is gonna be different.... 9)
Rock: You do SO fear Jeb! 10)
Torrie: So I was just talking to Hunter, he says it happens all the time... 11)
Ma'am, can you please get your kid off the stage? I know he wants to be a wrestler and everything, but we're trying to put a TV taping on here. If he gets hurt, Jeff's not getting his $50 deposit back!
Kurt Angle helps to train Batista as he prepares to go for the gold in the new Olympic sport of Jabroni Toss. Athens, here we come!2)
Cole: Coming up next, new WWE champion John Bradshaw Layfield! Booker: Tell me you did not just say that...no, really, please...I'm serious, man.3)
Bubba: D-von, please, stop making that face while you look at Spike's abs. That is so not appropriate. He's supposed to be you brother.4)
With Steph working on Smackdown, a desperate Trip gropes the first pair of breasts he comes across.5)
Shane: And I'd like to introduce Dusty Rhodes, fresh from his recent make-over on Bravo's Queer Eye for the Straight Guy!6)
Oooooooh, say can you see...7)
It's my belt! Mine! You can't have it, Daddy said so! So there! NYAH!8)
Kane: Oh crap, this story just got really weird. According to this test in my hand, -I'm- pregnant, too!!!9)
No, the Rock does NOT want to hear about the Book of Mormon! Now, get your missionary ass outta here, Brigham Young!10)
While Torrie berates her husband yet again, Spike and Funaki's eyes meet across the water, and love blossoms anew.11) D'lo: That's five hundred dollars, do I hear six? Six hundred dollars to have A.J. Styles wrestle at your Bar Mitzvah! C'mon, folks, let's get the bidding goin' here!
(edited by Kawshen on 3.7.04 0230)
"All I ever asked for in life is an unfair advantage." Microchip, Punisher Annual #2
See kids? Don't do drugs, or Mr.Batista will pay you a visit.
Booker: "And here I thought that I'd be a main event playa on Smackdown." Tazz: "HA!" Cole: "Yeah, they all think that until they feud with Taker..."
Bubba: "Spike, Spike, Spike. You're going to have to stop working out, tanning, and being shirtless. You're making us look out of shape." Spike: "But you guys wear shirts!"
HHH: "Keep this on the downlow, will ya Ric? This one chick on this messageboard said I was ugly, so I posted my picture on HotorNot to prove her wrong. I'm still hot!" Flair (thinking): "Good thing I voted. Poor guy needs his ego."
Dusty supresses his laughter as Shane cries conspiracy against him courtesy of the Kliq....again.
Cena: "Seriously, stop with the patriotic thing. No more cute red, white and blue outfits for you Jackie, and stop with the claims of being an All-American, Charlie. "Proud to be American" is my deal, dammit!"
Poor Kane. Doesn't he know not to get his hopes up about his angles already? You'd think he would have learned after necrophilia....
Rock: "Seriously, stop ripping off the Rock. It was cute at first with the whole third generation star thing, but I draw the line at calling yourself 'the most vibrant man in sports entertainment'."
Spike and Funaki hoped that since Kidman is still in the company because of Torrie, if they got close to Torrie, they'd keep their jobs too!
Originally posted by KawshenAs we approach the Independence Day Holiday (and we leave an embarrassingly bad PPV) - it's time for another robust game of Captionomics!
Now this is a groundbreaking edition of Captionomics b/c not only do I bear new clearer screencaps, but I also debut TNA screencaps!!!
So without further ado, time to drop some captionomics.
1. "This is the only way the Athens Olympics could ever draw ratings"2)
2. Booker T: "Now what? The third banana on a second teir show? I don't dig that, suckaaaaaa"3)
3. Bubba: "Spike...where we come from, we keep it in the family. Just remember that." Spike: "We're not from Alabama, man."4)
4. Triple H: "Man, from Shelton to Eugene...where's the justice?"5)
5. Dusty and Shane share a quiet moment as they realize they'll never draw crowds again.6)
6. Smackdown's finest...oh yeah...and Jackie, talk about how they can maybe make SD great again.7)
7. Jeff: "I am the Triple H of NWA!"8)
8. Lita ponders where her career will land after she gives birth Kanes' ...er... hand.9)
9. The Rock: "I was Rocky before the fans turned on me, and became THE ROCK. You were Randy before the fans turned on YOU, and you're still Randy. You should follow the Rock! Change your name and get the enthusiasm THE RAND really has! No more Randy...it's THE RAND!" 10)
10: Torrie Wilson shows us how her own personal life preservers work.11)
D'LO points to a man who deserves everyone's prayers as his family works through a death in the family.
Angle: "Welcome to another episode of 'When roid rages turn bad. My name is Kurt Angle" 2)
Booker: "Yo Cole..does Tazz always keep his right hand down...there?" Cole: "Yes..why do you think I wanna sit on this side?!" 3)
Bubba: "So Spike..you say Vince said you'll get a serious push this time? D-Von, what was that beach property in Idaho you had for sale worth again?" 4)
HHH: "This is between you and me Ric, but I think I've been gaining some pounds the last months..don't tell anyone though!" Flair: "Don't worry..nobody will notice!" 5)
Shane: "Now you expect something interesting here but lemme just rant on and on and on and on and on and on and on" Dusty: "Disis so borin..he shouldabe talkin abouda bulladawoods, and abouda bein a plummah's boy!" 6)
Cena: "Oh, I know..and then I'll make a joke about poop in your bra! People will love it!" Jackie: "damn, and I thought I was stupid" Haas: "Wait a minute..and HE gets a push?"
JJ: "It's mine I tell you! My precious! Paid for with the money from the housekeeping match!" 8)
Kane's happy he moved up the chick ladder. From a dead chick to Lita is an improvement. Ofcourse the dead chick was a better actress but heh...can't win em all. 9)
Rock: "So this rapper kid yells 'you cant see me' and waves his hand like this!" 10)
Kidman: "Honey, this is not what I had in mind when we were watching the Divas DVD and I said you should bring some friends over for a nice foursome.." 11)
D-Lo tries to recall the days when he didn't need to hang out with people or wear gimmick items to be over,but comes up short..so he points to AJ.
"Oh! His form was great, but that dismount and landing's going to cost him the bronze medal! Too bad for the poor competitor, things were looking so promising for him... wait, I've been informed that he may have suffered a neck injury. Oh, fer cryin' out loud... WALK IT OFF, KID!" 2)
The dead air is deafening as Booker T, Michael Cole, and Tazz ponder why JBL was booked to become WWE Champion. 3)
"Spike... have you ever heard of a little club we belong to called NAMBLA?" 4)
"Hang on, Naitch, let's make sure Foley's not around before you start talking about your book again." 5)
"Aw, Jesus, man!! Dusty just let a fat, nasty one rip!! Cut the camera!" 6)
"Word life, this is US Champ John Cena, with Charlie Hass here, too. And next to me's Miss Jackie, in the red, white, and boobs, er, uh, I mean, blue..." 7)
While at Universal Studios for TNA's weekly taping, Jeff Jarrett looks up at the Dueling Dragons roller coaster... and becomes very afraid. 8)
"So I get to be World Heavyweight Champion, but Lita has to be my manager, huh? Gee, will you look at the time? I really need to get out of here, I've got a job interview with TNA..." 9)
"And God damn it, Randy Orton, if you keep up with that crap about being the longest-reigning IC Champion in the past seven years, the Rock will kick your ass so hard that when you finally regain consciousness, your damn grandson will be IC Champ!" 10)
"Honestly, Billy, if I was satisfied with you, do you really think I'd be inviting Spike and Funaki to join me in the hot tub (and bed)?" 11)
"Who the hell booked this little kid in the stupid red outfit to win a title over me?"
Edit: typos and profanity - bloody Google...
(edited by RageRockrr on 4.7.04 1200)
(edited by RageRockrr on 4.7.04 1201) THE CONSPIRACY FAILS - Randomly Selected Wiener, er, I guess, "W" of the Day, August 13, 2002
THE W.COM - GET THE "IENERBOARD" OUT!!!
See what other folks have to say about me: "Rage, you are awesome." - Parts Unknown, April 10, 2004. "Big Props to RageRockrr: '+ Oh, and three simple words: Optimus. Fucking. Prime.' You're DAMN right!" - Bizzle Izzle, August 7, 2002. "Thank you for bringing back a DEEP 80s memory, Rage. THANK YOU." - DMC, June 6, 2002. "Thanks RageRockrr! You're the coolest!" - Excalibur05, March 10, 2002.
"With the installation of the new WWE Sandbox, it's time for Evolution to play...the...game. Lots of games, actually!" 2)
Booker T can't believe that his attorneys just advised him to plead guilty. 3)
"Spike, it sure looks to me like you're trying to grow a goatee. Now, I know you want to be like your big brothers, but do you think we can have all three of us running around in goatees? How would that make us look?" 5)
"Folks, do NOT be dissuaded by seeing the two of us on your screen. There ARE people on this show who can work! Really! I promise!" 6)
"Look, Jackie, I know we had to rip up your top to make the plate for this belt. But it's not as if anyone hasn't seen all of this before." 8)
Lita keeps smiling despite the unexpected difficulty of teaching Kane the "YMCA" dance.
Angle: Sure, this might look painful. But have you stopped to consider that 6.4 million people feel like this every day? Hi, I'm WWE superstar Kurt Angle - and today I'd like to talk to you about Angina.
Tazz: Hey Bookah, Cole here didn't want me to tell you this, but he's been doin' ya wife.
Quoth the Warrior: "thinking is hard, yes." Maybe more so for some than others judging by his columns. Much as we may insult the big oafs intelligence though the Warrior Wisdom title shows he clearly knows a good oxymoron when he sees one.