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25.5.18 1739
The W - Random - Animal Faceoff, or "The Guilt-Free Cockfight" (SPOILERS)
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Lap cheong

Since: 2.1.02
From: Worcester MA

Since last post: 49 days
Last activity: 3 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.04
So, the Discovery Channel decided that the world really needed to know who would win in a fight between a shark and a crocodile, so they called in some "experts" to feed all the scientific data into a computer and spit out the results: Apparently, the croc's inability to breathe perpetually underwater came back to (pardon the pun) bite it in the ass, as it had to release a potential game-winning death grip on the shark to surface for air, and that's when the great white came up from underneath - hey, just like the Jaws poster! - and delivered the finishing chomp into the crocodile's soft underbelly. Ring the bell, this match is over.

Overall, the show was nothing spectacular (an hour of building robots and National Geographic stock footage for about two minutes of actual "action"), but at least we got the cool visual of a CGI croc and a CGI shark biting each other's faces off ... Still, I'm not quite sure exactly how we're supposed to believe that a computer could determine the outcome of such an encounter, just by feeding a bunch of numbers and equations into it. Unless, of course, it works like one of those pro wrestling simulators:

At 0:15 of the match, Crocodile goes into a death roll and rips off Shark's right fin

"Rhino versus elephant" was show immediately afterwards, but I didn't stick around for that ... This could be a cool idea for a continuing series, though. Maybe we can finally know, once and for all, if a Rottweiler could take on a Rottweiler's weight in chihuahuas!

Flawless victory ... Finish him!

(edited by Alessandro on 22.3.04 0829)

Alessandro "Hercules" Boondy

Just so you guys know: 75% of this crap [you read on the internet] is made up, either by the writer, or the wrestler the writer is getting the dirt from. Just so you know. -- Statement by "Tammy Sytch", from Hyatte's Dec. 29th column ... Lest we forget.

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Lap cheong

Since: 7.2.02
From: New York, NY

Since last post: 4718 days
Last activity: 4498 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.00
I caught Rhino vs. Elephant and it was pretty bad.

Adult Swim's Flying Croc vs. Flying Shark is shaping up to be much better.

Are you a professional halfwit or talented amateur?
Nate The Snake

Since: 9.1.02
From: Wichita, Ks

Since last post: 5059 days
Last activity: 4528 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.84
Cartilage, eh? Interesting...

Kansas-born and deeply ashamed
The last living La Parka Marka

"They that can give up essential liberty to gain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - Benjamin Franklin
Boudin rouge

Since: 1.5.03
From: California, Home of THE LAKERS!

Since last post: 529 days
Last activity: 93 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.77

I think that the shark probably would have really torn up the croc's bottom jaw and tongue during the head to head, doing enough damage to make the croc quit right then. I love crocs and their kin, but the shark had it all along. Most any other animal and yeah, the croc takes it.


Since: 7.2.04
From: Canada

Since last post: 4494 days
Last activity: 4494 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.98
"Okay! Who would win a fight between....?"

When did the Discovery Channel start taking programming directions from me in grade four?

So sayeth Randy Stilton, the real Stinky Cheese Man!

Since: 22.4.02
From: Outside of Boston

Since last post: 40 days
Last activity: 16 hours
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.67
You wanted the best, you got... Out of Context Quote of the Week.

"This coming from the man with the YOU EAT COCK in his signature." (StaggerLee)

    Originally posted by evilwaldo
    Adult Swim's Flying Croc vs. Flying Shark is shaping up to be much better.

Ah yes, but in a battle where there can be no winners, who will emerge victorious?

Also... sock puppets? BOO.

DEAN's Nuggets of Wisdom:

"A-Train could wear a Vampirella outfit and I would toast a load to it."
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