I know this has already been thoroughly discussed but I have a question about age gap. I'm 19 and I'm currently dating a 16 year old. 3 years gap. I am currently in my 2nd year at college and she is a sophmore in highschool.
My parents have a big issue with this and last night they got pretty animated about it. My dad thinks there is something wrong with me because I typically socialize with younger people. He says he's usually okay with whoever I date which is warped. I've only dated 3 ppl in the past 5 years and I never dated them longer then 2 weeks. So to say he usually does anything when I date a girl is incorrect since he only met one of them.
They wont give me a chance, they think I'm in the wrong for following my feelings. My parents are afraid I'll ruin both our lives because they had me at a young age, but they wont acccept the fact that I dont do those kinda "things". They CAN'T accept the fact that I might be saving something for later. I am not using the girl I respect her tremeandously and she's the best thing since sliced bread. What do I do or say to my parents to let them know that its okay and nothing bad will happen from us dating..? -kjwx93-
P.S.. it is legal right now. in our state you need to be 14 to date under 21.. and 17 to date older then 21. I'm just concerned with my parents. I prefer their "permission" even though im 19
Didn't go particularly well. While she was remarkably intelligent and fun to talk to, she has daddy issues, which lead her to older men.
She wanted to be free, so I let her go.
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Originally posted by DJ FrostyFreezeWhat is the age of consent in your state?
This is the most important question. Don't do anything that causes you to be traded around for a pack of cigarettes for 5-10 years. Outside of that, I'd have no issues with it. Then again, I dated a 43 year old when I was 20 and a 19 year old when I was 27.
Ok, so Ted Williams is decapitated now? What will his son do next, sell him to the Japanese dog food company that bought former Kentucky Derby winner Ferdinand?
Most states have clauses in age-of-consent laws that exempt anything that's a three year difference or less. But the laws can be confusing, so look into it.
I agree that a 3 year age difference is nothing. I myself have been involved in a lot worse, and I'm a loser who never has a girlfriend.
But how to make your parents see it that way? Without knowing your parents, it's very hard to say. All I can tell you is to try to address their specific concerns. For example, you said that they were concerned that you usually socialize with younger people, so maybe you can make an effort to make friends (or, if you've already done that, to let your parents see that you have) with those in your class and older at your college. That sort of thing.
OK, a fling, or quick stup at such age gaps as 55-19 or 48-20 or whatever can be fun and harmless. Actually "dating" at such age gaps - as in, "hey dad, I'd like you to meet my 48-year-old girlfriend," is really sleezy at best.
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Originally posted by MoeGatesOK, a fling, or quick stup at such age gaps as 55-19 or 48-20 or whatever can be fun and harmless. Actually "dating" at such age gaps - as in, "hey dad, I'd like you to meet my 48-year-old girlfriend," is really sleezy at best.
Really? I think my dad would be impressed if he met her! At least he would be to me, and then he would go to my brother behind my back and be all "What's wrong with him?!? First guys, and now this!!!"
Ah well... I wouldn't really say I've ever actually dated her anyway. It's more like a... mentor/student thing I guess. Oh!!! And she gave me this painting the other day. I was all happy... ... now I have to give her something. *Shrugs* I'll probably just burn her a CD of my music or something...
I always used to sort of rate dating by grades in high school (keep in mind I went to school in the Ontario Grade 9-13 system).
Same grade...no problem. Girl is one grade lower....no problem. Two grades lower...friends will make cradle-robber jokes, but okay. Three grades lower...Starting to get a bit dicey, and into the actual area where your generation gap might show. Four grades lower, namely a senior dating a freshman....good God, no.
That being said, if a freshman guy managed to date a senior girl, he'd be hailed as a god.
Now that I'm a bit older, however, I don't really care all that much. Frankly, I have enough troubles dating a 21-year-old at age 21, so if some older guy can do it, more power to him.
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It all completely depends on the people involved. My wife and I (married 3+ years) have a 7-year age difference and we do just fine thank you. It was really hard with the dating scene due to societal and familial pressures, but I certainly felt she was worth it.
The "14 to date under 21 and 17 to date over 21" rule seems confusing to me. Is that a state law for dating? Marriage? Sex without it being jailbait?
Are you living with your parents? If so, you may want to abide by the house rules concerning stayovers and other responsibilities. And draw up some boundaries so trust can be built up from all parties, especially her parents.