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The W - Random - Age Gap Dating
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Since: 24.8.03
From: st.louis, missouri

Since last post: 5383 days
Last activity: 5378 days
#1 Posted on
I know this has already been thoroughly discussed but I have a question about age gap. I'm 19 and I'm currently dating a 16 year old. 3 years gap. I am currently in my 2nd year at college and she is a sophmore in highschool.

My parents have a big issue with this and last night they got pretty animated about it. My dad thinks there is something wrong with me because I typically socialize with younger people. He says he's usually okay with whoever I date which is warped. I've only dated 3 ppl in the past 5 years and I never dated them longer then 2 weeks. So to say he usually does anything when I date a girl is incorrect since he only met one of them.

They wont give me a chance, they think I'm in the wrong for following my feelings. My parents are afraid I'll ruin both our lives because they had me at a young age, but they wont acccept the fact that I dont do those kinda "things". They CAN'T accept the fact that I might be saving something for later. I am not using the girl I respect her tremeandously and she's the best thing since sliced bread. What do I do or say to my parents to let them know that its okay and nothing bad will happen from us dating..?

P.S.. it is legal right now. in our state you need to be 14 to date under 21.. and 17 to date older then 21. I'm just concerned with my parents. I prefer their "permission" even though im 19

(edited by kjwx93 on 24.8.03 1736)
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Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 5270 days
Last activity: 3200 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 10.00
Meh... I tend not to worry about such issues.

But then, it's best not to ask me since a couple weeks ago, I went out on a hot date with someone who was 55, while I being 19. I think that might have been pushing it a little, but I didn't care.

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Mild Mannered Madman

Since: 1.3.02
From: Westminster, CA

Since last post: 1775 days
Last activity: 1493 days
#3 Posted on
The last girl I dated was 18. (I'm 29)

Didn't go particularly well. While she was remarkably intelligent and fun to talk to, she has daddy issues, which lead her to older men.

She wanted to be free, so I let her go.

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
- The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

Since: 2.1.02
From: nWo Country

Since last post: 3292 days
Last activity: 3226 days
#4 Posted on
Christ, a three-year gap is nothing my friend. An ex of mine dated a 48 year old when she was sixteen. You do what you want to.

I Took The Father, I'll Take The Son

DJ FrostyFreeze

Since: 2.1.02
From: Hawthorne, CA

Since last post: 126 days
Last activity: 1 day
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.95
It was bound to happen sooner or later

What is the age of consent in your state?

How long have you been dating this girl?

What do her parents have to say about all this?

It doesnt look good for our hero

Since: 24.7.02

Since last post: 1784 days
Last activity: 1784 days
#6 Posted on

    Originally posted by DJ FrostyFreeze
    What is the age of consent in your state?

      This is the most important question. Don't do anything that causes you to be traded around for a pack of cigarettes for 5-10 years.
      Outside of that, I'd have no issues with it. Then again, I dated a 43 year old when I was 20 and a 19 year old when I was 27.

      Ok, so Ted Williams is decapitated now? What will his son do next, sell him to the Japanese dog food company that bought former Kentucky Derby winner Ferdinand?
Lap cheong

Since: 24.2.02

Since last post: 327 days
Last activity: 2 days
#7 Posted on
Just remember, that it'll inevitably go sour. The teenaged years are wrought with change, so don't be surprised by any unexpected misfortunes.
Peter The Hegemon
Lap cheong

Since: 11.2.03
From: Hackettstown, NJ

Since last post: 76 days
Last activity: 7 hours
#8 Posted on
Most states have clauses in age-of-consent laws that exempt anything that's a three year difference or less. But the laws can be confusing, so look into it.

I agree that a 3 year age difference is nothing. I myself have been involved in a lot worse, and I'm a loser who never has a girlfriend.

But how to make your parents see it that way? Without knowing your parents, it's very hard to say. All I can tell you is to try to address their specific concerns. For example, you said that they were concerned that you usually socialize with younger people, so maybe you can make an effort to make friends (or, if you've already done that, to let your parents see that you have) with those in your class and older at your college. That sort of thing.

(edited by Peter The Hegemon on 25.8.03 1527)
Boudin blanc

Since: 6.1.02
From: Brooklyn, NY

Since last post: 53 days
Last activity: 18 hours
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.28
OK, a fling, or quick stup at such age gaps as 55-19 or 48-20 or whatever can be fun and harmless. Actually "dating" at such age gaps - as in, "hey dad, I'd like you to meet my 48-year-old girlfriend," is really sleezy at best.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think I was going to talk about 'man on dog' with a United States Senator. It's sort of freaking me out."

Associated Press interview with Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA), 04-07-2003.

Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 5270 days
Last activity: 3200 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 10.00

    Originally posted by MoeGates
    OK, a fling, or quick stup at such age gaps as 55-19 or 48-20 or whatever can be fun and harmless. Actually "dating" at such age gaps - as in, "hey dad, I'd like you to meet my 48-year-old girlfriend," is really sleezy at best.

Really? I think my dad would be impressed if he met her! At least he would be to me, and then he would go to my brother behind my back and be all "What's wrong with him?!? First guys, and now this!!!"

Ah well... I wouldn't really say I've ever actually dated her anyway. It's more like a... mentor/student thing I guess. Oh!!! And she gave me this painting the other day. I was all happy... ... now I have to give her something. *Shrugs* I'll probably just burn her a CD of my music or something...

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Big Bad

Since: 4.1.02
From: Dorchester, Ontario

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 1 day
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.54
I always used to sort of rate dating by grades in high school (keep in mind I went to school in the Ontario Grade 9-13 system).

Same problem.
Girl is one grade problem.
Two grades lower...friends will make cradle-robber jokes, but okay.
Three grades lower...Starting to get a bit dicey, and into the actual area where your generation gap might show.
Four grades lower, namely a senior dating a freshman....good God, no.

That being said, if a freshman guy managed to date a senior girl, he'd be hailed as a god.

Now that I'm a bit older, however, I don't really care all that much. Frankly, I have enough troubles dating a 21-year-old at age 21, so if some older guy can do it, more power to him.

"When this bogus term alternative rock was being thrown at every '70s retro rehash folk group, we were challenging people to new sonic ideas. If some little snotty anarchist with an Apple Mac and an attitude thinks he invented dance music and the big rock group is coming into his territory, [that's] ridiculous." - Bono, 1997

Since: 12.2.02
From: Cleveland, Ohio

Since last post: 40 days
Last activity: 7 hours
#12 Posted on
It all completely depends on the people involved. My wife and I (married 3+ years) have a 7-year age difference and we do just fine thank you. It was really hard with the dating scene due to societal and familial pressures, but I certainly felt she was worth it.

I drove the Hummer. Sorry 'bout that.

Since: 1.3.02
From: Silicon Valley, California

Since last post: 4849 days
Last activity: 4443 days
#13 Posted on
The "14 to date under 21 and 17 to date over 21" rule
seems confusing to me. Is that a state law for dating?
Marriage? Sex without it being jailbait?

Are you living with your parents? If so, you may want
to abide by the house rules concerning stayovers and
other responsibilities. And draw up some boundaries
so trust can be built up from all parties, especially
her parents.

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Since: 22.1.02
From: Texas

Since last post: 2735 days
Last activity: 1643 days
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.95
Then there's always the "half of your age, plus seven" rule.

But those can be sooooo conveniently tossed aside.

-- Asteroid Boy

Wiener of the day: 23.7.02

"My brother saw the Undertaker walking through an airport." - Rex
"Was he no-selling?" - Me

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