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20.11.14 2006
The W - Guest Columns - SmackDown Booking Sheet
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oldschoolhero
Knackwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: nWo Country

Since last post: 2015 days
Last activity: 1949 days
#1 Posted on
The SmackDown Booking Sheet

Continuing the run of columns, this is my first stab at booking SmackDown to the tastes of EVERYONE, rather than just the bookers and their buddies. Bear it in mind. Also note: This is written without reading the ACTUAL SmackDown spoilers. On with the show...

SmackDown!-1/5/03

-After a high-speed recap of the SmackDown-related happenings at Backlash, the evening kicks off good and proper with The Big Show heading out for...an interview? As unusual as it may seem, the big man seems set on talking for the benefit of the audience, and with no-one around to stop him he does so. He warned Rey Mysterio before the match, and he showed him afterward: The Big Show is not to be screwed around with. He is a two-time WWE Champion. He is the biggest athlete in the history of the business. And he is one mean son-of-a-bitch. That’s why tonight, after his display of strength at Backlash, he’s been signed to one of the biggest bouts of his career. Tonight, he gets his long-awaited WWE Title match against Brock Lesnar. He’s beaten Brock before, and he’ll do it again. And just to send a message to “The Next Big Thing”, let’s roll some footage. Show calls for the post-match beatdown of Rey-Rey to be shown, and his request is granted; but, of course, he wants it one more time. Just as the footage starts up once more, however, the unexpected sound of Rey Mysterio’s music rings through the arena. The man himself hobbles out, perched on crutches, and slowly walks to the ring as Show looks on in astonishment. Mysterio climbs into the ring and takes his own mic, then turns to the man responsible for his injuries. he promises Show that what he did last night was simply the beginning, and by the time everything is said and done he’ll be ruing the day that he pushed around “The little guy”. Show ponders this-and shoves Mysterio down, causing massive boos from the live crowd. Laughing hysterically as Mysterio tries to stand, Show turns back to the entrance ramp to leave-and Rey Rey springs to his feet, crutch in hand! He smashes Show in the back twice and catches him in the head as the big man flees in shock, and the audience whoop with delight as Show leaves, his face once again twisted in a look of utter humiliation...

-The first match gets underway following the commercials-but it’s not likely to set the world on fire; Torrie ekes out a win over her Playboy rival Sable with a quick neckbreaker at the three-minute mark. The displeased Sable soon has her minions Nidia and Dawn Marie swarming over the winner, but the surprise save is made by none other than Lita, who bounds down to the ring and clears the heels out. She helps Torrie to her feet and supports her up the aisle to a standing ovation...

-Backstage cameras find still more excitement; infuriated at the embarrassment suffered at the start of the night, Show is tearing through locker rooms, desperately seeking out Mysterio for retribution. After slamming a helpless Funaki against the wall he learns that the diminutive Mexican has left; enraged, he hurls the Japanese superstar across the room, leaving him dazed and confused...

-In a bout more likely to appeal to the more discerning wrestling fan, the Full-Blooded Italian team of Chuck Palumbo and Jonny Stamboli get a cheap win over Chris Benoit and Rhyno in about eight minutes. The intense face team throw their opponents around with ease in the early going, but the presence of Nunzio at ringside allows Jonny to score with a springboard clothesline on Benoit to take the advantage. All Hell breaks loose when Rhyno finally gets the tag, but Nunzio-in a rare act of bravery-opts to take a Gore for the team, allowing Palumbo to score with the match-winning superkick...

-Matt Hardy keeps up his winning ways in match three, seeing off the cruiserweight challenge of Tajiri to retain his title in just under six minutes. The fast and furious match sees Tajiri score several near-falls off of kick combos and a superb tornado DDT, but a mistimed Tarantula is turned into a whiplash-like slam by the champion, and a quick twist Of Fate seals the deal. Elated at his success, matt insists that MFers Shannon Moore and Crash carry him atop their shoulders to the back...

-In the first big-time segment of the night, Rowdy Piper welcomes out not one, but TWO guests to Piper’s Pit: His powerful protege Sean O’Haire, and “the man who was screwed out of the WWE Championship just three days ago”, John Cena. Piper congratulates O’Haire on his “totally fair” win over Rikishi, and promises the big Samoan that his coconut attack will not go unavenged. Turning his attention to Cena, Piper shakes his hand and immediately begins sucking up to him, saying he’s “almost got the potential of young Roddy Piper”. Cena agrees and promises that last night was imply a blip in the meteoric rise of The Man Called Cena, and Lesnar hasn’t heard the last of him-all in rap form, of course. Piper proclaims the two men the future of the WWE, and promises that men like them will soon be over-running the “washed up, overtanned old farts that don’t know when to quit-no names mentioned, of course”. No sooner than those words have left his mouth, a strangely familiar music begins strumming from the PA system. The crowd rises as one as “Real American” fires up, and the red, white and blue-clad Mr. America strides to the ring! Enraged at the interruption by the masked man, Piper demands an explanation-but is met with a big right hand. Piper hits the deck and rolls to safety, and Cena shoves O’Haire into the newcomer before bailing himself. The rookie monster tries his damnedest, but a suspiciously familiar combination of a big boot and legdrop puts him out of his misery. The crowd roars with appreciation as Cena, Piper and O’Haire back up the ramp, and although the announcers feign ignorance it’s pretty clear who the audience think is under Mr. America’s hood...

-The “Uncrowned tag Team Champions” Los Guerreros-complete with shiny new title belts- grace us after the break, with Eddie getting a clean win over A-Train in five minutes. Chavo keeps watch on the aisle for Team Angle as Eddie utilises a good ol’ low blow on the big man, and a brainbuster/frog splash later, Eddie gets the three count. The Guerreros celebrate-then flee into the audience as Team Angle arrive on the scene, taunting them with their stolen tag team title belts...

-Backstage for some more shenanigans, and a sweaty Matt Hardy finally allows his even sweatier MFers to put him down outside his locker room. He gives them a hearty backslap, then tells Shannon to take Crash and prepare him for his match next. The two lackeys exit and Matt turns to enter his room-but stops when he spies Lita walking up the corridor. Matt greets her with a “Mattitude Salute” and promises that now they’re reunited she’ll be ten times as successful as before, but Lita just rolls her eyes and says she’s got business to attend to...

-....which, much to Matt’s anger turns out to be accompanying Brian Kendrick to the ring for his victory over Crash. Lita’s presence proves crucial, deflecting Shannon Moore’s interference for long enough to allow Kendrick to grab a win with Sliced Bread #2. Lita raises her new charge’s hand triumphantly, and we cut backstage to see Matt seething at the events taking place...


-And, in the main event of the evening, Brock Lesnar retains his WWE Championship with a massive victory over The Big Show. The two behemoths seem equally matched as the bout progresses, with Lesnar slightly in the advantage thanks to his high impact suplexes. But Show turns things around at about the six-minute mark with a huge press slam, hurling the champ OVER the top rope and to the floor. Show goes to follow-and Mysterio’s music hits once again! The little man flies from the stage, clad in mask and Mysterio shirt, and leaps into the ring. Lesnar climbs back inside as Show easily chokeslams Mysterio-but to his shock a SECOND Rey Mysterio appears from the audience! He climbs onto the apron and Show swings for him, but the little man is too quick. Show turns back to the ring-and walks straight into a picture-perfect F5 for the pinfall. The second Mysterio helps the groggy first up the ramp-who pulls off his mask to reveal Funaki! Lesnar exits too, laughing hysterically as the enraged Show pulls himself to his feet in the ring...

More to come next week. Opinions, peeps? What do you think works? What doesn’t?





Hail To The King, Baby

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tomvejada
Andouille








Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 4102 days
Last activity: 4102 days
#2 Posted on
I like your columns, OldSchool.

Keep up the good work.



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RVD: Don’t you guys wear your ring gear wherever you go? I keep everything in my singlet! I hope he keeps a running gag in there.
- Notorious F.A.B., WWE RAW Satire Presents Funforgiven (2003)
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