The W
Views: 134055642
Main | FAQ | Search: Y! / G | Calendar | Color chart | Log in for more!
20.6.18 0456
The W - Pro Wrestling - An Open Letter to Jonathan Coachman
This thread has 24 referrals leading to it
Register and log in to post!
Pages: 1(10673 newer) Next thread | Previous thread
Post (6 total)

Since: 19.5.02
From: Toronto

Since last post: 36 days
Last activity: 6 days
#1 Posted on
Mr. Coachman

Thank you. For your stellar interviews. For your sparkling personality. Your tremendous fashion sense. And mostly, for your Girls Gone Wild hosting duties.

A great deal of people have criticized you for your commentating. I've heard things like "too dull", "doesn't know the names of the moves" and "dumbass". And perhaps some of the criticism is justified. However, I know when you are on the screen with that microphone, I'm not only going to be entertain, I'm most likely have to put up with Lita's hick accent.

Every Sunday night, when you get behind that desk and call classic matches like Steven Richards vs. Spike Dudley or Steven Richards vs. Maven or even Maven vs. Spike Dudley, you make them sound like we're not just seeing a match. We're seeing an event. I thought there might be some trouble when you lost your first broadcast partner D-Lo Brown (wonder what ever happened to him?). However, you've handled the change to Lita quite well, especially since you haven't socked her for yelling along with Steven Richards before he suplexes someone.

But the great thing about you is your perfomances on RAW. You are secure enough to let the spotlight shine on others. We all know who the real talent is when the Rock talks about you sticking microphones up cows' asses and Booker makes you do bad spinaroonis. You have become role-model for other, younger commentators, like Josh Matthews and what's-his-face who does Velocity. I hope you don't turn out like Jim Ross, who constantly holds down young talent, like Michael Cole and Ernest Miller. And don't think I know Triple H has something to do with that too. Must be jealous of his hair.

Anyway, this is just one lone voice out there, but here's hoping you break through the glass ceiling and get your big shot one day of no-selling Jerry Lawler's puppy and racial jokes. The day when Ross got fired and you had to call RAW was one you handled with your usual poise. I think you may have even called a DDT properly, which automatically put you ahead of Tony "Sidewalk Slam" Schiavone and Vince "WHATAMANUVER" McMahon. You, like other young talent, deserve to have the spotlight on you, so we can usher in a new era of RAW. I can just imagine you calling a huge main event, like Diesel vs. Goldberg, with Lita by your side. I mean Kevin Nash vs. Bill Goldberg, with Lita and the Coach calling the action! Is there ANYTHING better?

I know you might never read these words. I mean, I bet right now, you're looking over tapes, learning the names of different moves like "Space Tiger Drop" and "Armbar". You're probably practicing your witty banter in the mirror right now! But if you do read this, please know that you do have a huge fan and one that knows you didn't have to suck up to Vince to get where you are right now, like some barbecue selling, hoss lovin, Restol hat wearing, "Business is about to pick up", no talent hick that we ALL know.

I salute you, Mr. Coachman. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to watch WM 18, just for your stellar work with the Rock. Heh. "What up J.". Too funny.


(Sorry, I'm bored at work).

(edited by DirtyMikeSeaver on 6.4.03 1642)

By the way, Storm's gimmick includes 1.) telling the audience to shut up, and 2.) occasionally making everyone stand for the Canadian national anthem. You know they don't know what to do with a wrestler when he's making fans stand for a national anthem. It's like waving a white flag and saying, "This guy has no personality -- we give up."

ESPN's Bill Simmons
Promote this thread!
Boudin rouge

Since: 22.3.02
From: Weymouth, Ma

Since last post: 1070 days
Last activity: 944 days
#2 Posted on
Something about this disturbs me. Amusing yes, but quite disturbing at the same time.


Since: 19.1.02
From: Minnesota

Since last post: 807 days
Last activity: 675 days
#3 Posted on
Needs more Howler Monkey.

Satire 03/31/03 ( <- No kidding, right?
Buffy 7.17 gets a 7.87 So...Spike and Wood have Oedipus complexes...riiiiight...
Boudin rouge

Since: 22.3.02
From: Weymouth, Ma

Since last post: 1070 days
Last activity: 944 days
#4 Posted on

    Originally posted by Excalibur05
    Needs more Howler Monkey.

I would just LOVE to see an open letter to The Howler Monkey!


Since: 18.3.03
From: Honolulu, HI

Since last post: 139 days
Last activity: 3 days
#5 Posted on
these open letters are getting ridiculous. ..and unentertaining. :-x

it says so right here in the wcw handbook!
Lap cheong

Since: 4.4.03
From: Nitro WV

Since last post: 75 days
Last activity: 40 days
#6 Posted on
Dang you are bored dude.

Please keep the themes alive
Pages: 1Thread ahead: Let The Bloodbath Begin
Next thread: Cena Entrance Music?!
Previous thread: Horrible Gimmicks Battle Royal
(10673 newer) Next thread | Previous thread
Wait........someting over the top happened on a professional wrestling program? I'M SHOCKED! SHOCKED AND APPALLED! Repeatedly? I saw ONE powerbomb (a godawful one I might add; Eric should NEVER do that move again)
- CEOIII, iMPACT! 4-26-07 (2007)
The W - Pro Wrestling - An Open Letter to Jonathan CoachmanRegister and log in to post!

The W™ message board

©2001-2018 Brothers Zim

This old hunk of junk rendered your page in 0.52 seconds.