Thank you. For your stellar interviews. For your sparkling personality. Your tremendous fashion sense. And mostly, for your Girls Gone Wild hosting duties.
A great deal of people have criticized you for your commentating. I've heard things like "too dull", "doesn't know the names of the moves" and "dumbass". And perhaps some of the criticism is justified. However, I know when you are on the screen with that microphone, I'm not only going to be entertain, I'm most likely have to put up with Lita's hick accent.
Every Sunday night, when you get behind that desk and call classic matches like Steven Richards vs. Spike Dudley or Steven Richards vs. Maven or even Maven vs. Spike Dudley, you make them sound like we're not just seeing a match. We're seeing an event. I thought there might be some trouble when you lost your first broadcast partner D-Lo Brown (wonder what ever happened to him?). However, you've handled the change to Lita quite well, especially since you haven't socked her for yelling along with Steven Richards before he suplexes someone.
But the great thing about you is your perfomances on RAW. You are secure enough to let the spotlight shine on others. We all know who the real talent is when the Rock talks about you sticking microphones up cows' asses and Booker makes you do bad spinaroonis. You have become role-model for other, younger commentators, like Josh Matthews and what's-his-face who does Velocity. I hope you don't turn out like Jim Ross, who constantly holds down young talent, like Michael Cole and Ernest Miller. And don't think I know Triple H has something to do with that too. Must be jealous of his hair.
Anyway, this is just one lone voice out there, but here's hoping you break through the glass ceiling and get your big shot one day of no-selling Jerry Lawler's puppy and racial jokes. The day when Ross got fired and you had to call RAW was one you handled with your usual poise. I think you may have even called a DDT properly, which automatically put you ahead of Tony "Sidewalk Slam" Schiavone and Vince "WHATAMANUVER" McMahon. You, like other young talent, deserve to have the spotlight on you, so we can usher in a new era of RAW. I can just imagine you calling a huge main event, like Diesel vs. Goldberg, with Lita by your side. I mean Kevin Nash vs. Bill Goldberg, with Lita and the Coach calling the action! Is there ANYTHING better?
I know you might never read these words. I mean, I bet right now, you're looking over tapes, learning the names of different moves like "Space Tiger Drop" and "Armbar". You're probably practicing your witty banter in the mirror right now! But if you do read this, please know that you do have a huge fan and one that knows you didn't have to suck up to Vince to get where you are right now, like some barbecue selling, hoss lovin, Restol hat wearing, "Business is about to pick up", no talent hick that we ALL know.
I salute you, Mr. Coachman. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to watch WM 18, just for your stellar work with the Rock. Heh. "What up J.". Too funny.
(Sorry, I'm bored at work).
(edited by DirtyMikeSeaver on 6.4.03 1642) By the way, Storm's gimmick includes 1.) telling the audience to shut up, and 2.) occasionally making everyone stand for the Canadian national anthem. You know they don't know what to do with a wrestler when he's making fans stand for a national anthem. It's like waving a white flag and saying, "This guy has no personality -- we give up."
That never stopped them from bringing back Moolah and Mae Young. But I'm guessing that Richter isn't too keen on returning given that she was the first victim of a Bret Hart-style screwjob over her title.