Tonight's Guest? Dolly Parton. I believe her when she says she watches the show, because she just seems like the type. What are the chances that 9-to-5 is the group sing this week? Just wondering.
Brooke White Singing: "Jolene" Dolly Parton Says: She likes Brooke because she really "feels" the emotions of the performance. Performance: The performance aspect is Brooke on the guitar with the band around her, making feel kind of like they're all on Unplugged. She does a pretty nice job of it, but it's not anything special. That's part of the problem when there's been so many covers of a song. Judges Say: Her hair and voice are lovely, the performance was nothing special. I Say: Lovely white noise. Oh! Lovely "White" Noise. I should get a job writing headlines. Change: +/- 0 Score: +2
David Cook Singing: "Little Sparrow" Dolly Says: His voice is making the song sound weird, but whatever works for him is cool because he's pretty. Performance: Seacrest grills him on his "song stealing" before the performance because that's what they do on this show. Point out their flaws so that people can't say they're ignoring them! It's very ok, but not nearly as good as he thinks it is. Simon apparently hates this song. Or any song about birds. Judges Say: Not your best week, but you're still the front runner. I Say: Two steps back from last week, probably because he couldn't steal an arrangement fast enough. Change: +1 Score: +4
Ramiele Malubay Singing: "Do I Ever Cross Your Mind?" Dolly Says: I want to take her home and keep her. Performance: Ramiele is so scared to sing at the rehersal that Dolly sings the majority of the song which isn't good. Neither, by the way, is the performance. She's adding a really awful affected twang that doesn't sound good with her voice, and she loses her rhythm about ten seconds in. Judges Say: Maybe it's not too late for Danny to get you a job? I Say: Country really, really, REALLY isn't your thing. Change: -2 Score: -6
Jason Castro Singing: "Travelin' Through" Dolly Says: Willie Nelson would *love* this little gnome. Performance: I love that they're giving shout outs to Jason's stalkers before we get going. He's got a similar set up to Brooke. He sounds exactly the same as he always does, which is kind of take it or leave it at this point. Judges Say: Still ok, but your charm is wearing thin. I Say: Not a good start to the week. Change: -1 Score: -4
Carly Smithson Singing: "Here You Come Again" Dolly Says: Carly has a really good voice, and the industry screwed her over. (I may have made this up) Performance: One of her better performances on the actual show, I think, because she didn't get too carried away with it, which she has a tendancy to do. She gets her "glory" note in, which is really out of place and annoying, but other than that it was ok. Judges Say: You sounded pretty good, but nobody cares. Then Simon calls her ugly. I Say: Good performance, but I won't go back and relisten to it or anything. Change: +1 Score: +2
David Archuleta Singing: "Smoky Mountain Memories" Dolly Says: When I listened to him sing, it made me want to cry and go home (paraphrased). Performance: Ok, I'll get this out of the way first: This was way, way, way, way, way better than last week. He sounded just fine. Two things: He still sucks at performing on stage, and more than any song this year he sounded blown up immediately. Gasping into the mic is not attractive, Dave. Judges Say: A million times better than last week. I Say: Whatever, Lord Vader. Change: +2 Score: -1
Kristy Lee Cook Singing: "Coat of Many Colors" Dolly Says: When you need a song about how everybody's against you, come to me, sister. Performance: This is not the desperate mind grab that last week was, but if there's any week where Kristy should be ok, this is it. And it's not bad. It's a nice twangy little country cover of a nice twangly little country song. Judges Say: We've been waiting all season to say "Wheelhouse" in the right context. I Say: Not as amusing as last week, mostly because this was actually pretty ok. Change: +1 Score: -1
Sayesha Mercado Singing: "I Will Always Love You" (of course) Dolly Parton: You know, Whitney Houston once covered this song? I KNOW! Performance: Oh, Sayesha. Haven't you learned a damn thing about picking songs on this show? Ok, look, I know you totally went, "She wrote that?! YES!" But no matter what, the rule on this show is that you cannot ever sing Whitney. Never. Even when Dolly wrote it. Especially when you sound awful, which Sayesha does tonight. Judges Say: You know who did a better job covering that song? Whitney. I Say: Yeah, you didn't think that one all the way through. Change: -2 Score: -3
Michael Johns Singing: "It's All Wrong, but It's All Right Dolly Says: He went to my concert when he was a baby, which makes him ok with me. Performance: Nice ascot, nerd. Are you and the gang going to pile into the Mystery Machine with Castro after the show? He actually does a pretty damn good job with this song, it's easily his best performance of the actual competition. Judges Say: A good way to close out the show. I Say: His gimmick from here on out is blues covers in ascots. Change: +2 Score: +1
Not really a great week, with the best performances panning out right around mediocre. I think Dolly's a great mentor and the week had good potential, but this is the wrong group of singers for it. Only one pure "country" person, and nobody could really nail a solid cover of one of her more upbeat numbers. I would've liked to have seen what Chikezie would've done actually.
Ramiele Malubay Sayesha Mercado Jason Castro
Ramiele Malubay. Just wasn't a good week for her, and I think her fanbase is starting to erode a little bit week by week. Castro and Sayesha are hanging by a thread though at this point.
Brooke - "Jolene" - She was off key a lot in this one, but it wasn't totally horrible. But it was certainly kinda bad. She can get away with it for a week though. Thankfully she's back to sitting down now.
David C - "Little Sparrow" - Dolly thinks he's an arrogant prick. Well she didn't say that, but she sorta did. You could tell. I actually really liked this performance. I LOVE that they made him admit he hasn't once been truly "original" this season cause that had been bugging me. Apparently he was rushed to the hospital after for heart problems. Brother has cancer or some such thing, that I'm sure they'll play up at some point.
Ramielle - "Do I Ever Cross Your Mind" - This bitch is retarded. I'm sorry, I love her and she's cute and has a great voice. But she's fuckin retarded. How can you go this many weeks picking the absolute worst song possible for your voice? How? She's still not going home yet, but jesus girl.
Jason Castro - "Travelin' Through" - In a shocking twist Jason sings a medium tempo song while playing his guitar. This wasn't bad, but I get the feeling people have gotten tired of him.
Carly - "Here You Come Again" - I still like this girl, and she sang just fine. Simon points out what everyone else is thinking; mainly that she can't dress herself and looks kinda funky. I mean seriously if she was cute she'd be in it to win.
David A - "Smokey Mountain Memories" - He looked really uncomfortable when Dolly hugged him. Like arms at his side, not wanting to put them around her. Or he's just so small they couldn't reach around all that business there. He's back on track though as this was a much better song choice for him and he sang it perfectly. I know there's plenty of haters but he's still the frontrunner.
Kristy Lee Cook - "Coat of Many Colors" - Aww, and here I was hoping she'd come out in a dress made of the American flag. This was boring as hell. I mean just bleh. Plus way to smart off to Simon. I think she thinks it was cute.
Syesha - "I Will Always Love You" - I am stunned she would do a Whitney song. Just stunned. This girl is almost as stupid as Ramielle. Dolly: "She's not shy.." Translation: "Arrogant bitch". Least that's what I got out of it. Hey, way to hold onto a note for way too long. Holy hell that was horrible. I thought Ramielle might be in slight trouble before this.
Michael - "It's All Wrong, But It's All Right" - Wow, I actually loved this. What the hell Mike? You don't totally suck.
So the scorecard? Hmmm, tough to balance who actually sucked with who gets votes anyway. dialdiol has been on point so far, but I can't see how Syesha would not be in the bottom three this week. So I'll take her and Kristy as definites and then either Castro or Ramielle as the other.
I thought this week's show was pretty good. Some of the people that were hyped going in had their best performances that I've seen. (Last week we saw Ramiele and then the power went out at my house. Bummer.)
Brooke was really solid in the leadoff spot, but I've decided that if I knew her in real life I would find her impossible to like as a person. Her whole "it's OK if the judges hate me because they are really smart"-thing is definitely hitting me as over-the-top and insincere, and I can't stand people who try so obviously to be nice.
David Cook was decent, considering the theme of the week set him up for total failure. You can definitely tell he's got the most confidence of the group right now.
Ramiele was TRYING for something, but she could only perform about 1/4 of the amount her ambitiousness required. She needs to go home any time, now.
Jason's performance was surprisingly funky and pretty good. He REALLY needs to not to that girly stuff he was pulling in earlier weeks. His problem is that for one week it was decent, but if he keeps it up he's going to look like "David Cook Jr." Great moment during to mentor clip when Dolly goes to give him a "nice to meet you"-hug but Jason's guitar is in the way and it becomes a weird "what do we do? Your guitar is in the way"-minute of awkwardness.
Carly was good, but I had never seen her husband before tonight. I don't know what tattoos on your face say, exactly, but I know what they DON'T say, which is "hire me." Cheap shot by Simon who disses Carly's "look", which means "I don't like you but you sing well, so how else can I criticize you." Particularly harsh when you consider there are 800 lbs. of backup singers with far more questionable fashion choices right behind her.
David Superstar FINALLY busts out a song that at least shows why he was hyped up so much. He is still a charismatic black hole, but he did a good job and probably got back on people's good sides after a few shaky weeks.
KLC had her expected good week. I wished she would have gone for something a little more fun, but she's trolling for votes so singing a song about poverty is probably the right choice for her. She also continued to put a solid entry in the "hottest chick to make the Idol finals"-race, looking super-hot as usual.
Syesha - oh MAN. Didn't quite unleash the twins this week, but still looked very nice. First half of the song was quite good because she didn't go to Whitney-land. Second half of the song was decent but was so obviously her attempt t Whitney-land that it suffered for being so. Basically, she had the week KLC had to avoid.
Michael was pretty damn good, although I thought he was channeling his fellow Aussie Michael Hutchence. Agreed on the ascot - WTF? One book, "Swedish-made Penis Enlargers And Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag Baby", by Austin Powers. That's REALLY not the kind of thing we should be thinking about while you're singing, man.
Decent week. Syesha and Ramiele seem the two obvious choices to hit the road.
Holy fuck shit motherfucker shit. Read comics. Fuck shit shit fuck shit I sold out when I did my job. Fuck fuck fuck shit fuck. Sorry had to do it....
Revenge of the Sith = one thumb up from me. Fuck shit. I want to tittie fuck your ass. -- The Guinness. to Cerebus
Originally posted by Parts UnknownArchuleta knew he was in trouble after last week's ridiculous song choice so he WISELY plays the Jesus Song Card, which is not unlike Kristy's Jingoism Americana Song Card.
Would anyone ever buy his album?
That's the one thing that puzzled me from the outset about the judges' bigging the guy up so much. I got that he's technically decent, but couldn't see how the heck they planned to make money off him as I had no clue who would pay to hear him when he got out into the big bad world.
The thoroughly irritating squeals generated every time his squinty little coupon comes on screen though, suggest that the answer to your question is "Girls in the 8-12 (years old or IQ) range".
First things first. Dolly Parton rules. I love her and think she is criminally underrated. So on with the show.
Brooke - I like her enough that I can't envision myself disliking a performance of hers. Tonight though was not a good song choice for her. She couldn't really inhabit the song, and that's not good. Hopefully safe this week, as she's my second favorite on the show.
David C. - Another solid performance. Yes, he's taking people's arrangements, but considering the entire show is based on singing other people's songs I don't see how this is shocking. I've never once heard him say (until tonight) that he's coming up with something original for the songs. Hopefully he's feeling better today, as I would hate to see him knocked out due to health problems. Could be Michael poisoning him possibly Safe this week.
Ramiele - I've given up on her. Week after week I hope this will be the week she hooks me back in, but there's only so many chances. I suspect she's bottom 3, and she might be going home.
Jason - Hey, he might have abstained from the bong for at least an hour before this performance! Nice to see him find something with a little more upbeat tempo. His best performance since "Hallelujah", and likely keeps him around for a little while longer. He might end up bottom 3, but he's not going home.
Carly - I don't know why, but I just have no real interest in her. She's not bad at all, and I think Simon is hard on her. But she just doesn't interest me. Her and David CLB both have the same problem, great voices but lacking charisma. I mean you wouldn't think a cute Irish chick with awesome tattoos would fail to excite me, but somehow she does. Safe this week, but I think she's falling behind, and seems likely to go home before the Final Three.
David CLB - Once again he busts out the Big Note Bludgeon and proceeds to beat a song, and its listeners, into submission. Apparently his father never got around to teaching nuance. It is going to suck for him in about 5-7 years when he is no longer "cute" and he finally snaps and becomes a meth addict on Hollywood Blvd. But he's safe tonight because 12 year old girls have fast fingers for dialing.
Kristy - She's hot except for the dead eyes. The song was boring as ever, and totally again aimed at the red staters. I can already hear people complaining about how people want handouts for the government instead of making their own coats of many colors. I hate her so much and hope she goes home, but I think bottom 3 is her floor this week.
Syesha - This was both inevitable and undesireable. A bad idea, and I think it might doom her. Bottom 3, and possible to go home.
Michael - David C's emergence has just killed him. As the future Mrs. SPF said about him "he just looks like he thinks he's so much hotter and more talented than he really is." That about sums him up. It was his best week in forever though, and should be enough to get him through.
My guess would be bottom three of Ramiele, Syesha, and Jason. Ramiele goes home.
Brooke - I agree that she kinda rushed though her song, but I'll chalk that up to nerves and 90 second arrangements. I kinda wish she'd stop talking back during the critiques, but there's always one who does that, isn't there? I like her, but not really a good week. Prediction: SAFE.
David C. - I'm trying to see past his smugness (which I'm thinking now might be more like confidence in the face of family tragedy) and judge him solely on performance. This was really good, despite that one odd note in the chorus. I see what he was going for, but it struck me funny. Prediction: SAFE (and most likely eventually in the Top 3).
Ramiele - Ah, Ramiele. You killed us all with your Top 24 performance and made me believe that I could simultaneously vote for someone Filipino AND someone who deserved to move on. But since then I've seen nothing fantastic. This week was actually much better than previous weeks and a lot better than the judges gave credit for, but it was still lost in the shuffle. I think they pick songs based on reverse height order and she always gets screwed. She would have smashed the song Carly sang. Oh well. Also, I completely forgot to vote for her until 10:57, so...Prediction: BOTTOM 3.
Jason - Man, I was just starting to warm up to the stoner schtick and he didn't do it this week! Fun performance. Prediction: SAFE.
Carly - She bores me to death. She really does. She is a good singer, but I don't enjoy watching her. I want to say Bottom 3, but she was definitely good enough to stick around another week. Prediction: SAFE.
David A. - I think my problem with him is purely generational. I just don't get the appeal. He's a fantastic singer, but when he's not singing, he's annoying as hell. He continues to sing songs that are "too old" for him. By that I mean the songs would have a better emotional resonance coming from someone with more life experience. Anyway, I digress. He was good. Prediction: SAFE.
Kristy - Simon summed it up pretty well, "Pleasant, but forgettable". This should have been her week, but it wasn't. Prediction: BOTTOM 3.
Syesha - I'm not sure I've ever heard the Dolly version. Now I really want to. Syesha's hybrid version was hit and miss for me, and I don't see it appealing to most of America. Prediction: BOTTOM 3.
Michael - I don't like the guy at all, but he did really well this week (despite looking like he was desperately trying to push out a turd). Prediction: SAFE.
Of my predicted Bottom 3 of Ramiele, Kristy, and Syesha, Ramiele gets sent back to the couches first and Syesha goes home. We've seen in previous weeks that: A) Syesha has no fanbase and B) the "obvious" pick to go home (in this week's case, Ramiele) never is the one to go home.
Brooke White - "Jolene"'s a really amazing song about trying to keep a slut from stealing your man. So why did Brooke smile so much? I don't know. Brooke's not bad, but she's just never done anything for me. The definition of blah. Almost certainly safe, although she'd be in my personal bottom three.
David Cook - My overall favorite in the competition, although not his strongest week. "Little Sparrow" is another fantastic song, though, and I'm glad somebody did it. Not so sure about him on the chorus, but I thought the rest was solid. Certainly safe.
Ramiele - Very weak, and she hasn't had a good performance in a while. She's super-cute, at least. Definitely bottom three.
Jason Castro - I thought he was great this week, but I've always liked Jason. He seems to be one of those guys who either really appeals to you or just annoys the crap out of you. He also seemed sober during his interview portion, for once. I actually think he's safe this week.
Carly - Very good singer, but I see what they mean about the lack of charisma. She just kind of stands there and sings. It's not that she's bad, I just expect more out of her than I usually get. Quite safe and still the front-running girl, methinks.
David Archuleta - I've just gotten less and less impressed by David week after week. The first time you hear him sing, it's kind of shocking and he seems amazingly talented for his age. Then you realize that that sort of breathy, wheezy semi-castrati thing is pretty much all he can do. And, yeah, I'm tired of him squinting and looking shy.
Kristy - Had to do well this week, else she was just toast. She did pretty well, had the right vibe and looked pretty good (although I still hate her damn fingernails). Nothing spectacular, but solid and should keep her around for another week.
Michael Johns - Very good vocal, I have no idea about the performance. Between the ascot and looking like he was about to take a crap every time he emoted on a note, it was kind of weird. Still, definitely safe and just about the best he's sounded.
Bottom three this week will probably be Ramiele, Syesha and Jason (although, as I said, I think Brooke should be down there instead of him). While Ramiele's the weakest of the three, I think Syesha goes for trying to be Whitney one too many times.
(edited by GodEatGod on 2.4.08 1325) "Never piss off a hawk with a blowgun" - Conan O'Brien
I felt sorry for poor Ramiele. Not for getting eliminated, that I was expecting. But for when the bottom 3 were hugging each other after being named. I thought she was going to get crushed being between the glamazon duo of Kristy Lee and Brooke. Even though Ramiele had the worst performance, I wanted Kristy Lee to get knocked off for that paper stunt saying "Kristy's seat". That just came off to me as someone who wanted to quit and was saying to the audience "GET ME OFF THIS SHOW ALREADY!!!"
Oh, BTW, I was at work so I couldn't hear the whole interview with Dolly Parton after her performance. But what was with her and Simon? It seemed like she was just having fun with him and he had a reaction at the end like he wanted to punt her in the face, Orton-style.
Weird, weird show. I agree - Kristy and Brooke made a titty sandwich out of little Ramielle and the worst part was you could TELL she KNEW it and was trying to wiggle around and get somewhere that didn't look so lesbian.
I know people are praising Dolly Parton this week after we've all been reminded that she had some cool songs but JESUS LORD was her performance terrible last night. I was embarrassed for her.
Well, the right person went home. David Cook is still the only album I would buy from these schmoes.
Except for the gun joke, which doesn't make sense....? I remember a big thing a couple years ago about how this report showed that movies with subtitles far outgross movies with numerical sequel numbers.