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The W - Movies & TV - This Is....The American Idol Finale!
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Excalibur05
Knackwurst








Since: 19.1.02
From: Minnesota

Since last post: 5 days
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#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.72
A billion weeks, two contestants, only one...American Idol. They've got Michael Buffer doing the introductions, and he's stepping all over Ryan's business. Since when did Archuletta join the nWo anyway? I must've missed that week. Jim Lamply! All he has to talk about now is wrestling and singing. Screw boxing!

Video highlight! Only one person can take home the title of the American Idol! Spot check: Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood and...Chris Daughtrey? Well...Two out of three ain't bad. Our celebrity mentors this week are the ghoulsih visage of Andrew Lloyd Webber, who apparently has nothing better to do, and Clive Davis, who manages somehow not to die on or berate the contestants during his segments, so that's nice. How does David Archuletta say so humble? Hint: Shock Collar!

Wheezy wins the coin toss. He's going to take the ball, and he's going to score.

David Lee Cook
Singing: "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" by U2 (Courtesy of Clive), "Dream Big", and "The World I Know" by Collective Soul
Performance:
I Still Haven't Found WHat I'm Looking For: Well, if you're going to mimmick a pretentious artist, you might as well shoot straight for Bono, right? Cookie's really trying to emote here. It's not a bad cover of the song, probably because he's not taking any liberties with it like he promised to do. A little too safe? Maybe. Randy tells him they're trying to find the 2007 American Idol RIGHT HERE! Um...That explains things, I guess.
Dream Big: The contestants get to pick their own "winning song" this year, proof positive that they actually learned something from Blake Lewis having to sing "This Is My Now" last year. I mean...shit. This song sucks just as bad as "This Is My Now" did, but...I don't know. I could see this getting played on the radio. So, good on Cookie here.
The World I Know This is kind of a big "Fuck You" to the process because he doesn't want to sing a song he already sang before. Simon is clearly begging him to sing "Billy Jean." Not bad, a little too close to the original except on a few notes, but this is what's popular on soft rock stations right now, so I can't really fault him for it or anything. Not great, but certainly not bad.
Judges Say: You were totally boring on a night when...it didn't really matter, but still, you were boring.
I Say: Uh...too bad?
Change: +1
Score: +5

David Archuleta
Singing: "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me" by Elton John (courtesy of Clive), "In This Moment", and "Imagine (by John Lennon)
Performance:
Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me: Clive's choices are interesting, because they kind of let you in on what record he's going to force these two to make. I can think of nobody more popular in today's marketplace than Elton John, so this bodes well. Typically good/boring performance from David. One of his better performances this year.
In This Moment: David Archuletta pretty clearly just looked over the list of songs and said, "Fuck it...which one sounds the most like the songs they've sang every other year?" And this is it. The lyrics for this song even make Andrew Lloyd Weber's mind boggle. Those are some powerful lyrics. This is awful. I mean, it's totally the song they wanted him to pick, but it still sucks serious ass.
Imagine: Ugh. I thought this sucked the last time he did it, and this time it's just as much of an abomination. I'm really not a music prick about Lennon songs, but I still don't think you have the right to do a crappy job at it. Remarkably, however, he's found a way to contain his wheezing for one night only! So that's a plus!
Judges Say: *sounds of the judges' enormous blow job*
I Say: It was pretty good, but not even in the top five best performances of the season.
Change: +2
Score: +3

Ryan reads the numbers again as Simon essentially rolls his eyes at this whole season. Good to have you back, Simon. David's dad is really excited at all the money he's about to skim off his son. I hear he's taking classes for Joe Simpson. I remain facinated at this season's ability to go so far that Randy Jackson completely ran out of words.

The Winner:

David Archuletta. No shocker there, is it? The judges had to be surgically removed from his penis tonight, and there's nothing David Cook could've done to stop it. Archuletta's got talent, no doubt, but not enough, and not anything that's going to impact the market today. They said multiple times tonight that this is a competition to find the best singer, and of course, it's not really. But the longer they delude themselves about that, the more the show fails to produce anything other than Ford Ads and winners heading straight to musical theatre. But what do I know? Hocking...Out!



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DrewDewce
Bratwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: The Derby City

Since last post: 25 days
Last activity: 1 day
Y!:
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.15
I just have to hope that there are people out there like myself who have watched the show and never voted before who actually got off their asses and voted for David Cook tonight and against that little toad. We'll see.



It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
P. G. Wodehouse (1881 - 1975), The Man Upstairs (1914)
PeterStork
Sujuk








Since: 25.1.02
From: Chicagoland with Hoosiers, or "The Region"

Since last post: 641 days
Last activity: 3 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.37
I'm so glad the Three Stooges fell all over themselves to proclaim their love for Archie tonight, because when Cook wipes the smiles off their faces tomorrow night it's going to be AWE-


-SOME!

It's like the heel going over in the main event of Raw six days before the PPV to make the blow-off match that much better. All the props for Papa Smurf will make the victory for Cook all the better.

That said, this season was bleh.



exit 670 dot com | digital route 66
Mayhem
Scrapple








Since: 25.4.03
From: Nashville, TN

Since last post: 10 days
Last activity: 3 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.75

Anyone else think that the song "Dream Big" sounded like it should be the theme to some pre-teen show on the Disney Channel?
wmatistic
Andouille








Since: 2.2.04
From: Austin, TX

Since last post: 14 days
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#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.08
    Originally posted by PeterStork
    I'm so glad the Three Stooges fell all over themselves to proclaim their love for Archie tonight, because when Cook wipes the smiles off their faces tomorrow night it's going to be AWE-


    -SOME!

    It's like the heel going over in the main event of Raw six days before the PPV to make the blow-off match that much better. All the props for Papa Smurf will make the victory for Cook all the better.

    That said, this season was bleh.


Why do you think the judges give a shit who wins at this point? They both get record deals, it doesn't matter even slightly.

The Archie hate has gotten beyond stupid at this point.
Bullitt
Shot in the dark








Since: 11.1.02
From: Houston

Since last post: 16 days
Last activity: 16 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.58
I've grown tired of Archuleta's "Aw, shucks...you think I'm good? Really?" look when he gets complimented.
PeterStork
Sujuk








Since: 25.1.02
From: Chicagoland with Hoosiers, or "The Region"

Since last post: 641 days
Last activity: 3 days
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.37
    Originally posted by wmatistic
    Why do you think the judges give a shit who wins at this point? They both get record deals, it doesn't matter even slightly.

    The Archie hate has gotten beyond stupid at this point.


Because it's amusing to me to see the three judges that regurgitate the same damn trite phrases ("You did your thing up there!" "You could sing the phone book..." "It didn't work for me..." "You...you look incredible tonight.") verbally fellate a contestant only to have the viewers of the show say "Eh-eh!"

That goes beyond the Archie hate, which isn't hate as much as it is a recognition that this kid will never ever sell well as an artist. Cook doesn't have a great chance, but Archie will fall flat on his face.

It's not hate for Archie as much it's wanting to see the judges get shown that they were wrong. Learn the difference.

(edited by PeterStork on 20.5.08 2210)


exit 670 dot com | digital route 66
jfkfc
Liverwurst








Since: 9.2.02

Since last post: 37 days
Last activity: 3 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.79
When my daughter tells me how much she (and her BFF's) loooooooooves David Archuletta, I see this kid selling tons of records and playing sold out shows....to pre-teens. Maybe he won't be Hannah Montana huge, but surely this kid can be Jonas Brothers huge. Money from 10-15 year olds is just as green as anyone else's, and that should be enough to make Archuletta's daddy happy indeed. I could certainly see myself listening to something from Cook, but no way does he need the win on his resume to do things, while I think it helps David Archuletta way more.
Reverend J Shaft
Liverwurst








Since: 25.6.03
From: Home of The Big House

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 4 hours
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.69
You can sum up last night by the judges' comments for each performer.

David C.
Randy- 1st song: Aight, dawg. Did I mention me and Bono used to hang out all the time?
2nd song: Who wrote this sh!t? Oh.
3rd song: Collective Soul used to wash my car before I made them stars.
Paula- 1st song: You may not have "found what you're looking for", but we have. I'm so stoned.
2nd song: You keep "dreaming big", David. Your soul is beautiful - and I'm starting to trip a little badly here.
3rd song: (What's the name of that song? OK.) David, the "world I know" is more beautiful now that I've heard you sing.
Simon- All songs: You realize you have no chance, right? I mean, we're fixing the vote anyways, you realize that?


Mini-Lucifer
Randy- 1st song: Dawg! Da BOMB!
2nd song: I love you, dawg. And not in a plutonic sense, either.
3rd song: Would you mind if I dryhumped you onstage, dawg?
Paula- 1st song: You are sooooo cute. (hiccup!)
2nd song: Can I take you home and pretend you're my child? That's not weird, is it?
3rd song: (passes out)
Simon- 1st song: Round 1 - Archuleta
2nd song: Round 2 - Archuleta
3rd song: Round 3 - Knockout! Prepare to meet Bald Bull for the championship.



Spoiler Below: Highlight text to read
Dialidol has Cook winning in a landslide. Yeah, like that's gonna happen....(?!?!?)

EDIT: Since spf put spoiler tags on his, I'll put 'em on mine. It's not like it matters, anyway.


(edited by Reverend J Shaft on 21.5.08 0744)
spf
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02
From: The Las Vegas of Canada

Since last post: 23 days
Last activity: 1 day
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#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.16
    Originally posted by jfkfc
    When my daughter tells me how much she (and her BFF's) loooooooooves David Archuletta, I see this kid selling tons of records and playing sold out shows....to pre-teens. Maybe he won't be Hannah Montana huge, but surely this kid can be Jonas Brothers huge. Money from 10-15 year olds is just as green as anyone else's, and that should be enough to make Archuletta's daddy happy indeed. I could certainly see myself listening to something from Cook, but no way does he need the win on his resume to do things, while I think it helps David Archuletta way more.

Problem is they love him in 90 second doses. Can he carry an entire album and make it popular solely on doe eyes and the humility of a child locked in the cellar one too many times?

Agreeing with jfkfc though I wonder if that isn't why he got such a push tonight. Cook will sell records whether he wins or not. But without the promotional cachet of being the A.I. winner, I can't see the creepy little bastard making any sort of dent in the market. Not that the title means he will be a huge success, but even Taylor Hicks sold a few copies of his album.

That said, it was an awful night for Cook. He really has some awful instincts when given the license to pick his own music. At least CLB knew that its the last week, you want to end big. Ending on a Collective Soul song is not the final impression one generally wants to leave.

FWIW, dialidol.com, working on a streak of 4 weeks in a row correct, and 3 finals in a row correct, says that

Spoiler Below: Highlight text to read
David Cook, yay!
wins in a landslide.



2007 W-League Fantasy Football champion!
dMr
Andouille








Since: 2.11.02
From: Edinburgh, Scotland

Since last post: 45 days
Last activity: 7 hours
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.39
    Originally posted by wmatistic
    Why do you think the judges give a shit who wins at this point? They both get record deals, it doesn't matter even slightly.

    The Archie hate has gotten beyond stupid at this point.


Different target audiences. Archuleta is likely going to be aimed at young girls, and "Youngest Ever AI winner" would be a decent selling point to them.

Cook's going to probably get pitched to an older 'rockier' audience some of whom may actually be put off by the idea of having anything from an American Idol winner in their collection.

The best result for all in the long run is arguably a win for the Squinty Gimp.

For the record, its the judges' continued refusal to pick up on his fairly obvious faults that bugs me more than anything he does. They shat all over Syesha at times when her worst crimes were an initial lack of personality and being merely very good but picking songs that required greatness.

Archie gets a free pass (particularly from Randy) on having shocking stage presence, never making eye contact with the audience, having minimal personality (beyond faux-bashful 'aw shucks' smiles), and for never EVER moving the figging mic away from his mouth when he inhales.

If they gave a more honest review of his performances I'd likely have a bit more time for the kid.
Matt Tracker
Scrapple








Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 4 hours
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.21
I am on the record with my Archie hate, and most of it is because the kid's just too young. He doesn't have the emotional history to tell a song's story. "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me" is a desperate blues song, and he did a karaoke cover of the George Michael version.

But he KILLED "Imagine." He made a stale song interesting, and that deserves credit. How much influence do the producers have on the song arrangements? I just can't believe Archie put together that version of "Imagine." No way.

Cook also managed to make "World I Have Known" more interesting. He was trying new notes last night. He was pulling a Syesha -- working harder to take advantage of the opportunity. And for that he should win. Archie strikes me as a guy who can get bored/anxious with the Idol machine at any time and run back home. Cook is ready to be a star.

Such an odd show. Those original songs are horrible, and there's only so much either guy can do with them. They sounded just as saccharine and earnest as "Celebrate Me Home," a song that should be launched into the sun.

Cook has more to offer, and that's why I want him to win.



"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
JayJayDean
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02
From: Seattle, WA

Since last post: 9 days
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Y!:
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.40
    Originally posted by wmatistic
    The Archie hate has gotten beyond stupid at this point.


I wouldn't say it's so much hating HIM, as I think we're all sick of being told how great he is week after week after week when that hasn't been the case. AND it was making me particularly annoyed last night when both of those guys were just about equally good. I can't remember the judges (Simon particularly) being THAT transparent in pushing someone to win, well, pretty much since Fantastia.

I'm not saying Archuleta's not talented, but he should have gone home last week, as he's is still basically a one-trick pony, albeit the best one of the season by far.

And, I thought last night was a prefect example of the one compliment they have been giving David Cook all season. That "original" song he did - I could picture that on the radio and being a hit. Not so with the Archuleta song.

(edited by JayJayDean on 21.5.08 0724)


Holy fuck shit motherfucker shit. Read comics. Fuck shit shit fuck shit I sold out when I did my job. Fuck fuck fuck shit fuck. Sorry had to do it....

*snip*

Revenge of the Sith = one thumb up from me. Fuck shit. I want to tittie fuck your ass.
-- The Guinness. to Cerebus
Matt Tracker
Scrapple








Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 4 hours
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.21
    Originally posted by JayJayDean
    And, I thought last night was a prefect example of the one compliment they have been giving David Cook all season.


Randy needs to retire the "you could sing the phonebook" line.



"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
spf
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02
From: The Las Vegas of Canada

Since last post: 23 days
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#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.16
    Originally posted by dMr
    Cook's going to probably get pitched to an older 'rockier' audience some of whom may actually be put off by the idea of having anything from an American Idol winner in their collection.

I think we as a people crossed that bridge when Kelly Clarkson became acceptable to indie rock fans.



2007 W-League Fantasy Football champion!
SchippeWreck
Banger








Since: 26.3.03
From: Glendale, CA

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 12 hours
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.77
Cook may have the advantage since voting was open until 1am (or midnight, depending on your timezone) and most of Archuleta's fanbase has a bed time.

I can guarantee one thing will happen tonight. Ryan will say, "The winner of American Idol...is...David...*LOOOOOOOONG PAUSE*"



"It's magic! We don't need to explain it!"
PeterStork
Sujuk








Since: 25.1.02
From: Chicagoland with Hoosiers, or "The Region"

Since last post: 641 days
Last activity: 3 days
#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.95
    Originally posted by SchippeWreck

    I can guarantee one thing will happen tonight. Ryan will say, "The winner of American Idol...is...David...*LOOOOOOOONG PAUSE*"


"...and we'll find out his last name...



"after these messages!"

*Coke ad*
*Ford ad*
*twenty more ads*



exit 670 dot com | digital route 66
wmatistic
Andouille








Since: 2.2.04
From: Austin, TX

Since last post: 14 days
Last activity: 12 min.
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#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.08
    Originally posted by Matt Tracker


    But he KILLED "Imagine." He made a stale song interesting, and that deserves credit. How much influence do the producers have on the song arrangements? I just can't believe Archie put together that version of "Imagine." No way.



Who knows, but there is video of him doing the song in at least a kinda similar way when he was 13 that you can find on Youtube.

Funny thing is he didn't squint near as much back then. Very noticeable.
spf
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02
From: The Las Vegas of Canada

Since last post: 23 days
Last activity: 1 day
AIM:  
#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.16
    Originally posted by wmatistic
      Originally posted by Matt Tracker


      But he KILLED "Imagine." He made a stale song interesting, and that deserves credit. How much influence do the producers have on the song arrangements? I just can't believe Archie put together that version of "Imagine." No way.



    Who knows, but there is video of him doing the song in at least a kinda similar way when he was 13 that you can find on Youtube.

    Funny thing is he didn't squint near as much back then. Very noticeable.

I don't think he made in interesting. He made it schmaltzy and trite. It became exactly what he is, a talent show song. Everything was sacrificed to allow for as many big notes as possible. Slow it down, move the notes up and down the scale, and aim for a big crescendo, and when you sing "and the world will live as one" have absolutely no idea what sort of vision that really is.



2007 W-League Fantasy Football champion!
Excalibur05
Knackwurst








Since: 19.1.02
From: Minnesota

Since last post: 5 days
Last activity: 4 days
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#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.72
Hooray for Cookie!

The divide between the two was really evident during the Mike Myers segment.

Archuletta kind of rocked "Appologize" though. He should've done that a couple weeks ago, or hell last night, when it actually would've meant something.

And hooray for Brooke getting a sing out too. That was pretty neat.



For NFL Power Rankings, My Blog and More, check out Hock Show Dot Com (hockshow.com)
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It's probably one of those cases where the second disc is nothing but a digital copy of the movie.
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