If this has been done to death before in earlier threads, I apologize...
Voice: (Bongo drums in background) The case you are about to see is real. Both parties have agreed to drop their cases and have their dispute settled here -- in our forum -- The Wrestler's Court. Doug Llewellyn: Welcome to the Wrestler's Court. Today, we have the case of the Backstage Brawlers. The defendant is now entering the courtroom. Let's watch.
Bradshaw the Bailiff: Everyone rise for the honorable Judge Undertaker. Dead Man Walking....
Undertaker: Please be seated. Your name....
Jericho: Hey, Undertaker, you don't understand... I just...
Undertaker: I SAID YER NAME, PUNK!
Jericho: Chris Jericho. Living Legend. King of the World. Huge Rock Star. Highlight of the Night.
Undertaker: And what the hell happened backstage, son?
Jericho: I was just telling this assclown Greenberg that he should be giving me a little respect. After all, I am the first... UN-DIS-PUTED WWE Champion!
Undertaker: Respect? You wanna talk about respect, Jericho? I been here more than a decade. This is my yard, and I'm the biggest dog around here... Rest... in ... peace (Undertaker turns to leave)
Bradshaw: Uh... the case?
Undertaker: Right... bring on the plaintiff.
Goldberg: You're..... NEXT!
Undertaker: Aw, damn, Stone Cold. You only been back a few months now. You can't stay outta trouble?
Goldberg: I'm Bill Goldberg.
Undertaker: Ahh (smiles) I heard of you. What the hell are you doing in my court, son?
Goldberg: I have no idea. I was just telling Jericho here that I came to the WWE to become famous.
Undertaker: YOU WANT ME TO MAKE YOU FAMOUS? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYIN'?
Undertaker: Hell, I had enough this crap. Bradshaw, why don't you teach these guys our main event style? .... In the showers!
Bradshaw: Heh heh! With pleasure, your honor!
Doug Llewyln: All right, you just heard the Judge's decision. Tune in next week, when we decide the case of Ric Flair and Eric Bischoff: Geriatric Grudge Match. Until next time, remember: if you have a problem with someone, take 'em to court!
"If I told Mooah to act her age, she'd die." -- Jerry Lawler, 1999
While we have just completed the entire run of sometimes great, sometimes awful, but never dull WCW programming in 1996, it’s easy to forget there was still another game in town. Over at Titan Towers, things were not promising.