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The W - Music - The worst of 2002... and there was quite a bit.
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Cerebus
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Since: 17.11.02

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#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.74
Here's a small list of what I felt was WRONG with the music scene of 2002. I kept most of the obvious off the list: Nstink, Backside Boys, Clitney, but anyways, here we go...

Top 20 songs that need to go the way of the DoDo in the coming year.


Envogue - Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer: "What, something WORSE then Miss Osbourne's singing debut? Surely you jest?" Nope... go to Kazaa and download it, this is the single worst piece of shit I have heard in a long time, hands down.

Kelly Osbourne - Papa Don't Preach: ...or Teach for that matter, no ammount of post production in the universe could save this shit. What were Sharon and Ozzy thinking? What the fuck is next; Jack doing an album of Sinatra covers?

J-Lo - Jenny From The Block: Go back to being a fly girl, at least then you didn't open you mouth except backstage when you wanted to get on camera, and then, it was full of Wayans penis.

Christina Aguilera - Dirrty: What's with the 'r', were you sucking some producer off while on the phone and it rolled off while saying the name of the song? You and Nelly, and you just KNOW he sucks some major dick to keep HIS record contract.

Kelly Clarkson - Moment Like This: EVIL!!! I am ashamed to be an american because of this utter shit.

Sophie Ellis Bextor - Murder On The Dance Floor: Which is what someone should do to this yak, but that's not really a good thing cause she'd 'dirrty' up my dance spot.

Hoobstank - Running Away: Fuck you, Carson Daly, for bringing this shit into our radiowaves. Fuck You, I say!

Whitney Houston - Whatchulookinat: Uh... your career going to shit, same as you, honey.

Puddle of Mud - She Hates Me: ...and so do we, no go away.

Celine Dion - I'm Alive: Go find another husband to get sick so you can retire again, for good this time though.

Daryl Hall & John Oats - Do It For Love: How the FUCK did this shit get released?

Justin Timberlake - Cry Me A River: Please die, Michael Jackson is even blacker then you, What does THAT tell you?

Mariah Carey - Through the Rain: Well, we were 'this close' to being rid of you, let's pray for a speedy death this time

Nick Carter - Help Me: ...that's what I'm Saying, quit stealing my lines you stupid fuck!

Nelly - Hot in Herre: Yeah! So hot it's frying brain cells and dumbing us all down.

Daniel Bedingfield - Gotta Get Through This: ...fucking list, cause remembering some of these songs is like having a root canal.

Madonna - Die Another Day: While the song isn't really all THAT bad, it's a far cry from what she COULD have done with the song a decade ago when she was good. She needs to 'remake' herself again as a musician this time.

No Doubt - Hella Good: Go back to girly punk, wanna be hip-hop does NOT suit you woman!

The Calling - Wherever You Will Go: This wasn't so bad until the 80 billionth time I heard it, damn VH1.

Avirl Lavigne - Sk8er Boi: You cute little thing you... now go back and finish school like a smart 'grrl' before your career takes a dive towards porn... which I hope happens.


Edit: Spelling and I had the Wrong Kelly... like it matters though.

(edited by Cerebus on 22.12.02 1229)

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tomvejada
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Since: 2.1.02

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#2 Posted on
My pick for the Worst of 2002, goes to Will Smith's Black Suits are Comin.

Honorable mention goes to B2K, J-Lo, Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, New Found Glory.







"I just got pinned by a friggin twelve-year-old."

Kurt Angle
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Since: 2.1.02
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#3 Posted on
I have to admit that the Daniel Bedingfield song kind of grew on me in some weird way. It's not something I would choose to listen to, but if I'm driving I don't reflexively move to a new station when it comes on.

Worst song of the year though was "Soak Up The Sun". Take a simplistic melody and add lyrics so insipid a learning-challenged wombat would look and go "this sucks" and you have a recipe for a summer hit that makes me angry and unhappy.



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Brian P. Dermody
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Since: 20.9.02
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#4 Posted on

    Originally posted by spf2119
    Worst song of the year though was "Soak Up The Sun". Take a simplistic melody and add lyrics so insipid a learning-challenged wombat would look and go "this sucks" and you have a recipe for a summer hit that makes me angry and unhappy.


That whole Sheryl Crow album sounds like it was made for the exclusive purpose of selling cars. I want her head to explode.

And I haven't heard the song, but I hear J-Lo samples KRS-ONE. If that's true, I also would like her head to explode.



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Bullitt
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Since: 11.1.02
From: Houston

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#5 Posted on

    Originally posted by Cerebus
    J-Lo - Jenny From The Block: Go back to being a fly girl, at least then you didn't open you mouth except backstage when you wanted to get on camera, and then, it was full of Wayans penis

    Kelly Rowland - Moment Like This: EVIL!!! I am ashamed to be an american because of this utter shite.

    No Doubt - Hella Good: Go back to girly punk, wanna be hip-hop does NOT suit you woman!




My take...

The J-Lo song pisses me off on so many levels. First, the notion that you're still the same person you've always been is completely laughable. "I'm still Jenny from the block"...my ass you are, sugar.

What gets be the most about that song is the BLATANT rip-off of The Beatnuts. She takes part of "Watch Out Now" but does not credit it in the liner notes.

Kelly Rowland is from Destiny's Child; you meant Kelly Clarkson up there. And, yes...we all agree with that.

And again, I know this is a personal preference thread...but "Hella Good" is one of the coolest songs I've heard in years. I'd put that in my Top 20 as opposed to bottom.



"So, sorry sweetie...tootsie-pie...sugarbob...funky bunch."

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HrdCoreJoe
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Since: 29.4.02
From: Jax, FL

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#6 Posted on
Almost all of those reasons up there are exactly why I never listen to the radio anymore, opting for instead cds I know are good, and also only watch MTV for wrestling an hour and a half a week. Lord only knows that MTV discussion need not be brought up here, but suffice it to say, they haven't played anything good, let alone music period in some time.



Treasure Planet ruled all kinds of ass. And yes, I do work for Disney but its good anyhoo.
Freeway
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Since: 3.1.02
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#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.96
I personally HATE any song with brackets in the titles.

Examples include "Nod Ya Head (Black Suits Coming)" from Men in Black II.

I also hate it when bands try to be two or three genres at a time. And pop music.

So yes, there was a lot of bad music this year. There was also a lot of good stuff.



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drjayphd
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Since: 22.4.02
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#8 Posted on
First off, the official name to be used to mock the Backstreet Boys is the Backdoor Boys, not Backside Boys.

First off, Cerebus: You're wrong on the following:

* Hoobastank (Incubus ripoffs, but they could do worse)
* "Hella Good" (It's okay, not offensively bad)
* Daniel Bedingfield (Starting to grow on me)

And the story behind "Cry Me A River" is more interesting than the song. Although I wish he woulda quoted the rest of the line... it's been a while since I heard Britney being called a fat fuckin' baby.

tomvejada: Honorable mention? Those should be on the list, no question. I don't have a clue who the fuck B2K are, or why I should care. And anyone who calls NFG emo is spitting on the genre (even though there's no crying in hardcore).



Today's Out-Of-Context Quote, Courtesy of Punkinhead:

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Dagent913
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Since: 18.11.02
From: Strong Island

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#9 Posted on
Damn you, Cerebus. When I saw the name of the thread, I was hoping you'd name something that I liked so that I could argue (I'm in one of those moods right now), but no. You had to go say stuff that I agree with. Well, ok, I actually kinda liked Hella Good, but I can forgive your inclusion of it on your list as I can see why someone would hate it (why do I doubt that that sentence made sense?). I don't know who Daniel Bedgingfield or The Calling are, but I get the feeling they suck too, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

Also, thank you for including Puddle of Mudd. I've encountered so many people who like that crappy band. I hate that guy and his damn hat.

Oh, and as for the question of what Sharon and Ozzy were thinking when they came up with the idea for their kid singing. I believe the actual words they had going through their heads were "Cha-Ching!" Ok, actually that's what Sharon was thinking. I doubt Ozzy even knows his daughter has an album out.



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Since: 6.1.02
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#10 Posted on
Daniel Bedingfield might be my biggest guilty pleasure of the year. When I first heard it I thought "owh so bad" then the for that entire week I was thinking "You gotta get through this, you gotta get through these". Then I had to find out who it was and started asking everyone singing it in my eurotrash techno voice.

I also like Avril, yes it's watered down punk but it's better then the pop princesses and the hip hop iditos that's been pushed in the last handful of years. Plus she's a cutie who wants to be punk and rebellious. Something is intriguing about that.

I agree so much on the list. Kelly Osbourne has zero talent, I wanted to like her but she's awful. Nelly's trash, I don't see any quality in this idiot at all... Madonna has had a good run but maybe it's time to step aside, she's done nothing really of note since "Ray of Light". I liked J-lo first song ever but the rest of her stuff is crap.

I personally had more then enough of Sum 41. Enough with these assclowns. I get it you are a rip-off watered down version of Gob, and to me Gob kind of sucks as well. But atleast once in a while Gob finds a nut and does an interesting song. Sum41 could take thier whacky gimmick and goofy personality and dumb songs and just disappear. Please!




Oh they have the internet on computers now!
Dagent913
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Since: 18.11.02
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#11 Posted on
I'm not a fan of Sum 41, or any band that has to have a number in their name for some reason, but I like their new song. I don't remember what it's called, but in the video, they end up changing their name to The Sums, which I thought was pretty funny.

Apparently, they're going to be opening for Iron Maiden for part of their upcoming tour. I sayeth: Yikes! Get to the show late. All that bloodshed caused by the crowd who doesn't want to see these guys (Maiden fans are not going to want to see these kids) is gonna get messy. On the other hand, Slasher, you're not going to have to deal with them again after that.



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Grimis
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Since: 11.7.02
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#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.29
The world would be a better place if the a black hole sucked New Found Glory and all of the other Blink 182 soundalikes off of this planet. Hell, take Blink 182 as well because their last two albums generally sounds like the same song with about 3 seconds of the guitar riff changed. Yikes.

I'd also like to nominate Kelly Clarkson for the "please let your career sink to porn" award



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tomvejada
Andouille








Since: 2.1.02

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#13 Posted on
Add Sum 41, and Sheryl Crow to the list.





"I just got pinned by a friggin twelve-year-old."

Kurt Angle
spf
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Since: 2.1.02
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#14 Posted on
My problem with Sum 41 and their new video which admittedly is amusing is that you have a band who is essentially a creation of the big record industry. They existed to cash in on trends that were big when they came out (baby punk, white-boy rock rap, etc.) and are a soulless industry creation.

Flash forward a couple of years. The trends have moved on to three chords and thrift store leather and East Village slumming. So rather than simply either accepting their fate as yesterday's news, or attempting to *gasp* improve to the point where they can succeed regardless of current trends, instead they whine about it in a video. As if somehow their highly watered down kiddie-punk were somehow a pure genre which had been raped by the evil machine. Grow up guys. You live by the machine, you die by it. Now get out there and buy that new Mooney Suzuki record!
edit: it is kinda funny when they rename the one kid Sven though. :)

(edited by spf2119 on 24.12.02 1754)


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Cerebus
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Since: 17.11.02

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#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.74

    Originally posted by Dagent913
    I'm not a fan of Sum 41, or any band that has to have a number in their name for some reason...


Ever hear of a group called Front 242? Fucking excellent group!!!







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Brian P. Dermody
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Since: 20.9.02
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#16 Posted on
Front 242 is pretty sweet, and I'll defend Black 47 until my last breath.

The hell with U2, this is political rock/reggae/ hip-hop influenced Irish traditional fusion. A guy rapping over his own uilleann pipes. And songs about bodhrans. So very cool.

But I'm with you on Sum 182 and the like.





Taking a tip from MoeGates, I find that I am Rex Banner, Ty Pennington, Dr. Scott, Berlin-era Bowie, a Snake Print Doc Marten, Jim Morrison, Butch Coolidge, Robocop, Regis Philbin, an Emotional Drunk, Lincoln, Kermit and Ghetto Fabulous. Of course.


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Cerebus
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Since: 17.11.02

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#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.74
How could I forget about Black 47? I feel dumb...

Also, you got 38 Special, 7 Secounds, 10cc, 7 Year Bitch, Old 97's, Spaceman 3, there's a bunch of them that are pretty good.

Now, is this just groups with the number in the name, or can the number be spelled out, as in Ben Folds Five or Pizzicato Five?





You are Silver Surfer!

Dagent913
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Since: 18.11.02
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#18 Posted on
Isn't just the way of things? I give you the rule, everbody points out the exceptions :-) Anyway, I'm going to go check out some of these number bands I've never heard of. With my luck, I'm going to like them and I'll end up looking really stupid on this board....again.



What if your grandfather was a kazoo?



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Bullitt
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Since: 11.1.02
From: Houston

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#19 Posted on

    Originally posted by Dagent913
    I'm not a fan of Sum 41, or any band that has to have a number in their name for some reason, but I like their new song.


And Jurassic 5 and Buck 65 put out some of the best hip-hop stuff of this past year.



"So, sorry sweetie...tootsie-pie...sugarbob...funky bunch."

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Brian P. Dermody
Liverwurst
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Since: 20.9.02
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#20 Posted on
I'm finally catching up with J5, still getting the feel of 'Quality Control' before dropping the cash for the new one. It's damn good though, no?



Taking a tip from MoeGates, I find that I am Rex Banner, Ty Pennington, Dr. Scott, Berlin-era Bowie, a Snake Print Doc Marten, Jim Morrison, Butch Coolidge, Robocop, Regis Philbin, an Emotional Drunk, Lincoln, Kermit and Ghetto Fabulous. Of course.


Modern Humorist
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I remember from when Seasons came out, this board has a lot of Sevendust love, so has anyone picked up this CD/DVD set? The CD's great, a lot of the songs work just as well if not better acoustically.
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