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The W - Music - The Worst Band of all Time?
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bash91
Merguez








Since: 2.1.02
From: Plain Dealing, LA

Since last post: 800 days
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#1 Posted on
Well, according to MSN (msnbc.com) Insane Clown Posse is the worst band ever. Aside from the fact that the worst band ever is in a garage somewhere waiting for George Carlin and a time machine to give them talent, this is still ludicrous. I know that their rankings are totally subjective but saying ICP is worse than any number of bands from from the mid to late eighties is just wrong on so many levels. At least I can laugh at some of ICP's stuff.

Tim



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OlFuzzyBastard
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Since: 28.4.02
From: Pittsburgh, PA

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#2 Posted on
It's actually from Maxim's music mag off-shoot Blender and while I have some issues with the list, I can't think of a more appropriate #1 than a couple of failed pro-wrestler white boy rappers dressed in grease paint taking themselves extremely seriously and being cult-worshipped by a bunch of overweight 14-year-old eternal virgins hanging out in from of Hot Topic pretending to be hardasses who are stupid enough to pay $5 for a bottle of Faygo. I don't mean to personally offend anyone, but if you consider yourself a "Juggalo", you really oughta just put that shotgun in your mouth right now before you and your cousin accidently procreate.

The complete list:
* 1. Insane Clown Posse
* 2. Emerson, Lake and Palmer
* 3. Michael Bolton
* 4. Kenny G
* 5. Starship
* 6. Kansas
* 7. Asia
* 8. Vanilla Ice
* 9. Lee Greenwood
* 10. Air Supply
* 11. Latoya Jackson
* 12. Tin Machine
* 13. Mick Jagger
* 14. Yngwie Malmsteen
* 15. Yanni
* 16. Oingo Boingo
* 17. Benzino
* 18. Pat Boone
* 19. Dan Fogelberg
* 20. Howard Jones
* 21. The Alan Parsons Project
* 22. Primus
* 23. Creed
* 24. Bad English
* 25. Jamiroquai
* 26. Celine Dion
* 27. Colour Me Badd
* 28. Crash Test Dummies
* 29. Skinny Puppy
* 30. Richard Marx
* 31. Arrested Development
* 32. The Hooters
* 33. Japan
* 34. Live
* 35. Paul Oakenfold
* 36. 98 Degrees
* 37. The Doors
* 38. Nelson
* 39. Bob Geldof
* 40. Blind Melon
* 41. Whitesnake
* 42. Rick Wakeman
* 43. Mike and the Mechanics
* 44. Manowar
* 45. Gipsy Kings
* 46. The Spin Doctors
* 47. Goo Goo Dolls
* 48. Master P
* 49. Toad the Wet Sprocket
* 50. Iron Butterfly

The Doors?! Sure, Jim Morrison was hardly the genius he's credited as being - more like a drugged out nutcase - but the music was insanely original and influential, and the band was heavily responsible for the birth of punk rock - the attitude, if nothing else. And Ray Manzarek was an awesome keyboardist.

Actually, I have no real problem with any of the other bands on this list, and the fact that they have the guts to admit that Primus and Yngwie Malmsteen both really suck does my heart good.

(edited by OlFuzzyBastard on 15.8.03 1113)


"George W. Bush is in the middle of his annual 35-day vacation. How many of you get a thirty-five day vacation every year? Yeah, see, that's because they need you at your job... Don't worry, George. Another seventeen months, and you're going to have the longest vacation of your life."
---David Letterman, The Late Show
spf
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02
From: The Las Vegas of Canada

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#3 Posted on
Okay, I have some issues with this list:

6. Kansas - should have been #1. Dust in the Wind is the worst song of all time...

9. Lee Greenwood - EXCEPT for "Proud to be an American" Put him at #2.

21. Alan Parsons Project - Okay, fairly overblown, but give them some points for "Cirrus" which has been the Chicago Bulls entrance forever.

22. Primus - I cannot fathom this. Did Les crap in one of these pseudo-cool throwback guys at Maxim's cornflakes or something?

28. Crash Test Dummies - BAH! Yeah the Hmm hmm song was a bit goofy, but it's fun, and the rest of their stuff wasn't awful.

31. Arrested Development - Okay, it's official, the folks writing this are definitely trying too hard now to be cool and against the grain.

32. The Hooters - WHAT?! Are they still pissed because Eric Bazalian went on to produce Joan Osborne and foist "One of Us" on the world?

34. Live - Easy to parody, yes. But Throwing Copper was a damn solid album.

49. Toad the Wet Sprocket - You get the sense that these guys are pissed off that they went to college in the mid 90's when it wasn't quite as cool to be an illiterate grunt, and are taking it out on the bands who were decent-sized back then.








She was worth 800 miles driving to see her play - Brenda Weiler

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Grimis
Scrapple








Since: 11.7.02
From: MD

Since last post: 1270 days
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#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.29
Bob Geldof should be in the top 5 if only for pissing off the entire music industry.

And call me a nut, but how the FUCK do the Goo Goo Dolls wind up on this list?

EDIT: How can this list be legit at all with Limp Bizkit nowhere to be found?

(edited by Grimis on 15.8.03 1205)


"Each time I've met Huffington, I wondered if she was not somehow the long-lost daughter of Madame Nicolai Ceaucescu, or a genetic cross between Martha Stewart and Count Dracula. Had this Greek-born harpy lived in medieval times, she would have been sewn up in a bag with a rooster and two snakes and thrown into the nearest river."
-- Eric Margolis, Toronto Star
JayJayDean
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02
From: Seattle, WA

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#5 Posted on
Excuse me, but where the fuck are the New Kids on the Block?! And none of those "SweetSensationEnVogueDreamSpiceGirls" let's throw a bunch of semi-hot (sometimes) chicks together and see who'll buy their stuff? But Alan Parsons, Bad English, and Live are all WORSE than Nelson and 98 Degrees? And there's 98 degrees and no Backstreet Boys? No Warrant? No Winger? No Hasselhoff?!

Bah.

(edited by JayJayDean on 15.8.03 0909)

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pieman
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Since: 11.12.01
From: China, Maine

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#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.21


Once again I will say - Lists are stupid.



Though I did chuckle when JayJayDean mentioned Kip Winger.



Gabba Gabba Hey!
Big Bad
Scrapple








Since: 4.1.02
From: Dorchester, Ontario

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#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.54
Vanilla Ice, Michael Bolton, et al. are bands? Uh, okay.

Crash Test Dummies, Arrested Development, Live, Toad TWS, Goo Goo Dolls, Jagger, Primus and Blind Melon DEFINITELY don't deserve to be on this list, and probably 6-12 others don't as well. Amazing how all of the nu-metal bands stinking up our radio stations today get a free pass.






Colin Mochrie


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Since: 10.12.01
From: The KZiM Tower

Since last post: 2023 days
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#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.25
Oh man oh man. Yanni, Kenny G, Michael Bolton ... clearly the kids at Blender have some BIG BIG BALLS to dare deflate these acclaimed artists who are so belovéd by all. Oh the nerve of youth.


10. Air Supply - This is just lazy. I mean, they might as well include Peter Fucking Allen and the Little River Band too while they're at it. Air Supply rock the entire universe. Just the other day we were at the supermarket and they played "Every Woman in the World" and I had a FREAKOUT. Just ask Chris.

11. Latoya Jackson - If only we'd gotten around to watching the video album we just picked up at the city-wide garage sale, I'm sure I would have an awesome defense prepared.

12. Tin Machine - Oooh JEALOUSY. Hunt Sales could kick all their asses while Tony Sales has sex with their wives. Reeves Gabrels, superdreamy.

19. Dan Fogelberg - They only include this because they've all wept openly while listening to "Another Auld Lang Syne" and are deeply ashamed.

20. Howard Jones - I can't even understand this.

21. The Alan Parsons Project - Good God more JEALOUSY. I mean, why not just include Blue Öyster Cult while they're at it? Because they have a badass cowbell song about killing yourself and that's so cool maaaaan? Ahhhh ahhhh.

27. Colour Me Badd - See, if they had any balls they would admit that "All 4 Love" is a badass jam. BECAUSE IT IS.

33. Japan - More JEALOUSY. I think maybe it's because David Sylvian is so pretty and they want to make out with him (while crying and listening to "Another Auld Lang Syne") and it's just so threatening to their manhood. At the very least they could admit their record covers were cool.

36. 98 Degrees - Ah but that "Give Me Just One Bite (Taco Grande)" song was hot though.

41. Whitesnake - More JEALOUSY. "Slide It In" and "Slow an' Easy" alone earn them a place among the Greatest Artists of All Time. Greatest FARTISTS. Hahaha no I kid, those songs rule.

46. The Spin Doctors - Oh come on. Everybody loves "Two Princes" just like everyone loves Madonna's "Borderline." Including the people who say they hate it. (Those people love it the most.)

In conclusion, retarded.



The only thing I enjoy more than doing the crossword puzzle is actually finishing it.
vsp
Andouille








Since: 3.1.02
From: Philly

Since last post: 3035 days
Last activity: 248 days
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.00
    Originally posted by Grimis
    Bob Geldof should be in the top 5 if only for pissing off the entire music industry.

Bah. "I Don't Like Mondays" is his Get Out of Jail Free card for me.

For my money, the worst band ever has to be the rancid ass monkeys responsible for the "Cotton Eye Joe" remixes. They should have their toilet paper secretly replaced with roof insulation.


(edited by vsp on 15.8.03 1034)


"When WCW tries to be racy, it's generally about as light-heartedly entertaining as watching a man rape a woman in a chicken yard." -- Dark Cheetah
spf
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02
From: The Las Vegas of Canada

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#10 Posted on
No, you did not just speak ill of Rednex did you? Please vsp, please say it just ain't so!



She was worth 800 miles driving to see her play - Brenda Weiler

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Grimis
Scrapple








Since: 11.7.02
From: MD

Since last post: 1270 days
Last activity: 1067 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.29

    Originally posted by vsp
    Bah. "I Don't Like Mondays" is his Get Out of Jail Free card for me.

Good point.



"Each time I've met Huffington, I wondered if she was not somehow the long-lost daughter of Madame Nicolai Ceaucescu, or a genetic cross between Martha Stewart and Count Dracula. Had this Greek-born harpy lived in medieval times, she would have been sewn up in a bag with a rooster and two snakes and thrown into the nearest river."
-- Eric Margolis, Toronto Star
James F'n X
Bockwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Seattle, WA

Since last post: 3087 days
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#12 Posted on

    Originally posted by spf2119
    32. The Hooters - WHAT?! Are they still pissed because Eric Bazalian went on to produce Joan Osborne and foist "One of Us" on the world?


Isn't that really reason enough, honestly?




"Is this just your 40 favorites or is there some other criteria involved here? I feel like I'm looking at a list of the 40 best Uruguayan light-heavyweights compiled by the DVDVR boys." - JayJayDean to Feely
Chico Santana
Boudin rouge








Since: 2.7.02
From: Jaaaaamacia Mon, No Problem.

Since last post: 4055 days
Last activity: 4053 days
#13 Posted on
They are just trying to name bands and artist who are known by a good amount of people without really trying to find the obscure trash that was to bad to even listen to. Plus Blender is a horrid music mag, and Maxim aside from the pics is now areally lame for a "mens" magazine.

8.Vanilla Ice: Bandwagon jumpers! The funny thing about this is half the people who dis Ice in their raps are much less talented than he was. He is the white MC Hammer, he went with the bad fashion trend and for some reason will never live it down.

20.Howard Jones: I think they are just upset because their Mamma and Pappa didn't get them MTV when they were little. So they bash one of MTV's first "it" artist, because they couldn't enjoy the music and his fun videos.

22.Primus: "Tommy the cat is my name, and I say unto thee......" Dudes and Laddies "Sailing the Seas of Cheese" is a landmark album. Since hell would be too good for the makers of this list, I think strip club purgatory would due, where the girls are clothed and they only have a penny jar to try and pay them to get naked.

37.The Doors: Eat out my ass! This is on the list because they hate guys who got laid for writing poetry, when all they got was a C in English.

40.Blind Melon: Hippie Haters! So much talent, really great music. A wide range of influences worked into a sounthern rock meets folk and the Dead.

45.The Gipsy Kings: How can you hate a group with that much talent on guitar, A big ass band with awesome music. The writer can't get over being a bunch of Los Lobos fanboys to give these guys a good listen.

46. Spin Doctors: Oh come on more Hippie Hate! This band is off the hook live, and has great guitar hooks as well. The list makers must help run MTV, because MTV didn't give any play to their second Major Label disc the one with "Cleopatra's Favorite Cat". That song is sweet!

(edited by Chico Santana on 15.8.03 1109)


"SAL BANDINI, WANNA WRESTLE?"
The Goon
Boudin blanc
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Since: 2.1.02
From: Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Since last post: 5 days
Last activity: 1 hour
#14 Posted on
The first album I ever owned was the Asia debut LP. That was pure brilliance to me(at the age of 10). So their high ranking is distressing.
Nag
Landjager








Since: 10.1.03
From: Enter your city here

Since last post: 2178 days
Last activity: 233 days
Y!:
#15 Posted on
The complete list:
1. Insane Clown Posse- After OFB's rant, I have no choice but to agree.

6. Kansas- Kansas was alright, far from great mind you, I wouldn't rate them that high or not at all actually I'd much rather Styx be put in this position instead.

22. Primus- I disagree, but I can understand, Primus is one of those bands you some people come to grips with and others can't fathom their exsistance.

25. Jamiroquai- This I found surprising. Back when I was dumb enough to watch MTV, I remember how them and the rest of the music world were hyping these guys as the "Next Big Thing." In my current sabbatical, I'm glad some people came to their senses.

27. Colour Me Badd - Well rip me balls out now! Listening to these guys was like eating chalk, and I've done both.

31. Arrested Development- In this horrible era of rap, the only rap group besides ICP they can come up with is Arrested Developement. I'm not a big fan or better yet wasn't, but they make about the only rap that I find tolerable. Maybe if the subject matter was about ummmm, Killing you wife in front your daughter and stuffing her in your trunk they would be sparred this humiliation.

37. The Doors- Okay, I'm finished.

Overall, I've seen worse, but it seems to stop dead at around 97. Political reasons I'm sure.

I need not rant about the Boy Band era which was pretty much overlooked. But they also forgot about the cheesy ass Nu-Metal bands; Papa Roach, POD and ESPECIALLY Limp Bizkit, all of which, should make the top ten of any worst of list.

Others omitted Grand Funk Railroad, Kiss, Savage Garden, any hair band, any death metal band, and ANY musical group that hit after 1997. I'd also say Megadeth, save for the brilliance of Rust In Piece.



July 4th 1994: It was a bright sunny day in this small Ohio town. All was not bright for the four disfranchised men however, there hearts were not full of patriotic glee, there intentions not set on the social gathering taking place on the cities streets. Flemming, Parish, Sidell, Weigal gathered round the TV to watch Benny Hinn, a loud sound, similar to gunfire startled their medicated hearts. When the four men went to the door, to examine the situation they were greeted with 600 of the towns citizens, chanting in unison. TARDS GO HOME...TARDS GO HOME!!!!

From: The Guzzi Room Project-Volumes 1,2&3 Soon to be available.
StaggerLee
Scrapple








Since: 3.10.02
From: Right side of the tracks

Since last post: 6 days
Last activity: 4 days
#16 Posted on
* 1. Insane Clown Posse (I would agree with them being here)
* 2. Emerson, Lake and Palmer (WTF? Some of the best MUSICIANS in 70s rock? Negro PLEASE!)
* 3. Michael Bolton (should be ranked higher)
* 4. Kenny G (agreed)
* 5. Starship (well, as long as it is this specific encarnation of that band, I agree. How can people who wrote SOMEBODY TO LOVE get away with WE BUILT THIS CITY? Kill that band!)
* 6. Kansas (good 70s rock, but way overblown)
* 7. Asia (Jeesus, they must hate musicians, who can, you know play instruments)
* 8. Vanilla Ice (why is he not higher?)
* 9. Lee Greenwood (one song saved his ass from obscurity)
* 10. Air Supply (well, nobody likes a love song anymore I guess)
* 11. Latoya Jackson (But Germain gets a pass?)
* 12. Tin Machine (agreed. ALthough Bowie Rules)
* 13. Mick Jagger (by himself, yes)
* 14. Yngwie Malmsteen (great guitar talent, band and songs always sucked)
* 15. Yanni (this is understood)
* 16. Oingo Boingo (what? the band that spawned the greatest movie scorer of our generation?)
* 17. Benzino (who?)
* 18. Pat Boone(eh, not my cup of tea)
* 19. Dan Fogelberg (70s crap music)
* 20. Howard Jones(severely underrated as a keyboard player, and song writer. Shouldnt be on the list)
* 21. The Alan Parsons Project (the guy who produced DARK SIDE OF THE MOON wants to make his own music? I have to let him have his fun. Although DONT ANSWER ME was a favorite back in the day)
* 22. Primus (I HATE PRIMUS!)
* 23. Creed (Should be higher, WAY higher)
* 24. Bad English (good musicians, bad music)
* 25. Jamiroquai (Stevie Wonder wannabe)
* 26. Celine Dion (why is she not top 5?)
* 27. Colour Me Badd (Colour me vomiting)
* 28. Crash Test Dummies (again, never saw the hype)
* 29. Skinny Puppy(hey now, punk isnt all that bad, let them off the list)
* 30. Richard Marx (good writer, bad mullet)
* 31. Arrested Development (WTF? Was this a "lets pick on everybody from 85-95 list?)
* 32. The Hooters (anybnody who wrote Cyndi Laupers TIME AFTER TIME cant be all that bad, I will give Bazillin a break from his Joan Osbourn fiasco)
* 33. Japan (nice country, why are they on the list?)
* 34. Live (Mental Jewelry is good, as is throwing copper)
* 35. Paul Oakenfold (who?)
* 36. 98 Degrees (98 degrees is hot, but not as hot as the hell we all endure if we have to listen to them)
* 37. The Doors (PLEASE, PLEASE tell me they didnt just say the Doors. I hate them, but I can see thier brilliance)
* 38. Nelson (Hair Extensions alone earn them a place on the list)
* 39. Bob Geldof (His only pass should be his playing PINK in THE WALL. I dont like mondays is crap)
* 40. Blind Melon (good first album, but no bee girl made in their following videos make them look crappy)
* 41. Whitesnake (Bitch please! WHich version are they talking about? The one with John Sykes is probably one of the best, hard rocking bands of the 80s. The bands before were so good at blues based rock. And, David Coverdale would sing rings around 98% of the "vocalists" today)
* 42. Rick Wakeman (really, are they just picking on anybody with musical talent?)
* 43. Mike and the Mechanics (agreed)
* 44. Manowar (Belong on the list, if for nothing else but thier outfits.)
* 45. Gipsy Kings (SUCKED!)
* 46. The Spin Doctors (should be higher)
* 47. Goo Goo Dolls (FUCK THE GOO GOO DOLLS! Every song is the same! Johnny Reznick, or however you spell it, should be shot on sight, I fucking HATE this band! The Phil Collins of the late 90/early 2000s!)
* 48. Master P (Finally, somebody with a wrestling link!)
* 49. Toad the Wet Sprocket (good band, I wouldnt put them here)
* 50. Iron Butterfly (The band that made keyboards okay in rock music? Well, except for INAGODDADOVIDA everything else sucks. But, any band that can be used to make a song for the Simpsons (in the garden of eden) cant be all that bad!)

tomvejada
Andouille








Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 4075 days
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#17 Posted on
I'm shocked that my pick for Worst Band of All-Time Hanson isn't even on the list.





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jvincion
Linguica








Since: 7.11.02
From: Seattle, WA

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#18 Posted on
Wow, I love how stupid these lists are.

16. Oingo Boingo - Bah. Danny Elfman and crew are hard to digest to the average moronic listmaker that doesn't have Limp Bizkit at #1, but to those of us that do appreciate quirkiness in our music, this is somewhat of a travesty.

22. Primus - While I admit some of their more recent efforts have been rather blah, Frizzle Fry and Sailing the Seas of Cheese brought the awesome. Again, hurra for quirkiness in music.

25. Jamiroquai - Disco/funk gets no love.

29. Skinny Puppy - Oh PUH-LEEZE. One of the most influential industrial bands with some of the most paranoia-inducing abrasive music to come out, and they're on this list?! Just because they're not poppy and hooky like NIN, it doesn't mean they suck.

37. The Doors - Wow, these fuckers are stupid.

44. Manowar - The cheese in their music is EXTREMELY high, but they do play well and put on a entertaining live show.

---

Let's see, Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, Adema, and soooo many other nu-metal and "bling-bling" rap artists need to be on this list.

To Nag, there are a fair amount of death metal bands that don't suck. There are definitely bands I've heard that should be on this list, but bands like Morbid Angel, Carcass, and At The Gates (to name a few) don't belong anywhere near this list. And yes, Rust in Peace is definitely Megadeth's best album, but there's some hilarity to be enjoyed on Countdown to Extinction - Sweating Bullets in particular. :)



Jason Vincion
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Dagent913
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Since: 18.11.02
From: Strong Island

Since last post: 3674 days
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#19 Posted on
My first reaction when I heard about this list was "What the fuck is Blender?" Then I heard that it's just the music version of Maxim, and I thought "Oh, just something else for me not to take seriously."

I mean, I could go and post "Hey fuck them, Primus rules!" and what not, but it's just Maxim, the magazine published by those guys who spend more time tucking in their shirts than they do listening to music.



What if your grandfather was a kazoo?
OndaGrande
Kolbasz








Since: 1.5.03
From: California, Home of THE LAKERS!

Since last post: 11 days
Last activity: 8 hours
#20 Posted on

my additions to the list include Matchbox 20, Dave Matthews (not becuase of the band per say, but his whinning annoys me to no end)and Third Eye Blind. Creed is THE worst band ever. i would rather be locked in a VW Microbus with a Grateful Dead "darkstar" bootleg tape for 24 hours than listen to Creed for 3 minutes.



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