This isn't just a "viral in your face LOL!" thread, friends and neighbors. This is me trying to be proactive, because by all rights this ought to be a sensation in the sports internet deadspin blogospehere.
The Penguins' Evgeni Malkin and Alyonka Larionov, daughter of Igor, make pierogies. I'm not sure who I'm more in love with. Cameos by a mayonegg, Kris "Legend" Letang, Malkin selling a "that's what she said" via wacky face, and Labrum Jones. It has a Fine Babe, Borat-style foreign language humor, fatty food, romance, and zaniness -- I'm not sure how this could appeal more to American viewers.
Hockey's biggest problem, IMO, has been the rapid expansion in recent years. The owners greedy for the quick money an expansion team pays for the rights to a team have mortgaged their future. Now the TV money has to be split up 30 ways.