This isn't just a "viral in your face LOL!" thread, friends and neighbors. This is me trying to be proactive, because by all rights this ought to be a sensation in the sports internet deadspin blogospehere.
The Penguins' Evgeni Malkin and Alyonka Larionov, daughter of Igor, make pierogies. I'm not sure who I'm more in love with. Cameos by a mayonegg, Kris "Legend" Letang, Malkin selling a "that's what she said" via wacky face, and Labrum Jones. It has a Fine Babe, Borat-style foreign language humor, fatty food, romance, and zaniness -- I'm not sure how this could appeal more to American viewers.
For those of you who doubt that Mario Lemieux can still perform, I saw him this morning when I went to watch Penguins training camp. The only thing I can really say is that he seems to have his old form back. He was humiliating the goalies.