This isn't just a "viral in your face LOL!" thread, friends and neighbors. This is me trying to be proactive, because by all rights this ought to be a sensation in the sports internet deadspin blogospehere.
The Penguins' Evgeni Malkin and Alyonka Larionov, daughter of Igor, make pierogies. I'm not sure who I'm more in love with. Cameos by a mayonegg, Kris "Legend" Letang, Malkin selling a "that's what she said" via wacky face, and Labrum Jones. It has a Fine Babe, Borat-style foreign language humor, fatty food, romance, and zaniness -- I'm not sure how this could appeal more to American viewers.
I don't think anyone has a problem with a thriving hockey market getting a team. I personally have a problem with said place being Hamilton, though. Aren't the Sabres and Maple Leafs enough for southern Ontario? Spread the wealth!