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The W - Site Bashing - The Sports Guy reviews Summerslam
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DirtyMikeSeaver
Boudin rouge








Since: 19.5.02
From: Toronto

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 1 day
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.02
Very funny read:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/050822



By the way, Storm's gimmick includes 1.) telling the audience to shut up, and 2.) occasionally making everyone stand for the Canadian national anthem. You know they don't know what to do with a wrestler when he's making fans stand for a national anthem. It's like waving a white flag and saying, "This guy has no personality -- we give up."

ESPN's Bill Simmons
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dwaters
Lap cheong








Since: 16.10.02
From: Connecticut

Since last post: 13 hours
Last activity: 13 hours
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.86
"Meanwhile, my two pooches (Dooze and Rufus) just had their own wrestling match in the TV room, culminating in Rufus triumphantly humping Dooze while holding a stuffed monkey in his mouth. That's Roofie's thing -- if he's humping someone, he needs a stuffed animal in his mouth. And you know what? We don't judge in our house."

LMAO.
Simmons has really been on a roll lately.
The Vile1
Lap cheong








Since: 4.9.02
From: California

Since last post: 1921 days
Last activity: 1653 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.56
This was hilarious. Don't know too much about Bill Simmons, but he seems to know his wrestling quite well.




"Don't compare my arm...to your cheap arm!"
-Edward Elric
StaggerLee
Scrapple








Since: 3.10.02
From: Right side of the tracks

Since last post: 19 hours
Last activity: 14 hours
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Y!:
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.56
Three great quotes:

Yep, Benoit used the German suplex and the Crossface to win the title in about five seconds. Good to see the WWE is still practicing the old SD Jones Policy with black wrestlers -- in other words, come out, dance around, lose in under 20 seconds.


The Sports Gal watches a few minutes, notices that half the crowd is rooting for Jericho and half for Cena, then says, "I think I've figured out wrestling crowds -- it's like the Rocky Horror Picture Show, right? You get dressed up, you get into it, and you pretend it's real?" Um, yeah. Pretty much


Here's my theory: We like seeing the Hulkster win matches with the old Hogan Formula for the same reason we like seeing those dopey reunion shows of "M.A.S.H." or the "Brady Bunch" on TV, or those reunion concerts from the Stones or Bruce or the Eagles, or even those handheld video games where you can play Pong and Intellivision baseball and Donkey Kong. Maybe it's the same stuff, and maybe they're not as good as they were, but they still make you feel like a kid again. It's nostalgia on demand.
CRZ
Big Brother
Administrator








Since: 9.12.01
From: ミネアポリス

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#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.53
You lose by 16 minutes (The W). (post #41 if your postsperpage number is lower than mine)

That Sports Guy, he's really funny. I like when he writes about wrestling because he's really funny. He's a Guy. A Sports Guy. It's always funny when he writes about wrestling because he's writing about wrestling. And it's funny. He's a funny guy. A Funny Sports Guy. And he writes about wrestling.

(edited by CRZ on 22.8.05 1354)


CRZ
hhhgamewmx7
Bockwurst








Since: 15.6.03
From: Eire

Since last post: 3174 days
Last activity: 3152 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.00
I thought it was quite sad, he should stick to talking about something he actually likes and not trying to be funny.



PsychoticMidget
Polska kielbasa








Since: 2.12.04
From: Detroit, MI

Since last post: 3030 days
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#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.77
I read Simmons religiously, and with all his drops about HBK-Hogan in his columns before today, I was wondering if we'd get a running diary on it from him. Good stuff.



We're the middle children of history...no purpose or place. We have no Great War, no Great Depression. Our great war, our defining crucible, is a spiritual war.

GoBlues77
Longanisa








Since: 5.1.02
From: St. Charles, MO

Since last post: 3257 days
Last activity: 3190 days
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#8 Posted on
Out of context from the article

"A furious Undertaker storms off to get a chemical peel and butt implants."

Scary thought...



Pedro Cerrano: Jesus, I like him very much, but he no help with curveball.
Eddie Harris: You trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?
Alessandro
Lap cheong








Since: 2.1.02
From: Worcester MA

Since last post: 41 days
Last activity: 19 days
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.04
Someone didn't like it ...






UNLESH THE ANIMAL - Sign in crowd highlighted by brilliant WWE cameraman during Batista's drafting on Smackdown!




PsychoticMidget
Polska kielbasa








Since: 2.12.04
From: Detroit, MI

Since last post: 3030 days
Last activity: 3030 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.77
Ah, Eric S is just a bitter old man who's completely unable to be entertained anymore. If he even ever posessed a sense of humor to begin with.

Feel free to move this post to Site Bashing mods. :p



We're the middle children of history...no purpose or place. We have no Great War, no Great Depression. Our great war, our defining crucible, is a spiritual war.

dwaters
Lap cheong








Since: 16.10.02
From: Connecticut

Since last post: 13 hours
Last activity: 13 hours
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.86
Wow, Eric S. gets the Sean Penn award for having absolutely no sense of humor whatsover. Chill out man, it's just a humor column.
I will admit Simmons appears to know more than he lets on about the current product, but it's still funny.
drjayphd
Scrapple
Moderator








Since: 22.4.02
From: Long Island

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#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.57
Not only that, but he doesn't understand the audience. Simmons isn't writing for us, he's writing for sports fans who stopped paying attention to wrestling back in the heyday of Hogan y Michaels.

(punts)



You wanted the best, you got... Out of Context Quote of the Week.

"...but that doesn't mean he can't relate an amusing anecdote about the Haiti Kid and one of the Frenchman's testicles." (Hogan's My Dad)

BigSteve
Pepperoni








Since: 23.7.04
From: Baltimore, MD

Since last post: 2750 days
Last activity: 2478 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.93
I found this line ironic given how much he chastises Sports Guy for "not doing research" (from the Inside Pulse column):


    Of course, I can say this with impunity because Simmons admits that he doesn't read wrestling websites. If he did, though, you know he's the type who'd just read wwe.com and nothing else.


Actually, Meltzer often links to Simmons columns that mention wrestling, and he almost always says how Simmons is a former Observer subscriber who doesn't watch the TV anymore. Some people who write wrestling columns take themselves way too seriously.

(edited by BigSteve on 24.8.05 1510)
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A) I thought once he got busted ("lol ill pretend u said 18" still cracks me up), he gave up his share of ROH but kept RF Video, did I remember that wrong? B) Yeah, what ever happened with that? Did the police ever press charges or what?
- DJ FrostyFreeze, RF Video is teh suck (2006)
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