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The W - Pro Wrestling - The Royal Rumble 1989
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BigDaddyLoco
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Since: 2.1.02

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#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.52
So, that match in 1988 turned out to be a nice little hit, so Vince and the gang put it on PPV and upped the number of competitors from 20 to 30. There is still no reward here other than pride. Your announcers are Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura.

This thing starts off so badass. 1989 me was flipping out and this is still pretty cool today. Fink announces #1 Demolition Ax and #2, holshit, is that Demolition music ... Demolition Smash. Ax and Smash don't waste any time pandering to the crowd with the what do I do stuff they just go right to battle with each other. Ax and Smash beat the piss out of each other for two minutes and both get near eliminations on one another and here comes #3 ... are you kidding me it's Andre the Giant! Ax and Smash stop fight and double clothesline Andre off his feet and then unload with ax handles and choke him out. Andre is able to finally get back to his feet and fights them both off long enough to see who #4 is, and it's Mr Perfect in blue wrestling trunks. Perfect joins the fight against Andre who has finally had enough of this 3 on 1 business and just tosses Smash out of the ring like a rag doll. Ax and Perfect now work over Andre. It's amazing how much Perfect looks like Ziggler here, in his tiny trunks while bouncing around for Andre's offense like a rubber ball. Ronnie Garvin is #5 and helps tie Andre in the ropes. #6 is Greg Valentine who ignores his feud with current rival Ronnie Garvin and goes after Andre making it 4 on 1. Andre is able to fight them off again and he eliminates Garvin. #7 is Jake the Snake who is currently feuding with Andre and Jake goes right for him. Jake's attack goes nowhere and Andre chokes the life out of Jake. #8 is Ron Bass. Andre finishes off Jake and eliminates him and then goes after Valentine who was circling Andre like a gnat for the last six minutes.

#9 is a young baby faced Shawn Michaels. Mr Perfect tosses Ax. Perfect throws out Michaels ... oh but Shawn Michaels does his famous hang on to the top, pop back in hit and the guy celebrating in the back move which makes Perfect pogo over a rope only he lands on an apron as well. #10 is Bushwacker Butch while the crowd goes wild for some reason, only it is not for the arrival of Bushwacker Butch. Jake is back with Damian! Jake slides into the ring and releases the snake which sends Andre running for the hills. Andre eliminates himself from the match trying to get away. Jake stands in the ring with Damian. Andre doesn't mess around and just leaves. Andre the Giant is still deathly afraid of snakes.

#11 comes down and it's The Honky Tonk Man. #12 is Tito Santana. Right now would be a good time to gimmick the clock, there really isn't a whole lot happening since Andre left. #13 is Bad News Brown. Honky Tonk Man gets tossed by Butch and Santana of all people. Shawn Michaels becomes the first person to go off the top rope in a Rumble and #14 Marty Jannetty runs in and gets clobbered right away. Michaels joins forces with Jannetty and they double up on Ron Bass and double drop kick him out of the ring.

The Heavyweight Champion The Macho Man Randy Savage is number #15 and he runs down in his bandana and glasses and starts throwing wild punches at Bad News Brown while still wearing them. The crowd loves it, Savage throws his head gear off like a madman. Valentine attacks him from behind and all of Savage's momentum has just been killed. #16 is Arn Anderson. Savage eliminates Valentine while Arn gets into the ring. Arn Anderson crosses the face/heel party line and teams up with the Macho Man to eliminate Shawn Michaels. Arn Anderson later goes up to the top rope for some reason and gets crotched by Jannetty. Arn's partner Tully Blanchard is #17. This is a pretty great lineup in the ring right now Anderson, Blanchard, Jannetty, Savage, Bad News, Perfect, Santana and well, Butch. It's a group of guys that know how to fill time without relying on laying on the ropes. Anderson and Blanchard work over Jannetty and throw him out.

#18 is Hulk Hogan. He launches Perfect over the top. He then gives Arn and Tully a double noggin knocker. Hogan goes to eliminate Bad News Brown who surprisingly fights back against Hogan's onslaught. Tito Santana gets eliminated off camera. Bushwacker Luke is #19. Bad News eliminates Butch. Hogan presses Blanchard and almost takes his head off throwing him into the ropes. Yikes that was ugly. Big Boot to Arn Anderson and #20 Koko B Ware is here. Arn gets caught on the top rope, Ric Flair style this time, by Hogan and gets thrown across the ring. Hogan eliminates Koko, thanks for showing up Koko. Hogan the eliminates Luke. #21 is The Warlord, while he runs to the ring Hogan turns the tables on Arn and Tully and eliminates them both with a double clothesline. The Warlord gets on the apron, poses, gets in the ring and gets tossed by Hogan in one second.

Hogan then dumps Bad News Brown who is working over Savage on the ropes. Bad News takes Savage with him and Hogan is the only one left. Savage has a problem with this and jumps back into the ring and confronts Hogan which brings out Elizabeth who tries to calm Savage down while Hogan does his I didn't mean to spiel. Macho is hot and looks like he might explode but finally decides that he's cool and wants a handshake and Hogan shakes his hand and the Mega Powers hug it out. #22 The Big Bossman breaks up the lovefest. He circles Hogan, but Hogan isn't having it and destroys Bossman. Bossman fights back and hits an Avalanche and then hits a Spike Piledriver! Big fat splash misses and here comes #23 Akeem the African Dream. Some back and forth fighting, but a Double Fatass Avalanche kills Hogan and they eliminate him! Hogan throws a tantrum and pulls Bossman out the bottom rope and they fight outside. #24 is Brutus Beefcake who has to fight both Akeem and Bossman alone only Hogan hasn't left the ringside area and he eliminates Bossman because Hogan is a fucking poor sport and he beats Bossman all the way to the back, throws him into a table and hits him with a briefcase. Ventura says that's what Hulkamania is all about.

#25 The Red Rooster. #26 The Barbarian who saves Akeem then he fights Akeem. Monsoon and Ventura think that was a dumb thing to do, but he did it. #27 is Big John Studd who goes after Akeem. #28 Hercules. #29 Rick Martel. This thing has gotten really crappy. In one corner you have Studd and Akeem fighting and any time someone goes to that corner Studd throws them away. The other guys don't seem to know what else to do so they just all hang out on the ropes struggling with elimination. Here comes #30 The Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase and the big story is that he bought his #30 spot in the Rumble.

So there are eight guys left with Dibiase being the only one who is relevant for the time. Dibiase eliminates The Red Rooster. Beefcake puts a sleeper on Hercules. Dibiase and The Barbarian sneak up behind them and eliminate them both. Barbarian Powerslams Martel and the hits a diving headbutt from the top halfway across the ring. He then misses Martel with a clothesline and eliminates himself. Your Final Four are Akeem, Martel, Studd and Dibiase. Martel is a house on fire, but he bounces off Akeem and he goes out. Dibiase and Akeem work over Studd. Then Dibiase stops doing anything and just tells Akeem what to do. Studd grabs Dibiase while he is giving instructions mid move and Dibiase gets squashed by Akeem. Akeem then gets tossed. Dibiase tries to buy off Big John Studd, but Big John Studd doesn't have a price. Studd catches Dibiase and Chokeslams him into the corner, body slam, double arm suplex, gutwrench suplex. Big John Studd is a Suplex Machine! Jesse Ventura is telling Monsoon not to count Dibiase out right as Studd eliminates Dibiase. Virgil attacks and Studd destroys him, and eliminates him for the hell of it. Big John Studd is the winner of the 2nd Royal Rumble.

This was an interesting Rumble. It started off really strong with Demolition colliding and guys bouncing off Andre. Andre had nothing left in the tank at this point, but he could still do his swat the little guys around after they pile on him routine. After he left the match hit a slow spot until Savage, Arn and Tully showed up. On one hand it's too bad they wasted so much talent for the Hogan section, but on the other it was a good ten minutes of Rumble action even for today. The problem was everyone after the Mega Powers explode spot were either terrible or not very relevant making for a big who gives a fuck ending. To be fair this was a learning experience for the WWF. The good was very good and the bad was pretty bad. Pacing and spacing your stars was something they just didn't consider yet. This was a PPV, but it was mostly used as Mega Powers story advancement. It's worth watching for the high points and even to see where the Rumble has improved along the way. I hate to be a thumbs in the middle guy, but I give it a thumbs in the middle.

(edited by BigDaddyLoco on 3.1.15 2036)
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Well this probably isn't COMPLETELY relevant to the wrestling folder, but I was really curious about Angle's (and Orndorff's) atrophying arms. Mainly I'm worried because I recently suffered an injury where I seem to now be weaker on my right side.
- FurryHippie, Angle arms? (2005)
Related threads: The Royal Rumble 1988 - The Royal Rumble 2014 - What's your favorite Rumble *moment*? - More...
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