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The W - Pro Wrestling - "The Ross Report" Report
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Kawshen
Liverwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Bronx, NY

Since last post: 2019 days
Last activity: 279 days
AIM:  
#1 Posted on
OK, let's take a look at this week's propoganda (wink) from our resident Head Talent Scout:

- Big Show injured UT's lower back on SD. Rumble questionable. UT haters rejoice.

- Regal had 3 surgeries on his nose. Back in a week. I hope you've had fun with your belt, Edge.

- Vince got stitches after blading on SD.

- Puts over HHH. Big surprise.

- Nash not signed. Don't listen those damn smarks.

- "SmackDown! last night in Washington, D.C., had its moments of questionable execution but overall, I felt like we had a very solid show in front of 17,000 fans". Yeah, JR. Why don't you just say the show was FLAT?

- Puts over Flair returning to MSG.

- Hardys and Lita are taking a break. They're not in trouble. Again, don't listen those damn smarks.

- Still working on Cruiserwight plans. He means it this time. Yeah... sure, JR. You fired ELIX~! Screw you.

- Torrie and Stacy taping for Tough Enough II.

- Val Venis on tour in Canada.

- House shows appearances for Randy Orton, Brock Lesnar, Rico Constantino,, Ron Waterman, Prototype, Shelton Benjamin, Leviathan and some other OVW peeps. Observer is afraid Leviathan will start Goldberg chants.

- Shawn Stasiak will be back soon. Yay.

- The Ambiguously Gay Duo of Billy Gunn and Chuck Paulmbo "seem to be developing into an entertaining tag team and in time could be one of our better duos." O.... K.

- Apparently, DDP's a face now.

- Travel problems for Rikishi no-showing SD and likewise for Bossman. Why couldn't the BOSSMAN have no-showed?

- Angle in AT&T commercial. Though, I really want another KANE commercial.

- More books coming, possibly including one from Classy Freedy Blassie. I guess we'll be seeing "Time to Play the Game" by Paul Levesque on the shelves soon, eh?

- The Coach really DOES dig Barry Manilow. IMO, disturbing.

- Wishes the Brain well in his bout with throat cancer. Heenan rules.

- Hollywood Rock back to shooting Scorpion King. Won't miss much TV since HHH will be back to running the show again. I kid, I kid.

- Benoit and Tajiri (w/ Torrie) to Japan in March (for their Asia tour).

- Earl Hebner's brother had knee surgery. Dave Hebner fans rejoice.

- Bull Buchanan's returning soon w/ a new gimmick. Yay.

- Malenko's begun his agent duties. "Dean should especially be a great help to the cruiserweights, among others." *sigh* You know, I only HALF-trust that statement.

- Puts over Jazz, despite her lack of mic skills. Well, I actually like Jazz (seen her in ECW) so I'll let him have that one.

- HHH on "Regis and Kelly" on Monday. Pedigree the old bastard, Hunter. (I mean Regis)

- "Booker T. is really starting to come into his own." Oh, come ON, JR. I admit to being a mark for the Bookerman... but REALLY. And the fact that you stuck Bossman of all people with him. And, above all... he doesn't consult THE HAND~! as much anymore!

- Puts over Dudley Durability. Well, Buh-Buh is an awesome seller for a 300-pounder. D-Von is great seller too and does the OLDSKOOL twitching sometimes. Spike is actually the durable Dudley. Now, that we've covered that... let's give these guys something to do, eh?

- Puts over Heel Jericho but says Flair was the best at the heel game. OK. I'll give him that one (though I'm surprised-uh he didn't mention-uh... oh, never mind-uh). Have him remain the Unified World Champion until WM18 and you'll be in my good graces.

- As usual, ends with college football banter. Go OK. I'm bitter he does this since my almamater's football team SUCKS.

There you go.



~kawshen~
Fear THE HAND~! of the Bookerman.... SUCKA!
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Fazzle
Kishke








Since: 2.1.02
From: Wilmington, NC

Since last post: 3638 days
Last activity: 3239 days
#2 Posted on
Holy Kau! You mean DDP's still employed?





(edited by Fazzle on 4.1.02 1947)
cfgb
Bierwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Ottawa, Ontario

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 1 hour
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.87
Still working on Cruiserwight plans.

In other words, the Hardys return in 6 weeks...

Oh, you mean that's NOT what your interpretation was?




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Tragic1
Chourico








Since: 2.1.02
From: Rolling Meadows, Illinois

Since last post: 4431 days
Last activity: 4422 days
#4 Posted on
Originally posted by cfgb
Still working on Cruiserwight plans.

In other words, the Hardys return in 6 weeks...

Oh, you mean that's NOT what your interpretation was?




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Well, considering JR said they'll be back sometime next week, no. I'd say Hardys/Dudleys again since Ass Chuck is the only other team out there.
Rush4Life
Summer sausage








Since: 2.1.02
From: Tacoma, WA

Since last post: 119 days
Last activity: 76 days
#5 Posted on
How about that....spend all that money to cap that geezer's teeth and not use him! good way to spend money!!! i agree, HHH should Pedigree Regis. "is that-uh your-uh final answer-uh?"



Rush4Life

"I believed what I was told, I thought it was a good life, I thought I was happy. Then I found something that changed it all...." -Anonymous, 2112
cfgb
Bierwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Ottawa, Ontario

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 1 hour
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.87
Hmmm, it'll be curious to see if JR meant in one week they'll be working house shows or television.




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Ubermonkeys
Frankfurter








Since: 2.1.02
From: Michigan

Since last post: 3579 days
Last activity: 3453 days
AIM:  
#7 Posted on
You know what's just fucking WONDERFUL?

At 6:13pm, the Observer had an update that mentioned Taker's injury, but said it was caused by him "taking the choke slam from Big Bossman."

At 6:39pm, the Torch also had a similar update, saying that "Undertaker suffered a lower back injury from Big Bossman's chokeslam."

1. Did they actually WATCH SmackDown?

2. Does ANYBODY proofread these things? These aren't exactly fucking J0hNnYdX's Nooz B0aRdS type sites. And it's copy and paste type shit from the WWF site.

3. The Torch is even worse because they OBVIOUSLY stole the incorrect story from the Observer site. So they doubly fucked up.


FUCKERS! The whole fucking lot. Fuck.



I'M A TOOL, PLEASE KICK ME IN THE JUNK


(edited by Ubermonkeys on 4.1.02 2046)
Tragic1
Chourico








Since: 2.1.02
From: Rolling Meadows, Illinois

Since last post: 4431 days
Last activity: 4422 days
#8 Posted on
Originally posted by cfgb
Hmmm, it'll be curious to see if JR meant in one week they'll be working house shows or television.




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Well, The Rick was nice enough to remind us that Lita will be in an upcoming issue of Rolling Stone. So at least she'd be on TV.
TheMarketingMajor
Bauerwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: University of Pittsburgh, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

Since last post: 4267 days
Last activity: 4218 days
AIM:  
#9 Posted on
Originally posted by Kawshen

- House shows appearances for Randy Orton, Brock Lesnar, Rico Constantino,, Ron Waterman, Prototype, Shelton Benjamin, Leviathan and some other OVW peeps. Observer is afraid Leviathan will start Goldberg chants.



Why in the blue hell is he bringing these guys up when he can't even come up with storylines for half the guys currently on the roster? I know he says they're for house shows, by why aren't they using guys the fans might possibly recognize like Dreamer, Chavo, Saturn etc?

There's always the chance a couple of those guys could put on a match that might actually hype the crowd or sumtin.







Here we go Stillers......Here We Go!!!

(edited by Guru Zim on 4.1.02 2222)
spf
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02
From: The Las Vegas of Canada

Since last post: 4 days
Last activity: 18 hours
AIM:  
#10 Posted on
I think with the rooks you're dealing with the potential conundrum. We know Dreamer, Saturn, Chavo, etc. However in most cases, with the possible exception of Chavo, it is safe to assume that we know the upper limit of what these guys are capable of in the WWF. Each of these young kids though still has the curse/blessing of possibly being the next Kurt Angle-type who breaks out as a huge new star grown by the WWF. At some point you have to clear the old solid vets of the bench and start giving the new kids PT.



There, I feel better now.
Yun
Salami








Since: 2.1.02
From: Just outside Dudleyville

Since last post: 3306 days
Last activity: 3254 days
AIM:  
#11 Posted on
- Nash not signed. Don't listen those damn smarks.

Didn't they the same thing about DDP right up until he showed up on TV?



Once you start down the smark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.

Yun Cheolsu (FKA Cactus Jon)
Foley Mark
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Just Plain Mark
Author
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High Priest of the Temple of Spork
CajunMan
Boudin blanc
No longer registered








Since: 2.1.02
From: Give me a Title shot!

Since last post: 1160 days
Last activity: 297 days
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.00
Get Well Soon Bobby Heenan!

I guess he was a Smoker?

Didn't Lita have on her website that the Hardy's have been suspended till after the Royal Rumble?



LSU FOOTBALL: 2001 SEC CHAMPIONS, 2002 SUGAR BOWL CHAMPIONS!
WaxyBo
Cotto








Since: 2.1.02
From: New York

Since last post: 606 days
Last activity: 325 days
AIM:  
Y!:
#13 Posted on
You stole this idea from JayGo.



Subversia: It's Spanish for "Home of the Whopper"

The SWF: It's Magically Delicious

In This Very Ring: This guy, this is the guy...
JayGo
Cotechino








Since: 2.1.02
From: Norfolk, England

Since last post: 255 days
Last activity: 228 days
AIM:  
#14 Posted on
I was going to say that.

You stole that reply from JayGo.



JayGo
Feeling My current mood @ www.imood.com, thanks for asking.
Has nothing to do with either ITVR, or the SWF. Honest.
WaxyBo
Cotto








Since: 2.1.02
From: New York

Since last post: 606 days
Last activity: 325 days
AIM:  
Y!:
#15 Posted on
Just backin' ya up, bro.



Subversia: It's Spanish for "Home of the Whopper"

The SWF: It's Magically Delicious

In This Very Ring: This guy, this is the guy...
CajunMan
Boudin blanc
No longer registered








Since: 2.1.02
From: Give me a Title shot!

Since last post: 1160 days
Last activity: 297 days
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.00
How exactly did I steal it???? Proof??????

Are you talking about someone else?





LSU FOOTBALL: 2001 SEC CHAMPIONS, 2002 SUGAR BOWL CHAMPIONS!
WaxyBo
Cotto








Since: 2.1.02
From: New York

Since last post: 606 days
Last activity: 325 days
AIM:  
Y!:
#17 Posted on
Not YOU. I was talking to Kawshen. He took the idea for the Ross Report Report from JayGo.



Subversia: It's Spanish for "Home of the Whopper"

The SWF: It's Magically Delicious

In This Very Ring: This guy, this is the guy...
JayGo
Cotechino








Since: 2.1.02
From: Norfolk, England

Since last post: 255 days
Last activity: 228 days
AIM:  
#18 Posted on
Being honest, I don't think doing a report of the Ross Report was strictly my idea, you know.

In fact, the best bit was the title. That was me. And yes, that was nicked...



JayGo
Feeling My current mood @ www.imood.com, thanks for asking.
Has nothing to do with either ITVR, or the SWF. Honest.
Quezzy
Knackwurst








Since: 6.1.02
From: Pittsburgh, PA

Since last post: 7 days
Last activity: 1 day
#19 Posted on
"- Shawn Stasiak will be back soon. Yay."

Does this mean he is back from some injury and will be competing in OVW/HWA, or does this mean he is coming back to WWF tv?

"- Bull Buchanan's returning soon w/ a new gimmick. Yay."

Anybody have any idea what his gimmick will be? What's he been doing in the minors?
Freeway
Scrapple








Since: 3.1.02
From: Calgary

Since last post: 365 days
Last activity: 53 days
#20 Posted on
FAMOUS FRICK-UPS BY WWF PROPAGANDA MACHINE:

"Our wrestlers don't use steroids..."
"Bret screwed Bret"
"We haven't been negotiating with Paul Wight or Chris Jericho. Not all all...nope..."
"Nah, we didn't sign Tazz..."
"Nah, we haven't been in contact with Chris Benoit or anybody else..."
"Nah, we didn't buy WCW...well, maybe we did, but we're gonna keep them as seperate promotions... Well, maybe not, but we're not gonna bury the WCW wrestlers... Well, maybe not every WCW wrestler. I mean, that Buff Bagwell has talent written all over him..."

I think we all know the golden rule: "Whatever The Ross Report says, the opposite is true."



Benoitaholic #258
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Surely I am not the only one who had a TUESDAY NIGHT TITANS vibe when watching the strip poker BS. Still not terribly impressed with Punk.
- StaggerLee, ECW 10-10-06 (2006)
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