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The W - Pro Wrestling - The RAW Rules
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MightyBastard
Pinkelwurst








Since: 4.5.03
From: Cleveland, OH

Since last post: 3820 days
Last activity: 3702 days
#1 Posted on
OK, after the past few RAW episodes I think I've figured out some of the rules on understanding the booking and storylines of RAW.

Rule 1: Steve Austin is smarter and tougher than anyone on the roster. He can beat up any and all of the wrestlers, intimidate everyone, and outthink everyone. No matter what you do, Austin will never look bad to anyone.

Rule 2: The HHH/McMahon rule. Unlike Austin, these guys WILL look bad... briefly. However, in the end they will stand victorious. That is why HHH never crosses Steve Austin- it leads to a paradox with rule 1.

Rule 3: Eric Bischoff. Eric's job is to look bad to Austin, and once in a while to someone else (usually a McMahon). However, since he's humiliiated by Austin every single time, he must regain his heat, usually by out-witting the other wrestlers. This builds him up just enough for Austin to tear down again.

Rule 4: Chris Jericho is very talented and very over with the fans. His job is to carry wrestlers with less talent who are not over and make them look good, usually at his expense.

Rule 5: The other wrestlers on the roster are random. Some will be shown prominently for several weeks, then disappear for months. The important thing is that they follow rules 1-3.

Rule 6: There are some talented women wrestlers. There are some women in the fed who are not talented in the ring but look good. Either type can be in a match at any time. The women who are there for looks will be associated with a male wrestler, but the pairing will not serve any purpose (see Steiner/Kiebler, Rico/Jackie).





"Most human problems can be solved by an appropriate charge of high explosives"- Blaster, Uncommon Valor
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InVerse
Bierwurst








Since: 26.8.02

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 1 day
#2 Posted on
You put way too much thought into some imaginary rules about a show where guys pretend to beat each other up.
fuelinjected
Banger








Since: 12.10.02
From: Canada

Since last post: 3262 days
Last activity: 3262 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.15
You gotta add to Rule 1 because Austin was outsmarted by Kane but it to Rule 2.

So Rule 1a is if a wrestler outsmarts Austin, they will promptly be outsmarted by a McMahon. And somewhere somehow Bischoff will be humiliated.

Also, Triple H did outsmart Austin. He got him run over with a car and when Austin thought he had his revenge by dropping him to his death, Triple H no sold death. Triple H beat Austin two months later, then got Austin to side with him and walk behind him as the 2 Man Power Trip. HHH had outsmarted Austin causing a rift in the time/space continuum resulting in a major quad injury for HHH.
Chico Santana
Boudin rouge








Since: 2.7.02
From: Jaaaaamacia Mon, No Problem.

Since last post: 4054 days
Last activity: 4052 days
#4 Posted on

    Originally posted by fuelinjected
    Also, Triple H did outsmart Austin. He got him run over with a car and when Austin thought he had his revenge by dropping him to his death, Triple H no sold death. Triple H beat Austin two months later, then got Austin to side with him and walk behind him as the 2 Man Power Trip. HHH had outsmarted Austin causing a rift in the time/space continuum resulting in a major quad injury for HHH.


It is nice to see that your up to date with the current storylines. Hunter no sold death like you no sold the meaning of this post.

And Rule 7)the Austin character is awful. a)Austin is the Raw's token cripple. b) Gowen sells more.

I think MightyBastard did a ok job summing up how predictable the characters of Raw have become. Would this have been better in the Raw thread? Maybe but give the guy a break.



"SAL BANDINI, WANNA WRESTLE?"
TheCheat
Tocino








Since: 8.7.03
From: Strongbadia

Since last post: 3334 days
Last activity: 3304 days
#5 Posted on
Forgive me for asking, but ... how did HHH no-sell death? Is this kinda like how Hogan threw the Giant off a skyscraper, only to wrestle him later without a scratch?



"I said consummate V's! CONSUMMATE!" - Strong Bad
Tribal Prophet
Andouille








Since: 9.1.02
From: Winnipeg, MB, Canada

Since last post: 66 days
Last activity: 8 hours
#6 Posted on

    Originally posted by Chico Santana

      Originally posted by fuelinjected
      Also, Triple H did outsmart Austin. He got him run over with a car and when Austin thought he had his revenge by dropping him to his death, Triple H no sold death. Triple H beat Austin two months later, then got Austin to side with him and walk behind him as the 2 Man Power Trip. HHH had outsmarted Austin causing a rift in the time/space continuum resulting in a major quad injury for HHH.


    It is nice to see that your up to date with the current storylines. Hunter no sold death like you no sold the meaning of this post.

    And Rule 7)the Austin character is awful. a)Austin is the Raw's token cripple. b) Gowen sells more.

    I think MightyBastard did a ok job summing up how predictable the characters of Raw have become. Would this have been better in the Raw thread? Maybe but give the guy a break.



Just for the record, fuelinjected, I thought your post was great. Then again, I wasn't expecting this thread to turn into another bitter "I hate writers" thread.


Tribal Prophet

ps. TheCheat: Yeah, Austin dropped Triple H while he was in a car or something only to have Triple H return a couple weeks later, perfectly fine and dandy.



Wrestling exists in the eternal present. What is, has always been, and when it no longer is, it never was. It has no past and no future, and sometimes even today is in question. - Madame Manga

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InVerse
Bierwurst








Since: 26.8.02

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 1 day
#7 Posted on

    Originally posted by Tribal Prophet
    Yeah, Austin dropped Triple H while he was in a car or something only to have Triple H return a couple weeks later, perfectly fine and dandy.


Which, of course, is negated by the fact that HHH was never in the car and they said as much on the show. Except when you factor that bit of information into the story, it removes the excuse to bitch about HHH, so it's conveniently forgotten most of the time.
deadbeater3
Chipolata








Since: 17.11.02

Since last post: 3965 days
Last activity: 3873 days
#8 Posted on
Another rule: when someone us busting her ass off getting others over, by even pinning herself while the winner wasn't even touching her, give her the title pronto!

2. Have same person pin herself in a match, thus retaining the title. I think Molly just might pull it off.

3. Trish always get title shot aginst heel champ. Anybody but Trish please!

(edited by deadbeater3 on 12.8.03 0054)

The divas should not be about T&A, they should be about Kicking A.
fuelinjected
Banger








Since: 12.10.02
From: Canada

Since last post: 3262 days
Last activity: 3262 days
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.15

    Originally posted by InVerse

      Originally posted by Tribal Prophet
      Yeah, Austin dropped Triple H while he was in a car or something only to have Triple H return a couple weeks later, perfectly fine and dandy.


    Which, of course, is negated by the fact that HHH was never in the car and they said as much on the show. Except when you factor that bit of information into the story, it removes the excuse to bitch about HHH, so it's conveniently forgotten most of the time.



I've seen it several times and they cut to a shot of HHH screaming for mercy in the car at the top of the forklift before it's dropped. I don't remember them providing a plausible reason as to how HHH could have escaped? I just remember them saying that he was lucky and the injuries weren't severe.
dMr
Andouille








Since: 2.11.02
From: Edinburgh, Scotland

Since last post: 44 days
Last activity: 13 hours
#10 Posted on

    Originally posted by fuelinjected
    I just remember them saying that he was lucky and the injuries weren't severe.


Exactly. So why are people still wittering on about how HHH no sold death?

He. Got. Lucky.

People can fall out of planes at very large heights and live. Believe it or not these folks are not no selling death. They are lucky.

Why on earth would the WWE (or F as it was then) take one of their biggest names, and one of the chief protagonists in their highest profile feuds, off television for an extended period of time when he wasnt really injured.

Yup thats right. HHH WAS NOT REALLY INJURED. Stone Cold was. He wasn't being a big man for the company and doing his best to sell an injury. He had a broken neck.

The Stone Cold/HHH feud was one of the best I've seen the WWE do from a booking point of view in a long long time. The3 reaction the crowds were giving those guys throughout the fued would seem to support that theory.



    Triple H beat Austin two months later


What ever were they thinking of putting over the younger guy without the broken neck?



    Triple H beat Austin two months later, then got Austin to side with him and walk behind him as the 2 Man Power Trip


No, an increasingly paranoid Austin, worried about his ability to stay at the top, joined Vince who happened to be aligned with HHH at that time.



fuelinjected
Banger








Since: 12.10.02
From: Canada

Since last post: 3262 days
Last activity: 3262 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.15
Thanks for sucking the good nature out of this post, wow.
dMr
Andouille








Since: 2.11.02
From: Edinburgh, Scotland

Since last post: 44 days
Last activity: 13 hours
#12 Posted on

    Originally posted by fuelinjected
    Thanks for sucking the good nature out of this post, wow.


Sorry man. Wasn't intending to cause any great offense but the 'HHH no sold death thing' is about as old as the hills and gets, well, a little bit wearing after a while.

But just for you I'll cut back on the caffeine ;)



StampedeFan23
Morcilla








Since: 12.1.02
From: BC, Canada

Since last post: 2052 days
Last activity: 1588 days
#13 Posted on
Rule 7: There is NOOOO rule 7!



Are you ready for Mahkan-mania to run wild all over you?

I mark for Molly Holly and Lance Storm.
Cactus Adam
Pinkelwurst








Since: 12.5.02
From: Dallas, TX

Since last post: 2506 days
Last activity: 544 days
#14 Posted on
    Originally posted by InVerse
    You put way too much thought into some imaginary rules about a show where guys pretend to beat each other up.


Uh, this is a pro wrestling message board. Don't most people here spend a whole lotta time/thought on "a show where guys pretend to beat each other up"?

(edited by Cactus Adam on 12.8.03 1248)


"That's what you get for not hailing to the chimp."
Kevintripod
Boudin blanc








Since: 11.5.03
From: Mount Pleasant, Pa.

Since last post: 6 hours
Last activity: 6 hours
AIM:  
#15 Posted on
I've seen it several times and they cut to a shot of HHH screaming for mercy in the car at the top of the forklift before it's dropped. I don't remember them providing a plausible reason as to how HHH could have escaped? I just remember them saying that he was lucky and the injuries weren't severe.


It's so obvious that he had time to put on his seat belt, and the car had an airbag........DUH.



"This just got a hell of a lot better." - Stifler, American Pie
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I'd say Shamrock was pretty successful with the WWF, holding the Intercontinental title. He main evented a PPV against Shawn Michaels also. Still, from what I've heard, his NWA-TNA work hasn't been anything special and he's leaving now anyway. Oh well.
- The Tino Standard, X-PAC UPDATE (2002)
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