Lawler et J.R.: A few weeks ago, I was willing to defend The King. But now, with his talk of puppies, and cherries, and hymens, now he spouts off "HLA" 100,000 times, until even J.R gets fed up with it, I think I speak for the entire Wienerville community when I say: SHUT THE FUCK UP, LAWLER!
HHH vs. Dudley: Well, whaddya know, the sleeper STILL works!
Dreamer et Nowinski: Neither Chris Harvard nor Dreamer are very good poets.
Promo: Book-Dust, Kane et Bradshaw: "So, how 'bout those Oakland Raiders?" Har har!
HLA! HLA! HLA!: This is the most degrading thing I've ever... oh, it's a 3-minute segment! The 69 position before the Superfly Splash is a nice touch.
Confidential: YES! Thanks to Trippulaych as the World Champ, we now have a new show! WOO-HOO!
The Main Event: Mebbe I'm rushed because I want to be the first to post. Anyway, RVD wins.
Well, that's all for this week. Until then, Good Night, take care of yourselves, and remember, if you want to see Hot Lesbian Action, don't look for it on WWE, look for it on the Internet.
Isn't it ironic seeing a guy with a "Saved 1" shirt lying in a pool of his own blood with a head-sized hole in the car next to him?
Fashion Report mentions to: the guy in the front row wearing a cape and the two guys dressed like Hardyz (even though they've split).
Other stuff: drive slow in work zones. Or else you might hit a hard-working person who's just doing his job.
Skittles commercials are back! Prepare to be weirded-out.
Tag match = good. Ref bump = shenanigans. Regal HAS to join the UnAmericans; all the successful stables have 4 members.
DeadCowMan - PLEASE, wear something different! Bury that poor animal.
Bubba vs. Stevie. Silly Bubba, it's NOT a table-match!
Women Tag: I have one solution to FuckYouLawler - MondayNightFootball. Especially when I've got two guys in my FFL team playing (how the hell does my opponent get 168 points? I'm sure I'm gonna lose this week).
Lemme elaborate on FuckYouLawler. For months, we hear nothing but "puppies", "hymen", "lesbians", and numerous (poor) masturbation jokes out of him. Doesn't JR ever get so sick of it as to smack the stupid bitch upside the head and say "Damnit, just call the f'n match!"? Well, like I said, there's always MNF.
I wonder if that women's match was any good? 'Cuz they've been having good matches lately. (No, I'm not gonna watch it with the volume muted; that's just eerie).
I tune in to see Regal smacking Deflowerer and verbally ripping into him. Regal is my HERO OF THE MOMENT.
Thhhor (is a heel) vs. Spike. Hey, H looks like he's dropping weight. A good match.
The OTHER UnAmericans vs. BookDust. Nice, but no finish. See the plot development.
Hey, THEY'RE LESBIANS! Yeah, if I wanted lesbians, I'd use the handy-dandy internet. The NEW Monday Night Wars: Raw vs. Anything else. MNF wins this quarter-hour. Damn, halftime. So, I switch over to Raw and notice that DeadCowMan is watching the two LESBIANS goin' at it. Hey, didn't he hire a prostitiute to have sex with his wife so he could watch? Hmm, art imitates life, anybody? After that brief scene, I remember we get highlights from the weekend's games, so I switch back to ABC.
Main Event = great. Although I'm so tired I found myself fighting to keep my eyes open at the end (did Jericho get a belt-shot in on RVD or did I dream that?).
Overall: too much stuff that made me change the channel. A good show, what I watched, but the overall rating would be "okay". Or maybe I'm just really tired. Either way, beware the Skittles.
I liked the show. But it still seems like they're stretching for filler. Why is the new talent only on Smackdown?
-William Regal should write a book on parenting. And he should also be in a lot more backstage stuff than he is currently. -Victoria has an impressive moveset. -Those "Hot Lesbians" took some good bumps. -Without his facial hair, HHH looks a lot like Randy West. -And speaking of facial hair, is Jericho trying to be the next Neidhart?
Promo: Book-Dust, Kane et Bradshaw: "So, how 'bout those Oakland Raiders?" Har har!
Hey, get it right! He said the "Oakland A`s"! Line of the night!
I love how Dust shifts from his creepy "Golllldust" voice to his normal Southern accent when he`s not doing a full-on promo.
Speaking of good promos, Regal was awesome. Him joining the UnAmericans makes perfect sense. I also liked Bischoff`s labeling of the upcoming Sopp/Palumbo nuptuals as a publicity stunt.
And yes, the HLA thing was obviously heading toward "3 minutes" once we saw the women were unknowns. But how can you not laugh at the absurdity of chyron that says "THE LESBIANS?"
Oh, actual wrestling? I liked Bubba/Stevie and the main event was the best RAW match since pre-SummerSlam. Three of my favorite guys, plus the Slow being eliminated in a creative manner. I really dug that match.
"Hollywood Hulk Hogan lost his hair match to Mother Nature, dude!"
Good: I liked the backstage BookDust/Kane/(ok, even Bradshaw was kinda funny) interview bit. I know it isn't too original, but I thought Golddust in a Kane mask with Kane behind him was funny, and Kane shows his humor again, taking Bradshaw up on his offer.
I liked the way Bubba is getting in triple H's face, and they are doing more with him. I know he probably isn't a real contender for the title, but still think that this angle is better than what he has been doing recently.
I liked Regal joining the unamericans, just because it make sense for his character, and it gives the stable more strength.
Ho Hum: Divas tag team. Why? I guess just so Lawler could hype the HLA more and insinuate that both teams were in fact the lesbians.
Main event. I think this match could have been a lot better. I don't know why, but it just didn't grip me like some other matches have. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't terribly compelling, and with Flair's backstage promo, you kinda knew who was going to win in the end.
Bad bad bad. HLA. I didn't really care for the segment itself, but that isn't what bothered me really. Even though it was like Bisch directing his own personal lesbian porn scene, and then getting off by having the two undressed women crushed by 350 pound guys. That wasn't the disturbing part. Ok, so it was kinda. BUT, even worse was Lawler hyping the segment in every single breath he got, even to the point of ruining decent matches. Even J.R was mad at him, and repeatedly told him to get over it. I'm sorry, but this didn't work at all. Hype the segment a little, but know enough to let the matches go on relatively interrupted, please.
This Raw wasn't as offensively bad as previous editions. Again, nothing memorable, but as long as there's nothing actively bad like last week, I'll live.
GOOD: -The Main Event: Damn, Chris Jericho rules! Look at him outsmart Big Slug! That moment of brilliant comedy is enough to make me forget the fact that Big Sloth shouldn't have even been in the match to begin with. And it looks like RVD's up for the next title shot. I'll save pessimistic comments about THAT for another time.
-HOT LESBIAN ACTION!!: Like many of us, I'd rather see two women in bra and panties making out in the middle of the ring, than see Billy and Chuck getting married. Am I right? Eh? Eh?
-Planting Seeds: Looks like they're getting ready to push Bubba Ray Dudley to the main event and you won't hear ANY complaints from me on that one! The guy works hard and he deserves it. Hopefully, he can carry PoocHHHie to a good match when they DO lock up.
BAD: -One Step Backwards: I'll say it once again, ENOUGH ALREADY WITH JAMAL AND ROSIE!! Last week, I thought we were ready to get them wrestling when they attacked Jeff Hardy, but this week we're back to where we were a month ago with them attacking women. ENOUGH!! It's time for them to wrestle!! IT'S BEEN TWO FREAKIN MONTHS!!
-Rule #35245 of Pro Wrestling: A match should NEVER end on a SLEEPER HOLD!! Just like a match should NEVER end on a bear hug!! Um...oh wait...
-God Bless UnAmerica: Tonight SHOULD have been the night the UnAmerican experiment ended. With the 9/11 anniversary on Wednesday, tonight should have ended their tag title reign and put the belts on an American tag team so we can get patriotic feelings and all that (even if that team WAS Kane and Bradshaw). Instead, we actually get a NEW freakin member of the team! Man, I hope Vince knows what he's doing on this one, because that's a pretty big risk.
-The Women's match: The match felt a little flat to me. And anytime you have Stacy and Terri actually trying to WRESTLE, you know it's a recipe for something bad.
And there you go. Nothing terrible, but nothing really excellent either with the exception of the main event. Let's see how Smackdown goes.
YOUUUUUUUUUU...LOOOOOOOOOK...SOOOOOOOOOO......GOOD TO ME!
"That's right! You suckas better FIND somewhere to run! 'cause it's me - Booker T - not only am I the Scorpion King, but I'm the five-time WCW Champion - and I got a sword, too! Now can U dig THAT - SUCKAAAAAS"
Lawler went off the deep end tonight and JR kept telling him to shut the F up but Lawler couldn't stop. Ross bitched him out during almost every match, but the King persisted. What's wrong with him?
I like women's wrestling but I'm surprised JR didn't bust out the 'bowling shoe ugly' line for Trish/Terri vs Victoria/Stacy. I guess they got a free pass because Stacy and Terri aren't wrestlers (so why were they in the match?). Nevertheless, Victoria certainly underwhelmed me. Yeah she has some nice moves but didn't hit one cleanly. Could be because Terri was godawful, but still, nothing to write home about. On the plus side, the crowd had a nice response for the finish, so hopefully this means the women's division will keep chugging along.. but jeez, how long until they have a few healthy women's wrestlers working decent matches? It's getting ridiculous. I've heard good things about Cheerleader Melissa from APW/NOAH, look up Riot, Beckie or Jungle Grrl from WOW, or steal from Jersey's Kiryoku Pro - whatever - get some damned decent women's wrestlers or train the divas so they don't ruin the matches!
HHH/Spike.. Not sure what to say. It's cool HHH sold for Spike, and how he got pinned clean by RVD, but my inner smark tells me it's all a big nothing leading to more HHH snooze-inducing domination. But I will give my inner smark the finger and just say I think HHH is doing some cool stuff lately. Though his match with Spike was slow as hell and Scott Keith may have hit it right on the button when he said it was nothing but a failed re-creation of HHH/Taka 2000. Oh yeah, Foley said in his book that HHH made Cactus Jack the threat he was by his reaction to Foley's promo. HHH did a nice sell of the threat of RVD with his facial reaction and demeanor at the end of the show.
Lesbians.. Is that whole thing a rib on Bischoff and the gold club thing? Is the WWE that petty? And why is it 'cool' when two women make out but gross when two men do it? Isn't that hypocritical? That's more of a societal concern/pet peeve of mine than a criticism of the WWE. Also.. So that was Looney Lane? I heard she was the shit. Couldn't really tell, but she sure took a couple hard bumps there.
Main event... Pretty OK, weird crowd.. I think they were miked weird, you could hear a row of people cheering and the rest of the arena sounded far away. I was actually disappointed that Jeff Hardy got eliminated, I am so bored with Y2J.
Speaking of.. Y2J spitting apple at Terri was disgusting. I hear he was awesome in WCW. I've seen a little footage. What happened?
Again, Dreamer... I like the guy now. I don't know what's come over me. Still, he's enough of a suck up without the damn Iowa t-shirt. I think in the long run that hurts him more than helps him. Still, I can't help but cheer for a guy who wears his heart on his sleeve and loves what he does.
Kane.. and Bradshaw. A month of vignettes for a guy teaming up with... Bradshaw. Give me a break.
And last but not least - BOOKER. The guy cut one HELL of a promo, after this stupid un-americans crap is over, I hope they do something meaningful with the guy. He is in the zone!
I think they are setting Lawler up for some HOT 3 minute ACTION! Or at least I hope so. But I'd hate to think about who they'd get to replace him. Heyman was just awful. Maybe Tazz could jump ship... or not.
Originally posted by FantomasAnd last but not least - BOOKER. The guy cut one HELL of a promo, after this stupid un-americans crap is over, I hope they do something meaningful with the guy. He is in the zone!
I have to agree with you there. Booker has went from being portrayed as a Rock wannabe to being just as good as, if not superior, to The Rock. I never could stand him in WCW but in recent weeks, he's impressed me more than anybody else in the WWE. Since I seriously doubt we're going to see Van Dam go over at Unforgiven, maybe HHH would be willing to drop the belt to someone who's held it 5 times already.
Originally posted by Spiraling_ShapePromo: Book-Dust, Kane et Bradshaw: "So, how 'bout those Oakland Raiders?" Har har!
Hey, get it right! He said the "Oakland A`s"! Line of the night
I missed the show, so I was wondering about that comment. It just seemed strange to think that anyone cared about the Raiders beating the Seahawks (again). Hell, half of their hometown crowd didn't even care (the other half is pissed because we just finished building a $500 million stadium that the voters didn't even want to build).
All I say is that if I had to mute the volume during many parts of the show tonight. Lawler pissed me off, majorly tonight. I really wanted JR to reach over and smack the crap out of him. He turned me off from the show and I didn't come back to the tv until the main event.
The Main Event was predictable, but it wasn't bad. Good team work between RVD and Hardy to put Jericho out. Big Show, who hasn't been anywhere the past month or so, shouldn't have been in the match at all. Booker T. should be back in the thick of his former title. But, since it was all an effort to get RVD closer to the title, I'll let it slide.
I taped the show, but I'm not sure if I can stomach watching it just yet. Lawler single-handedly took away from every match and promo tonight, to me.
I was so disappointed with RAW I basically ignored the Main Event and played MS Hearts. WOO! Hey, but Triple H did a good job tonight, and I was all for getting behind Bubba and Kane/Book/Dust (get a fucking clue Bradshaw and go reinvent yourself. You annoy me.) but Lawler ruined the whole thing. My roommate was giving it half-hearted interest, so I didn't mute the damn thing. Too bad.
"You gotta hate somebody before this is over. Them, me, it doesn't matter."
"Hate, who do I hate? You tell me."
"Who do you love?"
-Wintermute to Case in William Gibson's Neuromancer
After 2 weeks of staying away WWE TV I come back to this! Let me get the Lesbian deal out of the way, I wasn't offended (I get more pissed when it's people I care about involved in something stupid) but it sucked, it reeked of desperation. The chyron and the door sign saying "The Lesbians" was mildly funny but once they got into the ring it became pathetic and sad in a hurry.
As a diva wrestling fan now the rest of you know how a feel when Lawler doesn't give a rats ass about the match. He didn't care about anything. I'm sure all the boys appreciate that. I hardly remember anything on the show because of those damn lesbians. How many shots of the door, wrestlers putting them over and Lawler freaking out do we need. It was the biggest hype job I've ever seen. Circling the drain I tell you. It was so bad I have to check a quick recape site (not SK) to remember what was on. I'll keep is short because I dont' remember much
-Storm/Christian v. Bradshaw/Kane- Totally shocked the Unamericans win. Not a huge fan of the Unamerican gimmick but a less of a fan of Bradshaw which made me happy with the result.
-Bubba v. Richards- I just noticed something I like Bubba in tags with anyone Dvon, Spike, Trish but as a single I don't like him as much. I guess I like him in little doses in matches and tagging out for a change of pace with someone else in him. But not a fan of Bubba in singles. Well saying that he did have a great match with Brock a while back. Bubba kinda hit and miss, tonight match wasn't that great.
-Trish/Terri v. Stacy/Victoria- As a diva wrestling fan this match is definitely not going in to vault to support my argument. Why the heck have Terri in there for so long? She was in for most of the match. And her babyface comeback with punches was sad, she was throwing punches not even the direction of her opponents. They should have had Trish/Vicki in there for most part have Terri/STacy have a minute catfight and get the wrestlers back in there.
-Triple H v. Spike- Spike's a guilty pleasure of mine, so I was happy he got some offense in.
-Regal/Test v. BookDust- Another surprising win for the unamericans, looks like they are still pushing this gimmick hard.
-RVD v. Y2J v. BS v. J.Hardy- Wow that Jericho outsmarting Big Show to get the big man DQed was just too great, One of the better things I've seen Jericho do in a long time. I liked the match, but then again the show was pretty bad so something decent will be a major improvement
other stuff: Regal was classic in his promo against young Nowinski and Goldust was pretty funny with his "I wouldn't dare look at the HLA"
(edited by Net Hack Slasher on 10.9.02 0319) WWE new slogan "WWE: circling the drain"
There was something moving about a thinning-haired Chris Jericho and the widow of one of his best friends doing a PG version of his Y2J vs. Stephanie routine twelve years later. Not even joking; some real lonely road of faith stuff.