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21.5.18 1603
The W - Pro Wrestling - The Phat Report 1/4/02
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Mike Phat

Since: 2.1.02
From: Harrisburg, PA

Since last post: 5889 days
Last activity: 5201 days
#1 Posted on

A few comments from under the Chicago White Sox hat and here's hoping Vince pulls his head out of his butt in the new year.

Undertaker got a boo boo on SmackDown. Hopefully he'll be out until the rumble or longer

Willy Regal will be back in a few weeks. Can't wait

Vinny Mac got some well deserved stitches after the Flair deal on SmackDown. Another reason to love Flair

Tons more people are hurt that we don't care about, and neither should you

Triple H returns tonight as some house show somewhere. Look for Jericho to get buried soon. Along with Chris Benoit, Rob Van Dam, and anyone else not named “Kevin”.

He returns to Raw on Monday. Just thought I would mention that.

Nash hasn’t put pen to paper, but we have reached an agreameant. He should be killing ratings in just a few weeks.

We screwed up a few times on the live SmackDown, but I thought it was still a pretty good show. We’ve been so busy plugging Hunter’s return, we forgot to write a card for the Rumble. We should probably get around to doing that this week.

Flair’s pop should be a biggie in MSG. He’s on that Saturday show we do also this week. No need to go out of your way to watch or anything, it means nothing

Jackie is a ref now. Who knows what we’ll do with this

Hardys and Lita will be back sometime. Probably anytime between this week and Wrestlemania.

We’ll continue to bury the Cruiserweights this week.

Torrie and Stacy are doing some Tough Enough 2 crap today. Probably teaching the women what not to do in the ring

That there Val Venis guy worked some shows sometime a few weeks ago or something. He has great talent, a great look, fairly good mic skills, and is a pretty good worker. Therefore, he’ll continue to do nothing down in the HWA until we bring him up to The Dance so he can do nothing an be underused here even more then he was last time.

Randy Orton’s back from injury. Like you care.

Prototype, Sheldon Benjamin and Dave Bautista will be doing stuff in February. We’ll bring them up to TV sometime if we feel they have enough talent to bury them

Shawn Stasiak returns this weekend. Don’t look for an explanation from us on why another former Alliance member is working in the WWF. Heck, we didn’t bother with half the other guys, why start now?

Billy Gunn and Chuck Palumbo are playing a gay tag team. Did you know that?

DDP will be playing a face this week. He rules the world as far as I care.

Rikishi missed SmackDown due to being stupid and forgetting where the arena was. Oh well.

Bossman was late to SmackDown. Unlike Jeff Hardy, we’ll push Bossman.

Kurt Angle will join David Arquette as the only two former WCW champions that have done AT&T commercials.

We’ll shill more books this year. Wanna write one for Freddie Blassie? You can do all the work and get your name in tiny print on the back cover. It’s the same thing we’ve done for all of our books except Foleys. Which is why Foley is off TV at this time. Lord knows we don’t want smart people on TV.

That black announcer dude really is a Barry Manilow mark.

Bobby Heenan rules and we hope he kicks the crap out of his cancer

The Rock’s movie sucks really bad, so he’s re-filming a lot of it. It will still suck, though.

Chris Benoit, Torrie and Tajiri are heading to Asia to plug some crap. A talentless bimbo like Torrie should be super over in Japan and hopefully she’ll sell a lot of tickets.

The other Hebner dude had surgery and isn’t dead. Good for him.

My boy Bull Buchanan has been tearing up OVW. It’s my life goal to get him back on TV soon.

Dean Malenko is now an agent. Once again this shows that we at the WWF knows what to do with great talent.

Jazz sucks. You know it, I know it. But she’s an ugly shemale, so she’s getting the new Chyna push.

Triple H does the talk show rounds on Monday.

Booker T will always be a jobber.

So will the Dudleys.

I like Jericho. But Hunter doesn’t. We all know who out ranks who here. And don’t worry, we’ll continue to have no clue what to do with Flair.

Rock is happy about some football crap. GO SOONERS! They won. I think.

Some dude or chick will be at WWF New York on Tuesday. We’ll show some SmackDown clips or something. Some jobber will be there also.

Take care and I'll see you in hell, I’ll be right next to Vince McMahon.
Promote this thread!

Since: 2.1.02
From: Wilmington, NC

Since last post: 4884 days
Last activity: 4485 days
#2 Posted on
I must applaud you. That might be the single most amount of whining per sentence that I have ever seen.


Since: 2.1.02
From: The Las Vegas of Canada

Since last post: 932 days
Last activity: 351 days
#3 Posted on
Dude, that was bitter. Of course, what scares me is the only thing I can really disagree with in that is the whole apathy towards Regal's return, since disgusted Regal faces rule! And the Val Venis thing, since Val really is a walking cure for insomnia. I do like "My boy Bull Buchanan has been tearing up OVW. It’s my life goal to get him back on TV soon."

There, I feel better now.

Since: 2.1.02
From: Norfolk, England

Since last post: 1007 days
Last activity: 928 days
#4 Posted on
Wow.. EVERYONE wants to write a Ross Report recappy thing.

And you know, they're all better than mine was too!

Feeling My current mood @, thanks for asking.
Has nothing to do with either ITVR, or the SWF. Honest.
Chris Protege

Since: 2.1.02
From: Los Angeles, California

Since last post: 5725 days
Last activity: 5674 days
#5 Posted on
You were so totally the awesomest of them, Jaygo.

Hey--none of the others allowed me to share my thoroughly useless awareness of Hip Pointers and the Anterior Superior Iliac Spine.

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Matt Hardy had a good thing going on Smackdown, where in general the roster is smaller in stature (A-Train would not be considered overly large on RAW). There were also fewer top level wrestlers there.
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