Llakor: Nate Stein sent me the following so that I could check it for him for teh Wacquie Canadian spelling. I liked it so much, I decided to post it for him.
Oh and if you're thinking: Llakor and Nate Stein tagging together? The horror, the horror... Well, exactly.
And now, I am having visions of Pete from DVDVR with a Martin Sheen avatar having a heart attack while surfing the web with MSN helicopters dumping anti-virus napalm on 12 year old hackers as his screen saver.
Main Event - Fans Bring the Weapons: The Arsenal & Kurt Lauderdale vs. The Evil Ninja & PCP Crazy F’N Manny
In a feud that’s been building for months, culminating in both Manny’s firing of Kurt Lauderdale & the return of The Arsenal after being fired months before.
As all four of these men are vicious enough to not worry about the pain they will have inflected upon them, just imagine what they will dish out to their opponents.
But can anyone trust anyone in this match? Manny’s shown everyone he’s just that much off his rocker; no surprise there. The Evil Ninja can not be trusted, turning on his former partner and brother, the Hardcore Ninja, turning to Commissioner Joey FitzMorris when the money was right, now partner with IWS owner Manny; but what if someone comes along with an even sweeter deal for The Evil Ninja?
Outside of Kid Kamikaze, how often has Kurt Lauderdale been known to be trusted? And teaming with former rival The Arsenal might just stir up old feelings & a sense of revenge. As for The Arsenal? He’s been out of IWS for months, will revenge blind him so that even winning this match doesn’t matter, as long as he makes sure Manny looks on the outside how he’s felt for the last few months?
Nate’s call? The Arsenal & Kurt Lauderdale, but not after making sure they get in some licks on each other.
IWS Title/CZW Ironman Title Match: champion Franky the Mobster vs. Kevin Steen
Who didn’t see this battle coming? The former champion & now international star Kevin Steen used his former best friend when it suited his purposes. Now that Franky is champion, the only back Steen had was still his own.
Steen also says he gave Franky the opportunity to go up for the CZW Ironman Title in his stead while injured. If anything, that just added salt to the wounds of doubt Franky may have about his own ability.
After the beating Franky gave Steen during Bloodstream, there is no doubt that was a walk in the meadow compared to what Franky has in store next.
Nate’s call? Franky the Mobster leaves Steen a bloody, crippled mess.
IWS Tag Team Title Match – Four Way Scramble: Champions The Flying Hurricanes (Takao/Kenny the Bastard) vs. 2.0 (Jagged/Shane Matthews) vs. Le Syndicate de Lutte International (Marc le Grizzly/Viking) vs. The Wrecking Crew (Tomassino/Chris Wells)
This might be the hardest match to figure out. The champions, The Flying Hurricanes have held on to those titles so tightly since gaining them from The SLI’s Viking & SLI at the time Damien it’ll definitely be a challenge for anyone to pry them from Takao & Kenny The Bastard.
Maybe it’s fate that the SLI team of Marc le Grizzly & Viking are to challenge The Flying Hurricanes, to bring back the gold to SLI. However, there are two more teams just as hungry to see that gold around them.
Tomassino & Chris Wells, The Wrecking Crew, have made a name for themselves throughout Quebec wrestling. Only teaming together in IWS for the last month, they are already known as a dangerous force to be reckoned with.
*sigh* Now the last team, 2.0. Shane Matthews & Jagged. People will be surprised when I say this, but 2.0 might be the toughest challengers in this match. Say what you will, but they are undefeated in IWS by staying one step ahead of the competition & often outsmarting their opponents using their imposed count out rules. Like vultures circling their prey, they will wait until the time is right to attack.
Nate’s pick: I see the champions retaining, SLI standing strong, The Wrecking Crew leaving bodies in their wake, & 2.0 saying they really haven’t lose their undefeated streak, as it was not a two-on-two competition…but what about “Uncle Manny”?
Inter-Species Open Challenge Match: Beef J. Wellington vs. Super Dragon
“Holy marking out, Batman!” Copyright infringement aside, this might be the match of the night. Beef, who’s comedic side has been slowing turning into more slightly sadistic & sarcastic personality. But this Beef isn’t the shadow of his former “novelty act” self. He’s showing people the Beef J. Wellington he’s always been capable of being.
Super Dragon may not have been who was originally in mind for who Beef wanted in an “inter-species open challenge match”, but Dragon’s going to make sure when he leaves, not only Beef, but all of the IWS will know the impact Super Dragon can make on anyone who steps up to him.
Nate’s call? Beef Wellington. But, I think we’re going to all see a darker side of Beef & not the one on the softer side of Sears.
LE GRUDGE: Damian vs. Fred la Merveille
Wow. Something tells me for those of you who thought Viking vs. Damien last month was painful to watch, I feel sorry for both these men in this match. There’s no more friendship, no more close ties...only Damian’s desire to crush someone on his trek for international supremacy & Fred’s “besoin” to crush Viking’s skull in.
When Damian left the SLI, it was to prove to everyone that he had what it took to stand out on his own. Not just in the IWS, but everywhere…in any country. But for Fred, the leader of SLI, he sees it differently. Damian wasn’t making a name for him…he was making himself a walking target of Fred’s rage.
Nate’s pick? Damian, but not after all the members of the SLI get their licks in on him.
Who Is the Hero?: IWS “Hardcore Hero” Green Phantom vs. “The Saviour of Wrestling” Chris Hero
It’s been months since Phantom’s injury & competing in a ring, IWS or otherwise. But don’t count out the crafty Hardcore Hero of the IWS.
Chris Hero is crafty in his own right as a master of ways to contort a person in a pretzel, then just laughing at them as he breaks them. Hero’s recent break up with his former friend & SuperFriends tag partner, Mike Quackenbush has left him as a tougher challenger to deal with. Now that he’s by himself, he has nothing to loose.
Nate’s call? A Hero. I kid, but I see this one as a tough one to call. My personal pick is to see Phantom wipe the mat with Hero’s bloody face. Phantom just has to watch himself from Chris Hero’s dangerous submission arsenal.
Sex vs. XES: The Triple X “Sex XXXpress” Sexxxy Eddy vs. EXesS
Twice now, this match was supposed to take place. As they say, third times the charm. This will be the technical classic of the night.
But will Eddy’s troubles with D-Vyn or EXesS’ reoccurring issues with Commission Joey FitzMorris come in to play?
D-Vyn left Eddy after seeing him, well, have a little too much fun with another young woman on Bloodstream a few months back & for Eddy not taking her with him to Germany. As for EXesS, he might have a easy night from FitzMorris, with Evil Ninja otherwise preoccupied with the Fans Bring The Weapons match. But if there’s one thing about FitzMorris; if he wants you to feel his presence, he’ll make sure you do…both in the ring & where it seems FitzMorris wants EXesS, the Baby Oil Phenom, in “the back”.
Nate’s call? Exess and his sneaky submission, with some randomness from Commissioner Fitzmorris & a possible pre-lube from D-Vyn to Eddy thrown in.
Three-Way Dance: El Generico vs. Dan Paysan vs. Kid Kamikaze
It’s been a while since IWS fans have seen El Generico in regular IWS competition. But he has been busy making waves throughout the wrestling WORLD. I mean that literally - Canada, the United States, Germany…when people hear El Generico, they think of a wrestling superstar.
But Dan Paysan has been working a lot harder lately to better his game. He has already made his name known in Canada & in New Jersey. It’s been recognized by being asked to compete for CZW.
Kid Kamikaze though has let it be known that this is HIS chance to shine to the wrestling world. Not only is Kamikaze dangerously technical, he’s sly enough to pull out all the stops to ensure a victory here.
Nate’s pick? Dan Paysan gets to highlight his stuff, hopefully without another head drop from Generico…while Kamikaze pouts about the loss.
Lube match: Seska vs. D-Vyn
LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBE. Some say that recently fired IWS President Seska is simply jealous of D-Vyn. That D-Vyn got all the attention. That D-Vyn was the one with the looks the people wanted. Seska would say she simply thinks D-Vyn has gotten what she’s wanted so far, but making herself “available” to everyone around her.
As for D-Vyn? In psychology, it’s called “transference”, where say you are angry at one person & that anger is then passed on to another. In this case, Seska happened to give D-Vyn some unwelcome feedback while dealing with her issues with Sexxxy Eddy, causing D-Vyn to set her sites right on Seska…and taking her down a step or two in the process.
Nate’s call? The LUUUUUUUBE. Alright, with D-Vyn covered in it. But I see Seska being so humiliated, continuing with the use of psychology terms, I think her “fight or flight” response will kick in. If she fights, so help the IWS.
Another great column, Jeb. I live in Orlando and went to Hooters with my boy Neil cause I'm pretty sure it's the only place in Otown that shows ppv's plus I cant get ppv's at home (stupid collge apts).