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The W - Pro Wrestling - the mighty mighty WWE SMACKDOWN WORKRATE REPORT- 6/10/2004!
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DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1293 days
Last activity: 1290 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
I'm a little late. It's rib night so I took a little nap. Then we had a nice poundcake. Sauer's Barbecue Sauce is what God uses on his grill. So good on ribs.... (I had visitors, so this is a bit truncated.)

WHAT WORKED-

- CHAVO CLASSIC has his bitches with him. CHAVO CLASSIC is tired from all the fucking. Rey Rey comes out and he gets no Pyro? Rey Rey is on a one way ticket to Val Venis Jabrone Land? Chavo comes out. CHAVO IS A CLASSIC GENTLEMAN! Fuck you Cole! HE TAKES CARE OF HIS BITCHES! Chavo bumps to the floor and Rey kills him and we go to a commercial. Join me in thinking about the pretty hair of CRZ. A flowing stream. Some Prell. It's bubbly and the water is cool but not cold and sun streams in through the trees. It goes all slow motion as he shakes his head wildly- like a wild stallion... Dropkick counter to the Rey Rey Quedrada! FUCK YOU MISTERIO! STEALING CHAVO CLASSIC'S MOVES! Then CHAVO CLASSIC shooting on Rey Rey using the move his uncle invented is SOOO fucking awesome because it's probably true. Chavo runs into CHAVO CLASSIC and Rey Rey avoids his Val Venusian fate for another week.

- My neighbor came over wanted to borrow the computer for a little while so I went to Spencer's Exxon and bought more beer while she hung out with my wife. The Triple Match dealy was a lot better than I figured it would be. I don't know why since Cena was asked to sell and sell and sell and that's what he does best. The RVD match was waaay better than I figured it would be, even with all of RVD's offense looking like total dogshit. The Renee Dupree match good despite Dupree crippling Cena with a fucked up armdrag and the worst powerslam I've ever seen. The extra five minutes was stupid because Dupree didn't go over. And then it set up a FATAL FOURWAY~! It's 1997 all over again! Yuck. Mmmmm 12 of Miller.....

WHAT DIDN'T WORK-

- Booker T apologizing was pointless. Cena DOESN'T WEAR A JOE KLECKO THROWBACK and it's upsetting. Then it kinda goes on for a while.

- Kenzo Suzuki is carried out. Cole is hilarious giving us his background: "supposedly he's feuled by hate." Thank you, Cole. We now understand. Yes. Clearly. He is feuled by hate. Geisha's at ringside? So he's doing the Japanese Godfather gimmick! His chops and kicks truly suck- even by WWE standards. Can Of Crowd freak for him as if he were the second coming of Techno Team 2000. He uses a claw hold to hit an STO. A clawhold to hit an STO that was obviously FEULED BY HATE! See, if Bill Parcells had come out and talked to Suzuki, "I don't won't to offend any of youse Oriental types, but we have special wrestling techniques..." - Scotty2Hotty runs in from the crowd and hits Kenzo from behind- "... AHAHAHAHAAHA! that we call our Jap plays!" Ahhhhhh, topical.....

- Eddy takes JBL for a ride in New Jersey. I recommend Arthur's Steaks in Hoboken. They have steaks that look like a bundt cake. Later, JBL goes to a Jewish neighborhood and spraypaints a swastika on the side of the Piscattaway Jewish Community Center.

- Paul E is Our Master Of Exposition in trying to get over the Paul Bearer and the Dudleys MONSTEROUSLY retarded angle.

- Did y'all get that commercial for the cd of Kenny Rogers FORTY TWO hits? Since he has exactly TWO songs worth listening to (Lucille. Ruby) and his other song worth a hoot in hell (Heed The Call) was with the First Edition, I think I would soak my skull in boiling dog urine before I would force myself to listen to it. Except for "Ruby". When "Ruby" comes on I would take my head out of the boiling vat of dog urine and emote to his only true classic. "And if had a gun I think I'd put her in the ground..." And I am the only one to notice that the background music to the ANCHORMAN commercial is the theme to BOTTOM.

- The Undertaker joins Paul Heyman in the stupidest angle in the history in wrestling. All they need is the Black Scorpion and a voodoo curse and think we are sealing the deal.

THERE YOU HAVE IT.

DEAN RASMUSSEN.


(edited by DEAN RASMUSSEN on 10.6.04 2212)

(edited by DEAN RASMUSSEN on 10.6.04 2214)

YES, I AM DEAN.
Promote this thread!
redsoxnation
Scrapple








Since: 24.7.02

Since last post: 481 days
Last activity: 481 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.34
What about the Gambler?
Taker caring for Paul Bearer's health would have some validity if the past 8 years hadn't happened, the majority of which either had Paul Bearer feuding with Taker or no where to be seen.
Gee, Eddy cracking up a car. That's a new one.
Hopefully, the next time Kenzo Suzuki is carried out, its on a stretcher back to Japan.
bigredmachine29
Linguica








Since: 12.5.04
From: new jersey

Since last post: 3344 days
Last activity: 2804 days
AIM:  
#3 Posted on
I have to say the UT-Heyman angle is quite possibly the worst angle on SD right now, which is really saying something. I love Heyman and what he can bring to the show, but not even he can pull off "Join me Undertaker!!JOIN MEEEEEE!" And I personally cannot suspend disbelief enough to overlook the fact that the Dudleyz have kidnapped somebody and are keeping him locked up with no police action whatsoever.

Another thing that bothers me is that they build Cena up for a long time as a really tough, hard to beat guy, and then have Booker and RVD kick the shit out of him in their respective matches. The character already lost his edge, now apparently Booker and RVD are able to beat him easily if the matches were 6 mins instead of 5?



(edited by bigredmachine29 on 10.6.04 1957)
Freeway
Scrapple








Since: 3.1.02
From: Calgary

Since last post: 307 days
Last activity: 4 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.01
So, for some reason The Zombie BikerTaker got buried by his Evil-Half Brother Kane and somehow got rezombified and brought back by his half-brother's father Paul Bearer. The Taker's parents would still be alive if not for Bearer banging Taker's mom and having Kane (who burnt the house down)...and for some reason the ZombieBikerTaker cares?? And I thought they established years ago that the urn doesn't do anything. And where the hell did that urn come from? I thought the real urn got melted down by Kama Mustafa!

What the hell's going on??



2004 CALGARY FLAMES:
42-30-7-3 in 82 games for 94 points in the regular season
15-11 in 26 games in the playoffs
2004 Western Conference Champions

DVDs I Own
too-old-now
Bockwurst








Since: 7.1.04

Since last post: 1300 days
Last activity: 225 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.55
We don't get Sauer's BBQ back east - I had it once visiting some 'kin and I am jealous of what you'll be unloading in yer terlit...

Cena sells better than he talks lately...

Angle's talk was better when he could back it up in the ring. He's approaching "non-wrestler I don't give a shit about anymore" status.

God, I do actually miss the Big Show...

Rey Rey will be over longer than Val even if they don't give him anything else to do.

No Whorulon Technologies update this week?

Once again, if it weren't for the Guerreros, SD would suck completely...

If Paul Bearer is really still locked up, will his next appearance be 40 lbs. lighter? I always liked Paul, but worry about his weight.

B-R-M-29, I agree that Heyman/Taker is not working, and the reason it qualifies as the worst angle on SD is that they expect so much from it. Sorry, I can't give a shit about the Dudleyz, and the mark in me doesn't suspend disbelief - cuz we all know Taker should never lay down for a Dudley (unless Taker turns evil, and aligns with Paul Heyman, and Spike kicks the shit outta them both, kidnaps Sara and the youngun', while Linda comes out in a Vampirella...)

I expected the dreams of CRZ's hair would come during the breaks in the Cena triple match commercials breaks, not during the King-sized CHAVO Classic classic.



Downtown Bookie
Morcilla








Since: 7.4.02
From: The Inner City, Now Living In The Country

Since last post: 136 days
Last activity: 30 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.36
    Originally posted by Dean Rasmussen
    Eddy takes JBL for a ride in New Jersey.
Sounds like an outtake from The Sopranos, or maybe The Godfather. Should have ended with Bradshaw lying dead in the car from gunshot wounds while Eddie instructed his minion to take the cannolis.
    Originally posted by Dean Rasmussen
    Did y'all get that commercial for the cd of Kenny Rogers FORTY TWO hits? Since he has exactly TWO songs worth listening to (Lucille. Ruby) and his other song worth a hoot in hell (Heed The Call) was with the First Edition.
What? No love for "Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In)" (also with The First Edition)?




Patiently waiting to be Stratusfied.
insignia
Loukanika








Since: 6.6.04

Since last post: 3787 days
Last activity: 3785 days
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.63
    Originally posted by Freeway420
    So, for some reason The Zombie BikerTaker got buried by his Evil-Half Brother Kane and somehow got rezombified and brought back by his half-brother's father Paul Bearer. The Taker's parents would still be alive if not for Bearer banging Taker's mom and having Kane (who burnt the house down)...and for some reason the ZombieBikerTaker cares?? And I thought they established years ago that the urn doesn't do anything. And where the hell did that urn come from? I thought the real urn got melted down by Kama Mustafa!

    What the hell's going on??


I agree, this is so typical of them to do. Paul Bearer banged his mother, corrupted his brother, and turned on him in 1996 to join Mankind. Why the hell would Taker want to help him out? It's so stupid how little they care about some continuity.
As far as the urn goes, I think if they at least give us a creative reason as to why the urn has such power over Taker, this can somewhat be acceptable.
The Sham
Kolbasz








Since: 20.1.02
From: Hamden, CT

Since last post: 1727 days
Last activity: 1079 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.43
The UT angle continuity is what bothers you? What about Kurt's claim that last week's run in with John Cena and Booker T was the first time someone dared lay hands on him since he became General Manager? Hey, Kurt. Why are you in that wheelchair again?

I guess the Geisha wasn't enough for the middle-aged virgins to toast a load to. The writers must assume they're still tired out after the bikini contest from last week. Where's that Britney thread...



HBK: óHOLY SHIT! WHAT'S WITH ALL THESE FUCKING GEESE?ó
- Jeb Tennyson Lund, 1/20/04
insignia
Loukanika








Since: 6.6.04

Since last post: 3787 days
Last activity: 3785 days
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.63
    Originally posted by The Sham
    The UT angle continuity is what bothers you? What about Kurt's claim that last week's run in with John Cena and Booker T was the first time someone dared lay hands on him since he became General Manager? Hey, Kurt. Why are you in that wheelchair again?

    I guess the Geisha wasn't enough for the middle-aged virgins to toast a load to. The writers must assume they're still tired out after the bikini contest from last week. Where's that Britney thread...


Actually, I was talking about the Taker situation specically, but the Kurt Angle angle continuity is probably worse since it's so recent. Honestly, when I heard him say they would be the first time someone dared to lay hands on him, I thought I misheard that. It just sounded so absurd, with him sitting there with that leg cast.






Eradicator
Kolbasz








Since: 4.1.02
From: Chicago

Since last post: 74 days
Last activity: 74 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.00
    Originally posted by The Sham
    The UT angle continuity is what bothers you? What about Kurt's claim that last week's run in with John Cena and Booker T was the first time someone dared lay hands on him since he became General Manager? Hey, Kurt. Why are you in that wheelchair again?




Or the fact that when Heyman was talking to the Dudleys he said that no one had ever layed a hand on Paul Bearer before when we've seen the Undertaker himself torch him with a fireball and Kane and Steve Austin shove him down a manhole. And I'm sure there are more instances than those.



"The Universe is shaped exactly like the Earth- if you go straight long enough you end up where you were."
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1293 days
Last activity: 1290 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by The Sham
    I guess the Geisha wasn't enough for the middle-aged virgins to toast a load to.


DR: I completely dropped the ball this week. There was also the loadworthy gaggle of CHAVO CLASSIC groupies. Company came over. It threw me off. Next week will not be so mailed in.



YES, I AM DEAN.
Evil Buddha
Pickled pork








Since: 10.1.02
From: Somerville, MA

Since last post: 2822 days
Last activity: 2220 days
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.50
The fact is, Almighty DEAN~!, that there's a whole host of cool stories that could be told of Chavo Classic, Cougar Hunter, picking up country club wives and soccer moms everywhere the road takes him.
Chavo Classic could very well have been the Felix Leiter to Al Wilson's Bond...



"Naughty by Nature, Evil by Choice!"
Evil Buddha... Wrestling Fan, Bud Man
Torchslasher
Knackwurst








Since: 17.1.02
From: New F'n Jersey

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 1 day
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.75
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
      Originally posted by The Sham
      I guess the Geisha wasn't enough for the middle-aged virgins to toast a load to.


    DR: I completely dropped the ball this week. There was also the loadworthy gaggle of CHAVO CLASSIC groupies. Company came over. It threw me off. Next week will not be so mailed in.


Dude, even when you "mail it in," you pick up nuggets like Suzuki being "fueled by hate" and Rey's Val Venusian fate. I'll take mailing it in to almost anybody else's good days.



Joe Wilson (looking at Interocitor manual)- Hey, here's something my wife could use in the house...
Crow T. Robot- A man?
Joe Wilson- An interocitor incorporating an electron sorter.
Cal Meechum- Oh, she'd probably gain 20 pounds while it did all the work for her.
Tom Servo- Cal, you bitch!

MST3K: The Movie
BigVitoMark
Lap cheong








Since: 10.8.02
From: Queen's University, Canada

Since last post: 3379 days
Last activity: 3289 days
ICQ:  
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.11
    Originally posted by redsoxnation
    Taker caring for Paul Bearer's health would have some validity if the past 8 years hadn't happened, the majority of which either had Paul Bearer feuding with Taker or no where to be seen.


Let's not forget them doing this exact same angle with Paul Bearer in Heyman's role, holding the "secret" of Kane over UT's head instead of a kidnapped fat man.



I never thought I'd find a group of people worse than Leafs fans, yet there they are: the Calgary Flames bandwagon. It's just an offside...stop cheering you imbeciles!
pmroxh
Medisterpoelse








Since: 11.6.04
From: Starkville, MS

Since last post: 3787 days
Last activity: 3768 days
AIM:  
ICQ:  
#15 Posted on
    Originally posted by BigVitoMark
    Let's not forget them doing this exact same angle with Paul Bearer in Heyman's role, holding the "secret" of Kane over UT's head instead of a kidnapped fat man.


Well, it has been 7 years since that angle. Isn't that the statute of limitations on angle theft?
BigVitoMark
Lap cheong








Since: 10.8.02
From: Queen's University, Canada

Since last post: 3379 days
Last activity: 3289 days
ICQ:  
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.11
I suppose, if you're talking about a different company or at the very least different characters. I'm less than impressed that they're into month number three with Undertaker's reworked persona and already falling back on angles they've done before.



On June 28th, Help Harper Clean Up This Town!
Phantom
Frankfurter








Since: 17.3.02

Since last post: 2377 days
Last activity: 2353 days
#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.70
The current Taker story is all about nostalgia, pure and simple. But Iíll agree that if nothing else, they really should have spent more time reestablishing Bearer and why Taker needs to rely on him again. As it is, heís just a guy who kinda follows Taker around, and Iím actually finding that Iím less concerned about what happens to him than I was when Hogan ran over Takerís motorcycle.
JesseLman
Braunschweiger








Since: 10.7.02
From: Staten Island, NYC

Since last post: 3010 days
Last activity: 2989 days
#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.00
I'm not sure, but I think Renee Dupree's "fucked up armdrag" was actually an attempt at powerslam, except that he somehow managed to let go of Cena mid-move, sending Cena flying across the ring to land awkwardly on his hip.

The second one was definately a powerslam attempt, and it was UGLY. Seriously, it look Cena jumped up into Dupree's arms, but Dupree started turning before Cena was into his body enough, so he just kind of twirled Cena around, arms extended, then fell down on top of him. Maybe his WANG OF ASTOUNDING got in the way.

And is it just me, or does Cena's finisher get weaker and weaker looking every week? At first, it was a non-head-droppy release Death Valley Driver, and at least looked *somewhat* painful. Now, it's basically just a standing firemans carry takeover, and looks less painful than a bodyslam. At least with a bodyslam you THROW the guy down. The way Cena's been hitting the F-U, he just kinda flips the guy off his shoulders and lets him drop. It's basically a hip toss. And a hip toss is NOT a credible finisher. =P
ScreamingHeadGuy
Frankfurter








Since: 1.2.02
From: Appleton, WI

Since last post: 750 days
Last activity: 750 days
#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.41
DEAN - you apologize for mailing it in why? That's the effort we've been seeing on Smackdown! for months now. There's absolutely no reason to be sorry for not having an article to out-perform the show it's about.

This show needed more wang.



"ScreamingHeadGuy, don't fear the wang. Know the wang. Embrace the wang. BE the wang....."
- heed the wisdom of DEAN
hhhgamewmx7
Bockwurst








Since: 15.6.03
From: Eire

Since last post: 3267 days
Last activity: 3245 days
#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.06
Well, I didnt think it was possible but Smackdown was actually better the Raw this week IMO. Smackdown had one suburb match (Cruiser), a very good one (triple play) and a funny angle with JBL/Eddie. I like the Taker angle when he joined Heyman, reminded me of the old days. Raw on the other hand had no suburb or very good matches, just ok ones.



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