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The W - Pro Wrestling - the mighty mighty WWE SMACKDOWN WORKRATE REPORT- 4/1/2004!
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DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1350 days
Last activity: 1347 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
I'm on vacation this week so this will be listless and crappy so ENJOY! I'ma drink a couple PBR long necks (cuz I'm GAY!) and watch the wrestling. I'll try not to nap or drift off but I guarantee nothing.

WHAT WORKED-

- Kurt Angle comes out. I get up and get a beer. Maybe I'll start this weeks Baron segment. I go and change the lightbulb in the hallway. I return. I think about my pants and when I should change into sweatpants. Hey, it's the Big Show and Rikishi. Big Show's headbutt goes awry. Big Show no-sells the stinkface which is odd. Big Show with the comical chokeslam. I wasn't paying attention so I give it the benefit of the doubt and stick it here.

- THE SECRET ADVENTURES OF AL WILSON.

"BILL! Bill, come here. Zere is a baseball game on and you are not vatching? Zat is the Rick Camp- your favorite RELIEEEVAH."

"Baron, you should know by now that my favorite reliever is Jesse Orosco. He, Fernandez, Darling, Gooden- Mets are tripendicular this year. I don't have time to watch baseball. I'm hoping to be tagging a young lady this fine evening."

"Oh you have a date tonight. I had forgotten zat you had screwed your manhood to ze sticking place and asked Susan out."

"YEah, Susan is cool. All I wanna do is zoom zoom zoom in the boom boom."

"Yes, I vould also enjoy the pleasure her divine hind qvarters..."

"Yeah, well get in line. I'm on deck tonight. Jesus, I better get some trim out of this. We're gonna go see fuckin Gene Loves Jezebel at the Roxy. I don't know why girls like that shit."

"Chene Lufs Jezabel is a good pop band. Very good hooks. It is not ze Scorpions or Kraftwerk but it is perfectly fine."

"Yeah, whatever. It's not like we're going to see the Dream Syndicate or the Darling Hoods or anything. Like last week when I saw That Petrol Emo.... Fuck. Shit, I completely forgot. I need to drop off my research paper. When Susan gets here, tell I'll be back in about 45 minutes. Shit."

"I vill do zis for mein fruende." Baron drinks a beer and can't stop thinking about Susan's sweet ass.

TO BE CONTINUED...

- Bradshaw is fucking GREAT as a heel. The advice to the driver and then the "You'll do fine" was fucking beautiful.

- Spike versus Rey Rey! Oh Spike and Rey Rey versus Chavos Guerrerro! WITH NEW ORGASMIC MUSIC! AWEESOME! Luchatastic early with elaborate armdrags. Chavo Sr comes in and puts the boots to Rey Rey and hits the SWANK old school butterfly suplex. Chavocito starts working on the arm and then kinda flounders around trying to creat something for Rey to work out of. Spike with a hottag and Chavo finally throws him into the corner. Chavocito with the SWEET lariat over the corner to save his dad. Spike gets the pin Chavocito. Bradshaw comes out and kills Spike and Rey Rey. I like the tag win for Spike. Bradshaw killing two cruiserweights brings back too many bad memories.

- RVD is on my television machine. Two weeks in a row, Charlie Haas assumes his role as Randy Rose after the Midnight Express vs the Original Midnight Express feud. RVD does comically fruity spin kicks to show that he knows MIXED MARTIAL ARTS~! MORE SPIN KICKS! Haas works on RVD's leg and all get to lauf and lauf and lauf as he doesn't sell it at all. Charlie bumps big to the floor. RVD does the world's stupidest looking monkey flip and JESUS I have not drank enough beer to watch this shit. Poor Charlie Haas. What a pro. Anyhoos. Charlie goes back to the knee and RVD actually isn't that horrible selling the leglock. RVD escapes and hits the Rolling Thunder and does more of the unlikely kicks to make comebacks. Haas bumps huge after RVD misses the Frogsplash. The double Van Daminator on the piscado for a double count out is a cool finish and ANGLE gives it to HASS ON POINTS! THAT'S DICKLIKE! I LOVE IT. Sooooo in the worked column.

- "MicroTouch goes where Razors and Scissors were never meant to go." What the fuck? STICK ONE UP YOUR BUTT! Ooooooo vibraty...... The grooming kit includes every grooming tool you'll ever need? 55 gallon barrel of anti-behind-the-ear-wax solvent? Awesome. Thank you MicroTouch.

- THEY BOOED BOOK! Booker T versus Hardcore Holly! Jeezuz. Holly comes to the ring and I long for the sublime wrestling ability Bill DeMott. BILL. DEMOTT! Holly's punches don't suck this week. his lariat sucks though. Yes. They suck. Yes. Booker T with the unlikely offense. nice Vertical Suplex by Holly. Did Fit Finlay take Holly aside and show him how to punch or something? Holly works on the arm and I'm kinda digging this. Booker T with the nice Flair AWA kneedrop. Holly punches to comeback and Booker T elbows out of the corner to cut him off. Holly knife edge chops to a comeback. Holly goes back to the arm and suddenly I'm really digging this . Booker T with the Hot Shot and double lariat bump to the floor as we go to a commercial. When we return, Holly takes the brunt of Booker's comical offense but Holly makes the scissor-kick look fucking beautiful. Booker takes the Vertical to the floor and, for some reason, Booker T goes on offense. Booker goes for the Sleeper and Holly hits a side suplex. Holly gets an extended hope spot and brings a nice dropkick for two. Booker T fires back with a Nodawa for two. Holly with a... something... for two and then a flashpin as Booker hits the roll-up and a handful of tights. Well THAT was 500% better than I thought it would be. So Booker T is GOD?

- Spike was great postmatch: "Yeah, it was from hell." BAM! The Teddy Long PLAYAZ CARD! But not for Spike? DOLLAH DOLLAH BILL!

- AWESOME! Eddy with the Plymouth Falcon lowrider! AWWWESOME!

- Reneee Duupre with the French Poodle. And he's not wrestling. Yes, that works. So UPN has a new Faces of Death-like show. How is that One On One show? OH! Reeene is at ringside. Awwww, what a beautiful dog. Poodles were used as hunting dog by the French Aristocracy and are actually bad assed beasts. Cena is jealous of Reeenee and Coles love. Cena offers his testicles to Duuprre once again. Johnny the Bull comes out. Nunzio is with him. GODDAM. NUNZIO JUST FUCKING DIES FOR YOU. He dies for you. Cena F-U's Johnny the Bull and that's that. Reenee is not impressed. "Get away from my dog, you crazy freak!" Okay, I'm going to beat the Christmas rush and start loving Renee Duppre now.

- Eddy doesn't wear the belt because he isn't in his wrestling gear- JUST LIKE FLAIR. He snatches the MIC! He and Angle don't like each other. Bradshaw comes out with his limo. He is fabulous being an evil overgrown redneck. Bradshaw talks about his thousand dollar hat and three thousand dollar suit! JUST LIKE FLAIR! DON'T DESECRATE MAH HAT!! Fucking beautiful. Hat-stomping is soooooo fucking old school. Eddy is your GOD.

WHAT DIDN'T WORK-

- The Dudley Boys. Akio and Sakoda. I assume this is a squash match. Finally! Something that didn't work. Actually, Bubba looked pretty good in this selling a lowgrade assbeating and hitting some nice spots. D-Von throws the worst punches in the history of wrestling to finally fill out the bottom section here. Peeeee-YU!

THERE YOU HAVE IT.

DEAN RASMUSSEN.






YES, I AM DEAN.
Promote this thread!
redsoxnation
Scrapple








Since: 24.7.02

Since last post: 537 days
Last activity: 537 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.65
Always nice to see our spiritual leader Baron. But, what happened to him learning the secret of ze claw?
Anytime Chavo Sr. wrestles, its a good time.
Spike Dudley wins? Maybe SD is the B-Show if that is happening.
Bradshaw is Bradshaw. Ric Flair is Ric Flair. Bradshaw is not Ric Flair.



Why is TVLand stealing my ideas from DEAN's Workrate Report's? They had to be stealing, as I thought I had the only demented mind that could put Bea Arthur and Abe Vigoda in a sex scene.
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1350 days
Last activity: 1347 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by redsoxnation
    Always nice to see our spiritual leader Baron. But, what happened to him learning the secret of ze claw?

    DR: Goddam, you gotta let me build up to it. High Spot freaks....



    YES, I AM DEAN.
Stilton
Frankfurter








Since: 7.2.04
From: Canada

Since last post: 3242 days
Last activity: 3242 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.67
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    I'm on vacation this week so this will be listless and crappy so ENJOY! ......Reneee Duupre with the French Poodle. And he's not wrestling. Yes, that works. So UPN has a new Faces of Death-like show. How is that One On One show? OH! Reeene is at ringside. Awwww, what a beautiful dog. Poodles were used as hunting dog by the French Aristocracy and are actually bad assed beasts. Cena is jealous of Reeenee and Coles love. Cena offers his testicles to Duuprre once again. Johnny the Bull comes out. Nunzio is with him. GODDAM. NUNZIO JUST FUCKING DIES FOR YOU. He dies for you. Cena F-U's Johnny the Bull and that's that. Reenee is not impressed. "Get away from my dog, you crazy freak!" Okay, I'm going to beat the Christmas rush and start loving Renee Duppre now.


Je parle un peux du Francais. C'est "Rene" avec les duex "e", et son surnom est "Dupree" avec un "u", un "p", et deux "e".

But I'm in complete agreement, Dean. Let's all start loving Dupree now. This kid is a mountian of talent and has potential like I haven't seen in many, many years. He's got a HUGE career ahead of him. He's somehow become, in recent weeks, just riveting.

(edited by Stilton on 2.4.04 0215)


So sayeth Randy Stilton, the real Stinky Cheese Man!

(I'm told that, in the UK, my name is actually hilarious.)
SC
Potato korv








Since: 11.12.01
From: Valparaiso, IN

Since last post: 1386 days
Last activity: 720 days
AIM:  
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.32
    Originally posted by Stilton
    Let's all start loving Dupree now. This kid is a mountian of talent and has potential like I haven't seen in many, many years. He's got a HUGE career ahead of him. He's somehow become, in recent weeks, just riveting.


What the. Potential like you haven't seen in *years*? Brock Lesnar? Shelton Benjamin?

It's also really strange timing how WWE starts calling him a blue-chipper and all of a sudden people are like, hey, yeah, this guy's gonna be GOOD. I don't really disagree and I'm not saying you're all sheep to the blue-chipper buzz, but I just find it all amazingly coincidental.



scottcom
cubs.org

CRZ
Big Brother
Administrator








Since: 9.12.01
From: ミネアポリス

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 16 hours
AIM:  
ICQ:  
Y!:
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.65
    Originally posted by ScottieKStones
      Originally posted by Stilton
      Let's all start loving Dupree now. This kid is a mountian of talent and has potential like I haven't seen in many, many years. He's got a HUGE career ahead of him. He's somehow become, in recent weeks, just riveting.


    What the. Potential like you haven't seen in *years*? Brock Lesnar? Shelton Benjamin?

    It's also really strange timing how WWE starts calling him a blue-chipper and all of a sudden people are like, hey, yeah, this guy's gonna be GOOD. I don't really disagree and I'm not saying you're all sheep to the blue-chipper buzz, but I just find it all amazingly coincidental.
He has a DOG now!



CRZ
Torchslasher
Knackwurst








Since: 17.1.02
From: New F'n Jersey

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 1 day
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.75
So when DEAN is sober and on vacation, suddenly the entire show works for him? Shouldn't this be the other way around? And loving a match with Hardcore Holly? Where is the real DEAN?

Oh wait, I forgot. No Kidman this week. It all makes perfect sense now.



Behold the scary undead powers of WESTERN-TAKER!
Joe E. Nitro
Salami








Since: 4.2.04

Since last post: 3689 days
Last activity: 1170 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.23

    I'ma drink a couple PBR long necks (cuz I'm GAY!) and watch the wrestling


Isn't that sorta like drinking water compared to the usual Thursday beverages? Bring back the beer reviews!


DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1350 days
Last activity: 1347 days
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
Je parle un peux du Francais. C'est "Rene" avec les duex "e", et son surnom est "Dupree" avec un "u", un "p", et deux "e".

DR: Le tranche de jambon est une bibliotheque! Salle de bain! J'ai descendu!

That's all I remember from 7 years of French.



YES, I AM DEAN.
JoshMann
Andouille








Since: 17.11.03
From: Tallahassee, FL

Since last post: 2350 days
Last activity: 2348 days
AIM:  
Y!:
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.54
Meh. All I can remember is to count to ten "welcome", "hello", "goodbye", "ham" and "cheese".

And I'm pretty sure some of those come from bilingual billboards/food packaging

(edited by Blanket Jackson on 2.4.04 0959)


In Your Face, Charlie Murphy (w/ actual updates!!)
Parts Unknown
Lap cheong








Since: 2.1.02
From: Darkenwood

Since last post: 26 days
Last activity: 10 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.57
DEAN -
I noticed something weird last night. During Eddie's music, right when the guy stops singing and during the musical bridge, IT SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE THE VERSES of DOWN ON THE CORNER by Creedance.

Dun-dun-dah
DUT DAH
dut
DUT DAH
dut
DUT DAH!



"My image spoke to me, yes, to me and often said...YOU ARE THE SON OF INCESTUOUS UNION." - The Pixies, Nimrod's Son
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1350 days
Last activity: 1347 days
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by Parts Unknown
    DEAN -
    I noticed something weird last night. During Eddie's music, right when the guy stops singing and during the musical bridge, IT SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE THE VERSES of DOWN ON THE CORNER by Creedance.

    Dun-dun-dah
    DUT DAH
    dut
    DUT DAH
    dut
    DUT DAH!


DR: Did you notice that Chavo's new music is like a Poison outtake?



YES, I AM DEAN.
Phantom
Frankfurter








Since: 17.3.02

Since last post: 2433 days
Last activity: 2410 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.90
There needs to be more credit given to last nights dramatic presentation of Death Of An Italian. In an era when the WWE is trying to cut down on the sick bumps and move to a slower-paced technical match, there is still one man willing to rebel and take the big fall off the top rope to the floor!

For gods sake, why havent they ever given Nunzio a chance to actually get over?
Stilton
Frankfurter








Since: 7.2.04
From: Canada

Since last post: 3242 days
Last activity: 3242 days
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.67
    Originally posted by ScottieKStones
      Originally posted by Stilton
      Let's all start loving Dupree now. This kid is a mountian of talent and has potential like I haven't seen in many, many years. He's got a HUGE career ahead of him. He's somehow become, in recent weeks, just riveting.


    What the. Potential like you haven't seen in *years*? Brock Lesnar? Shelton Benjamin?

    It's also really strange timing how WWE starts calling him a blue-chipper and all of a sudden people are like, hey, yeah, this guy's gonna be GOOD. I don't really disagree and I'm not saying you're all sheep to the blue-chipper buzz, but I just find it all amazingly coincidental.


Well, to tell you the truth, it took me a while to be convinced about Brock. Maybe it was the heavy-handed push. As for Shelton, I'm not so sure "potential" is the right word for him. I think he's already there.

And like CRZ says, Rene has a dog now.

(edited by Stilton on 2.4.04 1321)


So sayeth Randy Stilton, the real Stinky Cheese Man!

(I'm told that, in the UK, my name is actually hilarious.)
Parts Unknown
Lap cheong








Since: 2.1.02
From: Darkenwood

Since last post: 26 days
Last activity: 10 days
#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.57
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
      Originally posted by Parts Unknown
      DEAN -
      I noticed something weird last night. During Eddie's music, right when the guy stops singing and during the musical bridge, IT SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE THE VERSES of DOWN ON THE CORNER by Creedance.

      Dun-dun-dah
      DUT DAH
      dut
      DUT DAH
      dut
      DUT DAH!


    DR: Did you notice that Chavo's new music is like a Poison outtake?


Sadly, I missed Chavito's new muzak.



"My image spoke to me, yes, to me and often said...YOU ARE THE SON OF INCESTUOUS UNION." - The Pixies, Nimrod's Son
asteroidboy
Andouille








Since: 22.1.02
From: Texas

Since last post: 1488 days
Last activity: 396 days
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.95
    Originally posted by CRZ
      Originally posted by ScottieKStones
        Originally posted by Stilton
        Let's all start loving Dupree now. This kid is a mountian of talent and has potential like I haven't seen in many, many years. He's got a HUGE career ahead of him. He's somehow become, in recent weeks, just riveting.


      What the. Potential like you haven't seen in *years*? Brock Lesnar? Shelton Benjamin?

      It's also really strange timing how WWE starts calling him a blue-chipper and all of a sudden people are like, hey, yeah, this guy's gonna be GOOD. I don't really disagree and I'm not saying you're all sheep to the blue-chipper buzz, but I just find it all amazingly coincidental.
    He has a DOG now!


And a robe. Both of these props have made me care about him more. I have no idea why.



-- Asteroid Boy


Wiener of the day: 23.7.02, 3.12.03

"In addition, my tickets werent really what youd expect from the webmaster of the internets largest independent pro-wrestling website." - Widro

"My brother saw the Undertaker walking through an airport." - Rex
"Was he no-selling?" - Me


Llakor
Landjager








Since: 2.1.02
From: Montreal, Quebec, CANADA

Since last post: 619 days
Last activity: 611 days
AIM:  
#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.24
This seems to be the week for teeing off on DEAN for his spelling of the names of French wrestlers...

(EDOUARD Carpentier not Edward)

That said, in DEAN's defence it should be pointed out that even Rene changes his mind how to spell it.

His dad Emil spells it "Dupre"

I have seen it as "Dupree" "Dupres" "Duprix" "Dupr" in a variety of promotions. He has also used "Rene Rougeau" and "Rene E Dupre"

His real name is Rene Goguen for those who care about that sort of thing.

And I just would like to point out that I have been saying that Rene is a blue chipper since before the No Way out where Sylvain Grenier appeared (and I marked like a bitch thinking that it was Rene until I figured out it was just Sly.)



"Don't Blame CANADA, Blame Yourselves!"
Hoodle
Bauerwurst








Since: 19.12.03

Since last post: 3423 days
Last activity: 3418 days
#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.47
    Originally posted by ScottieKStones
      Originally posted by Stilton
      Let's all start loving Dupree now. This kid is a mountian of talent and has potential like I haven't seen in many, many years. He's got a HUGE career ahead of him. He's somehow become, in recent weeks, just riveting.


    What the. Potential like you haven't seen in *years*? Brock Lesnar? Shelton Benjamin?

    It's also really strange timing how WWE starts calling him a blue-chipper and all of a sudden people are like, hey, yeah, this guy's gonna be GOOD. I don't really disagree and I'm not saying you're all sheep to the blue-chipper buzz, but I just find it all amazingly coincidental.


Wait, wait, wait. WWE has been calling Orton a "Blue Chipper" for months and the internet has largely revolted - so, no fair to imply we just follow the leader here. Many people were not convinced of Brock for a long time, either, despite WWE's insistence.

Besides, I think Rene has loads more charisma than Brock did. (Don't get me wrong, I loved Brock, but his appeal was mostly in his background, ringwork and appearance.)

As far as Benjamin is concered, Rene has more realistic potential in WWE because Renee has the neoclassic "WWE Main Event Physique." And lest we forget, Dupree's ONLY 20! Rene has up to two decades of wrestling stardom ahead of him, if he wants them and avoids injury.

I honestly believe that, barring catastrophe, 5 years from now, people may speak of Rene Dupree in the same breath as "Kurt Angle."


(edited by Hoodle on 2.4.04 1104)

(edited by Hoodle on 2.4.04 1104)
JayJayDean
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02
From: Seattle, WA

Since last post: 5 days
Last activity: 1 day
AIM:  
Y!:
#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.99
    Originally posted by Hoodle
    And lest we forget, Dupree's ONLY 20! Rene has up to two decades of wrestling stardom ahead of him, if he wants them and avoids injury.


And if he lives that long. [/cynicism]





To get ass, youve got to bring ass." -- Roy Jones Jr.

"Your input has been noted.
I hope you don't take it personally if I disregard it."
-- Guru Zim

"Speak English or face admin retribution." -- CRZ
tasslex
Salami








Since: 15.10.02
From: Eagan, MN

Since last post: 3722 days
Last activity: 3679 days
#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.98
    Originally posted by Hoodle
    Wait, wait, wait. WWE has been calling Orton a "Blue Chipper" for months and the internet has largely revolted

Wait, wait, the same internet that was loving RNN and his percentage updates on the elbow? You guys seriously need to make up your minds.



I dont go to sleep at night, I job to my blankets.

When my mom dies I'd like to know it was peacefully in her sleep, and not fucked to death by 38 men with AIDS.
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I think I read that the EWR updaters thought it would be easier to keep them as the Dudleys for now rather than change to their real names and confuse people before it was official.
- Mr. Boffo, The Dudley Boyz sign with TNA (2005)
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