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20.12.14 2001
The W - Pro Wrestling - The "Michael Cole SUCKS" Thread
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Kawshen
Liverwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Bronx, NY

Since last post: 2017 days
Last activity: 277 days
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#1 Posted on
Seriously, I mean no offense to those of you who are fans of Michael Cole. But I have to be honest.

This guy sucks. He really does.

He shills like hell and (for a guy who's supposed to be the play-by-play man) he doesn't seem to know what the hell is going on in the ring and the guy insults people's intelligence so often.

Yeah, JR does the same - in addition to giving verbal fellatio to Steve Austin and he forgets people's names - but at least he WATCHES THE MATCH and calls the action like he's supposed to.

Here are some Cole moments for example:
- right before WM15, he referred to Austin as "the NEW WWF champion."
- Booker is about to do the spinaroonie. Cole: "Why is he staring at his hand, King?"
- I forget which match it was but someone whipped someone else into the steel steps. Cole: "OH MY GOD - he was whipped into the steel chairs."
- (Frequent Occurrence) Vince McMahon pulls up in the limo backstage. Cole: "What's HE doing here, King????"
- Calls Booker's Scissors Kick a "Leg Scissors".
- Angle with a German Suplex. Cole: "WHATTASLAM!" or "WHATTAMANOOVER!" or "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"
- About 10-15 times during an Edge or RVD match: "What's gonna happen later on tonight, King????"

Now, don't get me wrong. Cole did some stuff very well.

He played the awesome role of Austin's punching bag back on the SD before KOTR 2001.

Stick this man backstage where he belongs. PLEASE. I'd rather have Tazz doing play-by-play at this point. He may be a marblemouth but at least he pays attention to the match and knows what the moves' names are. :)




Can you dig it, sucka?
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Jaguar
Knackwurst








Since: 23.1.02
From: Phoenix, AZ

Since last post: 257 days
Last activity: 58 days
#2 Posted on
Ditto everything you said Kawshen. This constant barrage of Michael Cole has got to stop! I think he ruins Smackdown for me even more than Lawler ruins RAW for me. And Lawler's only really horrible when there are women about.


-Jag
LeechOfTheNight
Head cheese








Since: 16.1.02
From: New Hampshire

Since last post: 4238 days
Last activity: 3379 days
#3 Posted on
Seriously, I mean no offense to those of you who are fans of Michael Cole. But I have to be honest.

Are there actually fans of Michael Cole out there?



"Damn you Rock-Em Sock-Em Robots! Can't we all just get along?"
MarchOfThePigs
Salami








Since: 10.2.02
From: Sudbury, Ontario

Since last post: 4534 days
Last activity: 4465 days
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#4 Posted on
Living at home in canada with my parents who refuse to get digital cable, I don't get UPN and as such, am not forced to sit through Michael Cole's commentary. But i'm sure his annoyances can't be nearly as bad as jim ross' sucking off of steve austin... who did Ross have sex with on monday night? Austin was in jail and rock is practically dead...



"How does it feel? Suck. Suck. Suck. SUCK!!"
Tom Dean
Bockwurst








Since: 30.8.02
From: New York, NY

Since last post: 3364 days
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#5 Posted on
He sure does suck. Here is just one reason why (there are many): I've heard him do both Smackdown and Metal many times, and he does them exactly the same. He's not capable of understanding that only one of those shows is supposed to be a "shill stuff and fill the audience in on the ongoing plots" time-killer.



C'MON BABY!
ekedolphin
Scrapple








Since: 12.1.02
From: Indianapolis, IN; now residing in Suffolk, VA

Since last post: 185 days
Last activity: 23 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.01
Well, given the absence of Austin and The Rock, I'd have to say Ross was most likely to “have sex with” Triple H. LOL...

Both Ross and Cole are annoying. I know a few wrestling fans who could do better. Kinda scary that both of 'em likely have broadcasting degrees, huh?



The preceding announcement has been paid for by the New World Order.
Catapult
Pinkelwurst








Since: 19.1.02

Since last post: 3406 days
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#7 Posted on
I agree with the negativity towards Michael Cole. To me, Cole is worse than Schivone. Yeah, that bad. Cole is completely robotic, his emotions seem very ingenuine, he doesn't seem to be capable of having an entertaining back and forth with a color man, and his voice is just plain annoying.

I just worry about what happens when JR decides to leave the commentators' table.
Super Shane Spear
Bierwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Sector 7 Slums

Since last post: 1650 days
Last activity: 1650 days
#8 Posted on
Well, if you all were looking for a Cole fan, here I am. I even voted him as Best Announcer in the RSPW awards. He's the only guy in the world who remembers what the "Edge-o-Matic" was, and until recently he was the only guy who could call the unprettier correctly. He's no more of a shill machine than Ross.

I'm not claiming that he's the best announcer ever. He's nowhere near Ross, Solie, or Gorilla at their peaks. He's just the best right now. Not that there's much non-indy competition (Borash, Tony, Ross, Coach, Kelly.)



"Nobody loves the custodian. I come and I sweep and vacuum for you. When you're in the mood to go to the bathroom, I even disinfect it for you! This is the thanks I get?!? All who defy me shall be dis-infected!"
cfgb
Bierwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Ottawa, Ontario

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 3 hours
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.87
Are there actually fans of Michael Cole out there?

I am. He's the best of a sad talent pool of play-by-play guys in the wrestling world today. Aside from Gorilla Monsoon and Gordon Solie, I have yet to hear a guy I REALLY dig. (Though I have a soft spot for Schiavone) Jim Ross annoys me to no end with his tired phrases. There was a time his screaming of HE'S BEEN BROKEN IN HALF wasn't a joke, but I've heard him say it following a Chokeslam now. He verbally felates Steve Austin and doesn't give a shit about half the wrestlers on the roster.

Michael Cole tries. He's not a natural announcer - or at least a sportz entertainment announcer.

Until someone better comes along, I'll take Cole.




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ironcladlou
Potato korv








Since: 2.1.02
From: Quincy, MA

Since last post: 2323 days
Last activity: 2175 days
#10 Posted on
I was gonna say something about Cole confusing "steel chairs" and "steel stairs", but I'm absolutely stupified by one of cfgb's comments. You actually like Tony Schiavone as a commentator? Really? For the love of god, why?



Addy
Bauerwurst








Since: 24.1.02
From: Melbourne, Aussie Land

Since last post: 4638 days
Last activity: 4635 days
#11 Posted on
    Originally posted by LeechOfTheNight
    Seriously, I mean no offense to those of you who are fans of Michael Cole. But I have to be honest.

    Are there actually fans of Michael Cole out there?



I know you guys are not going to believe this, but there is a Michael Cole web page! No, really.

Click here

Scared? You should be!

(edited by Addy on 22.2.02 0207)
"Playoffs? Don't talk about playoffs. Are you kidding me? Playoffs? I'm just hoping we can win a game, another game." - Jim Mora
Jaguar
Knackwurst








Since: 23.1.02
From: Phoenix, AZ

Since last post: 257 days
Last activity: 58 days
#12 Posted on
That IS scary.

-jag
BrewGuy
Kolbasz








Since: 2.1.02
From: Pickering, Ontario

Since last post: 604 days
Last activity: 348 days
AIM:  
ICQ:  
#13 Posted on
I like Michael Cole's work - I admit he gets under my skin sometimes, but I submit that Cole is simply a "face announcer" - he simply defys logic in a babyface way, the same way Paul Heyman defied logic in a heel way. I'd submit that we just happen to think that defying logic as a heel is much funnier than doing so as a face.

I freely admit that I rolled my eyes when I kept hearing Cole say "the nWo are getting a taste of his own medicine". So, it's not ok for the nWo to commit assault with a deadly weapon and attempted vehicular manslaughter (for lack of a better name), but it IS ok for Austin to commit six counts of assault with a deadly weapon and kidnapping? Yeah, that bugged me - but I don't know if that kind of thing would bug the general wrestling audience, simply because it's the face doing the 'hanous acts' - or maybe I just take wrestling too seriously; take yer pic.

My humble suggestion would've been for Cole to say "This isn't right, King. Austin has assaulted and kidnapped Scott Hall! This is not right at all! But how could you blame the man? Look what he's been through! Look what the nWo did to him!" THAT would've ruled the school.

(edited by BrewGuy on 22.2.02 0856)
Mr Tuesday
Kolbasz








Since: 6.1.02
From: Chicago, IL

Since last post: 925 days
Last activity: 631 days
#14 Posted on
As an announcer, Cole sucks. But you should hear him during the Smackdown Live feed!

I heard a few soundclips from two weeks ago, during the comercial breaks, he runs down the crowd. He complains that the only women who wave to him during the show are the fat ones, then he did a "Henry Godwin Pig call". He finds it funny that all the Austin fans run all over themselves when they played the "Austin Desire" video. Then complains that Lawler gets candy to eat during the show(But lawler was nice enough to share).

So, not only does Cole suck as an announcer, but he sucks as a person, too!



Go into the sand, and the dust, and the sky


Go now, there's no better plan, than to do or to die


Free me, pray to the faith in the face of the light


Feed me, fill me with sin, and get ready to fight

CajunMan
Boudin blanc
No longer registered








Since: 2.1.02
From: Give me a Title shot!

Since last post: 1157 days
Last activity: 295 days
#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.00
Michael Cole can call a match at least. Outstide the Ring he is a total @ss. Last year after a Smackdown I hung around the backstage area, Alot of wrestlers were signing autographs but here comes Cole "Get on my Fukin way, I'm not signing autographs." I thought the way he(Cole) handled the situation was uncalled for.



In The O'Reilly Factor I Trust.
Super Shane Spear
Bierwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Sector 7 Slums

Since last post: 1650 days
Last activity: 1650 days
#16 Posted on
Tazz was talking on Byte This either last week or the week before about how Michael Cole isn't the goody two-shoes he comes off as on TV. He was joking with Kevin Kelly how he bitches backstage all the time.



"Nobody loves the custodian. I come and I sweep and vacuum for you. When you're in the mood to go to the bathroom, I even disinfect it for you! This is the thanks I get?!? All who defy me shall be dis-infected!"
Y2Disco
Mettwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Pennsburg, PA

Since last post: 3870 days
Last activity: 3623 days
AIM:  
#17 Posted on
Goes to show you. Cole has to endorse his own appreciation page.

The only thing Cole was good for was the 'raping' Austin gave him. I say they should replace Cole with Joey Styles.



"If you like to fight girls so much, why don't you meet me in the ring?"
-Jeff Hardy
Tom Dean
Bockwurst








Since: 30.8.02
From: New York, NY

Since last post: 3364 days
Last activity: 2734 days
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#18 Posted on
Well, if he has a personality (even a prick one), he should really start showing it. That's the basic thing he lacks.



C'MON BABY!
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- Peter The Hegemon, Chris Benoit Movie (2011)
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