Following on the heels of SummerSlam, it's time for The Great Thomas SmackDown! Report!
Guerrero The Elder: He leaves his lowrider with the valet parking, comes in through the crowd, and gives Cole a sombrero. HUGE crowd pop for their hometown hero. Ooooh, Guerrero family history! Cena's out to insult Eddie, so Eddie must be a face now. Cena challenges Eddie for the U.S. Title. Eddie accepts! Afterward, Eddie beats down Cena and throws him out of the ring.
Mysterio vs. Nunzio: The ref sends Palumbo and Stamboli to the back. Nunzio counters the West Coast Pop into a powerbomb. Mysterio wins via top-rope legdrop.
The Rock: He plays "Beck" in the new movie "The Rundown", in theaters September 26.
Benoit vs. A-Train: Look! Sable is A-Train's valet! Note: Sable's turn-ons are huge, hairy men. Tiger Driver to Chestbuster by A-Train. Benoit hits the SWANDIVE HEADBUTT! Benoit wins via Crossface, even though A-Train's legs were UNDER THE BOTTOM ROPE. Even Sable and the announcers point it out.
A-Train: He finds Benoit and tells him he can't beat him. Then, Rhyno AL GORES Benoit through the door.
Guerrero The Elder: Someone stole his tire, and he ain't too happy about it!
Lesnar: He's pissed that people have been telling him he tapped out. Kurt appears on the Titantron to insult Lesnar. Just as Kurt's about to come down to the ring, here comes Undertaker. He says he wants his title shot. Here comes the Big Show, here to save the segment from Undertaker's shittiness. He says HE should be the #1 contender, and NOW Kurt comes out. He says he doesn't care who he faces. Now Stephie's out! She books a Triple Threat match tonight for the #1 contendership!
Cena vs. Guerrero The Elder: He comes out with Eddie's tire. EDDIE ATTACKS! Cena's been busted open! Brawling galore! Eddie nails Cena with a chair after distracting the ref with a tire. Let's go to commercial break!
Cena vs. Guerrero the Elder (cont.): Cena works on Eddie's now-injured back. SUPERMAN COMEBACK! Cena kicks out of the Frog Splash! The fans are fired up! Eddie wins via DQ after a blatant low blow by Cena. Afterwards, Cena delivers the chainshots to Eddie, and gives him the F-U on the tire!
The Main Event: Taker comes out WITHOUT his bike. Kurt's out to do Guest Commentary. Let's go to commercial break!
The Main Event (cont.): Lesnar and Brock team up on the Undertaker. Brock hits a belly-belly suplex on the Big Show. Taker does the SUPERMAN COMEBACK! The Big Show whacks Taker with a steel chair, then punches the same chair into Lesnar's face! I love the Big Show! Let's go to commercial break!
The Main Event (cont.) Kurt sounds concerned on commentary. Chokeslams galore! Brock hits a vertical suplex to the Big Show! Brock kicks out of AAAAAAHTHECHOKESLAAAAM! Taker wins via Last Ride. It's Angle vs. Taker next week!
That's all for this week. Until then, Good Night, take care of yourselves, and I'm saving up my pennies for SoulCalibur II. I [heart] Seung Mina.
VOTE4WOZ.COM A VOTE FOR WOZ IS A VOTE FOR A BETTER CALIFORNIA MICHAEL J. WOZNIAK FOR GOVERNOR
It's my life, my time, my rights, my rhyme. It's Smackdown! from El Paso, and a Fashion Report, too!
Eddie, arriving in a red convertable (backwards writing), to LOTSA cheers, in greyblue/white shirt and black pants, carrying the US Title, through the crowd. I don't understand half of the stuff he says. Which is ironic, 'cuz that brings out Cena, in maroon "Massachusets" jersey (#32, Ewing), jean shorts, Adidas visor, and lock 'n chain, to rap-out Eddie. Book a match - Eddie vs. Cena, for the US Title (and, I presume, Eddie's sister - or not). 16 minutes.
Rey, in black "Rey 619" plate tshirt, silver/pink mask and "619" trunks, wearing the Cruiserweight Title, vs. Nunzio, in red "FBI" undies and matching kneepads and boots, with Chuck 'n Johnny...or not; Jimmy Corderas sends the boys to the back. Sign of the night: "2". Legdrop to a pin. A good match.
Benoit, in blue "Toothless Aggression" tights with wolverine head vs. Albert, in black crested undies, with Sable, in black dress with lace-up sides. Crossface to a submission.
Eddie hurts the air, but someguy in white shirt, interrupts 'cuz something happened to the car.
During the break, Rhyno (and a blue door) take-out Benoit; Albert looks on. Meanwhile, Eddie's car is up on cinderblocks. Th APA, Orland, Funaki, Chuck and Johnny all look on.
Lesnar, in black undiew with butt-ribs, not happy-dancing, is out. He cuts an angry-man promo; a slightly delusional angry-man (madman?) promo. He even does the not-so-subtle shaking. Angle, on the screen, enrages Brock even further; he's coming out. But wait - Taker, on his USA bike, in black "Big Evil" shirt, black leather pants, and bandana, is out to say HE wants a title shot. Oh, oh, wait again - now BigShow, in black one-strap singlet, is out, too. NOW Angle, in blue "You Suck" tshirt and red "Team Angle" warmup pants, gold medls, with the WWE Title slung over his shoulder, is out to help resolve things. Then Steph, (getting crowded in that ring), in black top and short black (velvet?) skirt, is out to book a Triple Threat match - Show vs. Lesnar vs. Taker. The hair is straigh, the voice gravelly, and the highheels thin 'n strappy.
Cena, in "Phoenix" jersey (#24), with a tire, vs. Eddie, in NEW purple "Latino" tights with gold flames and boots, wearing the US Title. Cena bleeds even before the match officially begins. Cena looses his belt early and we have saggy pants for the remainder of the match. Agh - sudden Adbreak! After the ads, it all picks up. Low-blow to a DQ. A good match with an unsatisfying ending. Beatdown ensues, and Eddie bleeds well. The match lacked a plot, but it looks like that's just what we got because of this match. THIS was proper.
FOOTAGE! of Brock beating Zach. And I mean "beating" in the most base sense (as you all know).
Brock, in same, vs. Big Show, in same, vs. Taker, in same (and black singlet under). Angle, also in same, is out to join commentary. But first, Adbreak gets a push (again). The match is in media res. Another Adbreak run-in. As an FYI, Tazz wears a black suit with black shirt and Cole is in a steel-blue shirt. Lastride to a pin. A good, intense, tight match.
Overall: This show was as good as Raw was sucky. In-ring action was above par (for this show, even) and effectively told stories. The show wasn't only good; it also effectively set-up feuds and angles for the upcoming months.
One thing I've never understood about that "feet under the ropes" finish is why doesn't A-Train just alert the referee to the fact that HIS FEET ARE UNDER THE ROPES? He was lucid enough to tap out and scream.
Brock needs Heyman back and a fresh feud but it looks like he'll be feudin' with Undertaker.
I still say they should totally redo Bret/Owen with Eddy/Chavo. Cena can play the Lawler/Michaels role and they can drag out Hector, Chavo Sr, and Mando for a Survivor Series match against Cena and his Knights.
-Eddie/Cena interview- Eddie seems to be somewhat over tonight LoL. Eddie talks about his great-great grandmother who came to America. Eddie's a 5th Generation American LoL. Cena music hits, okay this should be fun! Cena is really one of those guys whose music hits my ears and attention perk up. He disses Eddie and his homes Uh Oh you never diss someones house like that! It's on for later tonight.
-Mysterio vs. Nunzio- Ref is not having any shananagans and sends the other members of FBI away from the ring. Highlight of the match was Nunzio counter of the 619 into a hard powerbomb. But Rey battles back and wins this 5 minute contest.
-Benoit vs. A-Train- Not a Sable fan, but she actually looks pretty nice this week. Wait's for claim that Benoit's so amazing he can make Sable look good visually by her being in his segment LoL... Too bad he couldn't make Albert look good, pretty lackluster match. Both have had better matches together.
-Lesner/Taker/BigShow interview-Lesner talking as a babyface I could somewhat buy he's like this juiced up good ol' boy. But he comes off very poor as a heel. He said tapping out was his most embarrassing moment (well this promo has to be up there). Angle comes up and calls Brock a baby, said he was like that once but that is a LONG time ago! I agree a year in wrestling is like dog years it's like 7 in real life LoL. Angle says he's going out to confront Brock but I guess Undertaker ran over Angle's foot cause out comes undertaker and says now that Brock lost that means he has to go back of the line (BTW I DO love the concept, lose the title get out of the picture for a while, it would make title switches mean so much more if you don't have a PPV rematch a month later, but that's another rant for another thread I guess LoL)...
BigShow comes out and does impressions of Taker and Lesner! They’re teasing this gimmick again. Angle comes out and wants to make Lenser tap again, or go against Taker and make it his honor to make Taker tap in his own yard (Now THAT'S a good line!) and makes fun of BigShow while he's at it. Finally Stephanie comes out, her outfit makes her body look really strange (more then usually) Her body is an odd heart shape tonight?? Her voice starts going all wild but I think she made a 3 way match for the #1 contendership TO-niiight.
-Eddie vs. Cena- I think Cena broke the record for quickest cut in a wrestling match. I actually Laughed out Loud on Eddie's bringing in the tire, the ref getting it out of the ring and Eddie whacking Cena with a chair for a BIG pop LoL. Add on that Tazz saying the ref didn't hear it because of the crowd and "The crowd is helping Eddie cheat" LoL... 15 minute match which I think might be a bit on the long side for Cena. Cena kicked out of the frog splash after just a second delay ref bump sell. Eddie reversed the FU to a carana (kinda). Lazy ending with low blow DQ. But nice beat down by Cena. Cole: "Why does he feel the need to do that.. What he's a thug?" LoL. I guess WWE does book for hometowns but most likely this is a start of Eddie's babyface turn (did he really ever turn heel LoL). Shouldn't Eddie kill the town by saying how much he doesn't care for his Latino roots. opps sorry that's only for Canadians.
-Undertaker v. BigShow v. Lesner- For the 37th straight week, Smackdowns main event is a NO DQ match. 16 minutes seem a bit much for these guys, there was some clever and interesting moments. But a lot of it seemed really slow and drawn out... A highlight was Brock's overhead suplex on Show that always impresses. Undertaker clotheslined someone over the top and got his hand caught on the ropes looked dangerous. The ending was okay with show sitting on the top turnbuckle with Brock wanting to superplex him(how isn't the ring tipping) and Undertaker getting the lastride on Brock while at that position.
-OtherStuff- Some stole Eddie's tires. The Latino Stereotype starts questioning a lot of other stereotypes including the Italian Stereotype... Cena says he didn't do any stealing, what kind of thug do you think he is?.
-Line of the Night: Tazz "These people are helping Eddie cheat" -Sign of the Night: I steal Cable -3Stars of the Night: 1)Eddie. 2)Nunzio. 3)Mysterio - Tough one this week, no one really stood out except Eddie.
The last hour had Two 15+ minute matches, which is odd. Add that a very long mid-show interview segment. Not many segments or matches this week at all... Don't really know what to make out of this show, nothing really stood out except for Eddie's homecoming... Brock on the mic is not a good thing especially portraying a scary heel.
In my opinion, the best thing that happened last night happened during the opening promo. When Eddie started getting real worked up and came at Cena, Cena ducked through the ropes to get away, and at the same time grabbed the chain off of his neck and wrapped it around his fist. How many guys on the roster would think to do that? Most would just do the chickenshit heel bit and jump out of the ring, but Cena did it while remembering that he had a weapon on him. Little things like that tell me Cena is going to be a world champion sooner rather than later.
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Relax, it's just a title. Why do YOU care about breaking AJ's record? Let me run down the reasons to have the match and to have Nikki win. For 200-ish days of her title run, nobody cares about Nikki Bella and her title run.