3 days 'til Summerslam! It's time for The Great Thomas SmackDown! Report!
Kurt Angle: He's out to call out Brock Lesnar and Mr. McMahon after 2 weeks ago. Here comes Vince! He says there's no fight between Angle and Lesnar. If Kurt attacks either Lesnar or McMahon prior to Summerslam, he's fired. However, he books a tue-up match between Kurt and the Big Show later tonight! However, Angle wants a fight now, so he runs out of the ring to attack Big Show! One low blow and belt shot later, and Angle's all over Big Show. The officials pull the two apart. Let's go to commercial break!
Stacker 2 YJ Stinger: If you want to be like The World's Greatest Wrestler, Triple H, drink this!
Big Show et McMahon: Big Show is visibly pissed. McMahon makes the match a Falls Count Anywhere Street Fight. Big Show damn near destroys McMahon's office.
Mysterio vs. Hardy V.1:"Matt has never lost his cell phone." Hear that, Jeff? Kidman is sent to the back after the ref catches him with a chair. Let's go to commercial break!
The Mullets: Premieres on Sept. 11. So, it's either hear tons of 9-11, coverage on other channels... or this. I DO have a Gamecube, you know.
Mysterio vs. Hardy V.1 (cont): Matt sells a Spinning DDT like a champ. Zach Gowen attacks Matt from behind with a cane allowing Mysterio to hit the 6-1-9 and the West Coast Pop for the win.
Mr. McMahon: Brock walks in, and Mr. McMahon books a match between Brock and Zach Gowen. Brock says he'll snap Gowen's only leg.
Last Week: We get a montage of last week, from when A-Train squashed Stephie. As a result, Stephie's in the hospital with internal injuries.
Michael Cole: He's interviewing Zach's mother. She can't believe Brock Lesnar would want to break her son's leg.
Gunn/Noble vs. Basham Bros.: Ha! Even Cole and Tazz can't tell the difference between Doug and Danny! They look so alike, in fact, the illegal Basham wins via rollup. OMG CLEVAR!
Zach Gowen: He encounters Brock in the hallway. Brock tells Gowen to "Shut Your Mouth!" (ha ha)
Last Week: We get a montage of last week, when Brock squashed Spanky.
Lesnar vs. Gowen:SQUAAAASH MAAAATCH! WICKED CHAIRSHOT gets Lesnar DQed. F-5 against the ring post, chairshots to the leg, another F-5 to the ring post, and Zach gets strechered out of here. The bleeding is so bad, it has to be black and white, AND blurred out. Afterwards, Brock wipes Zach's blood on his chest.
Tazz et Cole: Tazz takes the shades off! Cole is visibly pissed, and hopes Angle kicks Brock's ass at Summerslam. However, the Summerslam montage calms Cole down considerably.
John Cena: THUGONOMICS! He rips on Zach and Detroit. What did he say at the end? I dunno. What rhymes with "tomorrow"? Let's go to commercial break!
Cena/A-Train vs. Jordan/Undertaker: OMG! I just saw some guys move the steel steps! Cena pins Taker after a chain shot by A-Train.
Sable: She gives A-Train the key to her penthouse to thank him for helping her beat Stephie. Good for him.
Guerrero the Elder/Rhyno vs. Tajiri/Benoit: Rhyno rides shotgun with Eddie in his NEW lowrider. TARANTULA! DIVING HEADBUTT! Rhyno wins via the AL GORE! Afterwards, Eddie whacks all 3 men with the US Title.
The Main Event: Angle ambushes Big Show at the entrance. Table shots galore! ANGLE SLAM to the Big Show! TESTICULAR CLAW! Legdrop on the announce table! ANGLE SLAM through the table! 1.. 2.. 3! Angle wins! Afterwards, Brock comes out and stares down Kurt. ...And, we're out.
That's all for this week. Until then, Good Night, take care of yourselves, and strap yourselves in for Summerslam this Sunday!
VOTE4WOZ.COM A VOTE FOR WOZ IS A VOTE FOR A BETTER CALIFORNIA MICHAEL J. WOZNIAK FOR GOVERNOR
FOOTAGE! of Lesnar's turn in the steel cage (two weeks ago).
It's my life, my time, my rights, my rhyme. It's time for Sssssmackdown!, from Detroit, MI, and a Fashion Report, too!
Angle, in (open) red "Team Angle" warmup, with gold medals and wearing the WWE Title. He talks about how he'll get back at Lesnar. A call-out ensues, to which Vince, in white shirt (top two buttons undone) responds. Vince talks on the stage - the same ol' "I'm evil and powerful. I'm powerfully evil. I'm evilly powerful." spiel. And Vince books a match - BigShow (who comes out, in black one-strap singlet) vs. Angle. But Angle just wants a fight - now. So they get it on, on the...um...aisle. Pull-apart. 10 minutes.
In Vince's Room of Fun, Show (with a sore crotch) destroys the furniture. Vince makes the match a falls-count-anywhere street-fight match. Show smash!
Rey, in black "Rey619" plate tshirt, metallic grey/pink mask and "Rey 619" pants, wearing the Cruiserweight Title, with Kidman, vs. Mattitude, in sleeveless blue "MHV1" (all blurred together) tshirt and purple pants with black pockets, with Shannon. Hebner the Younger has TWO senses, and he uses his "hearing" to send Kidman to the back. Adbreak uses this opportunity to run interference. Later, Shannon gets a run-in, too. And Zach shows up to bust his cane (which Hebner doesn't hear) across Mattitude's back. WestCoastPop to pin. A good match, but too much punching (these guys punch?).
Again in the Room of Fun, (the real) Brock Lesnar and Vince discuss. Vince books a match - (the real) Brock Lesnar vs. Zach, who is from Detroit. They're EVIL, baby.
Tazz, in tan suit with blue shirt and orange tie and hanky, and Cole, in tan shirt (top two buttons undone) commentate. And show FOOTAGE! from Steph/Albert from last week. Vince is EVIL, baby!
Cole talks to Mrs. Gowen, in sleeveless white shirt with scarf.
Billy, in blue "Mr. Ass" fullcuts with pink lips, with Torrie, in tiger-striped tank top and tight black leather shorts, and Noble, in blue jean shorts, with Nidia, in genuine imitation mock mink coat, black top and Daisy Dukes, vs. Bashams, both on black leather (Cole calls it latex-leater - wtf?) pants, with Shaniqua, in black bikini top, leather shorts, and LONG boots, with cat-o-nine-tails. Remember, Doug has slightly longer stubble. Really, if only the faces could use their sexcraft, this would be over in no time. Roll-up (fruit?) to pin. A nice match.
In the back, Zach and (the real) Brock Lesnar meet.
FOOTAGE! of Brock mauling Spanky. (the real) Brock Lesnar, in black undies with white butt-skull (no more happy-dance, I notice) vs. Zach, in black shorts with red butt. Boot to the head! Many preliminaries to this match. Lesnar gets the chair and pastes Zach, then does two F-5s into the ringpost. Zach is so messed-up that the camera shots of Zach are faded into greyscale (or fuzzed-out). What I saw of the outside mat and the dark-color on Zach's face, it was nasty.
Even the replay is altered. Cole rants about Brock and Tazz finally shakes-off his shellshock to agree. Then a SummerSlam video (still showing Hardy/Gown).
Cena, in white "Word Life John Cena" wringer, vizor, jean shorts, and lock 'n chain, rapping (the steps have moved!) vs. Adbreak and Albert, in black undies with crests, vs. Orlando, in black cut-up "Jordan" tshirt and yellow tiger undies, and Taker, on his bike, in black "Big Evil Pain Syndicate" diablo tshirt and black leather pants, with black singlet thereunder and a black bandana. Chain-loaded punch to pin. Nice match. Didn't need the introduction of the chair, though.
In the back, Sable, in low-cut black dress with a slit up the leg, holding up the wall, prepares to "personally thank" Albert.
Eddie, driving a red/yellow lowrider, in grey "Latino" tights with black/yellow blades, with Rhyno, in black "Rhyno" singlet, vs. Tajiri, in black pants with white/red/yellow dragons, and Benoit, red "Wolverine" tights with black splats. Miscommunication to a pin. Post-match, hype the "every man for himself" nature of the Fatal-Four-Way. Nice match.
Angle, in white singlet (back left blue/stars, back right red), blue/stars kneepad on the right knee and blue kneebrace on the left, wearing the WWE Title, vs. BigShow, still in black one-strap singlet. Toys used: chair, table, steel steps, announce table. AngleSlam through a table to the pin. A good match.
Overall: A good show. If they nix the Hardy/Gowen match, then the SummerSlam card looks pretty thin. But you've got to think that the Elimination Chamber can take up LOTS of time (with six men and all), and they can always add another match later.
If I could've done anything differently, it would've been to have Mrs. Gowen jump the barrier earlier and use her own body to shield Zach. But that's just me and my melodrama.
Edit: Typos are like Adbreak, they're my near-mortal enemy.
Matt Hardy has become quite the good well rounded worker and if they want Kidman to be over, they should nix any heel turn and find another heel challenger for Rey Rey.
The one good thing about Jamie Noble as a face is that it allows him to bust out more flashy offense like his Flying Elbowdrop. And despite the horrible gimmick, the Basham's just may get over thanks to Doug being one of the most underrated/unheralded workers in the US.
Brock Lesnar is so much more fun as a heel. It looks like it's time to re-evaluate Zach Gowen and come up with a new plan while he sells this injury.
I'm so glad The Undertaker let John Cena pin him again, getting Cena ready for his SummerSlam match with ... oh they're just being used to hype up A-Train, sorry.
A-Train has bigger breasts then Sable. New chant - Shave your tits!
The Street Fight was pretty damn good but I sure hope they don't do a WWE Main Event 1998 Style Brawl between Angle & Lesnar. Leave the carnage to the Elimination Chamber and let Kurt Angle and Brock Lesnar wrestle for 30 minutes.
Overall, it was a hell of a lot better show then last week (wonder who was missing???). I'm psyched to see Angle/Lesnar with Angle as the face and healthy.
SummerSlam looks to be a two-match show with Angle/Lesnar and the Fatal Fourway. Elimination Chamber might have a few bright spots with Jericho & HBK but anything with The PuNASHer isn't all that exciting to me.
Personally I'd fill the Hardy/Gowen spot with a Three Way for the Tag Titles with Haas & Benjamin vs Rey & Kidman vs Matt & Shannon. But alas they'll probably use it for some kind of 20 minute segment with Stephanie consoling her traumatized mother, who acts remarkably like her happy and angry mother.
Yeah, I thought there were just camera issues when they screwed with the color and focus. Then I saw the WWE logo wasn't quite right either. Either way, Brock kills Zach dead for our amusement. And we LOVE it. (Or at least I did... Zach might have just gotten hisself a career as SD's Spike Dudley.) And the whole Brock-wiping-the-blood-for-warpaint? Works for me. Just as long as he doesn't go to the Jerry Lynn logical extension of that.
Angle/Lesnar: The Two Towers... hmm... I wouldn't mind it being a little street-fighty, because 30 minutes of straight-up wrestling might not be the best approach. Maybe at the first match, but not now.
Was Sable trying to MILK A-Train? I mean, come ON. Find something ELSE on him to knead. (And no, that isn't permission to grope. We're trying to NOT make the audience sick here.)
Yeah, that West Coast Pop looked more like some wacky piledriver. It did help to punctuate the finish, though.
And once again, Snow jobs to HHH. Or wait... was that the first time they've faced? Geez, it's just an AD FOR STACKER 2.
I just love an intense Kurt Angle. He does a great job making you believe he TRULY wants to fight.
That chairshot to Zach's head was the sickest one I've ever seen, and that includes Rock and Mankind and Royal Rumble 99. Having Brock taunt Zach's mom was a great touch. Not a great touch was having Michael Cole repeat himself over and over. Repeating things does not increase drama. I was actually wishing it was JR calling the "carnage" as it truly was carnage this time.
Did anyone outside of Miami have that thing where they switched the footage of Gowan to a blurred-out black-and-white picture? I just moved down here, and I'm trying to figure out if that was done by the WWE or by the local UPN affiliate.
Originally posted by Tenken347Did anyone outside of Miami have that thing where they switched the footage of Gowan to a blurred-out black-and-white picture? I just moved down here, and I'm trying to figure out if that was done by the WWE or by the local UPN affiliate.
That was UPN, but across the country - they kinda have a thing about showing blood, and they've gone black and white before...but usually only with "one week ago" replays since the WWE folk don't like shattering the illusion that you could be watching the show "live."
DISCLAIMER: I have no inside knowledge to back this up but a pretty good basis for making an educated guess
-Angle/Vince interview- Kurt is pissed off he wants a fight, Tonight! Vince comes out(no doubt), saying if he wants a fight he's got The BigShow. Vince sure loves the big men. Angle and Bigshow have a brief scuffle until the pull apart
-Hardy vs. Mysterio- A great 12 minute opening match. Ref went very MLB umpire and threw out Billy Kidman for the playing field. Nice sholderbreake reversal to a DDT by Rey. Pretty stiff landing on Hardy's noggin during the 619.
-Basham Brothers vs. Noble/Gunn- I can't believe I'm saying this, BUT. I'm actually interested in Gunn & Torrie. I think Noble/Nidia is overriding the annoyance of Gunn/Torrie. Bashams have control over Gunn early who give Noble! a hot tag. Noble comes in and looked good with a neckbreaker and a elbow from the upstairs. Shaniqua pulls Noble hard to the outside. Torrie & Nidia attack Shaniqua but she's not having none of that and double clothesline them. All heck is breaking loose, double switch from the Bashams to trick Noble who gets smallpackage for the pinfall... They are doing a very good job with all involved here. Ha Tazz figured out "Jamie's got a gunn"
-Gowen vs. Lesner- Cole talked to Gowen's mom. Uh oh that's a bad omen. Man did this pass the "uncomfortable" scale. I've always been a big Zach supporter here but seeing him use just for the sake of getting a big giant monster over with a severe beatdown was very unsettling... But Lesner is 0-2 since his heel turn, that's gotta push him down the ladder in the title picture, he kidding using my Gorilla Monsoon legit sports analogy.
-Cena/A-Train vs. Undertaker/Jordan- Cena's rap is REALLY racy. Did like the JLA is the world biggest crackhouse. I actually thought I saw an arena security guy turn towards Cena and having thoughts of jumping him! How messed up would that be arena security jumping a performer LoL... The entertainment ended there, pretty nothing match. Taker mauling Cena throughout the match. Albert outsmarting Jordan. More Taker over Cena until Albert hits Taker with a chain which her or us ever saw coming.
-Rhyno/Eddie vs. Benoit/Tajiir- Pretty paint by numbers but I'm suspecting they are saving the good stuff for the PPV. Superplex by Benoit from the top, nice Gore by Rhyno to get the hometown win. Eddie knocks everyone out with the title because he's the king of sneaky.
-Angle vs. BigShow- Kurt wasn't certainly saving anything for the PPV. Nice spot of BigShow running at Kurt who's holding the table and threw it in BigShow's face, on the other side BigShow punching the chair with Angle running & holding it with a sudden stop was cool. Love the spot where BigShow sets up the powerbomb but while upside down Angle grabs the chair and whacks BigShow with it. Great brawl outside with Angle dropping the big legdrop with a chair under his leg crashing show threw the announce table. Still only a 2. End of the match was AngleSlam threw a table. Awesome main event. One of Angle's "I's" were in full force. Total intensity.
-OtherStuff- Big Show had a great out of control meltdown in Vince's room... Sable/Albert backstage was just grotesque... Cole's crying about Zach and going "off character" is bordering on Schivane... Long package on last weeks main-event of Steph/Albert, with signs of "We miss you Steph" and "Welcome back". Wasn't she gone for 2 weeks?
-Line of the Night: Angle "Pumped up, whacked out Billionaire" on describing McMahon -3Stars of the Night: 1)Angle. 2)BigShow. 3)Hardy.
A very strong main event. An very entertaining opening match with Hardy/Mysterio. And yes I can't believe I'm saying this but Noble-Gunn/Bashams got my interest... Overall a real good show. Even though the Zach beatdown was real uncomfortable and not fun at all for me to watch. The audio seemed all off tonight, either the crowd was quiet, which is very unusual for Detroit or that micing/audio was low.
I'd bet it was WWE's doing as opposed to UPN. They used the B&W shot and a low resolution shot. It seems more likely WWE would do it upfront rather than UPN altering the tape they got (or however they work it.)
If I remember correctly, Jeff Hardy broke Matt Hardy's eye socket with a particularly crappy Swanton Bomb on Raw a few years back when whoever was calling the shots (Triple H?) made Jeff and Edge team up to fight Matt and Christian.