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The W - Pro Wrestling - The Great Thomas SmackDown! Report 8/14/03
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The Great Thomas

Since: 17.6.02
From: Miami, Florida

Since last post: 4715 days
Last activity: 4715 days
#1 Posted on
Ughhh... damn sattelite dishes and their signals! I spent the first half-hour of the show writing this report from a portable black-and-white TV. Oh well... it's time for The Great Thomas SmackDown! Report!

Mr. McMahon: He's out to introduce the REAL Brock Lesnar. He shows footage from the match last week. McMahon's a real good storyteller! He says that Angle is at home recuperating, and will be here next week. Out comes Brock, who says friendship is merely a way to take advantage of people to succeed in life. McMahon says that Kurt will face Brock at Summerslam! OMG Stephie's back! She says that Mr. McMahon is a piece of garbage for sending A-Train to attack her. She tries to slap McMahon, but Brock nearly twists her arm off, then Mr. McMahon books Stephie in a match... against A-Train!

Stacker 2 YJ Stinger: Feel the STING! It's the same drink that the World's Greatest Wrestler Triple H drinks!

Mysterio/Kidman vs. World's Greatest Tag Team: A new haircut, is not gonna make you any less boring, Kidman! HUGE hurricanrana from Mysterio, and Benjamin sells it like a true champ! Let's go to commercial break!

Mysterio/Kidman vs. World's Greatest Tag Team (cont): Mysterio does a real good job playing the face in peril. Pin breaks galore! Tag to Kidman, and he's a HOUSE AFIRE! SHOOTING STAR PRESS! 6-1-9! 1.. 2.. NO! Haas wins via belt shot.

Danny Basham vs. Gunn: Danny wins via Basham double-team. Afterwards, the Bashams and Shaniqua do a beatdown on Gunn and Torrie. Noble and Nidia try to make the save, but the Bashams get the upper hand. Shaniqua lands a HUGE POWERBOMB to Nidia! We gots a feud on our hands!

Faarooq et Bradshaw: Bradshaw tries to prove that Shaniqua is Shelton Benjamin in drag. Faarooq teases re-opening the A.P.A., but Bradshaw talks him out of it.

Undertaker vs. Big Show: Big Show works on Taker's injured ribs. Brawl to the outside! A-Train cracks a 2x4 on Taker's ribs. Taker's out! Big Show S-L-O-W-L-Y rolls back into the ring... and wins via count-out.

Rhyno vs. Tajiri: Eddie comes out in a NEW spiff lowrider, and does guest commentary. Now Benoit comes out to do guest commentary alongside Eddie! Tajiri wins via "kick-to-da-head". Afterwards, Benoit insists on riding with Eddie. Eddie obliges, but he leaves in a huff when Benoit wants to make the car bounce.

Gowen vs. Cena: THUGONOMICS! He verbally rips on Zach, then the bell rings. LETS GIT IT OWN! Zach counters a Super F-U into a flying armbar. Cena wins via regular F-U.

Stephie: She gets ready for her match, but A-Train appears, and rubs her hand against his slimy, hairy chest. I'm serious.

During The Break: Matt Hardy and Boy Band Man attack Zach. The feud continues!

Spanky: During a chocolate syrup chugging contest, he stains Mr. McMahon's jacket. Vince is visibly pissed. He books Spanky in a match against Brock Lesnar!

1-800-CALL-ATT WHO YOU GONNA CALL? I don't know! As if Carrot Top had any friends to call!

Lesnar vs. Spanky: SQUAAASH MAAATCH! Brock beats the shit outta Spanky with a chair, then tosses him against the ringpost and leaves him bloody and broken on the floor! "HOLY SHIT" chant fires up. Mr. McMahon comes out to celebrate with Brock.

Stephie vs. A-Train: Mr. McMahon presents Sable as the guest ring announcer. The bell rings... brutality galore! Wait! Here comes Undertaker! He attacks A-Train! But here comes Big Show, who attacks Taker! A-Train back in the ring... BIG SPLASH! 1.. 2.. 3! It's over! Mr. McMahon, Sable and A-Train celebrate over Stephie's broken body. And... we're out.

That's all for this week. Until then, Good Night, take care of yourselves, and I'll have you all know my birthday's next week!


Promote this thread!

Since: 1.2.02
From: Appleton, WI

Since last post: 2088 days
Last activity: 2088 days
#2 Posted on
Oh no, The Great Thomas has gone space-pirate (and trans-gender) on us! Ha ha, renew the avatar-picking-on!

It's my life, my time, my rights, my rhyme. It's Ssssmackdown!, from Saint Louis, and a Fashion Report, too.

Vince, in tan sportscoat, white shirt (top two buttons undone), and black slacks, is out to talk. He's brought FOOTAGE! from last week with him, so he can do a play-by-play. (The real) Brock Lesnar, in black muscleshirt with white horned skull and black warmups with three vertical white stripes on each leg, is out to prove he's not really that bad on the mic. Then Steph, in black tanktop and button-sided denim short skirt, with strappy highheels (heels?), with straight hair, verbally berate's Vince's domestic capabilities. Vince, meanwhile, books a match - Steph vs. Albert. Too much makeup on Steph (and that FOOTAGE! really dragged).

Ray, in babyblue/white mask and "REY" pants, and Kidman, in Goldberg-esque black/white fullcuts, but with "blown ice"-type hip designs, vs. Benjamin/Haas, both in maroon singlets with silver tirm, both wearing the Tag Team Titles, but Benjamin also wears silver/maroon shin guards. Curses, Adbreak!We're back and Rey is STILL gettin beat-on (you could say he's Ricky MOrton, but he's actually Rey Mysterio). Man, those faces have been interfereing LOTS in this match to break-up the pinfall. Wow - that was a great match, even though (unfortunately) it quickly passes out from my head. Maybe it's the humidity.

Bashams, almost already in the ring, in black leather pants, please Shaniqua, in black leather bikini top and tight skimpy leather shorts (with little chain belt), Danny vs. Billy Gunn, in blue "Mr. Ass" fullcuts with pink lips, with Torrie, in green sportsbra, skimpy shorts, and legwraps. Ball 'n gag to a pin. Poor match due to shortness. I note that Torrie's outfit is ripped (rough honeymoon, I posit). Post-match, a heel beatdown. But Noble, in jean shorts and Nidia, in red top and Daisy Dukes, are get bead-down, too. Man, Shaniqua's boots have HUGE heels (heels!), and I'm surprised she can hit moves in them. Midcard violence!

In the back, the APA theorize.

Meanwhile, BigShow exits Mr. McMahon's door. Really, that door does get around.

Taker, on his bike, in black "Big Evil...Pain Syndicate" tshirt and black leather pants, with black singlet thereunder, vs. Big Show, in black one-strap singlet. Hebner looks tiny! Hebner is dwarfed by the competitors. Wait - Taker wrestles? Well, for a little bit anyways. Ref-bump allows Albert, with 2x4 to interfere. Count-out. An average match.

Eddie, driving a low-riding pickup, in white shirt and black slacks, with the US Title, joins Cole, in blue/green shirt and tan slacks, and Tazz, in black suit and white shirt with orange tie and hanky, on commentary. Then Benoit, in black "Toothless Aggression" tshirt and bluejeans, ALSO joins commentary. Rhyno, in black "Rhyno" singlet, vs. Tajiri, in black pants with red/white/yellow dragons. The commentary is GREAT and hillarious as Benoit keeps pressing Eddie's buttons. Meanwhile, the action in the ring isn't too shabby, making for an average (if too-short) match. Post-match, Benoit really steams Eddie.

Zach, in red shorts with white vertical stripes, and a new haircut, vs. Cena, in white "Word Life John Cena" wringer tshirt, jean shorts, lock 'n chain, and backwards cap. Cena wrestles without the tshirt (which looks pretty tight). Everyone seems to like flinging Zach around the ring. FU leads to a pin. Average match.

In the back, Steph, in black latex top with boob-chains, gets a (static) charge from Albert (or his hair, at least).

During the break, Mattitude nails Zach. Cole's all-time favorite word: "bully" - remember it.

In the back, Funaki and Orlando watch Spanky chug some chocolate syrup (oh, the simple pleasures of life). But they don't stick around when Spanky gets syrup on Vince's sportscoat. Vince and Spanky talk finances (why no Bradshaw?) but Vince decides to just book a match - (the real) Brock Lesnar vs. Spanky. Wait - Spanky's been working there "for a year"?

(the real) Brock Lesnar, happy dancing, in black undies with white buttskull, vs. Spanky, in sparkly purple shorts and pink/black shinguards and kneepads. Steel chair DQ, followed by NASTY bleeding on Spanky's behalf. Welcome back to SD!, and seeya later.

Vince intros Sable, in black bikini-top and hip-hugging pants, the special ring announcer, who, in turn, announces Steph, still in black latex top with boob-chains and black latex shorts, who promptly beats on Sable, vs. Albert, in black undies with matching crotch and butt crests. Evil Overlord Vince gives the thumbs-down (kinda a nice visual there). Taker comes out, but BigShow also is out to negate that. Is a mood-setting piece REALLY the best way to spend the main event spot? I say no. Although seeing Steph, fetal, in Spanky's blood, with Vince and Sable gloating over her fallen body, IS a stark visual to exit on.

Overall: With a 20-something minute (great) tag match and all-around solid action, this was a good show. But I really don't agree with spending the Main Event on a mood piece, despite the visuals it gave us.

Fashion Reporter Extraordinare

Eric tries kicking a sheild held by Time Keeper Dan, but Time Keeper Dan is +3 with Sheilds and the Sheild carries a 2 Armor Rating with +4 v. Crappy Kicks, so it doesnt go well. Anybody who has played the WWE Backstage RPG would know better. Just ask Scott Stiener.
-Excalibur05's Raw Satire for 8-4-03

Boudin blanc

Since: 26.8.02

Since last post: 6 days
Last activity: 3 hours
#3 Posted on
Charlie Haus and Shelton Benjamin may very well be one of the greatest tag teams of all time. It's too bad any possible challengers for that title are all twice their age now.

Is it just me or does Kidman look a lot like Disco Inferno now?

Since: 5.10.02
From: Battle Creek, Michigan

Since last post: 4617 days
Last activity: 4266 days
#4 Posted on
I thought the heel turn would be the end of smilin' Brock Lesnar? Lesnar is an ok promo, but he really needs a mouthpiece to create the badass aura for him. Heyman did it, but I'm undecided if Vince can actually make the focus enough about Brock instead of himself to get Brock over.

WGTT vs. Rey and Billy was a really fun tag formula match. Haas and Benjamin deserve a lot of credit for already being masters of the formula and Rey was awesome in this match. The world needs to see an AMW/WGTT match soon.

Linda Miles has officially replaced Stacy Keibler as the female Kevin Nash. There was something so very right yet very wrong about Noble making the save. How many feuds are the Bashams in, anyways?

I kinda dug Big Show/Taker up until the brawling out of the ring portion. Taker is enjoyable in a watching a really good match in slow motion way.

Now that he's a jobber, Zack Gowen is sorta fun to watch. His offense is completely unbelievable and ultra indytastic but it's somewhat fun to watch a guy hobble around and try really hard before getting his ass kicked. I am mightily fearful that my beloved Matt Hardy might end up jobbing to him, though.

EVIL BROCK'S MOVESET IS BACK~!! I do wish Brock and Spanky could have had a real match. Hopefully they'll do a tag of some sorts next week.

There's definitely something wrong with the last image seen on Smackdown being Vince McMahon standing over Stephanie's battered body.

Peter The Hegemon
Lap cheong

Since: 11.2.03
From: Hackettstown, NJ

Since last post: 10 days
Last activity: 2 days
#5 Posted on
Any word on when/if the show will be run in New York? It was preempted, understandably, for blackout coverage.

Since: 5.3.03

Since last post: 1885 days
Last activity: 1884 days
#6 Posted on
What was the general consensus for those who watched the show? I also was shut out by the blackout...

The official Online Onslaught Inside The Ropes archive!!!
Big Brother

Since: 9.12.01
From: ミネアポリス

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 2 days
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.65
    Originally posted by CANADIAN BULLDOG
    What was the general consensus for those who watched the show? I also was shut out by the blackout...
Well, the first fifteen minutes were pretty boring, the second fifteen minutes were pretty good, the third fifteen minutes were kinda in the middle, the fourth fifteen minutes built to the NEXT fifteen minutes which I rather liked, the sixth fifteen minutes had their moments, the seventh fifteen minutes were awesome, and the last fifteen minutes I could have done without.

By the way, did Steph get anything done during her absence? It looked like they were trying to turn her into Lilian Garcia II during the first bit, and I couldn't decide if it was different makeup or something's been nip/tuck'd.

(edited by CRZ on 15.8.03 0246)

Toast Jr

Since: 30.1.03
From: Stafford Springs, CT

Since last post: 14 days
Last activity: 1 day
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.00
Sure, he lost via DQ and ended up getting the nastiest beating I've seen in a long time, but the fact that he *technically* won has made me the happiest little girl inthe whole world.

Since: 12.10.02
From: Canada

Since last post: 4601 days
Last activity: 4601 days
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.15
The Tag Title Match was great. The Tajiri/Rhyno match was good for how short it was. Cena was good as usual. Brock could've squashed Spanky a little longer. The rest of the show I could've done without.

Since: 28.6.03
From: Massachusetts

Since last post: 5398 days
Last activity: 5188 days
#10 Posted on

    Originally posted by InVerse
    Is it just me or does Kidman look a lot like Disco Inferno now?

Ever since the hair cut I thought he looked a lot like a minature Jose Canseco.

Another dull show. Too much UT, Train, and McMahons. I'm really starting to get annoyed with the babyface run-ins. I mean, if you're gonna do a run-in, RUN-IN. This crap of "I'm too old and injured to jog to the ring" with UT and Nash really bugs me. If Train hadn't willingly dropped Stephanie and attacked Taker, he would've never made it in time to save her. Maybe I'm asking too much.

You Never Majored in Huganomics

Since: 3.1.02

Since last post: 5370 days
Last activity: 5369 days
#11 Posted on
My opinion of the show: a couple of good matches early on, followed by a large number of heavy/cruiser mismatches (Steph's a cruiserwight, right?) which I find pointless. Too much Vince.

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Boudin rouge

Since: 1.5.03
From: California, Home of THE LAKERS!

Since last post: 558 days
Last activity: 123 days
#12 Posted on

I vote for Tazz on Play by Play with Eddy and Benoit as dueling color men on SD every week. Ship cole to velocity to replace Cat.
the wrestling was great. The soap opera continues to suck donkey dicks. I'm for shipping every one over 250 lbs on the SD roster and all the McMahons to Raw in trade for the women's division, Hurricane, RVD and Lance Storm. SD would rule the world and Raw would still possibly have a glimmer of hope with the likes of Brock, Y2J, Xtian, and Goldust midcarding with Cena, O'Haire, and Rico (who I actually like.)

Cherries > Peaches

Since: 1.8.02
From: Phoenix-ish

Since last post: 4 days
Last activity: 3 days
#13 Posted on

    Originally posted by ScreamingHeadGuy
    Man, Shaniqua's boots have HUGE heels (heels!), and I'm surprised she can hit moves in them.
Shaniqua's boots are an excellent example of how you can wear really high heels, but still be quite functional. Note the wide heel, especially at the base, which allows her to distribute a reasonable portion of her weight to the heel. The slight amount of platform in the front provides a totally solid base for her to distribute the rest of her weight. Because they're boots (& particularly in combination with the heel width), she has a good amount of lateral stability -- she's not likely to roll her ankle either to the inside or outside. Also because they're boots, she can be confident that when she puts her foot down, the shoe won't have slid around to the side any. Because she has that very stable base, she "simply" has to get used to distributing her weight evenly across the 4-5" height difference between heel & toe areas. (Once one gets used to it, that's the least difficult part of all.)

Contrast this with the classic Steph strappy high-heels. Narrow heel contact with the ground means that she has to be conscious of lateral balance at all times. Thin sole area provides flexability, which requires constant correction for weight distribution, as she balances most of her weight on the balls of her feet. (Very hard on the sesemoid bones -- trust me.) The strappy sandals will generally have a lightweight shank (from the heel area into the body of the shoe), making it very easy to torque the ankle if she's not perfectly balanced in the front. Finally, the strappiness only barely keeps the shoe attached to the foot -- she can never be totally sure that the shoe will be fully under her foot when she puts it down, thus forcing a certain tentativeness to her stride.

But the strappy little heels are so cute, & the boys do get so giddy over them. (The things we do, so's y'all can get giddy.) :-)

Since: 1.2.02
From: Brooklyn NY

Since last post: 5339 days
Last activity: 5225 days
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.74
Hey, isn't Shaniqua really Linda Myles from Tough Enough? Looks just like her.

oh, and Bradshaw's hair is just too gay. The guy went from cowboy to Midnight Cowboy. ugh
Net Hack Slasher

Since: 6.1.02
From: Outer reaches of your mind

Since last post: 4929 days
Last activity: 3349 days
#15 Posted on
-Vince/Brock/Steph interview- Vince going through EVERY detail of last weeks footage was annoying. Evil Brock comes out and says the fans would sell out their friends as well (well duh). Steph comes out to represent ALL women battling the system (yup all women get their power position by having their family last name).

-Worlds Greatest TagTeam vs. Kidman/Mysterio- What an amazing 15 minute match! Very interesting psychology of having the faces running in and breaking the pin while the heels kick out on the most part manually. Rey's jump from the top only to be caught with a dropkick ouch... Exciting action all around, the camera seemed to be out of position for the final shot as Benjamin gives a side kick from the outside to Kidman, don't know if he kinda missed and the camera angle protected him.

-Dan Basham v. Gunn-Match was secondary. I must say this is the FIRST time Team Basham actually got my interest. The 3 of them did a wonderful job outsmarting Torrie/Gunn. Why is the woman who's unbeatable scared of anyone? Well Torrie gets BODYSLAMMED and knocks her out. Some might find that strange but I don't. Seeing how TorrieBerg never sells a simple bodyslam is like a shock to her system that effects her like being thrown face first over the top rope would effect other women LoL... I digged Noble/Nidia run in. Noble runs in with bad results getting a 2-1 beating. Nidia runs in jumps on Shaniqua's back just to get tossed down & then hit with a powerbomb. I'm digging Shaniqua; she's looking good! Of course bags the question why is Gayda on Raw & Miles on SD. I'm Not going to complain much, I always said SD needs more women I can get behind. Hope Torrie doesn't no sell& beat her easily in the next few weeks.

-Big Show vs. Undertaker- Taking the bit of a quote of Underwater, this match wasn't all bad if you enjoy really deliberate and slow-motion matches LoL... Albert comes in and hits Taker with a 2X4 oooooooh. Thanks be to Gawd Albert has made the Summerslam cut on the SD side (sarcasm meter on high)

-Tajiri vs. Rhyno- What there was a match, I guess Tajiri won in a 2 minute match. Benoit comes out in his Toothless Aggression T-shirt (seriously do they want us to buy their stuff?). Benoit looked kinda creepy with wet slicked back hair. Benoit wants the car to bounce "Come on Eddie make it bounce". Eddie gets angry and leaves.

-Cena vs. Gowen- Oh no did Cena sell out like so many rapper before him and now pimping his T-shirt instead of his retro jersey's. I need my weekly Retro Jersey fashion show from Cena... 3 minute match, it was okay. Gowen hit some quick moves that kept Cena off balance including that Stratusfaction (how dare him!). But Cena used his power to finish him. Matt Hardy comes in and continues to pick on Gowen. That JERK!

-Kendrick vs. Lesner- Lesner with the (not so)Happy Dance comes in and it's beat down city for young Kendrick.

-A-Train vs. Stephanie- Umm okay, this is the main event. First off what is with the horrific photo of Stephanie on the graphics building this match. Steph beats on Sable until A-train comes out and MAN-handles her, cheap (or is it expensive) feel on her when setting up in his body on his shoulder breaker move. Steph was bumping and flopping all over the place. Yuck Vince & Sable kiss. That heels stuff right? To bad I don't care. Yup this is main event stuff

-Other stuff- Not much at all going on backstage, Kendrick backstage was kind of funny. Good to hear that Vince can laugh off the XFL and other disasters. I guess giving yourself a 9% raise makes your awful decisions go down easier.

-Line of the Night: Cole "Thank you Marv Albert"- When Tazz was going on and on about Shaniqua.
-3 Stars of the Night: 1) Shaniqua. 2)Mysterio. 3)Haas.- It's all about Shaniqua tonight! I was totally digging her. Any of the 4 guys involved in the Tag Title match could have taken 2nd and 3rd place.

I thought the show was good tonight. The Tag title match was fantastic, I enjoyed the Bashams/Gunn-Noble thing way more then I think anyone else LoL. Cena & Gowen was good. U.S title match was set up. For a show that's Kurt-less it was really good... But like most, tired of the McMahon stuff

Me fail English? That's unpossible
Lap cheong

Since: 15.1.02
From: Philly

Since last post: 4014 days
Last activity: 4013 days
#16 Posted on
I did like the first match on the show, and the rest is a total blur except that I haven't seen drama this lame since the last year I watched Bold and the Beautiful. Please don't ask me what the storyline was, it was five years ago. Probably about kidnapping or sexual harassment or something...believe me, sympathy isn't what you'd want to give to those characters. Maybe a lobotomy. Anyway, I was referring to the opening promo.

Steph's the GM of Smackdown, but her father can rule over her, and my head hurts already. So in the end, I appreciate the wrestling (except Taker's match, it went on for years), but it's safe to say that the GMs now are as effective as a fart in a windstorm.

"Friendship - The art of using somebody to your advantage so that they can help you succeed in life. Once they can no longer help you, they are no longer your friend." Brock Lesnar, Philosopher

1200 bitches and counting....
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Small vignette with Jason Lancaster and Gypsy Joe. I think Gypsy Joe is 80-ish. They are going to team up? Ummm.. Announcer hype upcoming cards and the show today...into.. Match 1: Gypsy Joe and "Gypsy Jason" Lancaster vs.
- Eddie Famous, NWA Main Event for 10/15 (2005)
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