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The W - Pro Wrestling - The Great Thomas SmackDown! Report 6/24/04
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The Great Thomas
Sujuk








Since: 17.6.02
From: Miami, Florida

Since last post: 3284 days
Last activity: 3284 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.40
Okay. Story time. This week, I went to Walgreen's to buy videotapes so I could record this week's wrestling shows. I guess somebody fucked up during the shipping, since almost all of the tapes had a huge, noticable crack somewhere on them. So, there I was, searching for any unblemished videotape I could find, when suddenly, I look down, and there's this GIANT WHITE COCKROACH coming straight at my feet! I jump away just in time to see it scurry under the video bin. At that point, a woman who had been watching the whole thing points at the video bin and says to me: "There's a roach under there." So, I find some not-broken videotapes, pay for them, and leave. But, before I do, I take one last look back and see the roach scampering towards the cashier. Hopefully, the lady working the register will have noticed it before it's too late.

So what does this have to do with SmackDown!, you ask? Um... I don't know. Go ask your mother. It's time for The Great Thomas SmackDown! Report!

LAST WEEK: Undertaker opened a can of whoop-ass on John Cena and Rob Van Dam.

Backstage: Cena goes to the ring despite the urgings of Charlie Haas and Miss Jackie.

John Cena: Cena demands that Undertaker explain his actions last week. But Mr. Angle is wheeled out by Luther. Mr. Angle's happy that Cena's unhappy. Mr. Angle gives us a rap! He raps out that Cena will be facing the Undertaker TONIGHT!

GM Room: JBL praises Mr. Angle. JBL says that Eddie Guerrero is a cancer in the WWE, and making him have a match tonight will teach Eddie some respect. So, who's Eddie's opponent? Mr. Angle and JBL look at Luther...

10-Man Over-The-Top Cruiserweight Battle Royal: Rey Mysterio gives us Guest Commentary. In order of elimination: Spike Dudley, Nunzio, Paul London, Akio, Shannon Moore, Scotty 2 Hotty, Funaki, Jamie Noble, Billy Kidman. Chavo Guerrero is your #1 Contender for the Cruiserweight Title!

Backstage: Paul Heyman studies the blueprints for the concrete crypt. The Dudleys are doubtful that Undertaker will do the right thing. But the three are distracted by some noise in the back. That noise turns out to be Mordecai and Bob Holly brawling. The fighting spills out into the hallway, but Luther Reigns and the officials break it up. Mordecai: "I will crucify you! I will crucify you!" Mr. Angle shows up and asks Heyman if Undertaker is good for tonight. Heyman says Undertaker will demonstrate his loyalty tonight.

Suzuki vs. Gunn: Hey, Billy Gunn is the hometown hero! Hiroko disrobes Suzuki. Chops, and more chops. Kneedrop by Suzuki. And another. More chops, but Gunn quickly gains the upper hand! FAMEASSER! Gunn goes for the cover, but Hiroko TOSSES SALT IN GUNN'S EYES! Mr. Fuji, Part 2! That's a DQ for Suzuki, but Suzuki don't care. STO to Billy!

Backstage: Sable is WALKING! She finds Torrie Wilson, and accuses her of hogging the spotlight last week. Sable tells Torrie that her Uncle Sam outfit makes her look FAT! OH NO YOU DIDN'T! Torrie retaliates by saying Sable's outfit makes her look EASY! It's on now! CATFIGHT! The officials are quick to separate the two.

Video Package: How the Eddie vs. JBL match at the Great American Bash came to be.

Eddie Guerrero: Is that the Batmobile? Eddie heads down to the ring... let's go to commercial break!

Guerrero vs. Reigns: Mr. Angle is wheeled out to see the match. GORILLA PRESS SLAM by Reigns! Shoulderblock by Eddie knocks Reigns down! But Mr. Angle trips up Eddie, allowing Reigns to get a hold on Eddie. BUTTERFLY SUPLEX! BEARHUG! But Eddie comes back! THREE AMIGOS! But Luther breaks out at two! The referee is knocked down. Luther hits his finisher, and Mr. Angle runs in and counts the pinfall! But Eddie kicks out! Luther goes for the Title Belt, but Eddie gets Luther with a GROIN KICK! Eddie threatens to hit Mr. Angle with the title belt, but he sees the ref coming to, so he tosses the belt to Mr. Angle and plays dead! The ref sees the belt in Mr. Angle's hands and ejects him from the ring. Eddie hits the FROGSPLASH on Luther, but JBL runs in with the bullrope and beats down Eddie. That's a DQ! JBL hangs Eddie by the neck with the bullrope. But Eddie escapes and whacks JBL with the bullrope a few times. JBL flees the ring.

RVD vs. Duprée: Booker T does Guest Commentary. RVD kicks Duprée in the face, and Duprée sells it MARVELOUSLY! Booker and Cole trade jibes. ROLLING THUNDER by RVD! Duprée tosses RVD into the exposed turnbuckle, and picks up the win! Afterwards, Duprée dances the French Tickler in Bookers face! Booker is aghast.

Backstage: Undertaker is WALKING!

Cena vs. Undertaker: Taker gets the early offense, but Cena fires back. Oops, spoke too soon. VERTICAL SUPLEX by Taker! OLD SCHOOL! FLYING LARIAT! Cena pulls the low bridge, and Taker falls to the outside! Let's go to commercial break!

Cena vs. Undertaker (cont.): Cena keeps knocking Taker off the apron. Cena clotheslines Taker into the crowd! Taker is thrown into the steel steps! Taker's arm is cut open. LEGDROP ON THE APRON by Taker! Freaky submission by Taker. More squashing. But Cena fights back! Taker knocks him back down. Taker hangs Cena on the top rope... SUPERPLEX! Cena kicks out! Chokeout by Taker. Everytime Cena tries to make a comeback, he gets knocked down. NO, WAIT! SPINEBUSTER by Cena! SHOULDERBLOCK by Cena! Cena hits the FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE! Pump up... F-U is foiled... BIG BOOT by Taker! Taker signals the Last Ride, but Cena escapes! Cena hits the F-U! But the ref's down! Taker sits up! CHOKESLAM to Cena! But the ref's still down! Taker sees Cena's chain... CHAINSHOT to Cena! But Taker's not done. TOMBSTONE! 1.. 2.. 3! Heyman comes out with the urn. Taker bows. And...we're out.

That's all for this week. Until then, Good Night, take care of yourselves, and how can a white cockroach exist? Is that like a mutation or something? Eeesh...



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BWT
Boerewors








Since: 27.1.04
From: Philly

Since last post: 3099 days
Last activity: 2703 days
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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.48
From what I saw it was a decent show. The best part by far was Suzuki not selling the Fameasser. PPV card looks like Judgement Day 2 and thats not a good thing at all. Hopefully Eddy pulls out another great performance and Rey V Chavo gets some time.
Evil Antler God
Potato korv








Since: 10.1.02

Since last post: 2847 days
Last activity: 973 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.28
Feh, all that bitching about Undertaker/Cena for nothing. They told a damned fine story, with Cena KNOWING he was boned going into that match, ending up putting up a hell of a fight, having Taker down for a six count after the ref bump, before finally coming up short

Spiraling_Shape
Bratwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: PA

Since last post: 11 hours
Last activity: 4 hours
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.04
Yeah, most enjoyable SD! in quite a while. I enjoyed the Cruiserweight fun and RVD/Dupree. But shouldn`t the One Ass care that his tag partner just got into a donnybrook mere moments before he came out prancing?

Sign of the night: SUZUKI FEARS ICHIRO



"I've had more ups and down than a whore's drawers."
OMEGA
Lap cheong








Since: 18.6.02
From: North Cacalacky

Since last post: 1849 days
Last activity: 1817 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.64
Okay SmackDown. I really enjoyed the Cruiserweight battle royal. Paul London makes his second ever appearance on SmackDown! Hey, 20 more weeks of Velocity and then he might make another Thursday appearance. YAY!!!

I like how Sazuki's face made no (and I mean NO) contact with the mat during the FameAsser. Flashbacks of Undertaker tombstoning Jake Roberts at WrestleMania VIII.

Paul Heyman can take the stupidest ideas and make me interested in them. The man is a genius.

It looks like Bradshaw might win the WWE Title at Great American Bash this Sunday. Hey, crazier things have happened: Mabel once headlined SummerSlam.

I enjoyed the Dupree/RVD match.

I don't like how only 5 matches are announced for the PPV that's taking place THIS Sunday. It reminds me of those WCW PPVs where they'd have 4 or 5 matches on the card, and then throw out 4 cold matches on the show.

When I saw that Cena/Undertaker was starting with a half-hour left in the show, I was downright scared. But it ended up being a decent little match. Undertaker v. Dudleyz has been getting main-event level hype for the GAB PPV.

(edited by OMEGA on 24.6.04 2259)


The answer to WWE's financial problems...

Never 'Wiener of the Day', and is actually quite bitter about it.
too-old-now
Bockwurst








Since: 7.1.04

Since last post: 1206 days
Last activity: 131 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.53
Based on the spoilers, I expected SD! to suck, so I was pleasantly surprised that many of the matches were pretty good. Not enough to make me consider joining the military to get a free PPV, but enough to keep me from snoozin' on the couch.

Taker and Cena - we have seen them a number of times before and they work well together. I hate the Dudleys angle.

White cockroaches are tasty when dipped in dark chocolate...
emma
Cherries > Peaches








Since: 1.8.02
From: Phoenix-ish

Since last post: 119 days
Last activity: 1 hour
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.47
Albino cockroach == Mordecai is watching YOU
(Be afraid. Be very afraid.)
Mayhem
Scrapple








Since: 25.4.03
From: Nashville, TN

Since last post: 16 hours
Last activity: 12 hours
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.39

Paul London really made the most of the opportunity that was given to him this week. He managed to pull off a couple of really cool moves that I hope the top brass noticed. GIVE HIM A CHANCE!!!

When I noticed that Cena & 'Taker were going to be given close to 30 minutes, I thought "damn", but it turned out to be a decent match ...

Smackdown actually wasn't the nut-filled turd that it appeared to be on paper. I might watch again next week.




Go banana.
dano1701
Pinkelwurst








Since: 21.5.04
From: Tujunga, California

Since last post: 3211 days
Last activity: 2869 days
AIM:  
#9 Posted on
the crusierweight battle was good. the Dudley's are such bad actors i can barely stand it, i am liking them less and less as their smackdown! careers carry on. The Taker/Cena match was awesome, it was good to see Taker in heel mode again.
fuelinjected
Banger








Since: 12.10.02
From: Canada

Since last post: 3169 days
Last activity: 3169 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.15
I'm still wondering why Mordecai is hanging out backstage and somehow got into a fight with Bob Holly?

That was the most random segment of the year unless I missed something.

Moredcai should have jumped Shannon Moore for making him feel all funny in his loins.



WWE now serving only -> "DIET CHAVO - All the taste - Half the fat!"
ScreamingHeadGuy
Frankfurter








Since: 1.2.02
From: Appleton, WI

Since last post: 656 days
Last activity: 656 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.38
Maybe it's a mutant WHITE cockroach! I've never seen or even heard of a white one; they've all been black (mind you, the only one I saw was at an airport on Saint Louis...but that's another story altogether).

The thing I don't get is: When have Haas and Cena been friends? I mean, Haas mentions that in the opening bit, and I'm left wondering when the heck that happened. I mean, I can't really remember any time they've feuded, but I can't think of any time since Haas's "turn" that they've allied.

Oh, Hiroko, I'll put some color into your skin.

This week's show was better than last. Every little bit helps.



"ScreamingHeadGuy, don't fear the wang. Know the wang. Embrace the wang. BE the wang....."
- heed the wisdom of DEAN
leggo
Mettwurst








Since: 23.3.04
From: Dublin, Ireland

Since last post: 3625 days
Last activity: 3469 days
AIM:  
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.71
The thing I don't get is: When have Haas and Cena been friends? I mean, Haas mentions that in the opening bit, and I'm left wondering when the heck that happened. I mean, I can't really remember any time they've feuded, but I can't think of any time since Haas's "turn" that they've allied.

They don't need to note a friendship to you, the beauty of kayfabe is that you can always assume faces will be friends with faces and heels with heels. Besides, if you look at it logically and in an 'if wrestling was real' kinda way, the amount these guys travel with each other you can pretty much assume there's going to be a bond between them storyline-wise unless otherwise stated or unless they're a noted loner.
Net Hack Slasher
Banger








Since: 6.1.02
From: Outer reaches of your mind

Since last post: 3497 days
Last activity: 1917 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.21
-Cena/Angle interview- Cena came out but didn't rap but actually sounded serious about wanting some answer from the Undertaker... Kurt Angle comes out and drops a rap on Cena saying he's got a match tonight with the Undertaker

-Cruiserweight Battle Royal- That was actually a very well done cruiserweight battle royal. Noble, Kidman and Chavo did some very good work as the final 3... Noble has Dukes of Hazards tights on. Did Shannon Moore cut his hair? London actually used the little time he had out there to try to show what he can do, is anyone in management watching?

-Gunn vs. Suzuki- Cole says "Billy Gunn is as American as they come"(or something like that. HAHA laughs at W'ers with USA flags)... Nice sell of the fameasser as Suzuki face doesn't even come close to connecting with the mat.

-Eddie vs. Reigns- Reigns actually looks better then his Horshu WCW days. Eddie carried him well... Bradshaw runs in as Eddie goes for the win but Eddie fights him off. Hehe with Eddie getting the advantage on the last show before the PPV it kind of looks like they are setting up a Bradshaw title, HAHAHA I know silly.

-Dupree vs. RVD- A quick 5-minute match, but both worked quick and well. Booker was funny doing commentary... Dupree does the shocking French tickler right in Booker's FACE. Oh that Dupree.

-Undertaker vs. Cena- It was a good match, unfortunately one thing that stands out is as Taker goes for the chokeslame, Cena went to kick Undertaker in the midsection/knee but Taker must not have felt it as he didn't even flinch, that looked odd. But for a match that went 23-minutes, it was impressive... I would have liked if Cena wasn't the US title, I've always had trouble with a title holder losing to someone higher on the card in a "non-title" match.

-OtherStuff- Acme cement mixing truck? Dudleyz question what's the right thing actually? Paul tells them to trust him... Out of no where Mordecai is beating up Bob Holly for no real reason... Speaking of no real reason, this week Sable and Torrie aren't friends. Fat, skank, they get a PPV match...

-Line of the Night: Cole "Billy Gunn is as American as they come"
-Sign of the Night: "Mordecai fears Dibiase"
-3Stars of the Night: 1)Noble. 2)Dupree. 3)Cena.

I think it was a decent wrestling show on it's own. Didn't really make me any more interested in the angles or characters but as the matches went they preformed well.




smark/net attack wienerville advisory stays at BLUE alert - Guarded (With Benoit & Eddie being World & WWE champions you'd expect all's be right but JBL PPV main event causes a threat)- 5/6
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