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The W - Pro Wrestling - The Great Thomas SmackDown! Report (6/17/04)
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The Great Thomas

Since: 17.6.02
From: Miami, Florida

Since last post: 4654 days
Last activity: 4654 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.47
This week's RAW was nothing short of awful. That means that this week's Smackdown will be the greatest thing since sliced bread. Sliced Bread #1. It's time for The Great Thomas SmackDown! Report!

Dudley Boys vs. Rico/Haas: There's a cement mixer in the arena. Haas plays the face in peril. T-BONE SUPLEX by Haas! SPEAR by Rico! Suplex by Bubba. Haas inadvertently knocks Miss Jackie off the apron, allowing Bubba to rollup Rico using the ropes for leverage. 1.. 2.. 3! OMG NEW CHAMPS! Heyman appears. He and the Dudleys celebrate the win.

Heyman's Still Here: He shows us the Undertaker bowing to him last week. The Undertaker cares for Paul Bearer, so at The Great American Bash, it will be Undertaker vs. The Dudleys in a handicap match. There, Paul Bearer will be sitting in a glass crypt, and next to it will be a cement truck. And if Taker doesn't "do the right thing", Heyman will give the word, and the cement truck will flood the crypt, and Paul Bearer will be no more!

In The News: Bradshaw was fired from CNBC.

Eddie Guerrero: Eddie's lowrider bounces the highest I've seen yet. He makes fun of Bradshaw being fired from CNBC. We see footage of Eddie's limo ride from last week. He calls out Bradshaw, but the Basham Brothers come out. Doug Basham says that he and Eddie have unfinished business. Doug rushes the ring, and he and Eddie get to brawling. A referee runs in, and IT'S ON!

Guerrero vs. Doug Basham: BIG LEG TAKEDOWN by Doug! DOUBLE-TEAM MANEUVERS GALORE! THREE AMIGOS by Eddie! Eddie wins via FROGSPLASH! Afterwards, Danny attacks Eddie, but Eddie retaliates with a GROIN KICK, followed by a DDT and another FROGSPLASH!

GM Room: Cena comes in. Mr. Angle tells Cena that his match at the Great American Bash will be an Elimination Match. Cena says he thinks Nr. Angle really wants to be John Cena. Cena puts a "Word Life" hat on Mr. Angle's head, and leaves. Angle is visibly pissed.

Backstage: Funaki (dressed like Cena) and Josh Matthews have a battle rap, with Random Ref making his triumphant return as the beatbox! Funaki makes fun of Mr. Angle in his rap, not knowing Mr. Angle is behind him. Mr. Angle is angry. He puts Funaki in a match against Luther!

Suzuki vs. Spike: Extreme closeup of Suzuki's face. The geisha disrobes Suzuki. Chops galore! BRAINBUSTER by Suzuki! KNEEDROP! STO! 1.. 2.. 3, and Gogo's your sister. I think your sister's pretty!

In His Own Words: JBL: He's got a new limo (with new longhorns!). He's brings a bullrope in the ring. JBL says that America wants to see him fail because JBL was the man who shoved them in their lockers and stole their girlfiend, and that's still the case. A soldier died in a firefight in Iraq, and the media was covering Sean Penn supporting Saddam Hussein's regime and putting it in a positive light. The Liberal Media has brainwashed America. Our founding fathers are rolling over in their graves over what America has become. Eddie Guerrero has become a personification of what is wrong with America, and at The Great American Bash, JBL will win the title to shove it down America's collective throat! Afterwards, Eddie Guerrero attacks JBL, and JBL flees the ring.

Mysterio vs. Chavo Classic: MOONSAULT by Classic! HEADSCISSORS by Mysterio! 6-1-9! DROPPING THE DIME! 1.. 2.. 3! NEW CHAMP! Thus ends the legacy of Chavo Classic. So long, Classic. Thanks for the memories.

Mordecai: He says that one sinner in the locker room is the worst sinner of all. Specifically, a sinner who lies, cheats, and steals.

Funaki vs. Reigns: Mr. Angle looks on. Squash Match. Luther wins via HUGE POWERSLAM! Afterwards Luther says that anyone who messes with Mr. Angle will suffer Funaki's fate. Mr. Angle gives the Roman Emperor "thumbs down", and Luther hits a SWINGING NECKBREAKER on Funaki!

RAW Rebound: Kane Pillmanizes HBK's throat. Also, Triple H becomes Eugene's friend.

Earlier Tonight: TWO TITLE CHANGES! OMG!

Torrie Wilson: She comes out in an Uncle Sam costume to promote the Great American Bash.

Booker T: Booker's mad about his match at The Great American Bash being a Fatal Fourway. He thinks his match last week was rigged. René Duprée comes in and tells Booker that he better have his back in his match, or he'll be on the recieving end of a French Tickler! Eeewww...

Enzyte: Smiling Bob's wife is UGLY.

RVD/Cena vs. Booker T/Duprée: FLYING KICK by RVD! Outside the ring, Booker and Duprée argue, and RVD hits a BASEBALL SLIDE on them both! Cena applauds. Let's go to commercial break!

UPN News at 10: Freddy Kreuger has a reality show?! Wierd.

RVD/Cena vs. Booker T/Duprée (cont.): KNEEDROP by Booker T! FRENCH TICKLER by Duprée! Cena gets tagged in, and is a HOUSE O' FIRE! BUTWAIT! Cena and RVD brawl! The Lights go out, and the BONG sounds! Undertaker appears! Beatdown to RVD! CHOKESLAM to RVD! TOMBSTONE to Cena! Heyman appears with the urn. Taker bows. And... we're out.

That's all for this week. Until then, Good Night, take care of yourselves, and this week's SmackDown! was pretty good! Not the greatest SmackDown! ever, but pretty good nonetheless.

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Evil Antler God
Potato korv

Since: 10.1.02

Since last post: 4218 days
Last activity: 2344 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.29
Gosh, that was a SHOOT BROTHER from JBL, wasn't it

I'm missing Chavo already. Who knew he actually had a moonsault in him?

And I missed the initial description of the upcoming Taker match, but the person I was watching with described it as "Paul Bearer in a glass coffin, suspended in the air and slowly lowered into a vat of concrete if Undertaker can't beat the Dudleys in time." Now THAT would be a far superior match to what they're actually selling
Spaceman Spiff

Since: 2.1.02
From: Philly Suburbs

Since last post: 34 days
Last activity: 40 min.
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.05
Compared to past efforts, this SD wasn't that bad.

-looks like Rico was legit hurt, and that probably cut down the match length a bit.

-looked like Chavo Classic was busting out the top-shelf offense as a big "fuck you" to the WWE in response to their rumored "humorous ideas" for him. Goodbye Classic, we hardly knew ye.

-beat-boxing ref!

-short squash by Luther, but he didn't look that bad. I'm kinda interested to see how he'd do in a longer match. He's got more experience than the typical OVW hoss. And visually, he looks like an amalgamation of Goldberg & Brock. Liked the "Roll the Dice" he busted out post-match.

-Mordecai vs. Eddie? Whee. Eddie's back is going to give out after having to carry all these lunks.

Mr Heel II
Lap cheong

Since: 25.2.02

Since last post: 50 days
Last activity: 46 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.81
You know, Mordecai was one "Thsufferin Thuccotash" away from channeling Sylvester the Cat.

It wasn't too bad a show. JBL's promo was pretty good. Far too long, but he sure came off as legit bitter. I can't believe Chavo did the moonsault. Luther came off looking pretty good.

Where in the world did they find such a shiny, clean cement mixer?

If they're going to call Suzuki "huge", shouldn't they put him in the ring with a smaller referee?


Since: 22.4.02
From: Outside of Boston

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 2 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.67
You wanted the best, you got... Out of Context Quote of the Week.

"Wake me when any of them are naked." (Barbwire Mike)

I don't think it helps that Kenzo's only announced at 250, either, Mr Heel. The only good thing I can say about him is at least he has a credible finisher (in that he could conceivably do it to almost anyone).

Anyone catch the Sign of the Night? That's right, "LUTHER PLAYS HORSHU". See, because he was... oh hell, at least it's not as bad as his last name's spelling.

Antler God: That's until Undertaker pulls out his Taker-Grappling Hook and saves his loyal sidekick, then they beat up everyone with G.O.O.N. on their shirts.

Oh, and the Beatbox Ref has a name. You might know it... Brian Hebner.

DEAN's Nuggets of Wisdom:

"A-Train could wear a Vampirella outfit and I would toast a load to it."

Since: 3.10.02
From: Right side of the tracks

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 1 day
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.34
I am horribly bored with a Face John Cena.

To everybody who was shocked at Classic's moonsault, I remember the first moonsault I ever witnessed back in about 83, Chavo (no classic) nailing a slim, trim, lean, mean Hacksaw Jim Duggan on Mid South Wrestling.

Suzuki needs to pay a little more attention to his hair. What was with that strip of hair on his forhead that wasnt in the pony tail? Looked like crap I tell ya!

Dudleys win the Tag Team gold. More proof the writers have no clue what they are doing.

The Taker match, bores me. They have to make a big glass thingee for Paul Bearer because they aint paying the extra for the HUGE casket it would actually take to bury his lard ass in. Unless they still have that one from the Taker/Yokozuna casket match handy.

Smackdown gets worse each week. They need a lot of help. Maybe a pregnancy angle?

Thank you for your irrelevant opinion.

Doe, Ray, Me, Fa, So, La, TITO SANTANA!

Since: 17.3.02

Since last post: 3654 days
Last activity: 3630 days
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.04
You know, this Undertaker storyline is more convoluted by the week.

- Taker is killed by Kane.
- Taker comes back, and kills Kane. Paul Bearer is with him. We don't know why.
- The Dudley's kidnap Bearer. Heyman steals the urn.
- Heyman confronts Taker. Taker bows to the urn.
- Heyman tells Taker that he'll have to fight the Dudleys and do the right thing. However, Taker is still apparently doing whatever Heyman tells him to do. Thus, WHY IS HEYMAN WASTING HIS TIME PUTTING TAKER IN A MATCH AGAINST HIS OWN MINIONS? If they at least played it like Taker was trying to resist Paul, then I could understand it.
It's False

Since: 20.6.02
From: I am the Tag Team Champions!

Since last post: 34 days
Last activity: 21 hours
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.86
    Originally posted by The Great Thomas
    Mordecai: He says that one sinner in the locker room is the worst sinner of all. Specifically, a sinner who lies, cheats, and steals.

What's worse than a Bob Holly main event push? What's worse than a Bradshaw main event push? How about pushing the new guy STRAIGHT to the main event, despite being green as a cucumber? I can only hope this is a placeholder feud (like the Basham feud), because I really don't want to picture Eddie/Mordecai headlining a PPV.

Enjoy the fresh taste of Chavo Classic and New Chavo!
(Disclaimer: Exposure to Chavo Classic and/or New Chavo may lead to offbeat shenanigans)

Since: 21.11.02
From: Los Angeles, CA

Since last post: 2694 days
Last activity: 2025 days
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.00
As for all the confusion when it comes to the whole Taker-Dudleys under Heyman's guidance/control thing, I think maybe Heyman's just really pushing for the Dudleys, and Taker's more of his means to that end (Don't ask why, I'm just trying to interpret). Thus, by controlling Taker, it's not so much to have him fight for Heyman, but rather, he's there to fight the Dudleys as a big name for them to beat, and work their way into headlining events.

That's my guess on it. I'm not saying whether that's good or bad, but that's my take on what they're trying to do.


Since: 14.3.04

Since last post: 4773 days
Last activity: 3818 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.81
Well, we don't really know what the "right thing" is. So, this Undertaker angle may end up making sense. (I wouldn't count on it)

I had a disturbing thought: Mordecai interference in JBL vs Eddie, costing the belt. Ughh. Will they give the belt to JBL? I have an unnerving feeling that they will.

3 matches + the diva thing at GAB so far... nope, its not getting my money. The sad thing, I have no idea what the other matches could even be. Except probably Rey vs Chavo, or some Cruiserweight battle royale-thing. This time, they can't even have random velocity tag team vs. tag team champions like they did at Judgment Day. Well, I guess they could still for a "#1 contender shot" or something. In all fairness to the GAB Card, the matches they have currently do look somewhat interesting. I have always liked Fatal Four-Way Elimination matches more than the basic Fatal Fourway. And the two gimmick matches are at least trying to be somewhat original.

They don't seem to be booking the undercard at all. I hope they dont have Mordecai vs Jobber, Horshu vs Jobber, and Kenzo vs Jobber at GAB. Thats the only undercard storyline currently playing.

(edited by Peregrine on 18.6.04 1630)

Since: 20.1.04
From: Fairfax, VA

Since last post: 4717 days
Last activity: 3814 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.45
    Originally posted by It's False
      Originally posted by The Great Thomas
      Mordecai: He says that one sinner in the locker room is the worst sinner of all. Specifically, a sinner who lies, cheats, and steals.

    What's worse than a Bob Holly main event push? What's worse than a Bradshaw main event push? How about pushing the new guy STRAIGHT to the main event, despite being green as a cucumber? I can only hope this is a placeholder feud (like the Basham feud), because I really don't want to picture Eddie/Mordecai headlining a PPV.

Since Summerslam is the next PPV for Smackdown, I'm guessing that the writers aren't retarded enough to put Mordecai in a main event feud at the second-biggest show of the year. So it'll likely be a place holder feud, like you said, until they prep up Eddie-Angle or Eddie-Taker... then again, I originally thought that JBL was a placeholder feud, so go figure.
Cherries > Peaches

Since: 1.8.02
From: Phoenix-ish

Since last post: 5 days
Last activity: 1 day
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.47
I found it to be a much better SD than we've had lately.

Charlie *almost* crossed the "runway" this week. Perhaps one day, & then he won't be in Kansas any more.

If Rico's injury wasn't worked (& it didn't look like it was), then Bubba Dudley is a legitimately major asshole. After the toss through the ropes where he caught his left heel & landed badly, Rico was grabbing his left thigh, about halfway around the back. He's a trooper, tries to carry on. Bubba goes for a vertical suplex that Rico can't help any on, so Bubba has to muscle Rico up considerably -- not the brightest move for Bubba to go for, under the circumstances. So we go for the finish, & the "roll up" that Bubba chooses involves laying all his weight onto Rico's injured leg, stretching out the injured aspect of said leg about as far as it could go. That's just totally being a shit to a fellow worker, for no apparent reason. (Not like this is even a regular, expected finisher for Bubba.)

Heyman is excellent. "It's not nice to antagonize a powerful man like me." :-) I liked the ambiguity of "do the right thing" & why Heyman would want Dudleys vs. Taker.

Handsome looking coffin -- probably expensive -- they must have gotten it used.

Fun promo by Eddie. Nice fun little match with Doug Basham. I like the Eddie who gets to have fun kicking a decent opponent's ass.

The Angle /Cena backstage segment was better than usual. Kurt just being so frustrated with Cena is good. (Once Kurt is ready to come back, I wonder who his first major feud is going to be with. :-) )

Lookit that! We had a brief (& amusing) Funaki/Josh segment to provide a reason for Luther's debut! Yea!

OK, Suzuki did more in this match than he did last week, but I'm not exactly drinking the Kool-Aid about him. (I'm still waiting to see skills commensurate with the hype.) Great bumping & selling by Scotty last week -- good bumping & selling by Spike this week.

Excellent shoot promo by Bradshaw! (I don't much like Bradshaw promos, but ...) Vince: Lemons to lemonade! :-)

Classic vs. Mysterio was a nice, professional wrap-up for Chavo. It's a shame they didn't manage to negotiate another minute or 2 from Vince, but it was cool.

Mordecai lining up on Eddie? Hmm. That does make good sense for his character. Although I can't believe they're going to make that Eddie's primary feud. The champion can have several people after him, though, so maybe that's the deal.

Don't know why, but Kurt on his gigantic pop-up toaster today was better than usual. He was so proud of his boy. That's a decent little squash debut. (Give 'em a purpose, introduce 'em slowly, get 'em some exposure, ...) And he talks at least adequately.

I liked the lullaby music behind the Raw recap with HHH/Eugene.

Torrie & the Webber Kettle -- pFFt.

Booker whining to Josh & then Rene's interruption turned into a cute spot.

Fifi in a beret! I love it when Fifi gets wardrobe!

I liked the ME better this week than last week's version, & I still think Cena & Dupree click particularly well together. Crowd goes crazy for Taker magically appearing in-ring. An entertaining multi-way squash.

I'd pretty much written off GAB, but ... maybe I will get it after all. (That's a good sign of them turning things back around.)
Net Hack Slasher

Since: 6.1.02
From: Outer reaches of your mind

Since last post: 4868 days
Last activity: 3288 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.27
-Dudleyz vs. Rico/Haas- Sad to see the titles taken off Rico & Haas. They were a somewhat interesting story on SD & I thought they started working well together unfortunately they been doing Velocity duty lately... Dudley's as champs are so repetitive it's almost meaningless.

-Heyman interview- This man can sell me almost on anything. I'd buy ice cream on a winter day. I'd buy a scarf during a heat wave... On SD he tried, man did he try hard with the sales pitch. But tune into the PPV to see some out dated wrestling manager possibly get buried in cement. My reaction was "uh whatever"

-Eddie vs. Doug Basham- But starts with an Eddie promo accompanied by a long video package of last week... Didn't like this match at all. Immediate ref bump as the Basham's hit their finisher and upside-down dropkick. Eddie goes to full superman mode by defeating both of them. It had on of the most telegraphed run up the ropes headscissors/armdrag I've seen Eddie do. Poor stuff IMO.

-Suzuki vs. Spike- Suzuki is truly the definition of unimpressive. He hasn't been asked to sell much and his offense has the force of a SD diva... To say one thing positive I guess his finisher is all right.

-Layfield interview- This interview was hilarious. He said this week had more focus on him then Reagan(oh yeah you didn't hear word one on the news about Reagan). I had a shoot/heat blurring feel to it. I'll give JBL credit he certainly delivered with a lot of emotion even though a lot of his claims are just silly... But it is kind of odd him cutting a heel promo at the same time putting himself over in visiting soldiers and supporting his troops.

-Mysterio vs. ChavoClassic- C.Classic breaks out a freakin Moonsault on a standing Rey. I'm talking picture perfect moonsault(take note Lita). That was his last hurrah as Mysterio wins the title in under 2-minutes... I'm going to miss C.Classic, that old man was this years most pleasant surprise.

-Reigns vs. Funaki- Sure it was a squash but at least Reigns looks like he's somewhat comfortable and impressive out there offensively... Certainly better then Suzaki who gets to squash his opponent and doesn't even come off as intimidating. Kurt is proud. I agree with Emma introducing a guy slowly like this is a good move.

-Wilson interview- Torrie vs. BarBQ grill and Torrie wins, Torrie always wins... I think Torrie found her calling in life as a Barker Beauty. I bid $70 Bob.

-Booker/Dupree vs. RVD/Cena- Before the match Booker & Dupree had a entertaining verbal exchange backstage. Fifi with a beret is a good thing(You take the positives when you can on this show)... Actually this match was pretty positive I really liked how all 4 played off eachother opponents and partners. Really all looked strong enough and with the circumstances any pin over anyone will really not hurt anyone credibility. Please let's have a finish, PLEASE. NOPE can't have that. We have Undertaker come in and squash everyone, couldn't he do that after a result so it doesn't make you're U.S title feud seem meaningless.

-OtherStuff- Angle tells Cena his match at the PPV is an elimination 4-way. Isn't that match better for Cena as he controls his own destiny(unlike Victoria at Bad Blood)... Wonderboy Josh Mathews and Funaki is backstage with a rap off. Funaki comments about Kurt's hair, prepare to get squashed... Mordecai doesn't pronounce the letter "s" well. And gives a challenge to Eddie. Eddie in feuds with Bradshaw, Basham's and now maybe Mordecai. No wonder I'm starting to care less for Eddie or his title.

-Line of the Night: Dupree "You better have my back, or you too might be on the receiving end of the French Tickler"
-Sign of the Night: " Luther Plays Horshu" - Thanks DrJay
-3Stars of the Night: 1)ChavoClassic. 2)Dupree. 3)Booker.

Last couple of weeks I thought SD was better but this week was just bad. Even the positives had negatives to it. I liked the main event but the no-finish (When the last time SD main-event had a finish?) ruined it a bit. Chavo breaking out a moonsault was great but knowing he's gone from the company made me sad. Layfield interview was an interesting listen. Heyman wasn't (which is very bizarro world)... Luther looked okay in his squash, Suzuki didn't. Eddie starting to bore me which is one of those things I didn't expect to write, Torrie bores me which is something I do expect to write LoL and taking the title out of the few teams that are actually interesting (Haas/Rico) is kind of lame. So yeah not a very good SD in my eyes at all.

smark/net attack wienerville advisory stays at BLUE alert - Guarded (With Benoit & Eddie being World & WWE champions you'd expect all's be right but JBL PPV main event causes a threat)- 5/6

Since: 1.2.02
From: Appleton, WI

Since last post: 2027 days
Last activity: 2027 days
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.38
It's concrete, not cement. Stupid Michael Cole.

"ScreamingHeadGuy, don't fear the wang. Know the wang. Embrace the wang. BE the wang....."
- heed the wisdom of DEAN
Thread rated: 5.34
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Son of Havok reeks of bad indy wrestling gimmick to me. I hope he doesn't stay around. The rest was perfectly fine with me and is grapping my interest.
Related threads: Smackdown spoilers for 6/15/04 - the mighty mighty WWE SMACKDOWN WORKRATE REPORT- 6/10/2004! - The Great Thomas SmackDown! Report 6/10/04 - More...
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