Last week I saw "Walking Tall". It was entertaining. and proved you don't need huge CGI special effects to make a great action movie. Two thumbs up! Sadly, the theater I went to didn't sell Sno-Caps. SACRILEGE! Anyway, it's time for The Great Thomas SmackDown! Report!
John "Bradshaw" Layfield: He makes his chauffeur polish his limo. Tazz gives a shoutout to Joey Numbaz. Cole owns a 1977 Ford Pinto! Bradshaw says he's deserves the Great American award. He also says that Eddie is an antithesis of what an American should be. He pulls $1,000 out of his pocket and offers it to anyone who can polish his car's hood in 60 seconds! OMG TED DIBIASE PART II! He offers it to an obvious plant, named "Enrique". Enrique polishes like he's never polished before! Bradshaw "accidentally" knocks over the bottle of Turtle Wax, causing Enrique to lose. Bradshaw then tells him not to expect handouts for doing a half-assed job, and sends him off.
Dudley Boyz vs. Ass Worm: PIEFACE to D-Von! NECKBREAKER by Bubba! ENZIGURI by Scotty! SUPERKICK by Scotty! D-Von foils the WORM! 3-D to Scotty! 1... 2... 3! Dudleys win!
GM Room: Charlie tries to tell Angle that he should be the winner of the Great American Award. Big Show confronts Charlie and tells him that he's the one who's gonna win the Award.
Rico and Miss Jackie: They're coming... NEXT WEEK!
Chavo the Younger vs. Noble: Wait... wasn't Noble a heel? Cole and Tazz do a Tito Santana shoutout. SUICIDE PLANCHA by Noble! Hey, I see a Cactus Jack cosplayer! Noble couters the GUERRERO SPECIAL! FLAPJACK by Noble! LEGDROP! Chavo wins via rollup w/rope-grabbing. Tazz sings "San Antonio".
Theodore R. Long: He gives Orlando Jordan and Shannon Moore some Playas' Cards. However, Spike Dudley doesn't get one. Spike challenges Theodore to a match, and Theodore reluctantly accepts! He's gonna bring the thuggin' and buggin'!
Locker Room: RVD and Booker converse. Booker says he'll do whatever it takes to win the tag straps. However, he's still unhapy about not being on RAW anymore. Rob sounds more stoned than usual.
Danny B. vs. Cena: Rapping. Cena throws his nuts at the crowd. Nice tights, Bashams! BASHAM SWITCH fails! Cena hits the FIVE MOVES OF DOOM for the win! GM Angle takes notes.
Walking Tall: Dammit, Johnny Knoxville! I already saw Walking Tall! You can stop promoting the movie now!
RVD/Booker T vs. Haas/Big Show: Haas changed his tights' color to a more sensible black and white. HEADBUTT by Show! BIG SLAP! Kurt Angle continues to take notes. Booker and Big Show trash-talk on the outside. GORILLA PRESS SLAM by Big Show! THE "WALK-ON-YOU" MOVE! RVD tries for a tag, but Booker walks out on him! BEARHUG by Haas! RVD hits the FIVE-STAR FROGSPLASH! But Big Show runs in! AAAATHE CHOKESLAAAAM! Haas pins! 1... 2... 3!
Quiznos Sub: Sorry, Mesquite Chicken with Bacon, but you lost my interest ever since the ugly Rathergood Hamsters left.
GM Room: Rob is visibly pissed. Angle makes the match. It's RVD vs. Booker... NEXT WEEK!
Dupreť vs. Jordan: Cole nearly has an orgasm over Fifi. Dupreť squashes Jordan. FRENCH TICKLER by Dupreť! Dupreť wins via MICHINOKU DRIVER II!
Backstage: Theodore R. Long shadowboxes.
GM Room: Kurt tells Random Backstage Guy to fetch Eddie Guerrero.
Great American Poll: Cena won.
RAW Rebound: Foley introduces us to "Barbie", Trish gets screwed, Eugene licks Lawler, and Evolution beat down Benjamin.
GM Room: Eddie compliments the Great American Trophy. Kurt tells Eddie that he won't be defending his title, since he has the night off.
Backstage: Spike Dudley is WALKING!
Theodore vs. Spike: Nice ring gear, Teddy! Before he starts, Teddy wants to give Spike a warm up match... against Johnny "The Bull" Stamboli!
Spike vs. Stamboli GIANT FLAPJACK by Stamboli! BIG BACKDROP! BEARHUG! Spike wins via DUDLEY DOG!
Thodore vs. Spike: Teddy struggles to get his boxing gloves on. BUT WAIT! MARK JINDRAK attacks Spike! BIG BACKDROP INTO SLAM! Teddy and Jindrak hug.
Kurt Angle's Great American Award Ceremony: Kurt comes out and introduces the five nominees. John Cena's out first. He puts his nuts in Kurt's pocket. Charlie Haas is out next. Then Booker T. Followed by Big Show. Finally, Bradshaw. Let's go to commercial break!
Kurt Angle's Great American Award Ceremony (cont.) "CENA" chant. The polls don't lie. John Cena wins via landslide. Bradshaw protests, and says he deserves the Great American Award. He gives us footage of him at the border hunting filthy illegal immigrants. Bradshaw wins the award! CONGRATULATIONS! However, the award has been replaced with Eddie's portrait! Eddie's jacked the award and used it as a hood ornament for the lowrider! He then attacks Bradshaw with the trophy, and then smashes it with a steel chair! GALLAGHER PART II! And... we're out.
That's all for this week. Until then, Good Night, take care of yourselves, and if you haven't seen Walking Tall, go do so. Just make sure the theater carries Sno-Caps. Unless you don't like Sno-Caps. (SACRILEGE!)
Anyone else feel that tonight's Smackdown was fairly lacklustre? Bradshaw did a nice heel promo at the begining of the show, but it was WAY too long, in my opinion. I couldn't force myself to care about Angel's trophy. Eddy beating up the trophy was fairly a anticlimactic way to end the show.
Overall, a blah Smackdown, I think.
So sayeth Randy Stilton, the real Stinky Cheese Man!
(I'm told that, in the UK, my name is actually hilarious.)
Originally posted by Mr Heel IIA heel offers money to a fan, then makes sure he can't earn it. A trophy gets smashed. Old school heel goodness!
It was something of a silly show, but I had fun.
That's a TOTALLY different Fifi than last week. It might not have been so obvious if they hadn't done the "Let us take you back to last week" footage during Dupree's entrance, but oh well...
Well, tazz and MC pointed out that it was "amazing" that Fifi grew out her fur that quickly . . . so it's likely intentional and going to become a running-gag, which might be kinda cute.
I'm still really excited about this Renee Dupree guy, and no, it's not because of his incredibly noticible wang. (as referenced in another thread.) The pace he worked tonight was really impressive, even if it was only a 1:30 match - he rocks, and is gonna be heeeuge someday.
[quote Kurt Angle's Great American Award Ceremony: Kurt comes out and introduces the five nominees. John Cena's out first. He puts his nuts in Kurt's pocket. Charlie Haas is out next. Then Booker T. Followed by Big Show. Finally, Bradshaw. Let's go to commercial break!
Kurt Angle's Great American Award Ceremony (cont.) "CENA" chant. The polls don't lie. John Cena wins via landslide. Bradshaw protests, and says he deserves the Great American Award. He gives us footage of him at the border hunting filthy illegal immigrants. Bradshaw wins the award! CONGRATULATIONS! However, the award has been replaced with Eddie's portrait! Eddie's jacked the award and used it as a hood ornament for the lowrider! He then attacks Bradshaw with the trophy, and then smashes it with a steel chair! GALLAGHER PART II! And... we're out
Ok, I may be reading more into this than there is, and I am not Dugan-esque in patroitism, but I kind of resented the insinuation that those who are against allowing unfettered access and monetary benefits for illegals are "Bad", and defacing the symbol of the USA (the bald eagle) is "Good".
Originally posted by HoodleWell, tazz and MC pointed out that it was "amazing" that Fifi grew out her fur that quickly . . . so it's likely intentional and going to become a running-gag, which might be kinda cute.
That's pretty awesome how they came up with the same idea for Molly Holly and Rene Dupree's dog.
I didn't watch any Smackdown this week, no SD, Velocity or Afterburn. It wasn't a stand against something it's just wasn't around in the first showing and had no real interest in watching a repeat or the recap show.
I'm the biggest Kurt Angle fan, but is this GM thing just not click me, it just doesn't feel right. I understand because of his injury he's a bad situation and this is probably the only way we can see Kurt on TV but still he's had a lot of characters but GM doesn't really connect. Maybe it's because Heyman did such an amazing job that even as someone as talented and a personal fav of mine can't measure up to him... It could be worse he could have given Angle slams and make all the people qualified for the "Great American" award tap out like the authority figure on Raw.
I can't believe I'm asking for this but... Where the heck is The Undertaker?
John and Matt should win, but John and Jonah will. John is a lock, what with that SSP and all. Plus he's a great pure athlete with a solid look (though it screams Ken Shamrock a bit too much for me). Jamie...Doesn't have a female Diva look to her.