Oh boy. This week I had another dream. This time, it was about Cole and Tazz in an SUV driving around an apartment complex for the duration of the show. Also, the new SmackDown! GM was, believe it or not, DUSTY RHODES! What can it mean?! It's time for The Great Thomas SmackDown! Report!
Eddie Guerrero: That fucker Michael Cole is the most biased man I've ever known. Anyway, Eddie says that GM Kurt's been demanding an apology from him. Eddie says he has a problem with Bradshaw, and that a Great American does not rub his successes in people's faces. He calls out Bradshaw, but JBL responds with a "Smear Campaign" commercial. Eddie continues to call out Bradshaw, but GM Kurt is out, and he's mad. Kurt gives him his title match... TONIGHT! However, Bradshaw's out to tell Kurt that he hasn't been getting too much sleep, and he's tired. So Kurt decides to move the match to Judgement Day. Instead, Eddie will be facing the Big Show tonight!
GM's Room: Big Show walks in. Kurt tells him to teach Eddie a lesson. Big Show says if he doesn't beat Eddie, he'll quit!
Cena vs. Chavo the Younger: Cena makes noize. Headlocks by Cena. Chavo tosses Cena out of the ring, where Senior whacks him with a boot. FIVE MOVES OF DOOM are foiled by Senior. Cena wins via F-U. BURIAL! BURIAL! GLASS CEILING!
RVD et Booker T: Video package of after the Draft Lottery. Van Dam was happy to be on SmackDown!, Booker T was not.
René Dupreé: He and Fifi (w/dye job) are at a French cafe. He's going to unveil "Café du René" next week, and his first guest will be Torrie Wilson!
Big Show et Eddie: Footage from October 2003, when Big Show chokeslammed Eddie on the roof of his lowrider.
Charlie Haas: He's wrestling Rico tonight. Jamie Noble tries to freak out Haas with suggestive comments of what Rico might do to him. Nunzio smacks his ass for good measure.
Haas vs. Rico: Gayness galore! Haas is freaked out. Cole likes Rico. Ha. Rico de-pants Haas. Haas is pissed, and takes the offensive. ASS GRAB by Rico! FRENCH KISS! Even the ref is disgusted! Haas flees the ring. When he tries to re-enter, Rico flashes his thong! So Haas stays outside, and Rico wins via count-out. Haas is so sick he PUKES! Yes folks, Charlie Haas threw up. What a horrible SmackDown!
Locker Room: Big Show preps himself for his match. Bradshaw shows up to thank Big Show, but Show says that he's doing for himself, not for Bradshaw or Kurt.
Mordecai: He serves the Father. And has white eyebrows!
Big Show vs. Guerrero: BIG TOSS! BIG HEADBUTT! BIG SLAM! CHOKE LIFT! Another HEADBUTT! And ANOTHER! BIG SLAP! And ANOTHER! Show steps on Eddie's head. ARM WRENCH by Show! With a LIFT! Show goes fore another, but Eddie yanks Show's chest hair (ha) and forces him out of the ring. Eddie goes for a plancha, but Big Show catches him. But Eddie sends him into the ringpost! Show is down! Let's go to commercial break!
Big Show vs. Guerrero (cont.) Show works on Eddie's shoulder. HEADBUTT to the shoulder! Another HEADBUTT! The third in the match, according to Tazz. BEARHUG by Show! SHITTY BIG BOOT! BIG PUNCHES to the shoulder! BIG CLOTHESLINE! 4TH HEADBUTT! Eddie pulls a wrench out from under the ring, and plants it on Show, which distracts the ref long enough for Eddie to mount a comeback. TORNADO DDT by Eddie! HOLY SHIT! CHOKESLAM is foiled by Eddie. FROGSPLASH! Eddie wins! Show has to quit! Eddie sings the "Na Na Hey Hey Goodbye" song I hate so much, and the fans join in, and it just fucking sucks. Big Show crys. This SmackDown! fucking sucks.
RVD et Booker T: Footage from the first night on SmackDown! RVD, beats Charlie Haas, and Booker T brawls in the locker room with Eddie.
Backstage: Big Show walks off, but hears Torrie Wilson laughing at him. He summons all the strength he can to restrain himself from killing her, and just walks off. Torrie is so shaken, that she cancels her match. Wow, Big Show stopped a Torrie match before he left! For that, I'm grateful. God bless you, Big Show.
Theodore R. Long: He gots a full length mirror. He brings out Mark Jindrak, who stares at the mirror. THE NARCISSIST PART 2! Teddy screams "THE REFLECTION OF PERFECTION!" a million times.
Jindrak vs. Spike: Spike's on the top rope, and Jindrak DROPKICKS HIM OFF! HOLY SHIT! DELAYED VERTICAL SUPLEX by Jindrak! The DUDLEY DOG is foiled, and reversed into a URANAGE! Jindrak pins, 1... 2... 3. Theodore hugs Jindrak.
RVD et Booker T: Last week, Booker T walked out on RVD. This is why this week's match is about.
RAW Rebound: Foley announces the return of Cactus Jack, Edge spears Johnny Nitro, Shelton Benjamin attacks Ric Flair, the weekly humiliation of Trish continues, and Shawn Michaels wins the main event.
Parking Lot: Torrie tries to leave, but Big Show smashes her car, and cries. Torrie screams at him to calm down, but Show does drama, and continues to smash the car. THEN, HE OVERTURNS IT! YES! Torrie flees in terror, and Show walks off. Awesome. BIG SHOW IS NOT AN ANIMAL! BIG SHOW IS A HUMAN BEING!
Booker T vs. RVD: DROPKICK TO THE FACE by RVD! LEGDROP INTO THE RAMP! Let's go to commercial break!
Booker T vs. RVD (cont.): Booker T now has the advantage. NECKBREAKER by Booker T. KNEEDROP! BOOK END is foiled by RVD! Kicks galore! FLYING JUMP KICK by Van Dam! SPLIT-LEGGED MOONSAULT! ROLLING THUNDER! GERMAN SUPLEX by RVD! FIVE-STAR FROGSPLASH misses! RVD's hung up on the ropes, and Booker beats on him mercilessly, which causes a DQ. Now Booker does the SPINAROONI! RVD has a bloody nose.
Backstage: Big Show's gonna toss Torrie off a ledge! Kurt tries to talk Show out of it. Show CHOKESLAMS KURT OFF THE LEDGE! HE'S DEAD! And... we're out.
That's all for this week. Until then, Good Night, take care of yourselves, and this week's SmackDown! probably got mauled in the ratings by "The Apprentice" finale. DONALD TRUMP, IF YOU WEEL!
I love the PSA's, whether they're of Orton or JBL....Cena v.s Chavo was okay, not much to it. It got in all of Cena's signature spots, which the live crowd seemed to appreciate....Oh boy, Cafe du Rene. Not sure if this is the right way to get him over....Haas v.s Rico was entertaining, that's for sure. Haas is the perfect straight man (no pun intended) for this kind of match, too. What it does in the long run though, I'm not sure....
The vignettes look good for Mordecai, but as Sean O'Haire taught us, that really means little....Eddie v.s Big Show was slow and plodding, so much so that I channel surfed between that, The Apprentice, Kingdom Hospital and CSI. Whenever I switched back to the match, there was a resthold. Go fig....
Torrie needs to go with Kimberly to Hollywood to get some acting skills....Looks like the "My God, Please wear a Cup" club has another member to go with Orton and Rene: Mark Jindrak....Show destroys a car. Seen it before, and better- the last time, he pushed it over onto Bob Holly....The ME wasn't bad....Wow. That last segment was all style, no substance. Except, of course, the blood "gushing" from Kurt's head.
He is so fucking awful. His schilling and over selling and fake laughing and EVERYTHING about him is just so bad.
WWE needs to get rid of him and hire Joey Styles or even *shudder* Tony Schivane....
Or they could just use Al Snow.......
(edited by thebadguy on 16.4.04 1625) A 7 foot tall demented arson victim and part-time pyromaniac with science defying skin regeneration abilities and an intermittent ability to fire lightning bolts from his fingers. In his spare time he enjoys feuding with his dead brother. - dMr - The W.com
Speaking of announcing talent, anyone hear anything about Todd Grisham? He did a few backstage interviews and I have't seen him since. From what I've heard of him (which admittedly isn't too much) he's done well in other ventures in the past. I agree that anybody would be better than Cole, hopefully WWE starts giving this guy a shot on one of the lesser shows.
Marco: But we can chew nails and shoot 'em out as bullets, right? Quinn: Nails, chains -- you won't have titanium teeth for nothing. Murphy: Nails are like candy to robots! And we'll eat tires instead of licorice. Debbie: GAH! No we won't!! Murphy: Maybe YOU won't.
Originally posted by samoflangeSpeaking of announcing talent, anyone hear anything about Todd Grisham? He did a few backstage interviews and I have't seen him since. From what I've heard of him (which admittedly isn't too much) he's done well in other ventures in the past. I agree that anybody would be better than Cole, hopefully WWE starts giving this guy a shot on one of the lesser shows.
I saw him commentating on Heat the other day with the Coach. Maybe he has replaced Marc Lloyd. I for one hope he has because that Lloyd character did way too many hand movements for my liking.
(edited by thebadguy on 16.4.04 2011) A 7 foot tall demented arson victim and part-time pyromaniac with science defying skin regeneration abilities and an intermittent ability to fire lightning bolts from his fingers. In his spare time he enjoys feuding with his dead brother. - dMr - The W.com
Its annoying when all I can think of is "WHAT THE HECK, DO SOMETHING CAMERA MAN! YOU ARE RIGHT THERE! HELP!" Ahhh Suspension of Disbelief. Pretty good show altogther, the last segment was just all kind of weird. The "thud" sounded delayed. Somehow, its probably one of HHHs schemes. ("IT WAS ME ALL ALONG!")
Tazz is the greatest commentator ever, Cole is not. Cole just says "SMACKDOOOOOOWWWN" all the time.
Bradshaw gets a title match at a PPV, but Fifi gets NOTHING? Who else is outraged?
Am I the only one who thought Big Show rolled the car over on top of Torrie?
I love Bradshaw's gimmick, but I think it would've made more sense to pair him up with the US belt, since Bradshaw is the epitome of the US or whatever. That would keep him in the midcard as well. Oh well. It doesn't bother me too much thats he getting a title match, but if Bradshaw actually gets the belt... .Hopefully Judgment Day will have some other better matches. Maybe we can have Undead Kurt vs Undead Taker! RATINGS+
Originally posted by Peregrine Am I the only one who thought Big Show rolled the car over on top of Torrie? ... .Hopefully Judgment Day will have some other better matches. Maybe we can have Undead Kurt vs Undead Taker! RATINGS+
I thought the same thing, but was saddened after the commercial break to find Torri has skipped away. Much better than any of her verbal acting was the horror-movie-fall-in-the-middle-of-being-chased-by-a-bad-guy" moment.
Show rules when he's working with real talent.
Angle usually is gold on the mic, but his reaction to being told "Show has Torri on the ledge" was the worst I've ever seen him act. I guess that's why he deserved to be killed. Show totally ruled this episode, too bad he's quit...I guess this'll be one way to make sure he doesn't get a face reaction when he returns - but I'll be cheering my ass off..
The Great Thomas - put the crack down. Seriously, your dreams are even more messed-up than some of my "classics".
Welcome to another week of crappy television. Unbidden, the thought arose in my mind and leapt to my lips "When did Smackdown! turn into 'Thunder'?" I also wonder "Where the heck is Undertaker? He DID return at WM, right?" And then I think "Will it rain on Sunday? That would really suck."
Honestly, I cannot take seriously a show where Bradshaw (until a month ago part of a midcard tagteam) is getting the Main Event for a PPV. Let me predict that Judgement Day will be the lowest-drawing PPV of the year.
Y'know, in the suit, Kurt looks a lot like a Lex Luthor.
I usually ignore Rico stuff. But, this night, I was feeling generous. And, well, at least I got to shout "He's gonna hurl! HE'S GONNA HURL!"
Eddie vs. BigShow was a nice match. The first DDT that BigShow took was a "WOW" moment.
Jan the Makeup Lady is so lucky - she gets to be on BOTH shows. Unfortunately, on Smackdown! she's nothing more than a trouble-maker, instigating the whole BigShow/Torrie thing.
BigShow and Torrie was the uncomfortable moment fo the night. But I did laugh when Show took three punches, an edit, and then a kick to bust one of the car windows. Ha!
BookerT vs. RVD was okay, but not quite as good as Eddie vs. BigShow. The ending was a cop-out that they needed so the feud could continue. But, well, the match shouldn't have been booked this early in the first place.
Um, so was this another one of those nights where BigShow turns face, heel, and face again? Or are we supposed to feel sympathy for Kurt? Or should we just go "oooh"? I don't get it.
There was even more FOOTAGE! than usual tonight. Not that much of it was good the first time I saw it - and it didn't get better with time.
Overall: Why am I so down on Smackdown!? Because it used to be good and entertaining. Maybe it's the watching it on tape aspect. Maybe it's the poor storylines (the in-ring action is still high quality). I don't know. But I can say that lately, more often than not, Smackdown! has not been an entertaining program.
"ScreamingHeadGuy, don't fear the wang. Know the wang. Embrace the wang. BE the wang....." - heed the wisdom of DEAN
Originally posted by ScreamingHeadGuyUm, so was this another one of those nights where BigShow turns face, heel, and face again? Or are we supposed to feel sympathy for Kurt? Or should we just go "oooh"? I don't get it.
Yes, "oooh" is a fine reaction, and probably the intended one. C'mon, why make this so complicated? We haven't been limited to black and white heels since years ago . . . give them a break, it was fine, and what's more, you've only seen the beginning of the angle, so why judge it yet? GIve them a chance.
-Eddie/Layfield/Angle- Eddie says Kurt's asking him to apologize all week. But he won't because Kurt and Layfield are mean mean people. Layfield's PSA was pretty smart... Eddie want's a match tonight on Free TV, but no way gold like this has to be on PPV.
-Cena vs. Chavo- "Aye Chavo" interrupts Cena's rap, which is okay by me. Big Boot By Chavo SR. well not the Hogan type but the remove boot and swing type... Chavo Sr, bumps off the apron as Cena attacks him. Is the old man stealing this match, I THINK SO, Chavo Sr more interesting then the two guys wrestling but the two guys wrestling did an okay job.
-Rico vs. Haas- Rico stuff didn't really fly on Raw, why would they do the exact same thing on SD... Haas plays up really being a homophobe or maybe he just hates silly gimmicked up wrestlers, whatever the case Rico wins by countout via front of thong showing.
-Eddie vs. BigShow- BigShow put his buh gawd career on the line in this match... I thought the match was well played, props to BigShow for taking a nice looking tornado DDT.
-Jindrak vs. Spike- I don't want to get all Deanified but is that mirror like the one in my car that says "objects may appear closer(OR BIGGER) then they are". That was distracting... Spike becomes again squash meat, Jindrak hits a very high dropkick (as Bob Holly breaks stuff backstage, and wants to shoot on the kid).
-RVD vs. Booker- Some very good build to this match throughout the night. RVD NOT playing up to the crowd, he must be REALLY angry! Urh Did Cole just called a German suplex a belly to back, doesn't the guy even know his body parts? I liked this match, they both showed some good intensity and emotion. The DQ didn't even hurt the match IMO, RVD getting caught in the ropes with Booker continuing punching at him as RVD nose starts to bleed was good bait for me to be interested in where this feud is going.
-OtherStuff- What's with Fifi, she looks charcoaled. Did someone push her down a chimney or something, might not be the best sign that this dog is more over & interesting to me, then the majority of the SD roster... Mordecai with scary symbols(not a cross it's a symbol) I wonder if he and Undertaker will have a symbol vs. symbol match, maybe a symbol on a poll match... Nice clips hyping RVD/ Booker... BigShow replaces the word Mouth with pie-hole when talking to Layfield & Angle, oookay...
BigShow tells Layfield he's going to beat Eddie for himself not for anyone else... After Bigshow loses he thinks he hears Torrie laughing at him, he gets in her face & scares her so much that she leaves early(Torrie sure loves her job), does she just go to SD for the free makeup?... Torrie going into her car but there's BigShow as he breaks her windshields as she freaks out about her car(Calm down Torrie, don't you have insurance if not serves you right. I just saved a bunch of money changing to GEICO). Torrie does Joey Styles (not that way) by screaming OH MY GOD a billion times in a 2-minute segment... The genius that is Torrie somehow is caught UP ON A LEDGE!(Umm why did she climb up there?). You gotta love Angle, not really worried about Torrie, just that he'll be held responsible LoL.
-Line of the Night: COLE: "Belly to back suplex"... TAZZ "That's a german suplex" -3Stars of the Night: 1)BigShow. 2)RVD. 3)Booker.
The show wasn't that bad, The two main matches (main event, Eddie/BigShow) was decent enough. I liked what BigShow was doing in his skits after he lost, well except the last one which is way too stupid... Unless next week Kurt Angle is fine and says "See look I took a huge fall of a ledge and one week later I'm here, I'm moving fine, (starts jumping around) I don't need to take months off with a U2 theme music for my return"
Hey, throw in Ray Guy (he's the best ever at his position, so he ought to be in the NFL Hall) and Wynonie Harris (a figure of absolutely immense importance in early rock music inexplicably not in the Rock Hall) as well. B^)