I'm so happy! I just found my digital camcorder buried in my closet! Joy! Oh yeah, the recap. It's time for The Great Thomas SmackDown! Report!
Paul Heyman's SmackDown!: Brock's not gonna show up tonight. However, Eddie Guerrero will be defending his title against Chavo Guerrero... with a special referee!
Kurt Angle: He's out to congratulate the new WWE Champion. But here's John Cena with a bum knee. He's out to mock Kurt's overall whiteyness. He's here to work the crowd, "West Coast Style". He then insults Kurt, prompting a shoving match between the two. Paul Heyman appears on the Ovaltron, and makes a tag match. It's Cena and Angle vs. the Basham Brothers!
YJ Stinger: Now that Eddie's the champion, he gets to drink the bees!
Angle/Cena vs. Basham Bros.: Shaniqua's not with the Bashams, since Rikishi killed her at No Way Out. Cena hits a BLUE THUNDER BOMB! Angle accidentaly knocks Cena off the apron, causing the two to get into another shoving match. Let's go to commercial break!
Angle/Cena vs. Basham Bros. (cont.): Doug works on Cena's injured knee. Now Danny works on it. Holy shit, Cena is wearing wristbands with 1-UP Mushrooms on them! You can buy those exact wristbands at Hot Topic! Angle hits the ANGLE SLAM! But Danny fights out of the Anklelock. Cena tags in, and hits the F-U for the win!
WrestleMania Recall: Roddy Piper blasts Mr. Downey
In The Arena: A giant statue of Canadian Bulldog.
Heyman: Rey's in his office to request a rematch. Heyman grants it to him, saying if Chavo wins the WWE Title, Rey gets to challenge for the WWE Title as well!
Eddie Guerrero's Championship Celebration: It's raining Mexican Flag-colored confetti and balloons as Eddie comes in through the crowd. Whoa, even fireworks! It's literally RAINING confetti! Let's go to commercial break!
Eddie Guerrero's Championship Celebration (cont.): The usual celebration speech, only with more "ORALE, HOLMES!" and "ESSE, VATO!" Ha, he even stole the balloons! But here comes Los Chavos to crash Eddie's party! Chavo's mad since Eddie got a big party and he didn't. Chavo reveals the special referee for their match: Chavo Sr! I knew it.
Big Show vs. Holly: Stiff strikes galore! Holly hits a TOP-ROPE LEGDROP! Big Show wins via AAAAATHECHOKESLAAAAM! Afterwards, Cena appears and challenges Big Show for the US Title at WrestleMania XX... and Big Show accepts!
Brock Lesnar: Sign: "LESNAR YOUR NEXT". My next what? Brock's literally crying over his lost title. He says Eddie won only because he took advantage of Goldberg's interference. He begs Mr. McMahon ON HIS KNEES, PRAYING AS IF MR. MCMAHON WAS GOD ALMIGHTY, to give him Goldberg at WrestleMania!
Burger King: Some fatass is the Burger Champion!
Torrie & Sable: They continue to whore themselves out to horny males everywhere.
Meanwhile, on RAW: Undertaker's Ghost made it rain on Blue Man Kane. Hey, that rhymes.
Backstage: ONOES! Chavo Sr has been attacked! Also, why is he counting to four?
Kurt Angle: Heyman runs up to Kurt, and makes him the Special Referee! I hope he doesn't count to four!
Chavo the Younger vs. Guerrero: Eddie's lowrider bounces like crazy. Eddie takes advantage of Kurt's ineptitude to get some choking done on Chavo. Eddie locks in a ROMERO SPECIAL! Chavo hits 3 VERTICAL SUPLEXES, but Eddie counters Chavo's FROGSPLASH! BUTWAIT! Chavo Sr. is out to stake his claim as referee. Eddie hits the 3 VERTICAL SUPLEXES! Senior pulls Junior out of the way of Eddie's Frog splash! Rey Mysterio runs out and neutralizes Chavo Sr! Let's go to commercial break!
Quiznos Sub: "WE LIKE THE MOOOOON!" I ask you: Do ugly singing hamsters really make you hungry for subs?
Chavo the Younger vs. Guerrero (cont.): Chavo works on Eddie's knee. DEATHLOCK W/ BRIDGE by Chavo! Ewww... Eddie's pec is bladed! TOP-ROPE HEADSCISSORS by Eddie! But Chavo kicks out! TOP-ROPE SUPERPLEX by Eddie! POWERBOMB! FROGSPLASH! But Kurt won't count the pin! Kurt attacks! OMG HEEL TURN! "You're a stupid b****, Eddie Guerrero!" Eddie's been busted open! Kurt hits the ANGLE SLAM! Rey tries to make the save, but Kurt powerbombs and tosses him out of the ring! Kurt lays a few more blows on Eddie, and holds the Championship upside down! BELTSHOT to Eddie! And... we're out.
That's all for this week. Until then, Good Night, take care of yourselves, and if anyone needs me, tough. I'll be playing Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga. MARIO & LUIGI, MOTHERLOVERS!
In his Room of Fun, Heyman, in black suit, blue shirt and gold/black tie, announces that Lesnar won't be in the arena tonight. And he books Eddie vs. Chavo, with a Special Guest Referee.
It's my life, my time, my rights, my rhyme. It's Sssssmackdown!, from Fresno, CA...and a Fashion Report, too!
Angle, in a sleeveless blue "Freedom of Choice" tshirt, his singlet thereunder, with gold medals, is out to speak. He talks-up Eddie. Then Cena, in yellow sleeveless Athletics jersey (#9 - Jackson), backwards cap, denim shorts, and lock 'n chain (with his kneebrace), is out to make fun of Angle and cheerlead for Eddie. Physicality almost ensues, but Heyman appears on the screen to break it up. Heyman then books Cena and Angle vs. the Bashams.
So THAT'S how Eddie won - he drank some YJ Stinger.
Cena, in the same, and Angle, in shiny red "A" singlet, vs. Bashams, both in black leather pants. Hebner wears the blue pinstriped shirt of the referee. Soon the faces fall to squabbling. Adbreak takes this opportunity to do a run-in.
Cont. The heels work over Cena's injured left knee. FU->pin on Danny. A nice match.
Stills from Chavo vs. Rey at No Way Out.
AH! It's a...Californian Bulldog. Who would win - Californian or CANADIAN?
In Heyman's Room of Fun, Dawn Marie-Wilson, in a shreaded turquoise outfit, introduces Rey. Rey wants a rematch for the CW Title; Heyman gives it to him, next week.
Eddie, through the crowd, in black "WrestleMania XX" tshirt and black "Latino" tights with green/yellow/blue flames, carrying the WWE Title, with ticker-tape and balloons. The fans cheer a lot. That's the whole segment.
Eddie is still in the ring, and the fans are still cheering. Cheering his name. (And popping balloons.) In between the fans going nuts, Eddie speaks a few words (at least half of which I can understand). But Chavo, in sleeveless black "Viva La Raza" tshirt, black bandanna, and blue tights with green splats, wearing the CW Title, with Chavo Sr., in black suit, blue shirt, and tie, interrupt. And it is announced that Chavo Sr. is the Special Referee for the match.
BigShow, in one-strap black singlet, the US Title on his shoulder, vs. Holly, in black/neon-green/blue "Hardcore Holly" fullcut undies. Nick Patrick is the official. Wait - is this only the second match? Post-match, Cena is out to rap a challenge to BigShow. Show accepts - book a US Title match at WrestleMania XX.
In the back, Josh reports that Brock has been sighted.
FOOTAGE! of Brock and Goldberg interacting at No Way Out.
Presently, Brock, in black sleeveless "Off the Hook Pain" tshirt and black warmups does a limping strut down to the ring to give the "whiny heel" spiel.
In Chavo's locker room, the Chavos bond.
FOOTAGE! of Kane's promo from this past week's Raw, and all the supernatural shenanigans that ensued (man, is that a retractable roof stadium?).
In the back, Heyman arrives on the scene to find Chavo Sr. punked-out. Angle is on the scene to add "whodunit".
In the back, Heyman catches-up with Angle, who is summarily deputized as the Main Event's Special Guest Referee.
Chavo, in the same as before, vs. Eddie, in the same as before (but this time wearing the WWE Title), driving a maroon lowrider with hydraulics. Kurt Angle wears the blue shirt of the referee. Mid-match Chavo Sr. comes out, interfering. Then Rey appears to neutralize Chavo Sr. Then gobs of blue-shirted officials pull-away Rey. Meanwhile, the guys involved in the match are down in the ring. Adbreak just waltzes in.
Cont. Chavo is now in charge. Eddie bleeds from the chest; Chavo bleeds from the neck (ear?). Frogsplash -> cover. But Kurt won't count; he gets that evil shit-eatin' grin on his face before he takes it to Eddie, finally turning heel. A good match - call it a no-contest in the records, though. Post-match, Eddie's forehead is busted open as Angle continues to violence him. Rey tries to make the save, but Kurt dispatches him, too...handily. The maniacal look on Angle's face is so great.
Overall: Wow - holy lack of matches, Batman! Still, the storytelling around Angle and Eddie was pretty dang good. An okay show.
Edit: Holy bold, The Great Thomas! And, man, we've gotta stop thinking the same things. Or at least we've got to write them differently.
(edited by ScreamingHeadGuy on 19.2.04 2103)
Fashion Reporter Extraordinaire
Fear not the future. For that is where your dreams will come true.
Nice Angle/Cena bit at the beginning, to put over the U.S. title match and Eddie's win....Bashams? Bah, I thought he'd announce TWGTT as Cena and Angle's opponents. Decent enough match. So much for the Bashams going away following Shaniqua's demotion....Awesome celebration for Eddie's title win. Predictably, Chavo comes out to wine, though I don't have a BIG problem with that....Hey, Big Show won! That may be one of the few times I'd actually WANTED him to win....
What's with Cena and "frickin'"? That's not edgy....Wasn't Orlando Jordan around last week when Angle was attacked? I say he did it!!....Cool Lesnar interview. Of course, on his knees, looking up to the heavens and praying to--Vince? Yeah, I guess that makes sense....Good main event match. Man, that look in Angle's eyes was creepy. Decent beat-down, too. It's interesting how he just KNEW Paul would pick him to be ref after Chavo Sr. was knocked out.
Personally, while I am indeed horrified at the Quiznos singing hamsters, I'm a good deal more offended at the lies that the government pays WWE to plaster all over their commercial breaks. They friggin' light cigars with the hundred-dollar-bills that the alcohol industry dumps on them when it kills thousands a year and marijuana has killed 0, EVER ... sorry, I tend to get on a soapbox when my allegedly-elected officials use my tax dollars to tell me things I know aren't true.
Anyway, I enjoyed Smackdown! more than I did TNA this week. Shows you how off TNA was on Wendesday. I totally dig Eddie as the champ, and it's great to see Angle as a heel again. But WTF was up with the total silence from the announcers during the beatdown? I can't see Tazz being that shocked about ANYTHING, much less Angle turning heel again.
Nice job by the announce crew on the show's ending beatdown/heel turn, which they largely handled by just keeping quiet. Great main, made up for the mostly promo show that reminded me of ECW programs when they'd come close to the end of the month and run out of matches to show. In any case, Heel Angle equals Happy Me.
The first thought of those watching Eddie's celebration with me..."EDDIE'S NOT FROM MEXICO!" My first thought..."When did Eddie join the Full Blooded Italians?"
I could have gone my whole life without seeing that Eddie YJ-Stinger commercial. I wonder if HHH will have anything to say about his bees jumping to the other show.
For the record, the Quiznos commercial where the hamsters' last line is "THEY GOT A PEPPER BAR" cracks me up every time.
Angle's singlet kinda looked like a cut-out condom.
Okay, so which show IS Undertaker going to be on, anyway?
Good job by Paul Heyman proving they can beat Raw once again, by having an even more anticlimactic ending than Mick Foley walking out on his match with Orton back in December. Couldn't Angle have at least ended it by admitting to the sneak attacks over the past few weeks? (And what better way to bring Edge back than to have him explaining that Angle attacked him as well when he was taken out at No Way Out last year?)
I was expecting Chavo Sr. to be refereeing the match in Chavito's favor only to be taken out by Mando or Hector. And as good as Tazz usually is at calling odd moves, I was begging for Josh to run down and smack him for not calling the Gory Special and ignoring the significance of it. I can forgive the occasional missed call, but not one that could add even more drama to and already great match.
And The Great Thomas hasn't beaten Mario & Luigi's Superstar Saga yet? I beat that game a week before it was released! (Great game, though.)
Now that's how you do a beatdown. Way more brutal and way more effective than the Foley beatdown of doom on Monday. And ScreamingHeadGuy, how could you miss the Mario 1-up Mushroom sweatbands that Cena was sporting?
-Angle/Cena interview- Kurt Angle comes out and wants to give some love to the new WWE champion Eddie Guerrero, hip hip hooray. John Cena comes out and makes fun of Angle intentions, which actually got everyone's favorite thug some negativity. I guess this town likes their rappers to not make fun of others, that's mean LoL... Some intense words and looks by the two as Heyman's head shows up on the big screen. He's going to make a match with Angle AND Cena vs. VERSUS! ahhh the Bashams.
-Cena/Angle vs. Basham Bros. - The Bashams worked on Cena's leg alot. Angle keeps crashing into Cena, at times falling on Cena's leg to build tension between them... Nice drop kick out of no where by Angle. Angle goes for the anklelock but gets reversed and pushed into Cena who makes the tag and hits the FU for the win.
-Eddie/Chavo's interview- Big celebration for the NEW WWE Champion, pyro, balloons, confetti, the works. Crowd is responding big time (nice concept let the fans reaction help who's on top)... Chavo's come out and Chavito is not all too happy with Eddie AGAIN getting all the attention, Where's my balloons, Eddie gives him one(HAHA). Chavo said enjoy this while you can because tonight it will be Chavo night because the special referee will be Chavo Sr.
-BigShow vs. BobHolly- They hyped out their last meeting as Bob Holly choked out BigShow with the chair, they say this isn't a Hardcore match so it might be a disadvantage to Holly (what can't he wrestle?). Holly's missile drop kick has the aim of an Iraqi missile which BigShow pushes aside a chokeslam later and a 3count for BigShow in under 3-minutes... Cue John Cena again who challenged BigShow at Wrestlemania which BigShow accepts.
-Lesner interview- I've always thought Lesner was one of the worst interviews in the E but I think he did a very interesting job here. From my eyes, he comes off as this major pampered jock who looks down at people who's not from his ilk. Crying how Eddie cheated and stole his belt, crying that Bill Goldberg ruined it for him even though Lesner himself was the one who called him out... Crying how rough he has it and how he doesn't deserve that because he's an All American and he should get everything he wants and be above every other student err wrestler. I think it fits him pretty well. Probably sounds like a lot of all star football players in major colleges.
-Eddie vs. Chavo-Very nice 16-minute main event, MOTN. Chavo is really becoming a nice little heel here, loved how he did the Eddie triple suplex with the hip twist just like Eddie to heel heat from the crowd. Eddie had a little cut on his chest while it seems like Chavo was bleeding from the ear area. This match had a great flow, even though you'd know that Eddie wouldn't lose the title the action itself certainly was good enough to keep the interest. A no finish, which I never like but I guess I understand... Kurt turns heel as I called it & I agree with you Tenken, THAT is how you do a beatdown. Precise, intense & impactful. Not what Randy & Co. did on Raw which was mostly stalling & repetitive. Man did Angle look glazy eyed while doing it(which was fantastic). He looked totally ripped even more then usual. How about Rey coming in trying the Westcoast pop as Angle stops him mid move & hits a strong powerbomb.
-OtherStuff- Torrie and Sable are meating fans, nope not a type-o... Josh looks scared backstage cause a wild 295 pound Lesner is on the loose... Heyman gives Rey a match vs. Chavo for next week, if Chavo becomes WWE champion that title would be on the line too, surprised they didn't play this more up as who Rey would be cheering for Eddie or Chavo.... The Chavo's are planing backstage a big celebration after they win... But Chavo Sr. is attacked backstage NOOO, not senior! Does Orlando Jordan have anything better to do then roam the halls during the show... Kurt gives a strange line to Heyman "You think it's Eddie don't you?" I don't think anyone thought it was Eddie, Kurt is a sneaky one. Heyman makes Kurt take Senior place and be special referee, I agree only an Olympic gold medallist can take the place of the great Chavo Sr.
-Line of the Night: CHAVO "Who sucks now".. CROWD "Yooooou" -Sign of the Night: "Eddie is a MexiCAN not a MexiCAN'T" - I loved the cheesiness of that! -3Stars of the night: 1)Eddie. 2)Kurt. 3)Brock - Chavo certainly gets consideration as well.
Even though there was only 3 matches in two hours and only one that I thought was really good, I enjoyed the show alot. The freshness of Eddie Guerrero WWE champion I'm really digging. Brock Lesner character right now seems more interesting without the title then with it (hint hint HHH) and did a very unusual yet interesting speech. It's cool to see the official Kurt turn after sensing it for months, even though I probably wouldn't have done it like that (special ref/stop counting scenario) Kurt and Eddie themselves made the beatdown payoff an eye catcher. I found the 2 hour show moved along very well and kept my interest throughout.
smark/net attack wienerville advisory is lowered to BLUE alert - Guarded (Due to Eddie being WWE champ and facing Angle at WM, Benoit winning the Rumble in World title match in mania BUT Kliq members is still a threat - Vince you can save us from these threats) 2/17
Honors for Smartest thing ever written, 5th Horseman "When Victoria, Trish, Molly, and Lilian were in the ring.. I commented to my friends that all of the 4 ladies in the ring were hotter than the all 4 that are fighting over who is the hottest in the WWE"
(Has Whataburger always had a local ad spot just before the beginning of SmackDown? Homage to "W of the Week"!!)
Paul Heyman is so good. He really gets a lot crammed into an "address the camera" segment, but keeps it moving right along. "Paul Heyman's SmackDown." Paul *suggested* to Brock that he not appear, because he's so emotional. I wonder if Paul will be a bit miffed with Brock for coming out anyway, going over Paul's head, & appealing directly to a higher authority. Paul conveys his less-than-thrill over Eddie being the new champion. ("As impossible as it may be to believe.") The evil smirk over assigning a "very special guest referee". Good stuff.
Kurt's promo ostensibly putting over Eddie's win was fun, added to the party, & added to the turn. How about his smirky little comment about "I always knew that Eddie Guerrero had what it took to pin Brock Lesnar's ass, & win the WWE championship. I always knew." Hmmm. :-)
Kurt's got a plan. Paul's got an agenda. Eddie's running on emotion. Chavito's running on neurosis. And Cena's just here to be a nuisance. When exactly did this become the thinking person's wrestling show? :-)
"Are the 2 of you trying to usurp my authority?"
Where are all the conspiracy theorists? In Eddie's "Drink Your Bees" commercial, as he's driving off at the end, you can clearly see that the lowrider has a "Klique" car club emblem over the back seats. Hence his push. Right? :-)
Kurt's new singlet maybe isn't the best look for his tush, but it certainly does showcase his furry-furry chest. Speaking of which -- were Kurt's abs more 6-pack'd than ever-ever before? And a little extra tan besides. Wooo! (Gotta portend a heel turn!)
Back to Heyman working his agenda. "If Chavo beats Eddie then I'll give you [Rey] your rematch, & a World Title shot. But now that you've got a vested interest in Chavo winning tonight, I've gotta ask you to take the rest of the night off. Deal?" "Deal." "Oh, & Rey, trust me." Paul just can't get a guy to take the night off, can he? Now Paul's gonna be miffed at Rey too! (Why can't the kids just cooperate!)
Eddie gets a party. Coming through the audience makes him the people's champ (no gimmick infringement intended). And he hardly even got swamped by the crowd til he got down to the floor. There was a goodly part of the party that also had Tazz & Cole saying nothing. That was so effective.
"Hey, what's all this fuss about? Me?" Nice. And I adored Eddie offering Chavito a balloon. Eddie's little "Hey, they love me, I can' help that" smile is priceless.
Brock was so good! That was the last attitude I ever would have expected from him, & he did it very effectively. Lovely self-deluded sadness. Good crescendo into anger at Goldberg. Loved the praying to a higher authority (Vince). That's about the ultimate appeal that one could make to Vince's ego.
Now the Undertaker is on the SD magazine cover. Is anybody else concerned that the Undertaker return angle is too overexposed already? I *hope* they've got a plan that doesn't leave the whole thing kinda anti-climactic. (I'm concerned, but hanging onto a wait-&-see.)
"Wait a minute. I know that look. Don't even think it. Eddie Guerrero did not do this, Paul." I fell off the sofa at that. :-) "You know somethin'? It could be you next. It could be you next, Paul." Splendid veiled threat, with diversionary tactic!! Kurt is on a roll!
Paul's got the commercial break to absorb that, & form a replan. Force Kurt's hand by making him the referee. Back to you to rework your plan, Kurt.
Nice match with Chavito vs. Eddie. Maybe not their technical best together, but very good, & excellent story details.
Innnnteresting Rey run-ins. Is he going to end up with more investiture than just Eddie's friend, & general do-gooder?
Superb turn by Kurt. The crazed blue eyes, & well-done beatdown. Now we get to go back to earnestly telling Kurt that he sucks. :-)
Tazz & Cole saying nothing. Then being very subdued & shocked when they finally did. That was beautiful. The crowd was certainly doing their part as well. Good stuff all around.
On one hand I'm very suprised at how much entertainment value I got from so little wrestling. But I can't help but wonder how the rest of the roster is doing. I count a total of 9 wrestlers on the whole show, out of the 30-some on the roster. Hopefully, maybe, most of them really got the night off, rather than having to hang around to do nothing. Or else this is going to be one kick-ass Velocity. (Haven't looked at the spoilers.)
Originally posted by emmaKurt's got a plan. Paul's got an agenda. Eddie's running on emotion. Chavito's running on neurosis. And Cena's just here to be a nuisance. When exactly did this become the thinking person's wrestling show? :-)
emma, this may very well be a quote of the year candidate Nicely done!
Originally posted by emma Are the 2 of you trying to usurp my authority?"
First Paul references the sword of Damocles, now he uses the word "usurp"....thinking person's wrestling show indeed!
There's nothing I can say that hasn't already been said in this thread--I thought SD was extremely entertaining. And Eddie Guerrero has shown us what it truly means to be the people's champion.
“You can ask God and others for all the help you want, but you better bring the shovel because you’ve got to do the work.” --WWE Champion Eddie Guerrero
It is a little late, but I just finished watching. I got the mourning of my dalmatian behind me and ready to go full speed.
I'm not going to say much about most of the "action," because it has already been recapped. However, I will say something about some of them.
1. Angle/Cena vs. Bashams - OK, guess without Shaniqua, or Linda Miles, or whoever she gets reincarnated when (or if) she returns, the Bashams would end up turning to semi-jobber status, in my opinion.
2. Eddie speech turning into confrontation of Eddie/Chavo - it just took so long for Eddie to get started. Isn't it nice to have a champion that is not the image of what Vince McMahon thinks is his champion (i.e. big). I had to laugh at what Chavo said about not having a celebration for his win. I just say, "You get my thanks." Yeah, especially beating Mysterio.
3. Show/Holly - man, that match did not last long.
4. Lesnar speaks - my mind was thinking when he went on his knees talking to Vince, "He's the higher power."
5. Eddie/Chavo - anyway, did I hear the four worst words a wrestling fan could ever hear together..."Kemper Arena, Kansas City." Nuff said. Nice match but the expected ending when it was known that Angle was the referee. What happened to poor Chavo. One minute he's ok, the next time I look up, there's blood all over his ear. When I heard the cheering during the attack on Eddie, my first thought was was "Cena." Then I see Mysterio on the top rope and I thought "Augh, why him." I would like to take a different spin on the Angle turn by way of the announcers. Cole/Tazz - I really enjoyed them being silent. It gave a feel of them being like "a casual viewer", because those that just watch the shows, but don't check out the internet sites, that would be the feeling of the casual viewers. They hardly interrupted and made the actions the focal point. If this would have been RAW, you would be hearing nothing but 5 minutes of JR/King blabbing everything in the world against Angle, probably ending with "Why Kurt, Why." They would be talking about it through every match the next week. We'll see how much Cole/Tazz will talk about it next week.
I really don't mind watching them. Some of the matches are okay, and I just can't get enough jobbers. I know I'm in the minority, but I love the Cat on commentary on Velocity. When he said "We got Funaki, we got DeMott- this is my favorite show!