For Christmas, I bought my friends a lot of nice gifts. However, the most expensive one had to be a $50 Millenium Falcon from Toys 'R' Us. It was for my Mom's friend's son. Go ahead, tell me I'm an idiot. The kid loved it though...
It's time for the last The Great Thomas SmackDown! Report of the year!
Mr. Long: He wants to thank us fans for our constant support this year by giving us the 2004 Night of Champions. Tonight, all four champion will defend their titles against opponents of their choice.
John Cena: The belt spins. From now on, Cena's fans are to be referred to as "The Chain Gang". He goes into the crowd and proceeds to hug the fans and give them his shirt. René Duprée comes out and declares himself Cena's opponent for tonight. Cena accepts the challenge, and IT'S ON!
Cena vs. Duprée: SUPLEX by Cena! And ANOTHER! Cena then proceeds to put on Duprée's robe and dances the FRENCH TICKLER! FIVE-KNUCKLE SHUFFLE! Cena pumps up, but René bails the ring. Cena tosses Duprée back in, but Duprée goes back on the offensive! Cena misses the FLYING CROSSBODY! René dances the FRENCH TICKLER! Cena makes a comeback! Cena pumps up again... F-U! 1.. 2.. 3! We'll call this a squash.
Backstage: JBL and Amy are WALKING! Amy encounters Joy, and the two tell each other that they are fat. JBL scolds Joy, but Big Show gets in his way. JBL tells Big Show he's not afraid of him. Show dares him to prove it by putting the title on the line against him tonight.
Kurt Angle Invitational: Kurt gives JBL his propers and says he's the best candidate to challenge JBL tonight. He then calls out the hometown hero. His name: Matt Stryker. Kurt then CHEAPSHOTS Stryker with the mic, and the match begins!
Angle vs. Stryker: Kurt rakes Stryker's eyes. Stryker's busted open. Mat wrestling. Kurt locks in the ANKLELOCK! Stryker taps!
Backstage: Rey Mysterio and RVD are discussing their opponents for tonight. At that moment, Booker T and Eddie Guerrero walk in. They say that since JBL won't want to challenge either of them tonight, they might as well ask Mysterio and RVD for a shot against their title.
IraqDown!: Heidenreich bailed out on Undertaker. So Taker and Heidenreich will have a match of Taker's choice at Royal Rumble.
Locker Room: Daniel Puder is WALKING! He gets dressed. Bob Holly walks in, and tells Puder that just because he won a contest, doesn't give make him somebody like all the other Superstars who trained their whole lives. Puder simply blows him off.
GM Room: JBL, Orlando, and Amy walk in. JBL tells Mr. Long that he will choose his opponent out of a fishbowl full of names. He pulls one out. He seems reluctant when he sees who it is, but then decides to wrestle the chosen opponent.
JBL vs. ?????: JBL announces the opponent he pulled out of the fishbowl: SHANNON MOORE!
JBL vs. Moore: Powerbomb, Clothesline from Hell, Pin. FIVE STAR MATCH! Afterwards, Mr. Long comes out and... let's go to commercial break!
When We Come Back...: Mr. Long asks to see the fishbowl. JBL accuses him of being a liar. Amy tries to flee with the fishbowl, but Joy appears, and NAILS her with the fishbowl! GRATUITOUS PANTY SHOT! The ref separates the two, and Mr. Long inspects the names. They all say Shannon Moore. Mr. Long then says that at the Royal Rumble, JBL will defend his title against Kurt Angle! Angle comes out and the two exchange angry words and accuse each other of lying. But Mr. Long interrupts and says that it isn't a one-on-one match, but a Triple Threat match! At the Royal Rumble, it will be JBL vs. Kurt Angle vs. Big Show! Show comes out and motions that he wants the belt.
Backstage: Carlito Cool accuses Mr. Long of making unfair desicions. Carlito's New Year's resolution is to put an end to Theodore Long as General Manager.
Heidenreich: He says he is not afraid of the Undertaker. He says he spared the Undertaker last week. He fears no man. At that point, the lights go out, and the disembodied voice of the Deadman tells Heidenreich that at the Royal Rumble, Heidenreich will rest in peace. At that point, Taker's druids drag out a casket to ringside. Heidenreich inspects it, and Taker pops out! Heidenreich goes into convulsions. Cole says Taker may have already chosen his match for the Royal Rumble.
Backstage: Josh Mathews interviews Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns. They say they will be tonight's challengers for the Tag Titles. The Basham Brothers appear and say that they will be the challengers. Booker T and Eddie walk by and make their claim to the Tag Titles.
Funaki vs. Spike: Spike's goatee has reached Tyson Tomko-esque proportions. ONE-ARM TOP-ROPE SLAM by Spike! BODY SLAM! Spike misses THE STOMP! Spike rams Funaki into the apron. Back in the ring. HARD ENZIGURI by Funaki! BULLDOG! Funaki wins via SUNSET FLIP!
Creed: The IraqDown! "Higher" montage.
Axe: Women make love to various metal objects.
Backstage: Three women introduce themselves to John Cena. They play with his spinny belt.
RAW Rebound: Beat the Clock. Shawn Michaels has an epileptic seizure. Oh, wait, that's just his dancing.
Backstage: Josh Mathews interviews RVD and Rey. They announce that their opponents for tonight will be Booker T and Eddie Guerrero!
Royal Rumble: The West Side Story commercial. Great fun. I can't get that song out of my head now.
Mysterio/RVD vs. Booker T/Guerrero: Interviews of Booker and Eddie's experience in Iraq. Eddie and Rey start it off. ARMDRAG by Mysterio! MONKEY FLIP! Eddie tags out. DROPKICK to Booker T! Tag to RVD. CROSSBODY by RVD! BACKDROP by Booker! BODYSLAM by RVD! THE 420! Eddie SLINGSHOTS Mysterio out of the ring! Let's go to commercial break!
Mysterio/RVD vs. Booker T/Guerrero (cont.): SUPLEX/FLIPOVER SPLASH COMBO by Booker and Eddie! BIZARRE SUBMISSION by Guerrero! Cole's voice changes for some reason. It happens every week. ARMLOCK by Eddie! TORNADO DDT by Mysterio! NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX by RVD! FIVE-STAR FROGSPLASH! JUMPING BOOT by Booker T! THREE AMIGOS by Eddie! SLEEPER HOLD by Booker. BOOK END! But Mysterio breaks up the pin! SPRINGBOARD SENTON by Mysterio! TOP-ROPE HURRACANRANA! 6-1-9! WEST COAST POP is foiled! SCISSORS KICK! But the ref is knocked out! Eddie ponders cheating his way to victory. He makes it look like Rey hit Eddie with the belt, but the ref catches him! Mysterio wins via rollup while Eddie and the ref are arguing. Afterwards, all four men share a hearty sitcom laugh. And.. we're out.
That's all for this year. Until then, Good Night, take care of yourselves, and have a Happy New Year!
(edited by The Great Thomas on 30.12.04 1901) FIRST EVER "W of the Day"! (4/12/04)
Eddie was hilarious when getting caught by the ref. The ending looked screwed up (Eddie throwing Rey onto the ropes, as he was struggling and there was an obvious edit), but the rest of the match was all good.
Yeah, I noticed the back of Rob's singlet, which said "I'M OVER". I was suprised that WWE would allow him to wear that.
The rest of the show was pretty much "take it or leave it". Nothing outright bad, but nothing exciting either. The last half hour was really good, though.
The answer to WWE's financial problems...
Never 'Wiener of the Day', and is actually quite bitter about it.
I also noticed RVD's tights and was a bit confused by the meaning. Could it mean I'm Over as in over with the crowd(which he always has been)..or does it have to do with his push being over. I'm Over. Probably the first. Anyway, here's my SD thoughts.
-Cena's belt is awesome(can I touch it...never mind)by the way was Cena beating up a coffee machine backstage.
-why did Funaki's opponent have to be Spike. Okay, now move on. I'm foaming at the mouth to see Funaki vs. Akio and also would like to see a four way with Chavo, Kidman and Londan.
-speaking of Akio,Kidman and Chavo...where the hell were they?(okay, I know the answer and yes, I'll be watching Velocity).
-also, why does it always have to be Shannon Moore...what's wrong with jobbing Nunzio out once here and there? (even though I suspected Moore in the back of my mind I thought JBL was being legit with the fishbowl and drew Orlando's name.)
-lastly..who were all those broads bs pheaning over Cena's belt ? ( PS Amy is HOT!!!HOT!!!HOT!!!)
I liked the Eddie-Rey fake beltshot bit as well, although I think it was MUCH funnier when Chris Jericho did it on Nitro way back when to try to get counted out to retain his title. What I didn't understand here, though, was why Eddie would want to win by DQ. Did I miss a stip that said the titles could change hands on a DQ or was this just a hole in his logic?
Does anyone else think that one of these weeks Shannon Moore will actually come out and BEAT someone to gain a little respect?....no, I didn't think so. On the bright side, this is the first match that JBL has won cleanly since the last time he fought a cruiserweight. Way to put your long-running champion over, WWE.
Not a bad edition of Smackdown this week. Does this mean that neither Undertaker or Heidenreich will be in the Rumble itself? The Rumble is basically the only chance that WWE has to put Heidenreich in a match where his crappiness can actually be somewhat hidden.
And I said that the Rumble/West Side Story print ad was dumb when it first came out, but I must admit, that TV spot is pretty funny. I think what cinches it for me is the ultra-serious looks on Benoit and Batista while they're wearing those ridiculous hairpieces, topped off by Rey with a mask on under his wig. It could only have been better if they were all wearing Vinnie Mac-style wigs.
I'm interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She's a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? While thinking about that, can I ask another? My Chief of Staff Leo McGarry insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or is it okay to call the police? Here's one that's really important because we've got a lot of sports fans in this town: touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean. Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? Think about those questions, would you? One last thing: while you may be mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the Ignorant Tight-Ass Club, in this building, when the President stands, nobody sits." --- President Jed Bartlett, The West Wing
WWE TITLE: JBL [c] vs. Angle vs. Big Show GRUDGE MATCH: Undertaker vs. Heidenreich
Odds are Smackdown will get one more match. Expect one of the three other titles to be defended. Probably not the Cruiserweight. It's either the Tag Team or US Title. I'm guessing the Bashams facing Flying High for the tag belts.
ROYAL RUMBLE (assuming nobody does double duty): -Daniel Puder [Confirmed; #1] -There's gonna be 14 others: I'm guessing Booker T, Eddie Guerrero, Spike Dudley, Funaki, Orlando Jordan, Paul London, Rene Dupree, Mark Jindrak, Kenzo Suzuki, Luther Reigns, John Cena, Hardcore Holly, Charlie Haas & Billy Kidman
"Illusions, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money...or candy!" - G.O.B. Bluth, Arrested Development
"IM OVER" as RVD's costume said- Yup, its true! RVD! RVD! RVD! The crowd was on Rob's side the whole time, just like I've always been- why wont they push him dammit?! I dont care what anyone says, its not too late. RVD is more over than JBL and I dont think I've even seen him challenge the WWE Championship or the U.S. once (but then, I have bad memory)
So far I've been happy with them at least putting the tag belt on him and Mysterio, who are my favorite team right now. Their match again Eddie and Booker was very good too. There is a lot the WWE can do with The Whole F'n Show, and still he sits on the mid-card. (come on, the whole freakin arena was cheering RVD! RVD! the whole time- add to that Rob's blatant message on his new tights and the WWE has got to notice they have something there.) Maybe I just want him to get a push cause Im such a big fan, who knows...
I missed a lot of Smackdown, but luckily I checked in to see the last match. JBL squashes Moore, whats new? When Puder greeted Shannon backstage, the look on Shannon's face just made me think- "poor guy, he's getting squashed again today isnt he?", and that was before the fishbowl... how odd.
Come on people! Rate me! Have you seen my rating? Its lower than my I.Q.! TNA gets better ratings! An ape banging his head on the keyboard could get better ratings than me!
I've been cordially invited to a commitment ceremony? Before I can go, it's time for The Great Thomas SmackDown! Report! Lesnar vs. Hardcore: Lesnar won. Taker: Dammit, did he have to bring Sara into the WWE AGAIN?! Who's she gonna get over this time?