Big Show vs. Rikishi: Rest moves galore! Big Show wins via chokeslam.
Tough Enough 3: Bob Holly brutalizes some young punk. WOO-HOO!
Cena vs. Guerrero The Younger: "World Famous Freestyle Rap". NOOOO! YOU CUT THA MULLET! NOT THA MULLET!!! So Los Guerreros are FACES now?! Booooo. B-2 hits a "Holy Shit!" suplex bump on the steel ramp. Cena wins via rope-grabbing.
Dawn Marie: Excuse me, I have to go... rub myself. Hoo hoo hoo!
Panzer Dragoon Orta: It's official. X-Box is Dreamcast's successor.
RAW Moment: Stone Cold sprays McMahon. With beer.
Hardy V.1 vs. Kidman: Kidman hits a Shooting Star Press on Boy Band Man and Hardy outside. Holy shit. Kidman wins via rollup. Hardy forgives Boy Band Man and hugs him. Awwwwww...
Edge: OMG EDGE HUGS BABIES LOL!
Torrie: She wants to penetrate Dawn Marie with a glass slipper.
Tajiri vs. Noble: Counters galore! Tajiri wins via "Kick-to-The-Back-of-The-Head".
Haas vs. Edge: Benoit arrives to watch over Edge. Cole wants us to make sure Haas DOES NOT suck! Haas wins via "Crutch-to-the-Back" and Exploder suplex. Later, Benoit challenges Shelton Benjamin. Let's go to commercial break!
Benoit vs. Benjamin: Submissions and suplexes galore! Benoit wins via DQ, then Team Angle beat down and humiliate him.
The Honeymoon: They do it in the shower!
Boy Band Man vs. DeMott: Hugh G. Rection is here as "Tough Love". Tazz tries to do the "V.1" signal. Live long and prosper, Tazz. SQUAAAAASH MAAAAATCH! Afterwards, Hardy breaks Boy Band Man's fucking neck.
Royal Rumble: OHHHH MY GAAAAWWWD! IT'S THE EVIL PRIEST UNDERTAKER! HE'S COMING BACK! I'M MARKING OUT! OMG OMG OMG! YES! YES! YEEEEESSS!
Tale of the Tape: I love these things! Apparently, A-Train is bigger than Lesnar.
B-2 vs. Guerrero The Elder: OMG HISTORY REPEATS LOLZ! Sign of the Night: "B-2 B-GONE!" Eddie wins via Frog Splash.
The Honeymoon: Al is tired.
Royal Rumble: OHHHH NOOOO! It's the Stinking Biker Undertaker! He's coming back! BOOOOO! PFFFFT!
Nathan Jones: He's out of prison, and coming to SmackDown! Yay!
The Main Event: Power moves galore! Lesnar makes A-Train look good. Lesnar wins via F-5. Afterwards, Big Show and Heyman teach Brock a lesson.
The Honeymoon: OMG! Al's dead!
That's all for this week. Until then, Good Night, take care of yourselves, and stay tuned for Tough Enough 3! ...or not.
TIP: Do not eat rice that has been laying on the ground.
Smackdown RULED tonight. By my count, Charlie Haas busted out 5 suplexes. 5!! He is so going to be the real fucking deal soon. Everything about Team Angle rules, even the entrance. This week's booking philosophy made sense, as it was mostly either pairing two good workers together or putting the shitty workers with a wrestler who has enough talent to make the shitty worker look good. The end result is a great show from top to bottom that makes the best possible uses of the available talent. Everybody wins.
The fact that both Matt Hardy and Jaime Noble got to wrestle decent matches fills my heart with joy.
I am starting to believe that it will not be Albert who will be fed to Undertaker, but Bill DeMott. At this point, it's the only reason I can see to build up a guy who isn't going to the main event.
Nathan Jones certainly has the look and the EVIL AUSSIE ACCENT~, too bad I've never heard a report of him not sucking in the ring.
And I don't care what you say: Al Wilson went out in STYLE, BABY!! One can only wish that he suffers the same fate
(edited by Underwater on 9.1.03 2226) It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!
Believe it or not, I write this BEFORE I read anyone else's stuff.
...and a Fashion Report, too.
Oh Fortuna, Brocky!
Why no Dawn and Al in the opening? I mean, it's not like they don't get 10 minutes a show. Instead we get Mark f'n Henry!
Paul, in NY hat and suit, (and Paul), in black singlet/jenas, vs. AssMan, in red dragon-star black man skirt. Crap, this abdominal stretch will NOT end. Man, that was DELIBERATE.
Whitey, in headband, red jersey (open) and chain/lock, with Bull, in yamaka, with chains, vs. Chavo, in red/black trunks, wearing the Tag Belt, with Eddie, in green/black/yellow trunks, wearing HIS Tag Belt. Nice match.
Good Lord, let the Dawn/Al storyline die, please! What can the payoff POSSIBLY be?
Oooo - Pander Dragoon looks like it's got a GREAT storyline...not.
Matt, in V1 shirt and funny pants, with Shannon, in V1 shirt and silver bellbottoms, vs. Billy, in silver/red full-cuts. Nice match.
Torrie and Josh rip on the Dawn/Al angle almost as much as I do.
Tajiri, in black latex pants with white dragon, vs. Noble, in cutoff jeans, with Nidia, in Daisy Dukes. Good match.
Who is "Nathan Jones"?
Charlie, n blue singlet, with Shelton and Kurt, vs. Edge, in red trenchcoat and trunks and THAT DAM STOCKING CAP! Ben-wa comes out for fun. Good match. Ben-wa...speaks!
Shelton, in red/blue singlet, vs. Ben-wa in blue trunks with silver. Good match, plot is advanced, much happiness!
Hey, did you know the flu kills more Americans annually than AIDS? Wear a freakin' ribbon!
Damnit, someone slip a cyanide capsule in Al's Viagra already! Please!
Shannon, with Matt, vs. Hugh...um, Bill, in black singlet with green splats. Squishy-squash. Matt on commentary is great; Tazz on color is great; Cole is okay.
So, are we going to get the Undertaker, the Evil Wizard, or Bikertaker when he returns?
Bull, with Whitey, vs. Eddie, with Chavo. Good match.
Albert, in hair, with a beard, vs. Brocky, in black undies. Okay match.
Nope, can't end the show with a match. Instead we SUFFER through the worst skit since the necrophelia bit (which is saying something). Is THIS the payoff? Who the hell okay'ed this?
Overall - the solid wrestling in the middle of the show was great, but the Dawn/Al is REALLY getting on my nerves now. Okay show. Hey, where was Stephanie?
Fashion Reporter Extraordinare
Thhhor tries to explain economics to SPP, but he doesn't use the phrases "freaks and peaks", "boomshakalaka", or "booty daddy" so SPP can't understand him.
Because ten billion years' time is so fragile, so ephemeral... it arouses such a bittersweet, almost heartbreaking fondness.
Stephanie was too busy scrubbing the Goblin Goo Tanning Cream off of her man.
Smackdown was a really solid show this week. Lots of good TV wrestling matches, 5-7 minutes of action that furthers storylines is fine by me. If this show had a real Main Event instead of the squash and didn't end with the Al Wilson crap it would have been really great. Still, I felt like it was two hours well spent.
The fact that Dawn/Torrie gets one of the match spots at the Rumble disturbs me though. I'm gonna be a real good boy and pray that this is the end of this god awful storyline.
Now this is what a wrestling show is supposed to be about. While there wasn't any long matches there were about four or five good solid matches with a couple other matches that served their purpose. For once the backstage segments didn't dominate the show and other than the opening match, none of the matches really sucked.
Team Angle rules. I am really digging Benjamin and Haas. While they still have a lot to learn they are the real deal. Putting Haas and Benjamin with Angle was a good move and gives them ready made heat, now it is up to them to take advantage of it to get to the next level.
Tajiri vs. Noble was the best Cruiserweight match in a long time. Everything was well-executed and led to a sweet ending. Who says you need a lot of flying spots for a good cruiserweight match.
Eddy carries B-2 to a watchable match. This match wasn't anything to write home about but considering that it was Bull Buchanon, I have to hand to Eddy for making the match even watchable. Chavo carrying John Cena to a good five minute match was enjoyable as well. While the clash of Los Guerreros vs. The White Boy Posse won't be at the level of recent tag matches, I expect it to be enjoyable nevertheless. I'm just waiting to see the job Los Guerreros will do with Team Angle. Eddy is the next Kurt Angle in terms of the weird relationship with the fans or the being the babyface by default factor.
I haven't enjoyed a WWE television show from top to bottom in a long time. Most of the time I enjoyed aspects of a show but for the first time in a whole I actually enjoyed a show as a whole. I hope they have more television shows like this week's Smackdown.
Originally posted by ScreamingHeadGuyGood Lord, let the Dawn/Al storyline die, please!
Well, you wanted it to die, and Al died! Happy? Of course not!
Of course we're not happy...Al's not dead. If you listened closely, you heard them say that Al had a pulse (after the defib shock, but before they loaded him onto the gurney).
At the taping on Tuesday we didn't get that last segment, so we could go home happily imagining that Al was indeedy-do dead. Imagine how annoyed I was at the efficiency of Tucson paramedics to get him revived.
Another good Smackdown this week, thankfully balancing out all the crap from Raw once again.
GOOD -Tajiri/Noble:Good cruiserweight stuff and I love good cruiserweights on my TV. But I get the feeling the crowd was just looking at this and saying "Hey, wasn't this guy just squashed by that Hugh Morrus feller?" Thanks a lot, WWE!
-Damn MFers!: Mattitude runs wild on the show again and that's totally a good thing! Kidman may not quite be over yet, but he's trying, BY GAWD! And I think he's winning over the people based on his WRESTLING! Matt Hardy Version One remains over, despite losing, because he's MATT HARDY VERSION ONE, BABY!!
-Back to Velocity, Where You Belong!: Hopefully, the main event squash puts Albert-Train on the way back to Velocity never to rear his ugly head (and back) on Smackdown ever again (or at least until it's time for his next annual push). Thank you for doing the wrestling world a great service, Brock!
-New Kids On The Block: Kudos to Team Angle for being able to hang with the much more experienced Edge and Benoit in their respective singles matches. I see a big future for these two kids as they have a tag title reign all but set for the future and bright singles careers afterwards. Haas has that one staple of a great wrestler: a devastating submission finisher! And Shelton can and likely will fall back on his past with Brock whenever he needs an insta-feud. This is the future of the Smackdown brand!
BAD -This Ain't Sumo!: Good thing somebody reinforced the ring for the opening match, WHEN FAT ASSES COLLIDE! Rikishi's recent run at least left the ending somewhat in doubt for the casual fan, but now it's back down the ladder for Rikishi. Hopefully this means time for a repackaging.
-The Honeymoon From Hell: NO COMMENT! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NO COMMENT!
-He's STILL Hugh Morrus, and I'm STILL Not Amused!: You can try and decorate a turd as much as you want, but in the end, it's still a turd. Same goes with Bill DeMott. In the end, he's still Hugh Morrus and he's still not over! But at least tonight's squash served some purpose (giving Matt an excuse to dish out tough love) but they can't keep giving DeMott airtime. Ship his dumb ass to Raw where he can fit in with other losers like 3 Minute Warning.
The "Eh..." -Los Guerreros/Vanilla Ice Connection: The two singles matches weren't actively bad, they were actually pretty good. But who exactly are the faces supposed to be? This can also be a fatal flaw of Paul Heyman's booking as he doesn't have any problem pairing up two heels against each other for no reason and the fans are confused as to who to cheer for.
So yeah, another good Smackdown. But where are the Royal Rumble participants we were promised?!
Does THIS look like the face of a man with Testicles?
Outside of the first match, everything either was a good match or at least built towards storylines. Shouldn't they be calling her Dawn Marie Wilson now? And, when your getting someone to criticize Al for being in his underwear in the ring, shouldn't it be someone other than Torrie (I'm here as a stripper only) Wilson? Funny how even a few weeks after getting his knee scoped Angle is still 100x more mobile than the two participants in the Raw World Title match. Something seems morally wrong when Los Guerreros are getting cheered. Just doesn't seem right. And does this mean Eddy is no longer a jackal? They actually showed some continuity through the show as well, as Team Angle passed the Arena/Parking Lot sign on their way to the ring, while Heyman/Big Slug went to it then veered towards the parking lot. This week showed once and for all why they need to make RAW a taped show as well, as it was by far an improvement over the live SD of the week before. I would like to see someone from Team Angle start using the crossface/chicken wing, thus harkening back to Angle's early days under the tutelage of Bob Backlund, and a possible future excuse for bow-tie Bob to return.
Please help control the McMahon population. Have your Triple H's spayed or neutered.
Great show to balance out a crappy Raw. Also beats out the Surreal Life featuring a religeous MC Hammer eating sushi off a naked stripper.
I like Cena's rapping as long as the sound man gives him a beat. I also like the feud with the Guerreros...who said they were faces, I saw Chavo hit Cena with a belt, seems like they still cheat to me. I also heard Cena say that they'll beat them again at the Rumble, so maybe they'll put a tag title match there.
Benjamin/Benoit was great. Benjamin and Haas are heels that can wrestle in the mode of Angle. They are not the typical chickenshit heels.
Benjamin has a good superkick and powerslam. With all the superkicks flying, that HBK holding down superkicks rumor was pure BS.
Tajiri is great and the crowd got into that cruiserweight match for the first time in a while.
Hats off to Kidman for the shooting star to the apron. Shades of Starcade 98. Lets see Lesnar do that one. Everyone bashing Kidman last week should start apologizing now.
I'm really sorry I missed Smackdown this week, but my distaste of all things Old Man and The Goldigger ruled. It's good to hear that Team Angle are doing well, and I'm sure Kurt was going nuts in his usual entertaining way. 9 matches?! Great, I miss a smackdown, and they do 9 MATCHES?!?!?! Oh great, a needle in a haystack! Oh, well, I'm sure that if Rescue 911 was still on, that last segment (from the sound of it) would make the top ten all time list...... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Just kidding, I don't wish harm on anybody (except Vinnie Mac, but not bodily harm...a lobotomy doesn't count as bodily harm, does it?)
Ignoring the Al/Dawn Marie segments - which I will, except to wonder why they'd send back video tapes of Al having a heart attack and almost dying (I'm thinking he did die and we get to hear about his near death experience) and why the person who received the tapes at SmackDown would decide to cut them up and air them that way, what a jerk - I want to echo a sentiment that Wonderful1 had above. This was a great show and what SmackDown should, was and can be all about.
I loved watching the amazing series of matches we had around the September-October period with the high quality Angle/Benoit/Misterio/Guerrero/Guerrero/Edge combinations and if they wanted to keep doing those, that's fine. But if they were worried about giving away so many pay per view quality matches, a valid concern, this is the perfect option. Last night they put on six really good to great matches without giving too much away or wearing anything out. You can't ask for anything more than that, and this is the kind of show that SmackDown has the potential to put out every week.
Am I the only one who thought that the overall show had kind of a unique layout, with the crappy big guy matches bookending things, and working inwards from both ends, you had mirroring matches in the Guerrero/rappers feud, then mirroring Mattitude-related matches on the next level in and finally, the back-to-back Team Angle feud matches right in the middle. Well, the Tajiri/Noble match kind of throws the structure off, but I think there was a real attempt to find a good pace for everything they had.
I happily missed the Big Show/Rikishi match at the start of the show. Brock/A-Train didn't do much for me beyond the spectacle of watching Brock toss another big guy around. I guess the worst match was DeMott vs. Moore, but even this was redeemed by Moore being afraid of the consequences of losing and Matt being really good on the commentary. "Matt Fact: Mah-cull Cole is biased!" "You are biased, Cole!" It also served as a good resolution to the running angle during the show of when Matt was going to embrace Mattitude with tough love for his MFer. I liked Matt's insincere back-pats on his hugs, too. See, WWE? Just give the guy an angle and let him go. We could have been seeing fun stuff like this for a while now.
As for the other six matches, I think Eddie got the best match out of B2 that he could, so no complaints there. I liked Chavo/Cena better. Making them faces is an interesting experiment, hopefully to set the table for Los Guerreros vs. Team Angle and Los Guerreros/Benoit vs. Team Angle/Angle down the line. Man, forget the mullet, what happened to Chavo's hair that quickly?
Matt/Kidman was pretty good, too, and reminded me a little more of WCW Kidman. This was more a part of the Mattitude angle, which is a good one, so that's perfectly acceptable. There was a nice reversal out of Kidman's sleeper in there, and his Shooting Star Press to the floor was great. It was also nice to see that Mattitude has given Hardy the knowledge to avoid trying to do That Which Cannot Be Done to Kidman. Clearly, Matt knows the old wrestling addage about how "you don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind, you don't try to powerbomb Billy Kidman and you don't hitch a ride from Sid."
I really liked Noble/Tajiri. The early segment with Noble blocking the Tarantula, sliding under the ropes and his legs and then picking him up to drop him on the rail was neat. They had more great exchanges, blocking each other's moves until Tajiri got the upperfoot for the win. Imagine if they'd done this before going out of their way to take the wind out of both Tajiri's and Noble's sails, and when Noble was a strong cruiser champ. Ah well.
The heart of the show, both in placement and outcome, was the terrific extended Team Angle run. I really like what Haas and Benjamin have done in their matches. Never saw Haas before he came up for this, so I don't know what he can really do, but it's been good so far and Benjamin seems (understandably) more motivated than when I saw him on Heat. I really liked Edge/Haas and Haas seemed like he was at home doing his thing. Benjamin/Benoit was even better, with Benjamin's offense being good, but he served even better taking the beating from Benoit. Best was Angle himself freaking out at the end and shattering the crutch on Benoit, then throwing on the Anklelock and yelling "MAKE HIM TAP!" to Haas. Holy crap. Angle has that out-of-his-mind Bret thing going when he flips out these days. Excellent. When he's done with Benoit, have him massacre Big Show and Heyman, too, for trying to horn in on his God-given right to feud with Brock Lesnar, too, and he may singlehandedly save the Brock/Angle feud yet.
First time in a while I watched Smackdown in real time, and the inring was great, the build up of the world title match is being done very well. So why on earth do you want to overshadow all this stuff with Dawn and Al?
-Big show vs. Rikishi - Can't pick a lamer way to start the show. I guess they want to make Big Show seem like a thread, maybe they should have done this feud before his main event world title push a couple of months ago? Lame
-Cena vs. Chavo- Okay Smackdown now starts rolling, Eddie looked major intense going after B2 boooh yaaaah. Real good match.
-Kidman vs. Matt Hardy- match of the night. Real fun match even though many occasions look like stuff that legit hurt, Kidman reverse kick to Matt's nose, throwing Matt to the outside hitting the apron hard, and of course the the shooting star to the outside crashing heads with Moore. One of the best reverses of the sleeper I've seen. God ending being partial Moore's fault for Matt's lose... Kidman hasn't looked this good since his flock days, so expect the managerial career killer Torrie to be added as his manager to do to Kidman what she did for Tajiri among other including Kidman himself in WCW.
Tajiri vs. Knoble - As solid an filler match you can get. Very entertaining. Even though Knoble seems to be pushed away to the sidelines and no sign of Nunzio the match itself was a great 5 minutes. It's always good to see Tajiri in their with someone talented and on Smackdown.
-Haas vs. Edge- First time seeing Haas, and he looked solid. Good match, nice ending good interaction from Angle. It's hard to get a real good feeling to this match because I didn't know what to expect from Hass.
-Benoit vs. Benjamin - Haha Angle clone. Well Benjamin looks like a totally different person from the guy that was on Heat. Then again he was wrestling Shawn Stasiak going to Chris Benoit, I'm guessing that's a bit of an upswing in talent. Benoit had control most of this match setting him up strong for the PPV. Angle and his team attack afterwards was awesome and forceful. Even though the WWF buries this on WWE.com and not pushing it as a selling part of the show atleast when they are on they are awesome.
-DeMott vs. Moore- DeMott wins cruiser. But atleast they pushed that Moore gave a lot of effort. Matt is still is still a bad interview with a annoying accent but it works now for whatever reason. Not attacking Moore after Matt lost but attacking him now with a huge to twist of faith was a nice touch
-Eddie vs. B2 - Love the beginning of Eddie not taking no shite and going after the rapping bastards early during their entrance. Eddie gets the pin making the SD feud between the 2 teams even for the night.
-Brock vs. A-Train - Alberts "I'm going to prove myself" is sad, A-Train sucks I guess the wrestlers is always last to know. The match was forgettable battling the first match for worst match of the night. Pretty lame lession by Paul E, lesson just leave?
other stuff - Speaking of pretty lame, I've asked this before but is the Dawn/Al thing suppose to be funny, serious or sexy, because for me it's neither... Thespian Torrie cuts another "great" promo. Can someone tell me what emotion she is displaying? She seemed to act like she moved on but at the same time cutting a revenge promo on Dawn?...That Nathon Jones guy seems downright creepy.
Sign of the Night: I swear I saw a NHS sign on the left side of my screen, my influence continues. Booo-Yaaaah
Line of the night: When B2 is being kicked not allowed at ringside, after Cole mentioned it, Tazz just added "well booo-yah". Yup I do get a kick out of that word. lol. BTW I loved Cole and Tazz tonight.
In regards to my suggestion of Chris Benoit adopting The Unstoppable Erection as his finishing move, It’s False quickly reminded me:
You mean that wasn't the name of Benoit's 69 submission hold from a few months ago?...