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18.4.14 0105
The W - Pro Wrestling - the first NECW TV WORKRATE REPORT- 7/5/2005!
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DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1103 days
Last activity: 1100 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
More of the Northeastern wrestling to counteract the Total Southern Onslaught that we have experienced here at the THE DRIVER. (We hope that if we review enough of this, eventually Samoa Joe and Homicide will wrestle Preston Quinn and Scotty Blaze with Tracy Smother as special referee in a community center in Dinwiddie county and we'll ALLLL win.) AnywayzZ...

WHAT WORKED-

- D-Unit- Doug Summers (but not THAT Doug Summers) and Rocco Abruzzi- cut a PROMO~! and enrage me by shooting on the internet. Brice Andrews joins D-Unit but starts acting the fool and is quickly muzzled. The fact that Doug Summers' lovechild might be in this tag team makes it work. Oh, and then they wrestling Nick, Brian and Matt Logan. Rocco Abruzzi throws a nice punch to the head of random jumpy flippy Logan and then kinda reminds me of a poorman's Curtis Thompson. Random Logans do midgrade double team maneuvers on Brice Andrews and the moves are branded "UNBELIEVABLE" by our weirdly bearded announce team. For a two count. The largest of the Logans has a nice clubbing forearm before Brice takes an armdrag completely wrong straight on his shoulder. You live, you learn. Brice with a perfectly fine indie lariat. The rest of D-Unit leave Brice Andrews to the devastating mid-level offence of the Logans- who quickly kill him with a Kanyonized Inverted 3-D Diamond Cutter Stunner Crusher. This D-Unit is comically dastardly and frat-boy dickish like you love your Northern prototype heels to be.

- Nikki Roxx has a hilarious name that you only get in indie wrestling or internet pornography or possibly some gentlemen's establishments that bring in brandname strippers. Mercedes Martinez is accompanied by a larger, thicker, TomK-mountable second who allows Martinez to hit a... Superkick but more to the collarbone. Nikki Roxx has tiny pants+ big butt = I'm so very old and my spirit is broken. Martinez has questionable clubbing forearms. QUESTIONABLE. Nikki hits a perfectly fine (or UNBELEIVABLE! if you are an announcer that has the beginnings of a really bad ZZ Top beard). Nikki (and her fabulous buttocks) are denied the ladies belt by shenanigans as the TomK lady distracts the ref and Mercedes crushes Nikki's head with the belt. The announcing would make Phil Schneider long for the dulcimer tones of Rick O'Brien. Nikki Roxx does get the DQ win and her friend (Suzi Jade? Terri DyVyne? Candi Diamond?) makes the save and it looks like we have the makings of a tag fued. Nikki! Nikki! Nikki! Nikki! Nikki! And Her Butt!

- Zakk Statik is his name. God, you would have to change that to Shane Statik to make a more indie name. Oh, no you don't- his partner is Rob Impact. If he changed it to Double Tuff Justice Impakt, maybe it would be more indie. Your champions are Andre Lyonz and Mark Bourne. Actually there may not be a "z" at the end of Lyonz. No, I rechecked- it is with a "z". The ridiculous scrawny innate indie-ness of Statik and Impact endear them to me as they do their preposterous offense. Mark Bourne hits a nice lariat and he and his partner bring a little danger to the proceedings as they have a hurty batch of double teams they whip out. Bourne takes a truly comical bump off a weak kick by Statik and the hot tag is ON! Aaaaaand the lariats of by Impact are questionable. QUESTIONABLE. Lyons and Bourne hit a nice double Enzuiguiruirui and Lyons gets the pin and they retain the belt! I dig Bourne.

- They end with some method acting and I can't quite make out who it is and what they are saying while I am at work. Thus I give it the benefit of the doubt.

WHAT DIDN'T WORK-

- Jebub Christmas, that's a whole lot of bad facial hair right off the bat. What- are these announcers the bastard sons of Robert Bork? This isn't Amish wrestling, is it? Shave already- Ramadan was in November. I guess it isn't sponsored by Lectric Shave! Let's take up a collection and send MicroTouches to New England! Beard jokes! That's a giant plate of shitty beard. Boy howdy.

- I'm secretly watching this at work and I have to use my mind to figure out how to pronounce Joe Chece's last name because I can only turn up the sound intermittenly. Whoever he is, he's got the TV belt, baby! Goddam, Jonny Idol has some nice punches. Chece hits a kinda inside Belly to Belly slamthing and gets the flash pin. I was getting into Jonny Idol and they end this after a minute so fuck this match. MORE IDOL. LESS BOOKING. Postmatch, I turn up the sound to hear Jonny Idol yammer incomprehensibly on the PA. OH COOL! THEY RESTART THE MATCH! They have some nearfalls and then edit to the point where Idol fucks up jumping to the toprope. Damn, Idol has a nice elbow drop. Guess who I really like. He's got the tools, he just needs to actually convey some sort of hate when on offense- as opposed to listlessly going from spot to spot. Chece with the Bruce Lee kick to the head for two. FOR TWO? Okay. Idol eventually hits a sweet Superplex that Chece kicks out of. Chece then counters a suplex into a rollup for the second win? Yuck. Superplex isn't a fucking headlock, kids.

THERE YOU HAVE IT.

DEAN RASMUSSEN.




YES, I AM DEAN.
Promote this thread!
Matt Tracker
Scrapple








Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 7 hours
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.63
You suffer so for us, DEAN. I'm mailing you my July 4th Special Edition MicroTouch to cuddle up to when you sleep.



"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1103 days
Last activity: 1100 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by Matt Tracker
    You suffer so for us, DEAN. I'm mailing you my July 4th Special Edition MicroTouch to cuddle up to when you sleep.


God bless you, Matt Tracker....



YES, I AM DEAN.
Eddie Famous
Andouille








Since: 11.12.01
From: Catlin IL

Since last post: 146 days
Last activity: 139 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.91

I believe I saw Nikki (w/butt) in a women's battle royal on AAA lucha on Galavision not long ago...cubsfan, am I correct?




As of 2/28/05: 101 pounds since December 7, 2004
OFFICIAL THREE-MONTH COUNT: 112 pounds on March 9, 2005
OFFICIAL SIX-MONTH COUNT: 142 pounds on June 8, 2005
As of 6/28/05: 144 pounds "I've lost a welterweight"
tomk
Goetta








Since: 30.7.02

Since last post: 2493 days
Last activity: 843 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.28
    Originally posted by Eddie Famous
    I believe I saw Nikki (w/butt) in a women's battle royal on AAA lucha on Galavision not long ago...cubsfan, am I correct?



she's been in Mexico for a tour. Don't know about AAA.


Her lucha interview with El Halcon webzine can be found here:
http://www.elhalconnet.com.mx/nikki2601.htm

Based on the photos in the interview (well outisde of the herpes sore on the lip) she doesn't seem to have the Tomk look that Dean has been trying to promote of late.


thecubsfan
Scrapple
Moderator








Since: 10.12.01
From: Aurora, IL

Since last post: 8 hours
Last activity: 2 hours
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 10.00
Yea, she was part of the group of LLF women in for the Reina de Reinas battle royal.



thecubsfan.com - CMLLBlog
DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1103 days
Last activity: 1100 days
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.85
    Originally posted by tomk
      Originally posted by Eddie Famous
      I believe I saw Nikki (w/butt) in a women's battle royal on AAA lucha on Galavision not long ago...cubsfan, am I correct?



    she's been in Mexico for a tour. Don't know about AAA.


    Her lucha interview with El Halcon webzine can be found here:
    http://www.elhalconnet.com.mx/nikki2601.htm

    Based on the photos in the interview (well outisde of the herpes sore on the lip) she doesn't seem to have the Tomk look that Dean has been trying to promote of late.





I'm trying to make you the R Crumb of the Death Valley Playaz.



YES, I AM DEAN.
Eddie Famous
Andouille








Since: 11.12.01
From: Catlin IL

Since last post: 146 days
Last activity: 139 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.91

    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    They end with some method acting and I can't quite make out who it is and what they are saying while I am at work. Thus I give it the benefit of the doubt.


That would be the manager/partner of Michael Sain, something Crowley and he is EVIL EVIL EVIL. I guess. Sain was pretty good last week as the monolith of crazy evil...

The A-List have a truly rotten name but I agree they can go in the ring.



As of 2/28/05: 101 pounds since December 7, 2004
OFFICIAL THREE-MONTH COUNT: 112 pounds on March 9, 2005
OFFICIAL SIX-MONTH COUNT: 142 pounds on June 8, 2005
As of 6/28/05: 144 pounds "I've lost a welterweight"
Thread rated: 7.26
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Jesus. Vague face/heel status + possible turns + Quebec (aka, wrestling Bizarro world) is a serious recipe for confusion.
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