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|AIM: || ||#1 Posted on 25.9.03 0256.08 | Instant Rating: 4.87|
|The Dames’ Diatribe on NWA:TNA – September 24, 2003|
This past weekend was WWE’s Unforgiven and I wrote a Diatribe on it…HERE.
The show starts off with the usual video package recapping last week’s events, but conspicuously, there is ZERO mention of the Raven/Douglas Hair vs. Hair match.
If you want details of last week’s events, just read last week’s Diatribe…
After the package, a clip is shown of a confrontation that took place earlier today between Erik Watts and Don Callis outside of the building. Watts is upset with Callis for choosing Russo over Piper last week and Callis clarifies the situation for Watts (and everyone at home finally). Watts is the Director of Authority, but the power he has is only with situations in the ring. Callis has power over everything else that takes place and can fire Watts at will if he oversteps his boundaries as DoA…
I’m VERY glad that this segment took place as it finally gives the audience some guidelines as to who’s in charge of what and distinctly differentiates itself from the co-GM situation on WWE’s Raw.
The intro hits and we do NOT get the usual crowd shots to start it all off as the camera focuses in on Jeremy Borash instead. He introduces 3 Live Kru (Konnan, Ron “The Truth” Killings and B.G. James) who are about to perform their new single.
They come out at the top of the stage, with guys playing instruments along side them and begin rapping…badly. Well, I’ll give them credit, B.G. James and The Truth were on beat, but Konnan was WAY off. I guess EVERYONE wants to be a rapper these days…first John Cena, then Randy Savage and now these guys…
In the middle of the performance, Glenn Gilberti, Simon Diamond and David Young mercifully kill it by attacking them from behind and throwing all of them off the ramp and onto the steel safety rail.
The heels come to the ring as Mike Tenay informs us that ½ of the NWA Tag Team Champions, Johnny Swinger underwent emergency surgery because his appendix BURST!
Glenn Gilberti begins mocking Konnan’s usual shtick on the mic and let the crowd know that there will be no tag title match tonight.
All of a sudden, Raven (sporting a very low crew cut) comes to the ring with the Gathering and hits the Raven Effect DDT on Glenn Gilberti! Diamond and Young walk up the ramp as the crowd chants “Raven” louder than usual!
He gets on THE STICK~! and talks about the humiliation he suffered at the hands of Shane Douglas, Vampiro and Jim Mitchell last week. “There are very few stipulations in professional wrestling that have actual repercussions.” Raven (who looks monkey-like with the hair cut) talks about the fact that he’s been hurt…which he didn’t think was possible. The crowd chants “Raven” even LOUDER as he continues to speak.
Raven states that he’s been diagnosed by doctors as being a manic depressive, paranoid schizophrenic and clinically depressed…which doesn’t exactly make him a great person to be around. He says that he’s about to “lose it” now because of the New Church…which they’ve now brought upon themselves.
This was an awesome in-ring promo as they didn’t wait to bring out Raven and show the world his new look, while Raven showed a great intensity in his eyes and the words he spoke. The segments transitioned beautifully into one another which reminded me of classic ECW. Also, the crowd seems to be behind Raven even more now that he’s been shaved bald, so the decision for him to lose his hair seems to have been the right one.
We go to the announcers, Mike Tenay and Don West, who run down the card for the rest of the show. Before they finish, however, Kid Kash interrupts (looking mighty short compared to West & Tenay) and says that he will not be responsible for what happens to Terry Taylor tonight.
We’re directed to an awesome video package on the 5 competitors in tonight’s X Division match, airing highlight clips on them all. For some odd reason, they spell Nosawa’s name incorrectly as the graphic reads “Nasawa”.
This leads to a backstage interview between Scott Hudson and Jerry Lynn. Lynn says that what he does best is wrestle and Erik Watts knows it, unlike Don Callis who only cares about the Sports Entertainment aspect of it. Thanks to Watts, he’s in this match tonight so he can prove to the world that he can still hang with the new generation of X Division wrestlers out there…and ends the promo by giving us his DEATH METAL VOICE~! and pimping a band. That was a unique way to end a promo. I always mark for Lynn’s Death Metal voice…
Scott Hudson tells us to hit the record button as it’s X Division Time! I don’t know about you, but if I’m paying for ANYTHING on Pay Per View, I’m recording it already. If I want to see it again, what am I supposed to do…pay for it again?
Jerry Lynn vs. Chris Sabin vs. Frankie Kazarian vs. Nosawa vs. Juventud Guerrera in a #1 Contender’s Match for the X Division Title
Match Background: All of these men were in the excellent Super X Division tournament three weeks ago and last week, were involved in a 6 man tag team match along with the X Division champion Michael Shane. This week, they’re vying for a shot at the X Division Title.
The Match: During Frankie Kazarian’s intro, he doesn’t bother coming straight to the ring, opting to go towards Lollipop’s cage and chat her up for a bit. Last week, he was distracted by a blond at ringside, so his character seems to be developing some. Oh, he’s also wearing leather pants, which not only makes him look MORE like Antonio Banderas, but also suggests a heel turn…
The match starts off with Kazarian locking up with Nosawa, who chain wrestle until Kazarian is able to connect with a clothesline. Nosawa gets in a low blow (in clear view of the referee) and a kick to the chest as the fans chant “ICP”, which the announcers acknowledge.
For the record, Nosawa apparently wrestles for ICP’s Juggalo Championshit Wrestling and is their champion, I believe. Yes, I spelled that correctly. ChampionSHIT.
Kazarian tags in Juvi, who comes off the top with a missile dropkick on Nosawa. Nosawa hits a spinning wheel kick on him, followed by a Yakuza kick, leading to Juvi tagging Sabin in. An irish whip sequence leads to Jerry Lynn coming off the top onto Nosawa with a cross body and Sabin attempting to stop the pinfall for some reason. Sabin and Lynn are in the ring now and they exchange ranas before Lynn elevates Sabin up and over the ropes to the floor. Lynn then comes off the apron onto Sabin and ranas him on the floor! Back in the ring, they clothesline each other and end up tagging out to Juvi and Nosawa who makes the Juice EAT BOOT in the corner before German suplexing him to another “ICP” chant.
Juvi dodges a kick but hits a ‘KI KRUSHER~! (fisherman’s suplex into a Michinoku Driver a.k.a. Low-Ki’s finishing move) to eliminate Nosawa from the match. Sabin and Kazarian come in, but Lynn nails Sabin with a dropkick and Kazarian follows it up with a leg lariat on Lynn. Juvi goes after Kazarian and hits a nice head scissors before hitting a basement dropkick, sending him out of the ring. Juvi then ranas Kazarian on the floor before heading back in. They exchange waistlocks and Juvi goes for the ‘Ki Krusher again on Kazarian, but he blocks it and sets up his Back to the Future move. Sabin tags himself in and hits a springboard dropkick on Juvi, sending both men crashing down to the mat. Sabin goes after Kazarian now, but Lynn is able to hit his apron legdrop on Sabin and slingshots himself over the top onto him for a two count.
Juvi tags himself in and connects with a springboard dropkick on Lynn before working on Sabin in the corner. Kazarian tags himself in and tags Sabin with a dropkick and hits a unique somersault kick to the back of Sabin’s head, which Kazarian has never done in TNA previously. Sabin immediately tags out to Lynn, who counters Kazarian’s slingshot DDT…and then Sabin tags himself in again. He comes off the top but gets caught with Kazarian’s Wave of the Future for a two count as Sabin gets his feet on the ropes. Sabin gets up…and hits a Death Valley Driver into a Michinoku Driver to eliminate Kazarian. I KNOW that move has a name but I honestly forgot what it is right now. Actually, I think Lash LeRoux used to call it the Whiplash in WCW. Sabin calls it the “Cradle Shock” according to Tenay, but it HAS to have a generic name, right?
Juvi comes in to face Sabin now, but Sabin tosses him overhead into Lynn’s corner. Lynn comes in and whips Sabin into a Juvi missile dropkick for a nearfall. Lynn goes to suplex Sabin from the apron into the ring, but Sabin reverses it into a reverse DDT position…only for Juvi to springboard onto both men and all 3 go down crashing. In a spot that looked too choreographed, Sabin sunset flips Lynn as he’s got a waistlock on Juvi and Juvi ends up German suplexed. That move has been pulled off in the past, but it just didn’t look right tonight because it wasn’t done in one fluid motion.
Lynn attempts a Cradle Piledriver on Juvi, but Sabin dropkicks him down. Juvi gets up and hits the JUVI DRIVER~! on Sabin…but attempts the cover on Lynn for two. Lynn and Juvi then have a complicated series of nearfall which ends with Lynn hitting the Kryptonite Krunch for the three count and Juvi is eliminated.
It’s down to Jerry Lynn against Chris Sabin, who counters a Cradle Piledriver attempt with a catapult into the corner. He hits the Over Easy for two and heads up top, but gets crotched. Lynn superplexes him off as the X Division Champion, Michael Shane looks on at the top of the ramp. Lynn comes off the ropes charging at Sabin but EATS BOOT BIGTIME as Sabin hits a NASTY Yakuza kick and follows it up with a BRAINBUSTAH~! for a close two count! Sabin signals that HE is going to go for the Cradle Piledriver, but Lynn counters it into a Kryptonite Krunch attempt, which Sabin counters out of! He shoves Lynn out of the way, bumping the ref and Michael Shane comes into the ring with the X Title. Lynn goes for the TKO on Sabin, who floats over as Shane charges and Sabin gets hit in the face with the belt! Lynn DDT’s Shane and picks up Sabin for the CRADLE PILEDRIVER~! and the win!
Winner: Jerry Lynn
My Opinion: The match was very good as everyone seemed to be on their game tonight for the most part. The booking was done well as Sabin defeated Lynn in the first round of the Super X tournament and ended up winning the whole thing and tonight, Lynn defeated Sabin to get the shot at Shane. Personally, I wish that TNA would forget about the heel/face alignment and have Sabin challenge Shane to an X Division Title match, seeing as how he won the tournament. Then again, Shane was eliminated in the tournament by Frankie Kazarian so realistically, it should be a three way dance, but hopefully Lynn/Shane should be alright. ***1/4.
We go to the back where Scott Hudson is with Shark Boy and Mad Mikey…who is wearing a big Spongebob Squarepants costume. All of a sudden, Sonny Siaki and the former Jamal of 3 Minute Warning, now known as Ekmo, attack for apparently no reason leaving Mikey and Shark Boy lying.
Tenay informs us that after last week’s incident with Vince Russo and Roddy Piper, Mike Tenay conducted a sit down interview with Roddy Piper.
Piper said that he was amazed that TNA officials would really choose Russo over him. He wanted to come back to give something back to the young kids in TNA. He says that when Russo asked him if he was doing it out of the goodness of his heart or for selfish reasons, he didn’t have an answer for that as it was a legit question and something he didn’t give much thought to.
Tenay asks him once again that same question and Piper reiterates that TNA is a “rocket ship ready to take off” and he wants to be part of it. He says that his heart has always been with the NWA, but he’s a business man and he’s gone where he went to make the most money…and ended up getting fired because of his mouth.
We come back and Don Callis is standing in the middle of the ring with Red Shirt Security, with a microphone in his hand. He gets on THE STICK~! and reiterates that he chose Russo over Piper last week and he’s been banned from the Asylum for life. He says that it’s in the customers best interests…and he says that the fans want and NEED Vince Russo on the show. Personally, I know a few people on the TSM Forums who refuse to watch the show BECAUSE Russo is on it.
Callis then turns his attention to Jeff Jarrett, who put his hands on him last week. He says that lead to him making a decision about Jeff’s future which can be summed up in 4 words: Jeff Jarrett, You’re F-…
Erik Watts’ music interrupts before Callis’ finishes and Black Shirt Security come into the ring with him with chairs in their hands, sending Callis and Red Shirt Security scattering. Watts gets on THE STICK~! and says that he’s got something to say.
First off, Jeff Jarrett will get a match with AJ Styles for the NWA Title in the next 30 days…but tonight, he’ll be taking on Christopher Daniels. He then makes a Bunkhouse Brawl match between AJ Styles & Dusty Rhodes. He then makes another match for tonight, pitting Gilberti with Simon and David Young against 3 Live Kru and says that the tag titles will be on the line. I wonder how that will work. He then makes a second 6 man tag featuring Raven, CM Punk & Julio against Shane Douglas, Slash and Sinn in a Dogcollar Match.
He then makes one last match for tonight, pitting Black Shirt Security vs. Red Shirt Security right now…with Erik Watts at ringside!
Black Shirt Security (Chris Vaughn & Rick Santel) vs. Red Shirt Security (Kevin Northcutt and Ryan Wilson)
Match Background: A couple of months ago, Kevin Northcutt & Ryan Wilson debuted on TNA as Red Shirt Security…two beefed up guys who seem to always keep the faces from beating up on the heels. The Red Shirts were hired by TNA as the Black Shirts work for the NWA. Black Shirt Security and the Red Shirts have always clashes because the Red Shirts seem very biased. This is the first time that we’ve seen Northcutt or Wilson in the ring, but Santel and Vaughn have competed in TNA before, losing squash matches in the past.
The Match: The Red shirts walk in and immediately take over on the much smaller Black shirts. Wilson slams Vaughn down with a Goldberg-esque powerslam before setting him up in the corner for shoulder tackles. They double team Vaughn before Northcutt hits a BIG pumphandle suplex for a broke up two count. Northcutt just imposes his will on Vaughn as this has been a squash so far.
Wilson comes into the ring and hits a BIG full nelson, but once again, Santel breaks up the count. Northcutt and Wilson are by far the biggest men in the promotion. Northcutt hits a gorilla press slam on Vaughn for another broken up pinfall attempt. Vaughn tries to fight back, but ends up in the heel corner again. Wilson comes in and hits a tilt a while slam for a third broken up pinfall attempt. Vaughn is able to hit an enziguiri, which stuns Wilson, but he’s still not able to make the tag. Northcutt puts on a unique submission hold and then tosses Vaughn to the outside, where Wilson is waiting to attack him there. He whips Vaughn into the steel steps before tossing him back in where Santel makes the save again.
Northcutt holds Vaughn by a leg as he tries to reach for a tag…and manages to escape and make it! Santel comes in to a pop and is a HOUSE…EN…FUEGO~! He knocks down Northcutt with a flying forearm (the first time the Red Shirts were knocked down at all) but turns around to EAT a big boot. Vaughn comes back in to save Santel, but Wilson picks him up gorilla press style and tosses him over the top rope onto the ramp!
As the ref looks on, Erik Watts comes in as Northcutt has Santel in a double underhook position…turns him around and chokeslams him! He places Santel on top and the Black Shirts get the pinfall!
Winners: Black Shirt Security
My Opinion: Well…that was very interesting. The Black Shirts got mostly female pops from the crowd, almost as if Chris Vaughn was a Ricky Morton type babyface who the girls cheered because they thought the pretty boy was in danger. Since the Red Shirts are so intimidating with their size and stature and they seem to be coherent as a team, I can definitely see them coming into TNA’s tag division as dominant heel champs…but they jobbed in their first match.
This wasn’t much of a match as it was a squash, although they did do the standard face-in-peril formula for it. For that aspect and the big power moves that the Red Shirts used, I’ll give it 3/4 *
In the back, Scott Hudson is with Terry Taylor. He says that Taylor has “done it all”, even though the man has never held the World Title. That’s my definition of “doing it all”. Taylor tells him that he’s 48 years old and he’s not a wrestler anymore, but when you work so hard all to have it spit on by someone like Kash, he has to stand up for himself. He says that the one thing he’s learned over the years is that “you don’t go into a gunfight carrying a knife”.
Kid Kash (w/Abyss) vs. Terry Taylor
Match Background: For two consecutive weeks, Kid Kash continued his streak of disrespecting veterans by slapping Terry Taylor as Taylor was conducting a backstage interview. In a 4 way tag team match including himself and his tag team partner Abyss, Terry Taylor got a small bit of revenge by costing Kash the match with a low blow.
Tonight, Kid Kash will take on Terry Taylor, who hasn’t wrestled a match in about 8 years. Kid Kash has faced several veterans lately, such as Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Eaton and his mentor, Ricky Morton, coming out on top each and every time thanks to the interference of the huge Abyss.
The Match: During Taylor’s entrance, he stops before he enters the ring and turns around as America’s Most Wanted is going to be his back up tonight to try and stop Abyss from interfering.
Taylor takes off his rope and you can definitely tell that he’s lost a lot of definition over the years.
Kid Kash goes behind Taylor and slaps him in the back of the head as the match starts…and then shoves him after getting a waistlock, showing Taylor that he’s younger and quicker. Kash then armdrags Taylor before flexing in his face and taunting the crowd. Taylor then wins a lock up and hits a hard clothesline for a two count, causing Kash to bail at ringside where Abyss goes to tend to him. Kash shoves Abyss away, causing the big man to feel bad before going back into the ring.
Kash goes in and tries to get Taylor to fall for the spot where he tricks him into thinking he wants a Greco-Roman knuckle lock just to kick him in the midsection, but Taylor doesn’t get fooled. Taylor grabs the kick, dragon screws him down and puts on an anklelock until Kash is able to make the ropes. Kash gets up with a HARD punch to the face of Taylor and rains down some more punches to keep the advantage. Kash hooks on an armbar, but Taylor hits a jawbreaker to escape only to succumb to a swinging neckbreaker. Kash then springs off the top with a cross body for a two count. Kash sends Taylor to the outside for Abyss, but AMW throw him in first, so Abyss knocks them both down.
Kash turns around after watching this and gets him with two atomic drops and a clothesline in the corner. Taylor turns around and charges at Abyss with the clothesline, but Abyss catches him and hits the Black Hole as the ref is distracted by AMW. James Storm comes into the ring and sends Abyss to the outside before hitting a pescado on him. Harris spears Kash in the ring and puts Taylor on top for the pinfall!
Winner: Terry Taylor
My Opinion: This match was also very one sided until the final moments of it and Taylor getting the pinfall seems to have ended the Kash disrespecting legends storyline, so I’m all for it. The match wasn’t that great though as Taylor has lost more than a step and it was mostly Kash playing around with him until the end. 1/2*
In the “office” of Erik Watts (which looks a lot like the back of the Asylum), Vince Russo is yelling at Erik Watts about his decision on AJ Styles. He uses his bat to whack away the items on Watts’ table and gets upset. Watts tells him that if he wants to play games, he’s on.
Christopher Daniels (w/ Following) vs. Jeff Jarrett
Match Background: About two months ago, Christopher Daniels attacked Jeff Jarrett at the end of the show, making me mark out in the process. They had a few skirmishes since then, including a tag match and Jarrett breaking a guitar over his head in the 10 man Wargames match. Last week, Christopher Daniels sent three followers to attack Jeff Jarrett, but Jarrett took care of them with no problem. Earlier tonight, Erik Watts made this match between Daniels and Jarrett.
The Match: Daniels comes to the ring with his followers, who I’ve been informed are indy wrestlers “Spyder” Nate Webb, Alter Boy Luke and someone else that I forgot…
Tenay states that earlier tonight, Christopher Daniels told his followers not to interfere in the match because he wants them to learn from his in ring work.
They lock up with both men exchanging leg trips, but Jarrett gets the advantage with a back body drop, but Daniels clotheslines him over the top. One of his followers goes over to Jarrett, but Daniels tells him to back away. He rams Jarrett into the safety rail and goes back into the ring to spring himself over the top onto him, but Jarrett moves out of the way. Jarrett tosses him into another steel rail and tosses him back into the ring, leading to Jarrett to come off the top, only to get caught by a Daniels STO.
Daniels clotheslines Jarrett and works his neck over with a unique head scissors on the ring ropes. Daniels then works him over in the corner with boots before hitting a nice vertical suplex for a two count. Jarrett gets a sunset flip attempt for a two count, but Daniels counters with a leg lariat to keep the advantage. Daniels gives Jarrett a Rock Bottom before hitting the Double Jump Moonsault for a two count! Daniels then hooks on a VERY unique submission hold (part ab stretch, part hammerlock/neck vice) but Jarrett fights out of it. Jarrett hits an enziguiri on Daniels (hitting him in the shoulder instead of the back of the head) and connects with a gorgeous dropkick. Jarrett goes off the top with a cross body for two and a second attempt off the ropes is reversed by Daniels. In a spot that I’ve actually never seen, Daniels attempts a standing enziguiri but it’s BLOCKED by Jarrett and he goes to hook on the Figure Four!
Daniels rolls Jarrett up instead though for two and then hits a spinning back suplex. One of his followers distracts the referee as Daniels goes to the top and another follower goes into the ring to hold Jarrett in position. Jarrett kicks him off, sending him into the ropes and causing Daniels to crash onto the mat and Jarrett rolls him up for the pinfall.
Winner: Jeff Jarrett
After the match, Daniels yells at the follower who caused him to fall and makes him get on his knees. He takes a belt from the pants of another follower and starts whipping the HELL out of the first one! He devilishly smiles afterwards before leaving as the other two followers help the whipped one back up the ramp, following Daniels…
My Opinion: Making a match of this caliber on the spot like this was a bad business decision, in my opinion. This had the potential to be a money match and it should have been promoted ahead of time.
Now, we got a shorter version of what should have been a great match and now that Jarrett has defeated Daniels, he’s probably being shunted back to the midcard.
The match was technically sound and could have really been a good one if it had been given more time. The crowd didn’t react much because Daniels doesn’t have enough heat yet, but if he continues to do what he did after the match, he will. **
In the back, Scott Hudson is with Dusty Rhodes. He says that AJ Styles might be a Legend Killer (I think he’s watching the wrong program) but he (Dusty) is an Icon. See, that’s something that Michaels should have said to Orton…he called himself an Icon all the time in his last heel run.
3 Live Kru vs. Glenn Gilberti, Simon Diamond and David Young for the NWA Tag Team Titles
Match Background: Last week, 3 Live Kru won a 4 way tag team match in order to become the number one contenders to the new tag team champions, Simon Diamond and Johnny Swinger. The title match was scheduled to take place tonight, but Johnny Swinger’s appendix BURST and he had to undergo emergency surgery, so the two on two match will probably take place another night.
Earlier on in the show, Gilberti, Diamond and Young attacked 3 Live Kru as they performed at the top of the show, leading to the 6 man tag team match tonight. David Young also hasn’t been on the show in quite some time…
The Match: For those of you confused at home, don’t worry….I am too. I don’t understand how the tag titles can be on the line in a 6 man tag, especially since only one member of the tag champions is involved.
3 Live Kru come out to their new single which SUCKS compared to Truth’s TNA theme.
All 6 men brawl at the start with 3 Live Kru clearing the ring and Konnan gets on the mic. He hits his usual shtick for the crowd and NOW the match is ready to start.
Konnan and Simon Diamond start out with Konnan doing a whole bunch of nothing just to poke Diamond in the eye in the corner and shove his crotch into Simon’s face. He gets the rolling clothesline and tags out to B.G. James who hooks up with David Young. Young ducks all of James’ punches onto to CLOCK James with a hard clothesline, but ends up playing a pinball for the faces and Truth comes off the top with a legdrop to Young’s groin.
Gilberti tags in and locks up with The Truth and hits a hard clothesline. He works him over in the corner but Truth floats over Gilberti as he’s whipped into the far corner and hits his split/leg lariat combo for two. Truth picks Gilberti up and hits a powerslam for a second two count, but after a distraction by Diamond, gets dropkicked in the knee by Gilberti. Gilberti goes after the knee with a scissor stomp and Diamond comes in to work on Truth some more. Truth fights back, but ends up in the Simon Series, which he ends this time with a Northern Lights Suplex for two instead of a front suplex (probably out of respect for the fact that a front suplex is Truth’s finisher).
David Young comes in and this another hard clothesline on Truth before letting Gilberti back in. Truth avoids a Stunner and hits a spinning axe kick and both men are down now. That spot bugs me as Truth could have easily tagged someone instead of hitting that axe kick…and if he has enough energy to do that, he can get up and tag someone right now.
Gilberti tags in Young as B.G. James comes in and he’s a HOUSE…EN…FUEGO~! He hits the Shake, Rattle & Roll punches on all three men as well as the Crazy Legs Knee Drop on Diamond for a broken up two count before attempting a Pumphandle Slam on Young. Gilberti breaks that up, but Konnan comes in and gives him an X-Factor…only to get hit with a superkick by Simon Diamond that missed by a MILE as Konnan fell too early. Terrible camera angle…
Truth gets a superkick as well, but when Diamond goes for a third on James, who is being held by Young, James moves out of the way and Young takes it in the face (and he leaned in like a MAN). Truth then comes off the top rope with a front missile dropkick on Diamond and James clotheslines him out of the ring. Truth then goes flying over the top rope with a big plancha on him…and when James goes to pull Gilberti back into the ring, Gilberti smacks him in the face with a chair, causing James to stumble into Young’s SNAP SPINEBUSTER~! for the three count.
My Opinion: This was a nice little six man, although Konnan seemed to always bring it down a notch every time he was in the ring. 3 Live Kru definitely have good chemistry with each other…actually, just Truth and James do. Young fits in with Gilberti and Diamond well and even though he’s the replacement, they allowed him to get the pin, which was surprising. Hopefully, 3 Live Kru will still get a real tag title shot somewhere down the line as Simon and Swinger definitely can use some face opponents besides AMW. **1/4.
Tenay yells that something is going on outside…and AJ and Dusty have already started up!
AJ Styles vs. Dusty Rhodes in a Bunkhouse Brawl
Match Background: Last week, when Vince Russo threatened to leave TNA with AJ Styles, Dusty Rhodes came down to the ring in order to try and talk some sense to AJ. After seemingly convincing Styles not to follow Russo and be his own man, Styles attacked him, leading to tonight’s match.
The Match: As the camera catches up with them, AJ is punching away at Dusty in front of a pick up truck outside with Vince Russo yelling at them. AJ grabs a bat and goes to swing it at Dusty, but he catches it (BULLSHIT) and punches AJ. They brawl on the grass and Russo hits Dusty with a boot…only for Dusty to punch AJ in the groin. Scott Hudson is doing the announcing on the outside as Dusty tosses AJ into a truck and then a wooden fence.
AJ does the same to him, but Dusty picks up a garbage can and hits AJ in the head with it. They make their way into the ring as the brawl continues…and Russo hits Dusty with a boot again. Dusty gets up and smacks AJ in the head with his other boot as Dusty is now barefoot…and then puts the boot on his hand, using it like a boxing glove. Russo throws the other boot at Dusty’s head to give Styles the advantage and Styles sends him into the ring. Styles takes his belt off and wraps it around Dusty’s throat to choke him out.
Russo starts to choke Dusty with the belt in the corner as AJ pulls his pants down to reveal his briefs and taunts Rhodes to kiss his ass. Rhodes smacks Russo away and hits a Bionic Elbow on Styles. He then bends him over and pulls down his briefs to spank AJ’s BARE ASS!
AJ goes to the outside to fix his pants as Dusty looks to whip Russo…and as Russo looks to crawl out of the ring, Jeff Jarrett comes down the ramp! Trinity, wearing a short red dress, blows past Jarrett and goes into the ring to try and save Vince Russo…so Jarrett pulls her dress up, revealing a NICE ass and a red thong and Dusty spanks her a few times!
Russo takes Trinity out of the ring as Styles joins them and backs up the ramp as the match is rated a no contest.
Winner: No Contest
My Opinion: While not a technical marvel by any means, this was damn sure entertaining. The brawling wasn’t exactly excellent, but was passable and the antics towards the end were just hilarious. *1/2.
We get next week’s line up as Sonny Siaki & Ekmo will take on Shark Boy & Mad Mikey, Jerry Lynn will take on Michael Shane for the X Title and Kid Kash & Abyss will take on AMW.
During the hard sell, AJ Styles comes to the announce table with a mic. He gets on THE STICK~! and says that he’s never been so embarrassed…EVER! “Dusty, you may be into spanking men’s butts…but I’m not cool with that! Maybe you are…but I’M NOT!!!” AJ is hilarious when he’s embarrassed. “I didn’t get respect by marrying the boss’ daughter…I get respect because I earned it”. He challenges Dusty to a match for the NWA Title…but Russo interrupts to tell him that won’t be happening. Styles: “Zip it, Vince, I know what I’m doing!”
Russo reiterates that it won’t happen because that’s what they WANT! Instead, they’ll just be a tag team match, Jeff Jarrett & Dusty Rhodes vs. AJ Styles and Vince Russo next week.
A video package for Raven/Douglas is shown…but with a parental advisory warning as “the following contains graphic footage”. They emphasize and give a close up to Douglas blowing his chunks in the middle of last week’s Hair vs. Hair match…and then show how Mitchell literally drew blood from Raven’s head from shaving his hair off too hard. OUCH.
This leads to an interview between Scott Hudson and Father James Mitchell, who gloats about the fact that he “scalped” Raven. He says that now, Raven knows the real meaning of pain, loss and humiliation. “How did it feel, when I took those shears with those shark like teeth and drove them into your skull again and again and again…to watch clumps of your flesh hit the mat in a bloody pile next to your hair?” James Mitchell is an AWESOME promo.
Raven, CM Punk & Julio vs. Shane Douglas, Slash and Sinn in a Dogcollar Match
Match Background: As long as Raven has been feuding with Shane Douglas and the New Church, the Gathering has always been there to back him up. In the latest chapter in the saga, Raven was shaved bald last week after Vampiro debuted up and interjected himself in the match on Shane Douglas’ behalf, giving the Franchise the win in a Hair vs. Hair match. Tonight, the Gathering will once again be by Raven’s side as he takes on Douglas and the Disciples of the New Church, Slash and Sinn in a Dogcollar Match.
The Match: As Raven’s music hits, he and the Gathering come running down to the ring with the Dogcollars and Raven smacks Douglas in the head with the chain. The heels are tossed into the ring and they’re attached to the collars immediately. Raven is tied to Douglas, Punk with Slash and Sinn with Julio.
Raven punches away at Douglas’ forehead with the chain, who blades immediately. Raven, Punk and Julio go to the outside and use the chain to pull their counterparts into the steel posts. Raven wraps the chain around Douglas’ neck and puts on a Cobra Clutch, but Slash breaks it up. Slash is busted open as well as the heels take over with the chains. Slash busts Punk open…and then wraps the chain around his MOUTH as Punk screams in the corner!
Slash clotheslines Punk in the chest with the chain around his arm and he continues the onslaught. On the outside, Douglas busts Raven open with the chain and does the same thing that Slash did to Punk. Slash on the outside, drags Punk with the chain, causing Punk to slide onto the floor and smack hard on the outside. Slash then takes Punk and flips him on the ramp as Sinn works over Julio using the steel steps and smacking him in the face with the chain.
In the ring, Douglas clotheslines Raven with the chain and Douglas realizes that he’s bleeding after watching the Tron, causing him to whoop Raven’s ass some more. All 6 men are in the ring now and Slash comes off the top with the chain onto Punk. All 3 heels get on the top rope…and both Slash and Sinn are pulled down as Raven crotches Douglas. Raven and Julio knock down the other 2 heels in the ring …and then Raven low blows Douglas with the chain. Punk and Julio double bulldog Douglas and then all 3 hit mounted punches in the corner with the steel chains and whip them into each other.
In the ring, Julio pins Sinn, but we miss the finish…
Winners: Raven, Julio & CM Punk
Vampiro comes down the ramp to attack and the heels take the upper hand. Slash hits the whirly bird on Punk with the chain around his neck and then they take he, Julio and Raven towards the balcony. Vampiro directs traffic as they hand Raven & The Gathering to close the show.
My Opinion: Decent brawl that was very energetic as all six men worked hard and surprisingly enough, Douglas didn't blow chunks this week. Sinn still seems lost in the ring though. This match would have been rated higher, but the cameraman blew the finish. **1/2
Overall: This was a decent show, although nothing was mindblowingly great. The X Division match and the dogcollar match were the two highlights of this show, but nothing comes even close to the Super X Tourney show. It was definitely a step up from last week’s though.
Where was D’Lo Brown tonight? It’s a little odd that Sonny Siaki would move to a program with Shark Boy and Mad Mikey for no reason and with no mention of D’Lo whatsoever. I like the AMW/ Kid Kash & Abyss match for next week because it keeps AMW out of the title picture for the time being.
Well, next week’s line up seems to be decent, so check back here next week for Dames’ Diatribe.
‘Til next time,
“The Dames”, Damian Gonzalez
You can read some of my older material in the TSM Archives, found HERE.
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