I'm sure you're all familiar with the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon "game". There's a website at oracleofbacon.org that lets you type in an actor's name and it tells you how many links it takes to get from that actor to Kevin Bacon. Hulk Hogan is only 2 hops away, as is Roddy Piper & The Rock. Well, if you didn't know, iMDB lists wrestling shows & PPVs among it's database. So, following someone else's suggestion, I punched in Steve (II) Lombardi (the first Steve Lombardi is a stage hand or some such) and low and behold, Steve (II) Lombardi has a Kevin Bacon number of infinity. Kevin Bacon jobbed to The Brooklyn Brawler! I demand a HHH vs. Kevin Bacon match to determine who faces The Brawler at Wrestlemania.
I thought it sounded fishy, too, so I checked it out. Since the Brawler has never appeared in a FEATURE FILM, he cannot be connected to ANYONE. Otherwise, you'd just have to add one extra step to get him to any wrestler he's ever appeared on a show with who was in a feature film. The challenge is for someone to find a movie in which he had an uncredited appearance.
Using Kayfabe, I'll connect Bacon to Brawler. Hogan is connected to Bacon. Hogan used to destroy members of the Heenan Family. Brawler was a member of the Heenan Family during the Red Rooster Feud. Thus, Kayfabe wins.
I want you to know, I agree with everything I've just said.
"HHH, you should probably do the job here to put RVD over for the good of the company." "Vince, I'm just a caveman! I was out hunting when I fell in some ice and was unfrozen by your scientists. Your future world frightens and confuses me. You say these words like "job" and "put over" and "good of the company" but my primative mind can't grasp these concepts!"---Vince Mcmahon/Unfrozen Caveman Wrestler, Dr. Unlikely 17.9.02
I'll just assume that the Magnum went to your head so fast that you forgot it was Paul Lauria, not Paul Laurier. Other than that, more great stuff from the Dean, although I would like him to add "Emotional kicks to the gut" into the lexicon.