I'm living with a buddy of mine in his house. This is his first Spring in the house, and we've noticed some VERY bizarre bird behavior over the past few weeks.
First off, birds love the garage. If we leave the garage door up (and don't go near it) for more than a few minutes, two or three birds will fly right in and hang out. Sometimes they just sit on the work bench and sing their bird songs. Every morning when I go out to my car, there's at least one bird repeatedly flying up to (and into) the windows on the garage doors. There are actually bird prints on the windows, because they try to scratch and claw their way into the garage.
I park my car outside of the garage, as we're fixing up the house and the garage is full of things like new siding, hardwood floors, new and old appliances, etc., and every morning last week and this week there have been about a dozen birds on both cars in the driveway. Needless to say, they seem to enjoy pooping all over the damn things, and my car is covered with awful looking (and in some case, smelling) bird poop, plus a large coating of what appears to be dirt, but could also very well be more bird poop. And feathers, possibly stuck in what appears to be more bird poop. The guy at the car wash is getting all my money. This isn't normal "birds will be birds" poop, either. I've never seen so much bird poop, and I grew up in the middle of a forest full of wild animals.
There are no trees over the driveway, and, from what I've observed from the window, the birds simply perch on the cars and do their business for several minutes on end (I've watched for almost 10 minutes some mornings), while alternatively trying to fly into the garage.
Somebody at work suggested one of those owl statues (or some other predatory bird statue), but do they work? Everybody's got an opinion, and I was also told they were a waste of money. Would a simple statue save my car from getting intimately acquainted with birds?
My brother in law worked maintenance in a hospital, and it was one of those that had an outside porch area on the roof of the lower levels. It's a nice area for family to bring a recovering patient outside to get a little sunshine and fresh air, and the volunteers/women's auxiliary bring flower boxes etc. out there, and also allow family members to smoke outside the hospital. My brother-in-law was constantly cleaning up bird mess all over the patio furniture. Finally, his boss told him to install one of those owl statues, and it has made a huge difference in the amount of crap he has to clean up. There are a few birds who land on the statue, but most avoid it now, as do the squirrels.
They replace it with a bird feeder in the winter, so patients can watch birds feed from their windows.
Update (for the two people that care): The fake owl has been bought, it is now keeping watch over the driveway, and my friend/landlord has been told that he is white trash by his girlfriend. We'll see how the cars look tomorrow morning. I'm confident.
My car is slate grey, the homeowner's car is red, and his girlfriend's car is black. The birds have not discriminated against one color, however the car parked farthest back from the house seems to get less birds for some reason. It's some sort of bird poop inverse square law (bird poop intensity decreases as you get farther away from the garage).
For what it is worth, the last scene of Man on the Moon showed Clifton performing, and then had a pan out into the crowd where Giamatti (as Bob Zmuda) was sitting watching the show. So it's not like Zmuda hasn't brought this up before.