The 6 Most Disturbing Moments in WWE History
By: Chris Fothergill-Brown
As fans of professional wrestling, we've come to accept that they do their best to provide entertainment for everyone. Whether you like the Cruiserweights flying around, or the heavyweights trading blows, or freakshow sides like Hornswoggle, they try to appease all appetites.
From time to time though, Vince McMahon undergoes bouts of insanity. And when you control careers like a human game of The Sims, it never takes long for these moments to find their way to our TV screens.
WWE Christmas Party - December 2006
Jon Heidenreich may be remembered for a lot of oddball behavior. Whether it was reading poetry to young children, asking for career advice from an imaginary friend named "Little Johnny", his most uncomfortable moment came at the hands of Michael Cole.
In the summer of 2004, Michael Cole was in the midst of calling a match when out of nowhere Heidenreich grabbed him from the announce booth and dragged him to the back. Moments later, the pair were seen in the dark confines of a closet, with Michael Cole pinned against the wall.
Heidenreich was breathing heavily in his ear, telling Cole that they share the same desires. He proceeded to lock the door and promised Michael he was going to give him what he wanted.
Exactly what he wanted!
Coming back from a commercial break, the pair were face to face, and Heidenreich read him a poem. Once completed, more grinding ensued, before Heidenreich demanded a thank you, and finally Michael Cole was released, where presumably he curled up into the fetal position in a hot shower, trying to scrub the nightmare away.
5) Gene Snitsky's Fetish
No stranger to controversy, Gene Snitsky made his debut in September of 2004 by causing Kane to fall onto his wife Lita, which led to a miscarriage. While clearly not his fault, Snitsky ran with his TV time and inexplicably became something of a cult favorite over a period of a couple of months.
Not his fault.
Unfortunately, the baby killer angle ran its course in relatively short order, and after a homoerotic love affair with the aforementioned Jon Heidenreich (in which they mutually agreed they enjoyed each other's poetry and baby skills), Snitsky needed a new activity.
That activity was feet.
Yes feet. Snitsky could be seen on RAW sniffing up any pair of feet he could get his hands on. And while he was seen as a freak by pretty much everyone not named Goldust, Snitsky did find a willing couple to allow him to play out his fantasies on TV.
Smells like fetus!
Lita was once again a central plot in Snitsky's career, because Edge offered to let him have "a go at 'em" if he assisted the duo against Kane. The entire scene was painful, and left audiences stomachs churning in disgust. Naturally it's considered one of the greatest moments in TV history by Shooting Star Press.
4) The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust
The shock, surprise, and horror of Shooting Star Press was difficult to contain when at a recent House Show, it was found that most of the kids in attendance loved Goldust because "he's that funny gold guy".
While we hate to bring rain upon anyone's parade, for the love of all that is holy, this man is a raging homosexual with sticky fingers and is not afraid to use them.
He's not afraid to use that, either.
Going beyond the bounds of good taste, in late 1997 he claimed he just wanted to be a good husband, devoted to his wife Terri. However, Terri's services were won by Brian Pillman, and she proceeded to fuck him to death. Goldy had enough and traded her in for Luna Vachon, before renouncing Goldust and becoming The Artist Formerly Known as Goldust.
The Artist turned in his usual threads for a green bodysuit, pink hair, and enough S&M gear to put any classy sex shop to shame. The g-rated days of him begging Razor Ramon to give him a taste of his machismo were dead and gone, and The Artist was here, ready to unleash whatever horror the network would allow without pulling the plug on the show.
The metallic nipples and lacy thong are a nice touch.
Thankfully, The Artist was shortlived, and before too long we returned to good old sensible Goldust, finding love with The Blue Meanie who insisted upon calling him Mommy while Goldust had sex with Ryan Shamrock. You know, normal, classy wrestling stuff.
3) Oh Sweet Jesus!
Long before Mark Henry was the silverback gorilla he is today, he was once the WWE's answer to Barry White, assuming Barry was an incestuous sex-crazed lunatic.
Can't get enough of your love, Kurt.
His troubled past which involved making sweet love to his baby sister aside, Henry decided to ratchet up the unconfortable level to new highs by persuing Chyna. Chyna wanted nothing to do with his advances however, and told Henry as much by continually doing damage to his plums.
Henry was so driven for lovin' that when Chyna offered up her friend Sammy, he could hardly say no. And there live on RAW, we were treated to Henry receiving a blowjob from an obvious transvestite (and we don't mean Chyna). Always the last one to the party, Henry only managed to put two and two together when we went to grab himself a Loot Bag to discover that "Oh! Sweet Jesus! You have a penis!"
Years later ironically enough, X-Pac would make a similar discovery ...
2) Choppy Choppy
Following Bret Hart's depature from the WWF, the Attitude era swung into hyper levels of discomfort. DX were cursing up a storm on television, The Nation of Domination were bringing racism to a whole new light, and a porn star named Val Venis debuted in a towel.
On hiatus from the adult industry, or perhaps simply excluded for testing positive for chlamydia, Val Venis decided to become a professional wrestler. In order to let the fans know he was a serious competitor, Val Venis shot a series of x-rated vignettes that had nothing to do with wrestling at all.
This is wrestling!
Eventually though, Val had to justify his contract by actually wrestling one or two matches. This drew the ire of a group of Japanese wrestlers named Kai-En-Tai, lead by Yamaguchi San, for whatever reason, and before you knew it, Val Venis was banging his wife. This was par for the course in 1998.
Yamaguchi San wasn't going to take this lying down (unlike his wife!), and enlisting the help of a sausage and samurai sword, he promised to "choppy choppy your pee pee!" Well that was all fine and dandy until the next week, when Yamaguchi San kidnapped Val and through the magic of silhouttes, lived up to his promise.
Having absolutely no way to get out of this ridiculous storyline, the WWF opted to go the extreme route by having Val admit that "a little shrinkage" saved him, along with an appearance from John Wayne Bobbitt. Yamaguchi San immediately disappeared from TV, and the angle was never mentioned again.
1) Forever Young
Ay yes, the holy grail of cringe worthy moments. Newer fans probably know her as the crazy old broad who comes out to dry hump Vince McMahon once a year - but anyone who was around during the Attitude era was subjected to far worse.
In late 1999, Moolah and Mae Young were re-introduced to WWE storylines as a couple of crazy old bitches - a stretch for sure. These wild ladies knew a good time when they saw it, and once The Kat slipped out of her top on pay-per-view, Mae Young started sharing her desire to show the world HER puppies.
Forget the fact she was well into her 80's at this point, that wouldn't stop our daring exhibitionist. Entering the "Miss Royal Rumble" pageant, Young pulled out all the stops and revealed her breasts that hung to her knees, live for the world to see.
The lucky viewers who went permanantly blind were thankfully spared what followed. Pictured behind Mae is her boyfriend, the previously mentioned Mark Henry. Done with transvestite blowjobs, Sexual Chocolate had moved on to boning ladies three times his age. The original GGILF hunter.
Shortly after the pair started humping, Mae announced her pregnancy. Seeing as how no wrestling pregnancy has ever been seen through from start to finish, there was no doubt that this one would end quickly. But how?
Always quick witted when trapped in a corner, the WWE had the perfect escape; Mae Young would deliver the baby about 6 weeks into her pregnancy. And sure enough, after taking a fall on one of the shows, Mae complained about pain and was rushed backstage. Doctors told her she was dialated, and moments later, out popped a hand.
Dear reader, while we here at Shooting Star Press wish we were lying, we are not. Mae Young gave birth to a jellied blue hand.
She and Henry never publically broke up, and the WWE deciding that they'd received enough viewer backlash quietly dropped the whole thing. Well, sorta. They had to do something with the hand. Legend has it Mark Henry continued to care for his newborn until it was old enough to venture off into the world on its own. And following in its father's footsteps, it too became a fixture of professional wrestling.
Shooting Star Press ... is back!
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