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The W - Music - The 2004 Fuzzies - RESULTS!
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OlFuzzyBastard
Knackwurst








Since: 28.4.02
From: Pittsburgh, PA

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#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.69
Like with the nominees, I'm just cutting and copying from my blog, so if any of the comments don't make sense, I apologize in advance.






BREAKTHROUGH ARTIST:
  • 4th: H.I.M. (5.16%)
  • 3rd: Eagles of Death Metal (6.88%)
  • 2nd: Kanye West (18.92%)
  • 1st: Modest Mouse (22.36%)
  • WINNER: Franz Ferdinand (46.44%)
Right off the bat, you guys are spot-on. (I might've gotten Kanye West to second myself, but whatever...) Franz Ferdinand didn't record a track that doesn't deserve radio oversaturation. Easily the deserving winners here.


WORST COVER SONG/PARODY:
  • 4th: "Welcome Back" - Ma$e (11.48%)
  • 3rd: "Love Song" - 311 (13.12%)
  • 2nd: "Car Wash" - Christina Aguilera, Lil Kim and Missy Elliott (16.40%)
  • 1st: "Another Brick In The Wall - Part II" - Korn (27.88%)
  • WINNER: "She Bangs" - William Hung (31.16%)
I guess - I mean, sure that song sucks, but it's kinda the point of it. It exists to be ridiculed, whereas someone like Korn honestly thought they were bringing a whole new level of meaning and resonance to a classic, while making it sound like the same unlistenable piece of dreary shit they've heaped upon us time and time again. That's a deserving winner.

(Of course, the real deserving winner came in last - Ma$e, arguably the worst MC of the last decade, returns with one of those just-change-the-words songs that he and Puffy were known for during their heyday. And he used the theme from "Welcome Back, Kotter". If there's anything in the world that could possibly be worse than that, I don't know what it is.)


COVER SONG/PARODY of the YEAR:
  • 4th: "(What's So Funny About) Peace, Love and Understanding?" - Chris Cornell and Maynard James Keenan (15.75%)
  • 3rd: "Head Like A Hole" - A.F.I. (17.50%)
  • 2nd: "Fell In Love With A Boy" - Joss Stone (19.25%)
  • 1st: "Masters of War" - Pearl Jam (21%)
  • WINNER: "Mad World" - Gary Jules (26.25%)
Bit of a suprise here - it's a damn good song, but he beat some real heavyhitters. I suppose the cult of Donnie Darko grows bigger and bigger. (Amazingly, this song wasn't released as a single until this year.)


MOST OVERPLAYED SONG:
  • 4th: "Anthem of our Dying Day" - Story of the Year (11.27%)
  • 3rd: "Milkshake" - Kelis (16.1%)
  • 2nd: "Vertigo" - U2 (17.71%)
  • 1st: "My Band" - D-12 (19.32%)
  • WINNER: "This Love" - Maroon 5 (35.42%)
Not that Maroon 5 wasn't overplayed - I could go the rest of my life without hearing that song - I can't believe anything won this that wasn't "Vertigo". That song has been everywhere for the past four months. I swear, if I hear that overhyped arrogant bastard with the messiah complex shout out that "1, 2, 3, 40" thing again, I'm going to hurt someone.


COMPILATION/SOUNDTRACK of the YEAR:
  • 4th: "The Spongebob Squarepants Movie" (8%)
  • 3rd: "Future Soundtrack for America" (12%)
  • 2nd: "Songs and Artists That Inspired Fahrenheit 9/11" (14%)
  • 1st: "Kill Bill - Volume 2" (32%)
  • WINNER: "Garden State" (34%)
This thing had been a tie pretty much consistantly between those top two nominees. I break all ties (and never tell anyone which I had to break), and I'm so glad a last minute voter saved me from having to figure this one out, because they're both damn near perfect film soundtracks - good songs that actually figured into the movie that convey the same sense of emotion that you would feel watching the film.

Although, on the same token, the pure blast of indie-rock happiness that was the Spongebob Squarepants soundtrack deserved a bit more love. There was a Flaming Lips song called "Spongebob and Patrick Confront The Psychic Wall of Energy", for god's sake.


PROTEST ALBUM of the YEAR:
  • 4th: "Future Soundtrack for America" (3.92%)
  • 3rd: "Songs and Artists That Inspired Fahrenheit 9/11" (11.76%)
  • 2nd: "Rock Against Bush - Volumes 1 and 2" (19.6%)
  • 1st: "The Empire Strikes First" - Bad Religion (23.52%)
  • WINNER: "To The 5 Boroughs" - The Beastie Boys (41.16%)
I just hope if we're stuck with the boy prince for another four years, the music industry doesn't admit defeat and keeps the incredibly refreshing sense of rebellion that was (finally) reborn this year and this award can become a regular feature instead of the election-year offshoot I'm worried it's going to be.


WORST MUSIC VIDEO of the YEAR:
  • 4th: "Stand and Choose" - VG Unity (1.82%)
  • 3rd: "1985" - Bowling For Soup (12.74%)
  • 2nd: "Predictable" - Good Charlotte (23.66%)
  • 1st: "Toxic" - Britney Spears (24%)
  • WINNER: "Just Lose It" - Eminem (64%)
As hilariously bad as all these videos were, Eminem's "controversial", yet suprisingly safe "Just Lose It" video was the only choice here. (Jokes about Pee-Wee Herman and Hammer? Oh my god, this is the edgiest video of 1992! Seriously, it was gustier when he was yelling at puppets.) Although, I think I must've been the only one who saw the train wreck that was VG Unity's "Stand and Choose". Dozens of video game characters dancing and rapping about voter registration - and it's not even as cool as it sounds.


MUSIC VIDEO of the YEAR:
  • 4th: "Walkie Talkie Man" - Steriogram (10.94%)
  • 3rd: "Megalomaniac" - Incubus (18.2%)
  • 2nd: "Experimental Film" - They Might Be Giants (20.02%)
  • 1st: "Afternoon Delight" - Will Ferrell (23.66%)
  • WINNER: "Mosh" - Eminem (27.3%)
And Eminem wins both the positive and negative awards in the same category. That's never happened before - and I can't imagine it happening again. Still, as much as I hate the guy, "Mosh" was a damn fine video and the most powerful "Vote Motherfucker" clip of the year, hands down. That thing stirred the blood.

(I did kinda hope that They Might Be Giants' Strong Sad/The Cheat directed clip would've taken this one, although I long since reserved myself to the fact that the Eminem video was better. It's a lion!)


WORST SONG of the YEAR:
  • 4th: "1985" - Bowling For Soup (12.04%)
  • 3rd: "Fuck You (I Don't Want You Back)" - Eamon (13.76%)
  • 2nd: "Back When" - Tim McGraw (18.92%)
  • 1st: "Milkshake" - Kelis (22.36%)
  • WINNER: "Just Lose It" - Eminem (64%)
(Forget the grade-school student swearing of Eamon, the pathetic "please give us a hit" name-dropping of Bowling For Soup, the inanity of Kelis and the hilariously awful lyrics of Tim McGraw - Eminem wrote a fart into this song. I would say Eminem "just lost it", if I thought he ever had it to begin with. How could anything else compete?)


BEST SONG (NONSINGLE):
  • 4th: "No One Left" - The Nightwatchman (10.65%)
  • 3rd: "F The CC" - Steve Earle (17.04%)
  • 2nd: "Family Business" - Kanye West (19.16%)
  • 1st: "Let Them Eat War" - Bad Religion (24%)
  • WINNER: "All You Can Eat" - Ben Folds (64%)
Thanks for voting in the annual "I've never heard any of these songs, but I usually like this guy" award! You made the right choice, most likely through no fault of your own!


BEST SONG (SINGLE):
  • 4th: "Mexican Wine" - Fountains of Wayne (6.44%)
  • 3rd: "Portland, Oregon" - Loretta Lynn feat. Jack White (14.49%)
  • 2nd: "Roses" - Outkast (16.1%)
  • 1st: "American Idiot" - Green Day (28.98%)
  • WINNER: "Take Me Out" - Franz Ferdinand (33.81%)
Only one real choice here - you made it. Good for you.


WORST ARTIST of the YEAR:
  • 4th: Janet Jackson (3.38%)
  • 3rd: D-12 (11.83%)
  • 2nd: Usher (18.59%)
  • 1st: Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey (28.73%)
  • WINNER: Ashlee Simpson (37.18%)
*sigh* Poor Ashlee - to suck so hard that she blew away her sister and brother-in-law, that's impressive. (It's not so much that she lip-synced - trust me, they all do - it's her absolute refusal to do anything but try to pin the blame on everyone but herself. Plus anyone who rises to popularity due to a bad reality show earns extra shame points.)

Of course, she never subjected us to the Ashlee Simpson Variety Hour, so I still think you chose the wrong family member, but whatever.


ARTIST of the YEAR:
  • 4th: Fat Mike (7.28%)
  • 3rd: The Clarks (9.1%)
  • 2nd: Bruce Springsteen (16.38%)
  • 1st: The Beastie Boys (27.3%)
  • WINNER: Green Day (34.58%)
Um, I agree?


WORST ALBUM of the YEAR:
  • 4th: "Spider-Man 2" (3.5%)
  • 3rd: "America's Sweetheart" - Courtney Love (15.75%)
  • 2nd: "Damita Jo" - Janet Jackson (17.5%)
  • 1st: "Passion of the Christ: Songs" (26.25%)
  • WINNER: "Inspiration" - William Hung (38.5%)
I think you all forgot to truly think about the concept of "Songs Inspired By The Passion of the Christ".


ALBUM of the YEAR:
  • 4th: "College Dropout" - Kanye West (8.6%)
  • 3rd: "Van Lear Rose" - Loretta Lynn (10.32%)
  • 2nd: "To The 5 Boroughs" - The Beastie Boys (17.2%)
  • 1st: "Franz Ferdinand" - Franz Ferdinand (24.08%)
  • WINNER: "American Idiot" - Green Day (39.56%)
Album of the Year, nothing. Album of the Decade. Album of the last twenty fucking years. That thing is damn near perfect. Nothing else could possibly compete (and it was scaring the hell out of me when Franz Ferdinand was ahead for about the first three days of voting). Nothing.

FUZZYMcHALL OF FAME 2004 INDUCTEES:
  • LAST: Ozzy Osbourne (3.72%)
  • 6th: Weezer (6.51%)
  • 5th: Rage Against The Machine (7.44%)
  • 4th: Beck (8.37%)
  • 3rd: They Might Be Giants (9.3%)
  • 2nd: Nine Inch Nails (10.23%)
  • 1st: Bob Marley and the Wailers (11.16%)
  • WINNER: Elvis Costello (12.09%)
  • WINNER: Ray Charles (14.88%)
  • WINNER: The Who (15.81%)

The Who, Ray Charles and Elvis Costello are in - Ozzy's out (blame his family's overexposure for that one). Bob Marley is the first runner up for, I believe, the fifth straight year. Pretty much what I expected.




The results are IN for the 2004 FUZZIES!
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Jaguar
Knackwurst








Since: 23.1.02
From: Phoenix, AZ

Since last post: 258 days
Last activity: 59 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.01
It's "1, 2, 3, 14" by the way. And Steve Earle wasn't nominated for enough stuff.

-Jag





CoH Addict. Altaholic in denial. I love it!

Coach of the Official WIENER LEAGUE 2 Fantasy Footbal Champions - YOUR WYOMING COWBOYS!
Grimis
Scrapple








Since: 11.7.02
From: MD

Since last post: 1329 days
Last activity: 1126 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.29
    Originally posted by OlFuzzyBastard
    I just hope if we're stuck with the boy prince for another four years, the music industry doesn't admit defeat and keeps the incredibly refreshing sense of rebellion that was (finally) reborn this year and this award can become a regular feature instead of the election-year offshoot I'm worried it's going to be.
The protest music from the 60's and 70's was good music, protesting against societal norms, etc.

This protest music bitches because a Republican won. It will have a shelf life much like that of Nada Surf Milli Vanilli....

(edited by Grimis on 19.1.05 0748)

Present and accounted for...
drjayphd
Scrapple
Moderator








Since: 22.4.02
From: Long Island

Since last post: 17 days
Last activity: 6 days
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Y!:
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.48
You wanted the best, you got... Out of Context Quote of the Week.

"Jeez, some people seem to think anything short of Vince bending over and spreading his asscheeks is a slap in the face." (Hogan's My Dad)


    Originally posted by Grimis
    This protest music bitches because a Republican won. It will have a shelf life much like that of Nada Surf....


Which is to say, coming back after a couple of years, only a whole hell of a lot better and more well-regarded. Thanks!



DEAN:

"Jiminy fucking Crickets, someone needs to write a Gordon Lightfoot-esque song- "The Ballad Of What The Fuck Just Flew Out Of Dean's Ass"."
J. Kyle
Boudin blanc








Since: 21.2.02
From: The Land of Aloha

Since last post: 14 days
Last activity: 14 days
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Y!:
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.08
X-E's co-Worst Poster of all time! JKyle.com says:

Good year for Green Day.

Next time Weezer.

And hell maybe next year No Use For a Name can get nominated. The mainstream stole everyone else worth stealing... it HAS to be their turn.

(edited by AngryJohnny on 19.1.05 1538)



Back where the women could care less about me
Peter The Hegemon
Lap cheong








Since: 11.2.03
From: Hackettstown, NJ

Since last post: 35 days
Last activity: 15 hours
#6 Posted on
    Originally posted by OlFuzzyBastard
    Not that Maroon 5 wasn't overplayed - I could go the rest of my life without hearing that song - I can't believe anything won this that wasn't "Vertigo". That song has been everywhere for the past four months. I swear, if I hear that overhyped arrogant bastard with the messiah complex shout out that "1, 2, 3, 40" thing again, I'm going to hurt someone.



As I was reading this, I was simultaneously playing "Vertigo" on my radio show. (Not voluntarily, of course--like just about everyone in commercial radio, I can play any song I want, as long as it's the next one programmed into the computer.)

But I still find Maroon5 more annoying. Among others.
PalpatineW
Lap cheong








Since: 2.1.02
From: Getting Rowdy

Since last post: 2889 days
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#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.00
Green Day?

"American Idiot" could have been written by any state school communication major (I was one, once!) It's "OMG bush sux media is evil brainwashing kill your tv!!" set to a catchy tune.

And "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" is emo-trash. If crappy emo/punk wasn't popular with the kids these days, that song never gets written.


    ...that arrogant bastard...


Bono is kind of annoying, but at least he's doing things he believes in, even that just means lobbying governments for money. Dude's just trying to do a good turn for millions of dying Africans. Meanwhile the Beastie Boys and Green Day are heroes because they don't like Republicans. How bold and shocking!


    I think you all forgot to truly think about the concept of "Songs Inspired By The Passion of the Christ".


I dislike contemporary Christian rock as much as the next guy, but people we're supposed to vote it as horrible based on the fact that... some people believe in Jesus and wrote music about it?

Also Franz Ferdinand = overhyped. The album is way too inconsistent for the love you're giving it.

    Originally posted by AngryJohnny
    Next time Weezer.


Weezer's best days are behind them. The Green Album was so-so, kinda of an updated, sweetened version of the Blue Album. I feel the same way about Maladroit.

The Blue Album was terriffic on its own merits and because it came first, establishing the Weezer sound by which we're judging their other albums. Pinkerton was terriffic, too, eye em oh. Good songs, and clearly some thought and work was put into the music. [And it was supposedly "loosely-based" on Mme. Butterfly. Points for originality there.] Their subsequent two albums, to me, reek of "We made a mistake trying different sounds, and we're really sorry. Please let us re-release our first album under two different names." They're not bad, they just kinda bore me when compared to the previous two discs.



The master wouldn't approve.
drjayphd
Scrapple
Moderator








Since: 22.4.02
From: Long Island

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#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.40
I dislike contemporary Christian rock as much as the next guy, but people we're supposed to vote it as horrible based on the fact that... some people believe in Jesus and wrote music about it?

I think it's more the concept of a soundtrack album (probably in the vein of, oh, Flashdance or Empire Records only by Christian performers) for a film that's mostly someone getting the crap beaten out of him. If they'd done this for Police State (us.imdb.com) by Nick Zedd (him getting the shit kicked out of him by two cops for about eighteen minutes... no, literally) I would've said the same thing.

(Full disclosure: I haven't seen Passion. Nor do I plan on it. But what I think of the movie doesn't matter, it's just that the concept of that album does quite well and truly suck.)



You wanted the best, you got... Out of Context Quote of the Week.

"Jeez, some people seem to think anything short of Vince bending over and spreading his asscheeks is a slap in the face." (Hogan's My Dad)

OlFuzzyBastard
Knackwurst








Since: 28.4.02
From: Pittsburgh, PA

Since last post: 10 days
Last activity: 6 days
AIM:  
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.69
There isn't one word about George W. Bush on "American Idiot". Anywhere.



The results are IN for the 2004 FUZZIES!
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