What a way to kick off the new game show season. I'm sure there was some cherry-picking involved what with a monster win on the season opener, but what a way to take a shell of a game and turn it into a masterpiece, if for one night only. Seriously, the best turn around that wasn't produced by Danny Ainge. Let's start with the battle of the sexes idea. Brilliant. Well, not brilliant, because my four year old cousin could've stumbled across it. But still, thanks for that. Also, thanks for not just coming up with the idea, but running with it too. Saget was damn near giddy when he was able to legally ask some random woman to say "clean and jerk" about eight times. Also, the battle of the sexes theme may have actually WON the kid at the end the million dollars. The set looked cleaner also, and the question board actually being amongst the mob itself was a huge improvement. No need to keep pivoting around back and forth. OH, and they went back to revealing the mob losers one at a time, creating tension that was missed when they just popped all the people who missed at once.
First, the pre-lim. And that's lim, not limbs, because this woman had none. Broom with hair. And slightly dumber too. She was probably the first contestant on the show that I've seen psyched into a loss.
Which movie title contains a prime number? a. Scary Movie 4 b. Ocean's Eleven c. Police Academy 6
She nailed it right away, and even explained it out loud to us. To recap: She knew the answer, correctly explained how she arrived at the answer, and was ready to punch it up and move on. But then, for some reason, she had one moment of hesitation that fucking derailed her like the Oilers in that one playoff game against the Bills. She decided to reach out and ask the mob their opinion. When you ask the mob, you get two random people who try to explain their side of things. One is right, one is wrong. They happen to land on the right person first, who calmly explains that it was just a series of numbers he remembered for school. Then the wrong guy goes. This guy pick four, and is very proud of himself.
Well, uh, the lowest prime number is two (pause) come on, Blondie!
Only he's not joking. And while she is trying to laugh him off, she's not joking either. Here is where the theme kicks in. She is so visibly shaken by this guy and his comment that she flip-flops despite defining what a prime number was not less than three minutes prior. See ya Blondie! Oh yeah, see you too Encyclopedia Bronx! About fifty people split up her 50k.
AND THAT WAS THE WARMUP.
Representing the guys is McLovin. Saget is nice enough not to drop the V-bome on his, but manages to weasel out of him that he's 21 years old and never had a girlfriend. This is probably a lie. I mean, he does kinda look like McLovin, and he sells the loner/geek/wrestling fan image and persona quite well, but c'mon. Firstly, he wasn't horribly built. Secondly, pretending to be a virgin loser is a pretty good way to get on game shows. Thirdly, pretending to be a sweet innocent virgin on national TV in front of 100 women is genius. And fourthly, pretending to be a sweet innocent virgin on national TV in front of 100 women who know you're about to walk away with a boat of cash is bordering on Wile E Coyote territory.
So the kid gets what he is expected to get (Gilligan Island questions) and struggles where is supposed to (Olympic Weightlifting questions) and is doing pretty well for himself. He whittles the ladies down to fifteen and then there was the biggest red herring question I've seen on any show outside of Millionare.
According to Hallmark, what is the biggest holiday of the year for greeting card sales? a. Christmas b. Mother's Day c. Valentine's Day
Again, the theme sells the show. Already the girlfriend (the bandwagoner who showed up in the last ten minutes) and I have this penciled in as Mother's Day before the options were up. It HAS to be Mother's Day! It's battle of the sexes!! You have to have as many female-oriented questions as possible!! McLovin is not sold on this in any way, shape, or form though. He immediately dismisses Valentine's Day, using his real-world experience there. Then he shies away from Mother's Day to an audible groan from the audience. I'm screaming at this point, because now I'm invested in this kid and know none of the mob. After only the slight of hesitation, he banks Christmas. Even Bob is shook up at the balls on McLovin. Before they get to the results, they show who missed the question. ALL FIFTEEN DROPPED OFF THE BOARD. Although everybody is freaking out at this point, the kid seems to have worked out that at least one of the women would've picked Mother's Day or Valentine's Day. I'm not quite sold yet, thinking we would see an all-loser round of the game for the first time. Wrong. He clinches it and goes home a million dollars richer. Unbelievable.
Lesson/Discovery: Marginally hot blonde girls are dumb. Friendless virgins are smart. I'm still poor.
Wed: Are We Done Yet? (AreWeDoneYet-Movie.com) Wed: Firehouse Dog (firehousedogmovie.com) Thu: The Reaping (thereapingmovie.com) Fri: Grindhouse (grindhousemovie.net) Does not matter which day they start, they ain't at your theatre: