The W
Views: 133298621
Main | FAQ | Search: Y! / G | Calendar | Color chart | Log in for more!
27.5.18 1843
The W - Random - Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Review)
This thread has 21 referrals leading to it
Register and log in to post!
Thread rated: 5.58
Pages: 1
(2246 newer) Next thread | Previous thread
Post (13 total)

Since: 3.1.02
From: Calgary

Since last post: 1617 days
Last activity: 1305 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.96
Good flick. Very atmospheric, very well-done... They maintain all the rules of horror films ("Hey, there's a noise...I'll go alone and check it out!") and Jessica Biel in a wet tanktop running away from Leatherface. Awesomeness. Shot like a documentary, and it's hard to tell that it's the director's first film.

Plus, John Larroquette doing voiceover at the end! Swank!

FLAMES: 2-1-0-0; 4 points
CUBS: *Sobbing*
STAMPEDERS: 5-11; Officially out of playoff contention
Promote this thread!
It's False

Since: 20.6.02
From: I am the Tag Team Champions!

Since last post: 67 days
Last activity: 5 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.08
As much as I like LEATHERFACE~! as an on-screen villain, I'm sorry, but I just couldn't enjoy this movie. There were so many moments where the movie seemed to be violent just to be violent. Character development was almost non-existant and the scene where Jessica Biel's tanktop got wet just seemed a little TOO contrived (yeah sure, it just suddenly started to rain).

Spoiler Below: Highlight text to read
But I will say that I got a kick out of Jessica Biel running down the "sheriff". The movie crowd marked out big time for that one, as the "sheriff" was just a total dick...the sign of a PERFECT movie heel.

LS: Alright, we hardly gotten any airtime and we still aren't over. Anymore ideas?
GD: Can you stare at your hand and spin on your head? Or better yet, we can have you shilling HUNGRY MAN DINNERS!
LS: very disturbing.

Since: 20.2.03

Since last post: 3850 days
Last activity: 3736 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.56
I wasn't impressed by the movie at all. It seemed that any film school grad with a budget and a chainsaw could've pulled this off. I didn't even jump very much when they tried to startle me.
Not that the story is all that important.

And here's what I didn't get about the movie. Who the hell was the girl at the beginning of the movie? Was she Leatherface's sister? I didn't understand that at all. It seems like quite a stretch that they're picking her up would lead to all the events in the movie. But it's a movie, right?

(edited by kgriffey79 on 19.10.03 1210)

You Samoans are all the same. You have no faith in the essential decency of the white man's culture.

Since: 23.10.02
From: Tarheel State

Since last post: 4364 days
Last activity: 3641 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.37
Spoiler Answer

She was with her family. The picture in the car. She had managed to escape. The baby was her lil brother i guess.... the one that they gave to the fat lady and ugly girl

I LOVE WRESTLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Since: 3.1.02
From: Calgary

Since last post: 1617 days
Last activity: 1305 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.96
TCM is one of those love'em or hate'em flicks. I mean, you can tell that they were trying and I enjoyed the fact that they managed to stay pretty consistent with what they were doing. That said, that wasn't much of a massacre. I mean...eight people? Not much of a massacre.

FLAMES: 2-1-0-0; 4 points
CUBS: *Sobbing*
STAMPEDERS: 5-11; Officially out of playoff contention

Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 3547 days
Last activity: 2414 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.51
Some movies don't need to be remade, I think.

The original is a classic. It's like remaking the Exorcist or the Amityville Horror (although I'm sure someone will eventually). Why would you remake a perfectly good movie?

In the end, if all you really add is tons of blood and a hot chick in a middrift, I say leave it alone.

And Marking Out

Since: 20.3.02
From: California

Since last post: 20 days
Last activity: 2 hours
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.39
My friends are stupid. I can't believe they chose this movie over Kill Bill (which has it beat on gore alone), Intolerable Cruelty, and Lost in Translation.

After the movie, they proclaimed this to be the best horror movie they have ever seen and that it was, in fact, better than the original.

I will say that, while I didn't really enjoy the movie and that it had one to many horror cliches, I actually did enjoy Jessica Beil's ass-kicking run at the end. I'm not sure if I enjoyed it because because it actually worked or if it was because signalled the end of the movie.

Either way, it was an investment that really could have been spent more wisely and convinced me that I need to get new friends.

(edited by SKLOKAZOID on 20.10.03 1001)

Since: 19.7.02
From: Trenton, NJ, USA

Since last post: 4108 days
Last activity: 3406 days
#8 Posted on
I left the movie expecting more mayhem and murder, personally. I was a bit dissatisfied actually. I mean... onscreen.. we were only 'treated' to the murders of 4 people. The suicide, while quite gory, isn't in the count. So, the whole massacre title is a bit overstated. Maybe "The Texas Chainsaw Mass Murders" or something like that.

I agree with It's False on the total lack of character development here. I found myself more interested in the whole Hewitt family and couldn't care less about the people in the van. Like were they cannibals? Or why was the kid from "The Ring" treated like an outcast?

R. Lee Ermey (the Sheriff) stole the movie. Were it not for him, I think I would have been totally bored out of my mind. Nothing was what I'd call memorable about this movie. It was just 'all right'.

I had been hoping that we wouldn't be getting anymore remakes of classic movies, especially horror films... But I'll be damned if they didn't run a trailer for a remake of "Dawn of the Dead".... All on the day that I found out the Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt are backing a remake of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory".. Fuck!

Since: 17.1.02
From: New F'n Jersey

Since last post: 76 days
Last activity: 76 days
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.44
I'm with Ticamo on saying that the movie was "all right," but after some reviews I read and saw, I must say that the flick isn't as bad as they say. Sure, there are plenty of moments when you want to scream at Jessica Biel for being so stupid (like when Leatherface is looking at the stoner kid and Jessica doesn't just pick up the chainsaw and attack Leatherface). All in all though, the movie was creepy enough and had enough killings to be worthwhile. Hell, this movie was better in some ways than Freddy vs. Jason.

Molly, Stacy and Daffney all in WWE? I suddenly lost all my will to complain about anything regarding the WWE. Hope I don't lose my street cred for this.

TS, the greatest Wiener rated 6.1554 ever to live!! Oops, I mean 5.5...4.5?? Oh, dammit! I guess Notorious FAB was right.
Big Bad

Since: 4.1.02
From: Dorchester, Ontario

Since last post: 10 days
Last activity: 3 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.54
Wow, Roger Ebert ripped this movie a new asshole. I haven't seen a truly vicious review like this from the E-man in a long time.

Click Here (

Of all the gizmos forced upon us by the modern world, is any more melancholy than the leaf blower? The device is manifestly useless. It blows leaves from one place to another, and then the wind blows them back again. -- Roger Ebert

Watching that movie was like watching a young child be repeatedly punched in the face.-- my friend Dave after watching Bad Boys II

Your children will laugh when you're dead!-- Jason Robards in "A Thousand Acres"

I can tell you with no ego that this is my finest blade. If you should encounter God, God will be cut.-- Sonny Chiba in "Kill Bill: Volume 1"

I would gladly pay $10.00 to see a kangaroo kick the shit out of Jeff Jarrett.-- Bubblesthechimp
Enojado Viento
Potato korv

Since: 12.3.02
From: Your Grocer's Freezer, NC

Since last post: 2033 days
Last activity: 1305 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.34
I can't say I blame Ebert.

I knew this movie was heading down a bad road when the co-producer said they only wanted a marketable name.

Between this and the "Dawn of the Dead" remake I wonder if the real cannibalism isn't just a pathetic cover for the utter lack of ideas (or for that matter, actual horror) in horror movies nowadays.


"ahhh...vague, mandatory knee-jerk cynicism. God Bless Internet Forums.."

Since: 3.1.02
From: Philly

Since last post: 4346 days
Last activity: 601 days
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.00
    Originally posted by Big Bad
    Wow, Roger Ebert ripped this movie a new asshole. I haven't seen a truly vicious review like this from the E-man in a long time.

    Click Here (

Thank you. Now I have a new .sig quote.

"There were times when I intensely wanted to walk out of the theater and into the fresh air and look at the sky and buy an apple and sigh for our civilization, but I stuck it out." -- Roger Ebert
Swordsman Yen

Since: 16.2.02
From: Shaolin

Since last post: 5249 days
Last activity: 5233 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.00
Well you know something, Mean Gene...
Here's a quote from another famous movie critic:

"If the film is a remake of a classic, rent the classic." -- Jay Sherman

Certainly applies here.

Dear Vince,

It's time to take a Dump...

Thread rated: 5.58
Pages: 1
Thread ahead: Cold Pizza
Next thread: Top Review for London Restaurant
Previous thread: Robert De Niro has Prostate Cancer
(2246 newer) Next thread | Previous thread
I'm glad to see Nick finally get fired, since that clown should've gone weeks ago. I still can't believe Trump bought into his bullshit and fired Bowie instead of him....if there's anyone that unfairly deserved to go, it was Bowie.
Related threads: Yet ANOTHER movie role for The Rock - Mystic River - The House Of The Dead - More...
The W - Random - Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Review)Register and log in to post!

The W™ message board

©2001-2018 Brothers Zim

This old hunk of junk rendered your page in 0.778 seconds.