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The W - Random - Dating Age Gap (Page 2)
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Davros
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Since: 22.8.02
From: Between thought and Reality, TZ

Since last post: 2694 days
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#21 Posted on
I back zoggy1. Maturity is subjective. When I was 20, I dated a young lady that was 25, and she played more "high school" games than most of my friends that were still in high school at that point. I think the bottom line is, whether age or what not is the issue, we all have to roll with the consequences.

If a 25 year old is going out with an 18 year old, and are partying and hangin, bangin, drankin' no thangin', then the older person in the duo (NOT necessarily couple) has to relize it's not just a moral issue, but a legal one as well.
Plus, shouldn't the older person also think about THEIR maturity level?

This is all gravy and all, but consider the fact there are 40 year olds that still aren't "mature". So maybe it isn't an issue of maturity, maybe it's an issue of insecurity.



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Since: 2.1.02
From: The Silver Spring in the Land of Mary.

Since last post: 7 days
Last activity: 2 days
#22 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.05
    Originally posted by DMC

    I find myself questioning the motives of a 25-year old who gets involved with an 18-year old. There's a vast gap in potential development there. And even if the 18-year old is "old" for his/her age, a 25-year old had simply seen much more of life, again, even if he/she is "young" for his/her age."

    I have to agree with Tarnish here. Say everything you want about how "She/He is 18 but they are mature for their age," trust me, they are STILL not as mature as someone in their mid to late 20s. It's just a fact. Just because someone is mature for their age at a young age does NOT mean they will not go through important stages and changes in the upcoming year, because they absolutely will. This is (hopefully) when most people formulate who they are and what they will be doing with the rest of their lives. Saying that a 25+ and 18+ relationship will last, even in today's world, is just foolish.

    I too had a friend who was 27 and dated a 17 year old and the damn thing just didn't last. And just like Tarnish, God forbid I ever said anything to my 27 year old friend about age being the issue. What is it with people who date way out of their age range?

    DMC



25s don't date 18s for a lasting relationship my friend...most "date" them for "other" reasons

the motives are quite clear. to get into her pants because she hasn't been gotten by some other guy yet, because most gals under 23 haven't been hurt yet, and are open to suggestion, in my opinion...



(edited by rikidozan on 7.2.03 1829)


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Since: 2.1.02
From: Ottawa, Ontario

Since last post: 18 hours
Last activity: 30 min.
#23 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.87
1. How big is the largest gap you've ever had in a relationship?

Seven years... She was 25, and I was 18 when we started dating - though I was in college over a year at that point.

2. What do you think is too much. Does it depend on how old the people involved are (10 years is okay at 60, but not 30?)?

I'm 20 now and wouldn't have any qualms dating anyone 30 or under. That said, I wouldn't date anyone younger than 18 at this point either.....

3. Can a 25 year old and an 18 year old not be a bad thing?

It worked for us, and she's a REALLY close friend of mine to this day. In most cases though, I'll be honest and say it's not going to work because you're in two totally different social circles.



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El Nastio
Andouille








Since: 14.1.02
From: Ottawa Ontario, by way of Walkerton

Since last post: 5 days
Last activity: 3 hours
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#24 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.33
1. How big is the largest gap you've ever had in a relationship?

- Three years (I was 20, she was 17 turning 18). My current girlfriend is two years and a couple of months older than me.


2. What do you think is too much. Does it depend on how old the people involved are (10 years is okay at 60, but not 30?)?

- I tend to have a "big brother" perspective on this. My little sister is 14 right now. I've told her I don't want to hear of her dating anyone that's younger/older than two years. And if I find out she's dating someone whose older than 18 at anytime before she turns 18, he's going to have to run. Real fast. When she hits 18, she can go two years younger and two years older. When she hits 19, there's going to be a bit more freedom involved. Once she gets older, than yeah, I think it'd be acceptable to have a bigger age gap.

I mention this because I happen to think that this is the way I think for ages and dating as a whole, not just her.

3. Can a 25 year old and an 18 year old not be a bad thing?

Personally, I think not. When you get older age does make less of a difference, but that's because once you reach those ages you find that most people have the same level of maturity (in most cases a 40 year old and a 47 year old will have the same level of maturity). I think DMC and tarnish summed it best. Also, it's the "Older Brother/Little SIster Effect". When my little sister turns 18, she'll have the same chance of dating a 25 year old than what I have of becoming the next Americian President.

But hey, anything can work in theory. But of course in theory communism works.



(edited by El Nastio on 7.2.03 2218)


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Since: 17.11.02

Since last post: 21 hours
Last activity: 3 hours
#25 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.74

    Originally posted by DMC
    What is it with people who date way out of their age range?


A sex story you can tell your friends about. Back when I was 22, I managed a night club and we had what we called all you can drink nights. I'm not proud of it or anything, but there was this girl named Brandi who liked to do things that most girls should NOT think about doing just to get in for free, she was 20 according to her DL and she looked like it. Sadly, I found out AFTER the fact how old she really was, 16; she was using her sisters DL to get in. I still see her every once in a while when I go out to get drunk, and she always has to remind me about it; she's 23 now and still looks EXACTLY like she did back then, which freaks me out. What sucks about all this age stuff is that girls DON'T look thier age anymore. I have a nephew in the 9th grade, and I've seen him with girls who I thought were teachers but NOPE, they were students. Why do girls have to get so big and grow in THOSE parts when they are so young, it's not FAIR!

1994... ahh, good times, good times.



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Ana Ng
Blutwurst








Since: 6.8.02
From: Naples, FL, USA

Since last post: 3872 days
Last activity: 3446 days
#26 Posted on
I dated a 27 year old when I was 19. It was a wretched idea. Of course, that may have had something to do with the fact the he was a misogynistic, insane prick.

My current boyfriend is about 10 months younger than me. He's the closest to me in age of anyone I've dated, and he's also the person I've identified with the most. So, I think it's best to stay close to your own age. That way, you get all the same pop cultural references. And, unlike my ex-boyfriend who was much older, I've never had the urge to bludgeon him. In fact, I really quite like him.

(edited by Ana Ng on 8.2.03 0431)


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Stephanie
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Since: 2.1.02
From: Madison, WI

Since last post: 556 days
Last activity: 26 days
#27 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.22
I'll never date anyone more than three years younger or older than I am. The younger ones are goofs; the older ones are mostly interested in "physical interaction", aka "wrestling of a different sort".

Steph (largest age difference between me and my boyfriend: 2 years)



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drjayphd
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Since: 22.4.02
From: Long Island

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#28 Posted on
So far, I've never actually dated anyone younger than me... figure that out. First gf had four months on me (and she was a year behind...), current one is three years older. I think three years each way is a pretty good guideline at this point, although I REALLY wouldn't think too much about goiung three years younger.



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Since: 1.8.02
From: Phoenix-ish

Since last post: 9 days
Last activity: 2 days
#29 Posted on

    Originally posted by Stephanie
    I'll never date anyone more than three years younger or older than I am. The younger ones are goofs; the older ones are mostly interested in "physical interaction", aka "wrestling of a different sort".

    Steph (largest age difference between me and my boyfriend: 2 years)

That's about the way I remember it when I was your age. At some point though, that flips around: the older ones are goofs, & you want the younger ones that are interested in "physical interaction". Can't say at exactly what point that switch occurred. Its a very odd phenomenon.

(3 years for serious relationships; 12 years for frolic-centric relationships)
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