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The W - Pro Wrestling - WWE Smackdown #699 1/11/13
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WWE Smackdown #699 1/11/13

So, apparently there were spoilers for this week's Smackdown. Not just any kind of spoilers, but the kind of spoilers that warrant a thread on The W. That usually means one of two things: Either someone attended a show live, or something really major happened. Lets find out which it was together!

The now-traditional opening recap covers the Rock's return to Raw. Wait, are they promising that he'll be on Smackdown too? That's a treat I wasn't expecting. Perhaps that's the spoiler? Also, as promised on Raw, we get Alberto Del Rio vs. the Big Show tonight.

Cut to the ring, where LILIAN GARCIA introduces Smackdown's General Manager, BOOKER T. Booker is paying tribute to Tazz by wearing an orange tie. JOSH MATHEWS on commentary mentions that Booker has a major announcement regarding the World Heavyweight Championship, but JBL won't let slip what it is. Lets go to Booker! "Thank you. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Smackdown. Now I promise you, we're gonna kick this year off with a bang. Now guys, I can not overlook this Monday Night Raw, the show was epic ladies and gentlemen, trust me. Anything Raw can do, Smackdown can do better. Now as the General Manager of Smackdown I'm not gonna take a back seat to anyone, so this is the way I see it tonight, guys." Vocal Fan: "You tell 'em, Booker!" "Thank you. Now Raw, Raw gave you Dolph Ziggler vs. John Cena. But tonight, guys, I'm gonna give you the United States Champion, Antonio Cesaro, versus the Viper, Randy Orton! Now, I must say Raw did deliver the Great One, but guys I'm gonna do one much much better than that. Guys, after ten years, the most electrifying man in all of sports entertainment, tonight guys, I give you the Rock inside this very ring!" Yay! Music starts playing, but Booker continues. "To top it off, instead of having a non-title match, we're putting the title on the line. The Big Show will defend the World Heavyweight Championship against Alberto Del Rio in a Last Man Standing match. Oh yeah. Now things are just getting hype out here on Smackdown guys, I told you we were going to kick it off, and we were going to kick it off live." But Booker and the music are cut off as THE BIG SHOW marches down to the ring, without an entrance theme but with title in hand. He has no mic, but he's Big Show, so we can hear him talking anyway. "What the hell are you doing? What is the deal? Every week!" He gets in the ring, talking off-mic with Booker. "I'm the General Manager of Smackdown." "That's a horrible, horrible idea! Is this personal or something? This is complete crap and you know it! Complete crap!" Big Show leaves the ring and demands a microphone and starts pacing outside the ring, talking to Booker still inside it. "Booker, you're not fooling me with this crap, you're really not. This is a personal vendetta you have against me. Are you bitter? Are you angry with me because I'm still in the game, I'm the World Heavyweight Champion, and you're back there pushing papers sitting at a desk? Is that what this is about? What's wrong with me as the World Heavyweight Champion? Do you have a problem with me as the World Heavyweight Champion? Why, Booker? You need a new hero? I see what you're trying to do, you want these people here in Miami to embrace Alberto Del Rio. Is that it? Because of the high population of Latino people in Miami, you think-" The crowd cheers, so Show tries to cut them off. "That's nothing to cheer about. Because of the Latino population here in Miami, you're hoping that by making me compete against a Latino like Alberto Del Rio they're gonna get behind him? Alberto Del Rio is not in my class! He's beneath me! You can't give people like this a hero! There are no Latino heroes! I am the World Heavyweight Champion! There's no Irish hero, there's no Latino hero, there's no Viper hero that's gonna stop me! I see what this is about, Booker." And now he climbs up into the ring. "You wanna give these weak, feeble inferior people a hero. Booker, that's a bad idea. I'm advising you very strongly to make a good decision right now. You need to change your mind. Let me express it to you a bit better, huh?" Show grabs Booker by the throat and backs him up into the corner. Uh-oh! Well, he does have an ironclad contract. "You need-" But the music of ALBERTO DEL RIO fires up, and he sprints down to the ring for the save! Show takes a swing but Del Rio ducks, then lands a superkick to Show's chest. A thigh kick and a dropkic follow, sending Show staggering to the corner. Del Rio sets him up and hits the stepladder enziguiri! Another dropkick sends Show to the outside! Show slams the announce table, seeming more angry than hurt, and starts yelling threats off-mic that we can hear just fine because he's Big Show. "You want some of this? I will destroy you! I will rip you limb from limb! C'mon, Booker, let him go!" Booker is holding Alberto back, as the fans chant 'Del Rio'. Alberto departs to his music, leaving Big Show to stew on the outside. Ah, here's RICARDO RODRIGUEZ w/the Black Scarf of Mourning to meet Del Rio on the ramp. These two will clash later, but will it be the main event with the Rock around?

We're getting some of the Rock's career highlights from Smackdown! Up first is WCW Champion Rock issuing a challenge to anyone in the back. Shawn Stasiak answers it, charges the ring and is immediately tossed over the top rope to the floor. In the subsequent 'match', there's a quick Rock Bottom and pin. Dig those ugly WCW/Alliance white referee outfits! Later tonight, Raw recaps! Also, Antonio Cesaro vs. Randy Orton!

To the Aftermath studios, as ARDA OCAL says he and JIMMY KORDERAS won't be on every commercial break for this airing of the show because they're short on time. If we watch the replay (Smackdown replays a couple of hours after it finishes in Canada) they will be on every break. I guess we miss out! They ask about the legitimacy of 'Viper heroes' and comment on Del Rio suddenly starting to throw out dropkicks now that he's turned face.

We're coming from Miami, Florida, the host city of last year's Wrestlemania, and there's aerial coverage of the arena today! It's brought to you by DirecTV. And it looks like we're going straight into a match.

RANDY ORTON vs. ANTONIO CESARO: This is a non-title match, of course. Antonio Cesaro comes out waving a large American flag. He also gets an inset promo on the way to the ring! "Unlike typical Americans who just wait for a handout, I take advantage of the opportunities that this country has given me. Therefore, I formally announce that I will enter and win the Royal Rumble match. So to all the Americans will their lack of drive, ability and self-respect, like Randy Orton or my Royal Rumble opponents, I say thank you, and I proudly wave your flag. USA, USA." He sounded slightly disingenuous saying that last part! Lockup in the centre of the ring, then Orton gets a go-behind. No, wait, Cesaro grabs an arm to block it and is working that arm. He turns it into a hammerlock. Orton squirms around before reversing it into his own hammerlock and quickly grabbing a side headlock. Cesaro, well-aware from watching tapes of Aksana how deadly that can be, quickly shoves Orton off into the ropes, and Orton plows him over with a shoulderblock. Cesaro rolls to the corner and cracks his neck to regroup. This time Cesaro comes in with a kick to the gut, then three European uppercuts. Orton lands a kick to counter and throws Cesaro to the floor, then pursues and hits a clothesline there. Orton slithers back into the ring, as we cut to commercial.

When we return, Cesaro has Orton in the Cobra Clutch. Cesaro got the advantage by smashing Orton off the apron and into the barricade. Orton elbows out, then lands a headbutt and his own European Uppercut. Cesaro takes him down with a clothesline, for two. Cesaro thinks things over, then deadlifts Orton off the mat for the delayed gutwrench! He wipes his hands clean, thinking he's done, but Orton kicks out at two. Cesaro picks Orton up and hurls him into the corner, landing punches to the gut. Snapmare takedown, into another Cobra Clutch. Orton struggles back to his feet, punching the gut to escape, but a knee to the gut by Cesaro puts an end to that. Cesaro charges Orton in the corner, but Orton goes up and over with the rollup for two! Orton ducks Cesaro's followup clothesline, but Cesaro, nonplussed, grabs Orton and hits the Michinoku Driver! That only gets two! Cesaro argues the count, then starts taunting Orton as he starts to get up, slapping and kicking the back of his head. Orton is whipped to the corner, but comes out with a clothesline! Another clothesline follows. Cesaro's clothesline is ducked, and Orton hits the quick powerslam! Orton picks him up, possibly considering a second-rope DDT, but Cesaro shoves him off. Orton bounces off the ropes and kicks the ducking Cesaro, but when he comes in again Cesaro presses him up into the air and hits the Shoryuken as he comes down! Cover, and Orton somehow kicks out at two! Orton is dead weight as Cesaro picks him back up, while we replay the launching uppercut. Cesaro's whip to the corner is reversed, but Orton runs into Cesaro's high knee as he charges in. Cesaro charges, but Orton ducks and hits the 3.0 backbreaker! Both men are slow to rise, but Orton looks like he's gathered himself. Now he wants the second rope DDT, and he gets it! He plays to the crowd, then does the Viper coil! But hefore Cesaro can get back up, here's THE SHIELD from the crowd to attack and draw the DQ! Cesaro says 'screw this' and bails out of the ring as the three on one beatdown is on. They destroy Orton in the corner, stomping away. Orton is dead weight once more as Reigns screams to signal his desire for a powerbomb. Rollins and Ambrose are happy to oblige, getting Orton up. The triple powerbomb connects! Orton is left laying, as The Shield stands tall.

After the break, we recap the Shield's attack and plug the upcoming main event, before throwing things backstage to MATT STRIKER, who is prepared to interview 3MB. Drew McIntyre's stopped shaving his chest! That's.. something, right? "Joining me now, 3MB. Gentlemen, this past Monday on Raw you've announced that you will enter the Royal Rumble match for the first time ever." Drew: "Thank you for watching. Officially, added to the 3MB World Tour, the Royal Rumble Match." Jinder: "3MB is gonna rock when it rolls into Phoenix." Heath: "Guys, check it out. 30 WWE Superstars in the Royal Rumble match, there's three of us, my mom said.. yes, my mom said we have a 10% chance of winning the Royal Rumble match and going on and headlining Wrestlemania baby! Yes! Woo!" Drew: "But but but but but but, fellas, we have a certain Irish tenor to tend to." Jinder: "What Sheamus pulled on Raw was way out of tune." Heath: "Y'know what guys, we're gonna beat Shemaus like an Irish drum baby! Yeah!" They do some air drumming, and depart.

At the Royal Rumble, CM Punk will face the Rock, but earlier today at a football stadium in Miami, CM PUNK w/PAUL HEYMAN had a message for the Rock! "Hi Rock. This place look familiar to you? Of course it does, this is the Sun-Life Stadium, home of Wrestlemania 28, where last year you had your last match. Also happens to be the home of the University of Miami football team, yeah. And I'm sure, yourself included, everybody around the world thinks that based off of what happened to us in the ring last Monday on Raw that I'm going to come here and ruin your little homecoming and say all manner of horrible things about you and your family, spit some venom your way. It couldn't be further from the truth. I'm actually a huge fan of yours. Yeah, especially your college football career." And he lifts up a football jersey, #94 Johnson, before putting it on. "Yeah, little known fact, CM Punk is a huuuge college football afficionado, so I wanted to come to the place where the Rock played college ball. Except this is Sun-Life stadium, you never played here, you played your home games in the Orange Bowl. But they, they tore down the Orange Bowl." "Laid the smackdown on the Orange Bowl." "Laid the smackdown on the Orange Bowl. Man, think about that. The place where you lived your college football glory days is gone! It's a hell of a metaphor, because the place where you lived your sports entertainment glory years is gone. This isn't the WWE you know and love, this isn't the WWE you dominated, this is my house now. This is CM Punk's WWE. We live in the CM Punk era. You don't have a future here in WWE, not as long as I'm your opponent. Now I don't want to ruin your day, you're surrounded by loved ones, I want you to kiss and hug everybody and have a good time. I like a feel-good moment as much as the next guy. Except I like to snatch them out of the air and break them apart with my bare hands. I want you to remember that when you step into the ring with me in the Royal Rumble. And I know that WWE is now heralding your return home to Miami. They're trumpeting your return to your show, Smackdown, for the first time in ten years. And I know without a doubt that you're going to stand in the People's Ring, with the People's Microphone in front of your friends and family, and you're going to say 'Finally the Rock has come back to Miami'. And understand that while you can come back to Miami, Rock, truthfully, I want you to know. You can never go home."

Back to the arena, we have a match! A mixed tag match, no less, after this break!

In the Aftermath studio, Arda Ocal points out the irony of the Rock being in the arena for Smackdown while his opponent is appearing 'via satelite'. Both of them approve of Punk's promo poking at the Rock.

When we return, we join ALBERTO DEL RIO w/Black Scarf of Mourning backstage getting a peptalk from RICARDO RODRIGUEZ. In Spanish, so I don't know what he's saying. MATT STRIKER interrupts! "Excuse me Alberto, Ricardo. Sorry to bother you guys. I wanted to get your reaction to what happened earlier tonight in the ring, as well as the fact that you will be competing in a Last Man Standing match for the World Heavyweight Championship tonight." "Well first of all the Big Show is the most insecure person in the world. First he goes and bullies mi amigo Ricardo Rodriguez, and then he goes and lower himself, running down my people. Really? He doesn't know anything about the Latino community! So tonight, I'm going to make sure the Big Show gets a perfect picture of what la familia means. And at the end of the night, the last man standing in that ring will be a Latino. HIs name will be Alberto Del Rio, and he will be the new World Heavyweight Champion."

DOLPH ZIGGLER and AJ LEE w/BIG E LANGSTON and briefcase vs. THE GREAT KHALI and BETH PHO... ER, NATALYA w/HORNSWOGGLE: JBL says that Khali and Natalya competing as a team makes this WWE's first interspecies matchup. Uh, yeah. Ziggler and Khali start. Ziggler ducks from Khali's grasp and tries to land some blows, but Khali shoves him into the ropes and takes him down with a clothesline. Into the corner, despite Ziggler's protests Khali lands a big chop. Ziggler rolls all the way across the ring to the far corner, so Khali chops him again. Another clothesline by Khali takes him down, and he wants the brain chop already! Ziggler ducks away and tags AJ to escape. AJ looks around curiously, before remembering that Khali has to tag out. She gets into the ring and starts skipping around him, but as Khali turns to tag Natalya AJ jump up on his back to try to choke him! Khali doesn't seem to notice, making the tag anyway, and Natalya pulls AJ off. Nattie rams AJ's head into the mat repeatedly, then hits a discus clothesline! She wants the Sharpshooter, but AJ bites the knee to block it! That.. doesn't seem like the wisest place to bite. But it's AJ, so perhaps wisdom shouldn't play into the equation. The hold is eventually broken via bite, and AJ crawls away to the corner as Natalya holds her knee. Natalya charges in and starts beating down AJ, who curls into the fetal position on the second rope. Natalya tries to grab her out of the corner, and now AJ is biting the ear! Now that's a tried and true target for chomping! The referee forces the break, and AJ follows up by hitting Sliced Bread #2! 1, 2, 3, and that does it. AJ crawls across the ring, then licks her hand, as even Ziggler is looking a little leery of those events. He congratulates her anyway, but Big E Langston is in the ring now, and he mows down Khali with a running clothesline. Ziggler follows up with a Fameasser as Khali starts to get up. And now it's just Hornswoggle in the ring standing with them. Big E grabs him as he tries to flee, holding him by the arm. He smiles looking down at Hornswoggle, licking his own fingers, before scooping him up onto his shoulder. And there's the Big Ending! Big E seems pleased with himself as everyone departs.

And now, back to Sun-Life Stadium and our WWE Champion! "Rock, Monday night on Raw, you said to me 'times up', a cute little reference obviously to me being WWE Champion. And you said it so definitively that I believe that you actually convinced yourself that you think you can beat me, as if you're some sort of superhero and you've come back to save the people. Let me explain to you that the people don't deserve to be saved. And the people can rot in hell. That is what the people deserve. I'm the best in the world. I'm better than the people, and I'm better than you." "Does that bother you, Rock? I mean, I understand that your vision is that you're just as talented as CM Punk. But you're not. Don't take it personally, CM Punk is not just better than you, he's better than everybody. CM Punk is the best in the world. Now I understand your vision, the People's Vision, is that you're the conquering hero, and the Rock is going to ride into the Royal Rumble, and beat up the bad guy, and ride back out of town into Wrestlemania with the WWE Championship, that's the People's Vision, but CM Punk has made a career out of stomping out people's dreams, and CM Punk does not share the People's Vision. Because in the era of CM Punk, it doesn't matter what your vision is." Punk takes off the Miami jersey, folding it up and dropping it onto the field, as he and Heyman walk away. Up next, The Rock will appear! But first, another Rock moment. The Rock & Sock Connection is recapped. "Rock, just go out there one time, and win one for the Micker!" "...who the hell is the Micker? Idiot."

And here he comes! THE ROCK makes his return to Smackdown. He soaks up the adulation, as expected, receiving a standing ovation from his hometown fans, making a hand signal that I can only assume is a Miami Hurricane thing. Give the man a mic! But first, an eyebrow raise in response to the Rocky chants. In a show of continuity to last year, he shows off his goosebumps! "FINALLY, the Rock has come back ... HOME. We got a very very very special show, this is a special show, it's a special night, the Rock wants you to do somebody right now here tonight, not only is he the Rock's boy, not only a worldwide superstar, Grammy nominated, more importantly than all of that, Miami's own, Flo Rida." And he's pointed out in the crowd, making the same hand signal the Rock was. "So now we're back, not only is the Rock back here tonight, but the Rock is back on a very special show, the Rock is back on a show that was named after the Rock, the Rock is back on HIS SHOW, tonight in front of his hometown, Smackdown. So you can imagine how excited the Rock is to come here tonight in front of his home city, home town, in front of family, in front of friends, the Rock wanted to continue what he just did on Monday this past Monday on Raw, Rock Bottom in the middle of this ring, People's Elbow in the middle of this ring, so you can imagine, you can imagine how disappointed I was and I know you are too, that CM Punk decided not to show up." Boos from the crowd, followed by a Cookiepuss chant. "CM Punk, you want to run the Rock's hometown down, you want to run Miami down, you want to run the U down. Well let the Rock make something perfectly clear to you. It's right here, it's right here where it all started for the Rock. At the U, Carl Gables, on campus. On that campus, Greentree Practice Field, where it all started for the Rock, for the Rock and his teammates, his brothers for life, Warren Sapp. Ray Lewis. We put it down every day, dropping blood, dropping sweat, learned about commitment, sacrifice, hard work, played in every major bowl, became a national champion, CM Punk, you listen to the Rock jack, everything that the Rock has done in life, everything I've accomplished, all started right here in Miami. Home for the Rock, CM Punk, home for the Rock, home for the Rock isn't just being here in Miami, it's not just here on Smackdown, home for the Rock, and you can take this to the bank, home for the Rock is this Royal Rumble when the Rock kicks your cookiepuss ass and becomes the WWE Champion." More Cookiepuss chants. "Now since you didn't want to come here tonight CM Punk to have fun, the Rock is going to have some fun on his own. Miami, you wanna have fun tonight?" The fans cheer, but there are apparently some who do not want to have fun, as Hallelujah chimes out and DAMIEN SANDOW and CODY RHODES w/MUSTACHE make their entrance. Rock looks confused by this interruption!

They each have their own mics, and enter the ring. Damien is up first! "Allow me to beg your indulgance for one moment. My name is Damien Sandow, and I am the intellectual saviour of the unwashed masses. And this is my tag team partner and best friend, the essence of mustachioed magnificence, Cody Rhodes. And we are out here not only to help you, but to correct you." "You are not to become champion. We are. See, we beat Team Hell No this past Monday, we will become Tag Team Champions, so all things considered, Damien and I, we don't think you deserve this time. We do. So let me make a suggestion. Why don't you get out of this ring before you don't have any choice." Sandow holds the ropes open for the Rock. When the Rock turns to take their advice, he moves out of the way to make him do it himself, ha! Rock stops, of course. "Let the Rock get this straight. You sauntered down that ramp. You get in this ring. In the People's Ring. On the People's Show. Smackdown." The fans are whating him here, so he's playing to it. Really, they're going to what the Rock? "Dressed like this. Dead caterpillar on your lip." That gets applause from the fans. Poor Cody! Damien tries to come to his defense, saying "That wasn't funny!" "So, so, so, so let the Rock get straight, so you do all that, dressed like this, wearing something like that, that takes, that takes a lot of guts. I've just gotta say something, I mean, sweet tap-dancing Jesus, what is on your face? I mean, hey, hey." Cody interrupts here. "I am an adult! If I want to grow a mustache, I'll grow a mustache!" "Uh..." Before Rock can tear that statement asunder, Sandow steps in. "Enough, stop it, thank you. How about a wager, Rock. Recently, I have embarked on a futile quest to find an apprentice. I have been asking members of the audience to answer three questions correctly. Not surprisingly, I haven't found one that has been able to do so. And seeing as you are the People's Champ, lets see if you can do what they couldn't. You answer three questions correctly, and you get to stay. You don't, and you leave. What about it? What do you think? Or are you intellectually not up to par?" "It's like the shirt says, just bring it!" "I don't know necessarily if he can answer the three questions, he DID go to Miami." Ah Cody, with the burn. "Congratulations, Rock, you can read! Question number one. Silence! Who was the nineteenth president of the United States?" "The nineteenth president of the United States." "Yes. After eighteen but before twenty." "The Rock knows numbers, shut your mouth. The nineteenth president of the United States, the Rock's answer is going to be an answer that has never been ever uttered before in the history of Smackdown. The nineteenth president of the United States, Rutherford B. Hayes, bitch." Sandow looks annoyed, which I assume means the answer is right. "That is NOT what the B stands for, but you are correct." "Oh, you damn right I'm correct. Listen, the Rock knows his nineteenth century. And speaking of which, y'know, just like your nineteenth century beard, your big buggy eyes, it looks like what happened if Abe Lincoln got busy with a gremlin." Cody steps in as Sandow's eyes predictably bug out. "Oh okay, gremlins, movies, right? You're the big movie star." "Don't feed him after midnight!" "Okay, next question." Cody's apparently going to ask this one. "What film won the Academy Award for Best Picture in 1993?" "Ha, no, not the Tooth Fairy, that's enough." Rock points to a fan in the crowd and laughs. "Okay, 1993, best film, easy. Schindler's List. Schindler's List." "That is.. correct." "You're damn right the Rock is correct. You should know something about lists, you look like you spend twenty hours a day on Craigslist." Now it's Cody's turn to go apoplectic as the Rock continues. "Look look look, shut your mouth, look at Lilian, she's afraid. Don't worry, Lilian, don't worry, put your pepper spray away. If he gets near you I will slap that caterpillar into the eighth row." "SILENCE! SILENCE! Final question. Who-" "EHHHHHH ah ah ah, how about this, how about this, you asked the Rock two questions, how about the Rock asks you one final question, and here's the thing, here's the thing, since you were, you were so nice to come and interrupt the Rock in front of his hometown, he's gonna ask you one question, and if you get it right, you're gonna get an amazing prize from the Rock and from Miami. Here's the question, what happens when you combine a geological aggregate of minerals with its lowest form?" "That would be 'you get Rock Bottom'." "Exactly." And sure enough, Rock Bottom to Sandow! Cody looks on in distress, trying to decide if he wants to go after the Rock or not. Rock steps towards him and Cody steps back. But Cody now looks like he wants to fight! The robe comes off! He charges, but runs right into a spinebuster! And we all know what comes after that. The People's Elbow! "If you smelllllllll what the Rock is cooking!" And there's a pose on the second rope for the fans! But we're not done yet. The World Title is on the line later tonight!

3MB vs. SHEAMUS: This is apparently a handicap match, because 3MB hasn't been embarassed enough recently. Case in point, JBL protests the handicap match as being completely unfair and a mistake by Booker T, saying that 3MB needs a couple more people to help them. Well, they have to tag at least. Heath Slater starts out, but immediately rolls out of the ring as Sheamus moves to lock up. JBL: "3MB, according to Heath Slater's mom, has a 10% chance to win the Royal Rumble. That worked out well for Buff Bagwell with his mom." It looks like 3MB is going to walk out on the match, but they change their mind and all rush the ring. Slater enters first and eat a Brogue Kick immediately, at which point Mahal and McIntyre apparently think better of it. Sheamus pins Slater while keeping an eye on the other two, and gets the win. Drew drags Slater out of the ring and hoists him onto his shoulder to depart. Up next, Daniel Bryan and Kane will be in action!

In the Aftermath studio, they plug an upcoming episode of Vintage Collection that will feature the Austin/Tyson encounter on Raw. Jimmy Korderas talks about being there, and how Mike Tyson was a big wrestling fan.

THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS vs. WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS KANE and WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS DANIEL BRYAN: No entrance for the PTP, of course, while the tag champs enter together. A recap of their match on Raw follows, with the Rhodes Scholars winning. Bryan and Young start, with Bryan's knee taped up. Young takes Bryan into the corner, and the two brawl there. Bryan blocks a corner charge and goes up to the second rope, but is dragged off by the bad leg to the mat. Tag to O'Neill, who goes for his arm-whip slam, followed by the seal bark! Whil to the corner, and he takes the three point stance but eats Bryan's boot. There's the tag to Kane! Young is also tagged, but is dropped by punches. Whip to the corner and a clothesline, then a second. Side slam follows for two! Darren rolls to the apron, and hangs Kane up on the top rope. He climbs up top himself, but jumps right into an uppercut! Kane grabs Young for the chokeslam, and as Titus comes in to break that up he's grabbed by the throat as well. They kick Kane in the gut to break that up and whip Kane to the corner, but Kane ducks as he's whipped and Bryan comes flying in out of nowhere with a top rope knee strike, one knee for each PTP! That's not really good for his knee, but it allows Kane to hit the chokeslam and get the win. Bryan encourages Kane to set off his pyro, then plugs his ears as it explodes. They seem to be back on the same page for now, but with Doctor Shelby looming on Raw, will that continue? And can anyone explain to me exactly what this Dazzler thing is about?

At Raw on Monday, Eve will face Kaitlyn for the Divas Championship! In the meantime, lets recap Big Show and Alberto Del Rio's run-in at the start of the show. It's time for the World Title match!

BIG SHOW vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO w/RICARDO RODRIGUEZ, the Black Scarf of Mourning, and a Lamborghini Aventador worth $500,000 in a Last Man Standing Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: The fans play singalong with Ricardo during Del Rio's entrance. Good for them! Big Show, meanwhile, poses on the second rope as he's introduced. He's got some pep in his step today! Del Rio starts out with kicks to the thigh, but Big Show drops him with a headbutt. Big chop against the ropes. Del Rio fights back, but a clubbing forearm takes him down. Big scoop slam by Big Show. The referee starts his count, but Del Rio is up at four. "This is gonna be a long night, Pedro!" But Del Rio lands that superkick to the chest, then starts pounding away. Another headbutt stops him, followed by another big chop. Show leaves the ring, going under it for plunder. He finds a table, and sets it up outside! This cues a "We want tables" chant. You already have a table! The fans can be so greedy. Big Show takes Alberto outside the ring, then delivers a bodyslam through the table. He's not wasting any time! Del Rio pulls himself up using the announce table at six. Show grabs his head and shoves him back down, then goes for a steel chair. He throws Del Rio back into the ring, following after him. Del Rio cuts off a chairshot with a kick, then grabs the chair and smacks Show in the back! Show grabs the ropes and doesn't fall. Del Rio hits him in the ribs, then the back again! Show's still in the ropes, on one knee now. Another shot to the gut, and to the back. Show still isn't completely down. Del Rio grabs him and calls for destiny, but Big Show is just too big to spin into the cross armbreaker. He lifts Del Rio right up off the mat and tries to dump him over the top to the floor, but Del Rio keeps his hold on the arm, locking in the cross armbreaker over the rop rope! Show is crying out in pain, but there is no robe break in this match. Show power Del Rio back up, then drops him on the apron to break the hold. Del Rio is down and being counted, while Big Show recuperates. Alberto is up at seven, but Show is stalking after him now. And so, of course, we go to break! Well, at least we didn't go to break during a count.

We return to them still fighting on the outside, with Del Rio pounding away on Big Show's left arm, running him into the ringpost. A kick to the gut by Show slows him down, and he's tossed back into the ring. Show goes under the ring again, producing another table! This one is slid into the ring, and Big Show follows. Show grabs the table and goes to prop it up in the corner, but Del Rio is on the attack, with kicks and headbutts. Del Rio lands a dropkick on Big Show, who falls through the table! Big Show gets back up by the count of six. Del Rio jumps on Big Show's back, trying a sleeper. Show has it partially blocked, trying to pry his arm off. No, wait, now he's fading. Del Rio is just trying to blatantly choke him now, but Show is trying to fight out. Show finally whips him off to the mat. Del Rio recovers fast, landing a superkick to the chin, then following up with punches and headbutts. Running clothesline fails to drop him, as does a second. Show catches the third and tosses Del Rio into the corner, but Del Rio gets the boots up to block the charge. His move from the second rope is caught, and Show hits the chokeslam! Show stands stoically and watches, but Del Rio is up at eight. Show lands a headbutt, and Del Rio flops out to the floor. Show goes after him, looking to be enjoying himself now. As Del Rio picks himself up by the barricade, Big Show spears him through it into the timekeeper's area! Is that it? JBL is encouraging Del Rio to get up, and he gets up at nine! Big Show can't believe it, and he's right back on the attack, throwing Alberto back into the ring. Show signals for the KO Punch, and he lands it! Well, that's gotta be that. Show counts along with the referee. Del Rio rolls out to the apron slowly, starting to roll out of the ring, and at the count of eight Rodriguez pushes his leg down off the apron so that it looks like he's standing. That's close enough, apparently, as the count stops! Of course, once the count stops, Del Rio flops back down to the floor. But he was technically on his feet for a couple of seconds. Ricardo is trying to rouse Del Rio, and Big Show is coming after them on the outside. Show grabs the steel steps, having evil intentions. He charges at Del Rio, who dodges aside, and Big Show rams the ringpost with the steps! He's staggered by that, but still on his feet. Now Del Rio is up, and he has the steps himself. He hits Show with them, but he still isn't down. Del Rio hoists the steps again, and again hits Show with them! Show is still on his feet, using the announce table to support himself. The third hit from the steps takes him down behind the announce table! Del Rio proceeds to tip the announce table over onto Big Show! The referee begins the count, as JBL praises it as a brilliant move! Big Show can't get out from under the table, and the count reaches 10. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new World heavyweight Champion! Alberto Del Rio! The Miami crowd goes insane, celebrating their Latino hero. After the replays, Del Rio is up in the crowd, posing with the fans. Who would have thought that Alberto Del Rio could ever get away with celebrating in the crowd? But tonight he can! The landscape of Smackdown has changed. What does this mean heading into the Royal Rumble? We'll find out in the coming weeks, but for now, we're out!
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Big Bad

Since: 4.1.02
From: Dorchester, Ontario

Since last post: 6 days
Last activity: 1 day
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.46
Best Smackdown in years. Rock's promo with the Rhodes Scholars was genuinely hilarious and we got not only a world title change but an awesome match to boot. I've got to say, Del Rio is just killing it as a face...I'm starting to think WWE wasted his and our time by trying to push him as Dibiase 2.0 for the last three years.

"It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone." --- Bart Giamatti, on baseball

Since: 12.1.02
From: Indianapolis, IN; now residing in Suffolk, VA

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 1 hour
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.18

World Heavyweight Title
New Champion: Alberto Del Rio (1st reign)
Previous Champion: The Big Show (72 days; since 10/28/12)
2013 Title Changes: First

This is Alberto Del Rio's first reign as (WWE) World Heavyweight Champion, marking his fourth world heavyweight championship overall. He is a former two-time WWE Champion, and is also a former World Heavyweight Champion in Consejo Mundial de Lucha Libre (CMLL). However, as the CMLL World Heavyweight Championship is not the top title of the promotion (the Light Heavyweight Championship is actually considered more important), your mileage may vary.

Del Rio's World Heavyweight Title win is particularly ironic given that this belt (the Big Gold Belt, not the WWE Title) was the championship he first sought and claimed it was his destiny to attain upon entering the promotion. After winning the 2011 Royal Rumble, however, he failed to capture the World Title from Edge at WrestleMania XXVII, lost a ladder match against Christian for the vacant title at Extreme Rules, and didn't win a world title until August, when he cashed in against CM Punk at SummerSlam to win the WWE Title.

Del Rio's win ended The Big Show's reign of 72 days, which was shorter than Sheamus and Daniel Bryan's reigns, but at least was longer than The Big Show's first reign, which as D-Bry will gleefully remind you, lasted all of 45 seconds.

This is the first time the World Heavyweight Title has changed hands on free television since May 3, 2011, when Randy Orton won it from Christian and ended the latter's first WWE world title reign at two days, causing hundreds of thousands of internet fans (myself included) to tear their hair out.

"Y'know, it has been a year since the last [Royal Rumble], I'm very sketchy on this, so bear with me here. If I Brogue Kick that small little head of yours over the top rope, and your body stays in the ring, tell me, fella, does that count as an elimination?"
--Sheamus, to Randy Orton, SmackDown 1/4/13

Certified RFMC Member-- Ask To See My Credentials!

Co-Winner of Time's Person of the Year Award, 2006

Matt Tracker

Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

Since last post: 23 hours
Last activity: 23 hours
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.79
When was the last time a world title changed hands following a ten-count? I can only think of the end of Rocky 2.

Sandow/Rhodes/Rock was fantastic. The Ziggler/AJ match was atrocious. That's how you use the top heel not named Punk? The announcers had to oversell the leg bite afterward because they talked all over it. The crowd was surprisingly dead for it. Just bad.

"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
Big Brother

Since: 9.12.01
From: ミネアポリス

Since last post: 6 days
Last activity: 1 day
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.39
Gosh, there was A LOT of post-production in Booker's promo (most notably, the entire anouncement of the main event). I don't know if that means Booker wasn't capable of remembering to deliver all the talking points or that they were rewriting the show up until after he had been out there and had to insert some audio after the fact.

Punk's second promo took Rock's jersey out of the end zone all the way to the 34. This is the stuff I worry about.


Since: 12.1.02
From: Indianapolis, IN; now residing in Suffolk, VA

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 1 hour
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.18
    Originally posted by Matt Tracker
    When was the last time a world title changed hands following a ten-count? I can only think of the end of Rocky 2.

Edge defeated John Cena in a Last Man Standing match at Backlash, April 26, 2009, to win his fifth World Heavyweight Championship.

Randy Orton defeated Triple H at No Mercy on October 7, 2007, to win his second WWE Championship in what, if I recall correctly, was Triple H's third match of the night.

Assuming Wikipedia's title histories have all the title-change stipulations intact (and it's Wikipedia, so who wants odds?), those are the only two previous WWE world title changes that took place in Last Man Standing matches.

"Y'know, it has been a year since the last [Royal Rumble], I'm very sketchy on this, so bear with me here. If I Brogue Kick that small little head of yours over the top rope, and your body stays in the ring, tell me, fella, does that count as an elimination?"
--Sheamus, to Randy Orton, SmackDown 1/4/13

Certified RFMC Member-- Ask To See My Credentials!

Co-Winner of Time's Person of the Year Award, 2006

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Written largely to be used as the IWS' Wikipedia entry which accounts for the use of wrestler's real names. I fundamentally refuse to break kayfabe for masked wrestlers though. We will see how long the Wikipedia entry lasts before it gets vandalized.
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