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The W - Pro Wrestling - Captionomics! (#9) (Page 2)
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Since: 2.1.02
From: Madison, WI

Since last post: 1832 days
Last activity: 80 days
#21 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.22

To work on his promo skills, Albert resorts to taunting youths down at the local Boys Club while the cameras roll.


Brock: What the hell is that?
Angle: Oh, Bradshaw came in here, drunk off his ass, and said he needed to leave a "note" for Sable.


Whoa, I've got ten fingers on my hand! I rule!


Vince: Say, could you put a coat of Turtle Wax on the limo when you're done with that car?
Eddie: Hey, Vince, it's Eddie! Eddie Guerrero? U.S. Champion?
Big Show: The man told you to wax his car, not give him your life story.
Vince: Damn foreign help.


Edge: Hey man, that smack you got for me last night was great - but you still don't get a hat.


After his unchecked ego unbalances his brain, HHH loses track of which decade he's in and puts together a promo reel for the producers of Miami Vice.


Y2J: Now, to give the vowels the right tone, let them roll off of your tongue...aaaaa.
Y2J: *sigh* You'll never be a world-famous rock star.


Yes - smile, applaud courteously, and Vince will let me get back to Hollywood and avoid getting stuck in his *stupid* wrestling angles.


Storm: I don't remember the Ultimate Warrior looking so gay.
Rico: Are you coming on to me, you saucy Canuck?


I'm going twenty-four hours a day...I can't seem to stop
- "Turn Up The Radio", Autograph

It had to happen eventually: Wiener Of The Day - June 10th, 2003

Since: 26.8.02

Since last post: 5008 days
Last activity: 5008 days
#22 Posted on
1. Admit it, I'm not as bad as Sid or Meng!

2. Kurt: You sold a dead parrot to a BLIND KID?!

3. Yo dawg, my homies can handle a 40 but they ain't got manicuring skills.

4. Come on Eddie, she does this routine with fruits and vegetables you gotta see!

5. Yeah, I'm wearing them right now!

6. Are you insinuating I'm half the man Hugh Hefner is?

7. the least you could have done was a decent looking sharpshooter!

8. Rock applauds the winner of the "what's under the ring" treasure hunt.

9. Lance: I think you put too much Viagra in your Destrucity.

Since: 11.5.03
From: Mount Pleasant, Pa.

Since last post: 5 days
Last activity: 17 hours
#23 Posted on

"Whoooooooa............RVD's ecstacy-brownies kick ass !!!!"

"I'll shove that microphone up the ass of the first person who tries to get me to cut my hair."

"This just got a hell of a lot better." - Stifler, American Pie
Amazing Telephone

Since: 12.12.02
From: Winnipeg, Manitoba

Since last post: 1580 days
Last activity: 781 days
#24 Posted on


As we can infer from these fossil imprints, the Benoitdactyl established a cruel routine of mocking the Albertosaurus Rex and then standing just a little bit away once it realized that the larger beast's poorly developed and nearly useless forearms had no chance of inflicting damage.


Aw, not again. Damn it, Kurt, you know Brock's sensitive about his caterpillar eyebrows.


Amd then, right there in the middle of a freestyle, he suddenly realized that his stigmata was kicking in.


Then one day the two finally decided to settle things with a sleaze-off, and the ensuing three weeks of programming offended fourteen women's groups, five anti-defamation leagues, eleven sponsors, two networks, twenty-seven high-profile television executives and about a million and a half viewers. On the other hand, hey, more Vince on SmackDown!


Seconds later Sho Funaki, SmackDown #1 Announcer, was killed and eaten.


"I'm not sure what you mean by 'overcompensating'."


"No, no, no, like this. 'Foah... suppah... I, er, ah, want... a pahrty plattah'!"


"I've been sitting here doing this for fifteen minutes and I'm still getting a bigger reaction than ninety percent of the roster. I am the fucking man."


"Oh, sure. You laugh at me now. We'll see who's laughing two years from now when I'm wearing a black trenchcoat and descending from the rafters with a baseball bat, and you're still stuck as 'the boring guy'."

Since: 1.2.02
From: Appleton, WI

Since last post: 2060 days
Last activity: 2060 days
#25 Posted on
1. ATrain tries to help Chris Benoit get over by having him go into the Smackdown! women's locker room.

2. Kurt: Really, Brock, what the heck kind of skull is that supposed to be? Is it like you boiled the skin off a demonic being and put its image on your clothing? Brock: Um, I like your flag-singlet.

3. Cena: So he just grabbed hold and wouldn't let go!

4. Vince: I didn't see anyting if you didn't. Eddie: (something in Spanish), ese!

5. Edge: As part of my rehab, the doctors are making me wear this DAMN STOCKINGCAP!

6. HHH: This can is huge! These cans are huge! Man, I gotta go hold someone down.

7. Jericho: Shawn, do I have a pimple coming in on my cheek? Lemme lean-in so you can get a better look.

8. Rock has regressed to a child-like state where he is content to sit on the floor and clap along to his theme song.

9. WW and Spike face-off in the first-ever "Who is less over?" contest. Your lack of applause will determine the winner.

Fashion Reporter Extraordinare is proper.


Since: 8.8.03
From: Canada

Since last post: 4756 days
Last activity: 4427 days
#26 Posted on

Not To Self: Stop hanging out with Jeff Hardy.

L.O.V.E-All I need's my Love Machine.

Since: 24.4.02
From: Amherst, Massachusetts

Since last post: 4873 days
Last activity: 4783 days
#27 Posted on
    Originally posted by Kawshen

Edge: I like the Wizard of Oz....
Funaki: Um..Yeah.
Edge: I like the Tin Man.....

(edited by NIKO on 10.9.03 2234)

I was beginning to suspect he didn't know Shit about Shit
--Samantha Bee, The Daily Show
Aldo D 2112

Since: 21.4.02
From: West Palm Beach, FL

Since last post: 3878 days
Last activity: 3707 days
#28 Posted on

Albert: Did you switch my Stacker 2 with Weight Gain 4000?!?

Angle: Brock, you look like you need a hug.

Cena: AUUUUUGH!!! All this talk about spinchters is getting me in the zone! IT'S FIVE-KNUCKLE SHUFFLE TIME!!!

Vince: Ah-ha! Prepping the title for next week when I win with the Fingerpoke of Doom~!

Funaki: Uhh, dude, the glare from your teeth is going to blind me in a second...

Hunter: Say, it's great to be around a bunch of gals who don't speak in a deep voice or are pudgy!

Jericho: Yes, I'm still mad at the dirtsheet writers for saying I was the next HBK upon entering WCW! Just because of that comment, Bischoff forced me to put my back on the railing so fans could pat or stab me during my entrance!

Rock: YAAAAY!! You said The Rock's Name!! *golf-clap*

Rico: Say, you should join me and Miss Jackie in the hot tub tonight!

"Alright, now I'd like to show you one of my favorite cartoons. It's a sad, depressing story about a pathetic coyote who spends every waking moment of his life in the futile pursuit of a sadistic roadrunner, who mocks him and laughs at him as he is repeatedly crushed and maimed. I hope you enjoy it!"

"Weird" Al Yankovic - UHF

Since: 22.4.02
From: Outside of Boston

Since last post: 41 days
Last activity: 1 day
#29 Posted on

Albert: I told you, you must be THIS tall to get gored through that door!
Benoit: But I a-- (CRASH)
Albert: Huh. Guess he was.


Kurt: Brock, how many times do I have to tell you?! Those Nigerian refugee emails are just a scam! There's no one who needs to transfer thousands of dollars into your bank account!
Brock: (mumbling under his breath) ...goodthingiusedyouraccountkurt...
Kurt: What'd you say?
Brock: Nothing...


(Cena, having inexplicably lost his flow, resorts to showing the crowd his webbed hand to get their attention.)


Eddie: Hey Vince... check this one out! I just got this low-rider from some guy... Jesse... something... James? And it actually DOES mow lawns! I don't have to work here anymore!
Big Show: Son of a bitch, those fans ARE on to something!


Edge: See? Wouldn't these teeth be PERFECT for a create-a-wrestler? You'd think THQ woulda thought of that, but noooooo...


HHH (to himself): Her boobs are so bright... I've gotta wear shades...
Director (off-camera): Uhm... that's not how it goes...


Jericho: Oh, the shark has... pearly teeth, dear...

(Unbeknownst to the fans, the Rock has been undergoing rebirthing therapy during his downtime. He's made it all the way to three months. Terrible twos, here he comes!)


Rico: No, really, I can't move this hand. It just kinda flops around.
Storm: Look, you're reaching here... I can SEE you moving your hand! Are you really THAT desperate to get heat?
Rico: (sobs) Y-y-yes... (sniffle)

(edited by drjayphd on 13.9.03 0238)

Today's Out-Of-Context Quote, Courtesy of hardygrrl:

"...between the grime layer and the Seventies game show host hair, I'd rather rim Undertaker after a White Castle/Schlitz bender."
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I thought this was a well-booked show, and the only true low point was Jarrett's inability to play the champ-in-trouble.
- Matt Tracker, IMPACT 9-28-06 (2006)
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