Randy Orton vs. The Big Show, WWE Championship Match: Hunter promised no interference, but Korporate Kane plays by his own rules. Kane costs Big Show the match, leading to Big Show/Kane for TLC. God help us all.
John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio, World Championship Match: Why is this feud still going? Cena wins decisively.
C.M. Punk & Daniel Bryan vs. Luke Harper & Erick Rowan: Megapowers 2K13 win to send one of them (likely Punk) back into the title picture.
Cody Rhodes, Goldust, The Usos & Rey Mysterio vs. The Shield & The Real Americans, Elimination Tag Match: The Shield tease dissension and all walk out of the match. The rest of the faces easily dispatch the Real Americans. Survivors: Everyone.
Natalya, The Bella Twins, The Funkadactyls, Jo Jo & Eva Marie vs. A.J. Lee, Tamina Snuka, Kaitlyn, Rosa, Summer Rae, Aksana & Alicia Fox, Elimination Tag Match: I truly despise this company sometimes. The Total Divas team wins. Survivors: Not my sanity, that's for sure.
Big E. Langston vs. Curtis Axel, Intercontinental Championship Match: Langston wins and proceeds to go on a giant losing streak, because that's this company's idea of pushing somebody.
"Playing guitars. It's hard to sing while playing...guitars."
Cena-Cesaro was really good as long as you didn't dwell on the inevitability of the outcome. It took a top-rope F-U to end it, too. Things I don't bother with any more: Anything Authority-related, anything Bella-related. My friend Mark agrees with me....