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24.7.14 0719
The W - Pro Wrestling - SUPER iMPACT 10-15-09 "Angle's Revenge"
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Karlos the Jackal
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Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 172 days
Last activity: 3 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
Tonight's Impact is THREE HOURS, meaning I'm already way behind! This may be more perfunctory than usual!

We start with the Main Event Mafia in the ring, for what may be the very last time, at least in this incarnation. Kurt Angle gives his guys a pep talk; they've all got matches at Bound for Glory (this Sunday on PPV!). AJ Styles comes out with Team 3D, Beer Money, Matt Morgan, and Bobby Lashley, and a brawl breaks out. Security is out to break it up, with some difficulty.

The Beautiful People vs. Tara, ODB, and Awesome Kong: Kong knocks down both ODB and Tara and leaves, so it's three-on-two. Tara and ODB can't get along themselves for more than a couple of minutes, and Tara superkicks ODB, allowing Velvet Sky to get the pin.

Tara, ODB, and Kong face off at BfG for the title, while the Beautiful People get a rematch against Taylor Wilde & Sarita. I guess tonight was Lacey von Erich's official in-ring debut, but I honsetly can't remember her doing anything.

D'Angelo Dinero is backstage and would like to tell us about the benefits of Stacker 2's energy drink. Also, kiss his ring!

Bobby Lashley is backstage with Lauren but his promo is interrupted when Rhino gores him out of his boots. Lashley went flying!

Amazing Red vs. Suicide: This is for the X Division belt, and Amazing Red comes out with DON WEST. I think I've suggested before that West could be a manager -- like, a huckster heel type -- and here he is, but I guess a face. Makes sense, anyway -- I dunno if Ive ever heard Red say more than ten words total, and West's been his biggest booster since the start of the company. I find myself really pleased to see West again.

Anyway, they have a fun few minutes with lots of flippy flippy until Dinero comes out to make sure that Suicide doesn't get the belt, shoving Suicide off the top turnbuckle. "Slick" Mark Johnson is paying attention this week and that's a DQ.

Jeremy Borash talks to Red and West in the back -- West is Red's official "promoter." West is putting Red into the Ultimate X match at BfG (along with Suicide, Dinero, Homicide, and Daniels) and it's now a title match! I'm not 100% sure that Red was expecting that, but he doesn't seem upset.

Hernandez vs. The British Invasion: This is a gauntlet match, so one at a time. Eric Young is at the announce table. Hernandez, interestingly, is back in his LAX gear -- khaki shorts and wifebeater -- instead of his Mexico trunks. Doug Williams is up first and receives a helping of squash. Hernandez pins him with a shoulder block, not wanting to use up a finisher.

Brutus Magnus is next and fares a little bit better, but falls to the Border Toss. Rob Terry is last and sneaks in -- it doesn't do him much good. He gets some licks in but decides to pose on the turnbuckle and gets powerbombed for the three.

Eric Young comes in and takes down Hernandez with kendo stick shots; Magnus and Williams add their team finisher, the bearhug/second rope European uppercut combo. That move needs a name -- it's too ungainley describing it.

Mike Tenay interviews one guy each from the four tag teams (Team 3D, Beer Money, British Invasion, Steiner & Booker) in the the Full Metal Mayhem match (all metal weapons allowed -- ladders, chairs, chains) at BfG, but the remaining members are brawling in catering.

D'Angelo Dinero vs. Daniels: Good little match; Dinero and Daniels are evenly matched and work well together, reversing each other's moves until Daniels snags an Angel's Wings for the win.

I was surprised that Suicide didn't come out, but here he is now, approaching Dinero and...hitting Daniels with the GRINGO KILLER?!? Ah, it's Homicide -- he pulls the mask off -- security A-Team arrives and Homicide bails.

Mick Foley is out with a paper Abyss mask and some popcorn. He sits in a recliner in the ring and looks at some Abyss clips, mocking him as a cheap knock-off. Abyss is out and attacks Foley with the barb wire bat, but Foley directs his attention to the screen -- Lauren's been kidnapped again by Dr. Stevie! Hmm, the fact that "Lauren" keeps her back turned makes me think that there's something a little Daffy going on. Luckily for evildoers, Abyss is dumb.

Homicide is in back and talks about attacking Suicide and taking his costume. He points out that this means that, yeah, he knows who Suicide is (!) -- but he'll keep it "their little secret."

Hamada vs. Alissa Flash: This is Falls Count Anywhere. Flash ambuscades Hamada on the ramp! I don't think they manage to get in the ring the entire match, although they do get as far as the apron. Highlights include Flash curbstomping Hamada on the outside and Hamada hitting a somersault senton off the side of the ramp into Flash. Hamada lays Flash on a table on the outside and goes up, but Flash follows -- Hamada DDTs her hard on the apron, lays her out again, and then hits a BIG moonsault off the top turnbuckle through the table on the floor! Alissa is just CRUSHED and that's a pin.

Rhino vs. Bobby Lashley: It's a stretcher match and Bobby, wounded though he is -- he keeps one arm against his ribs for most of the match -- wins after slamming Rhino onto a prone metal guardrail with a Full Nelson slam.

Lashley heads back to see the trainer, but Samoa Joe attacks him and chokes him out (again!) with the Coquina Clutch. (We see the trainer unconscious in the background -- nice touch.)

Abyss discovers the truth about Lauren -- it's Daffney in disguise! Congratulations, Abyss -- you've won a beatdown for being dumb!

Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles: They start slow with mat wrestling and gradually work up to the big moves -- Angle is the first to bust out the high-risk maneuvers, with a slingshot somersault over the top onto AJ. Angle controls the pace and Styles in unable to get any sustained momentum going until he finally manages to hit a HUGE Superman forearm, at which point things even up a little.

Crowd is solidly behind Styles throughout. Taz is awesome at the table, discussing strategy, pointing out the little things and explaining why they matter, and dropping terminology I've never heard before. Exhibit "A" of why you want a wrestler in the color spot.

Styles gets a nearfall with the Pelé, and Angle gets one with a suplex off the top turnbuckle. Angle kicks out of a Styles Clash and Styles kicks out of an Angle Slam. This is fantastic. Angle moonsault off the top misses, and Styles gets the 450° slingshot. They trade piledriver teases, but Angle finally grabs the anklelock -- with a grapevine! -- and the bell rings! What?

Oh, it was a twenty minute time limit match -- somehow I missed that -- I guess they announced it at the beginning. Well, despite the abrupt ending, this is the Impact match of the year (and commercial free, too!). The inconclusive ending is BEGGING for a rematch on PPV -- Last Man Standing? Iron Man? -- and I can't wait!

Last 40 minutes or so are a hype package for Bound for Glory (this Sunday on PPV!) and a couple of brief interviews with Angle and Styles. Angle knows he "won." Styles is upset that while he didn't lose, he didn't win, either.

And we're out. Solid show, great main event. I feel bad for Quezzy that the Machine Guns didn't even appear! Hopefully they'll be a little more prominent once Booker and Steiner exit the tag division.

--K

(edited by Karlos the Jackal on 16.10.09 0348)

Last 5 movies seen: Zombieland **** - Monsters vs. Aliens ***1/2 - Away We Go *** - Inglourious Basterds **1/2 - Pan's Labyrinth n/a
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Oliver
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Since: 20.6.02
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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.34
When WWE hypes a three hour Raw, they deliver with wrestling and content. But when TNA finally puts one out, what? Am I reading that right? The last 40 minutes was all promos for BFG? Wow, what a rip.






SAMURAI SENTAI SHINKENGER!
Karlos the Jackal
Lap cheong








Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 172 days
Last activity: 3 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
    Originally posted by Oliver
    When WWE hypes a three hour Raw, they deliver with wrestling and content. But when TNA finally puts one out, what? Am I reading that right? The last 40 minutes was all promos for BFG? Wow, what a rip.
Um, and a 20+ minute, commercial free, MOTY candidate!

--K



Last 5 movies seen: Zombieland **** - Monsters vs. Aliens ***1/2 - Away We Go *** - Inglourious Basterds **1/2 - Pan's Labyrinth n/a
CEOIII
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Since: 25.7.02
From: Franklin, PA

Since last post: 24 days
Last activity: 22 min.
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.74
For the first time that I remember, they mentioned time limits for every match tonight. Nice bit of foreshadowing to the draw in the ME.



I'm Charlie Owens, good night, and good luck.
Tenken347
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Since: 27.2.03
From: Parts Unknown

Since last post: 1 day
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#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.03
    Originally posted by Oliver
    When WWE hypes a three hour Raw, they deliver with wrestling and content. But when TNA finally puts one out, what? Am I reading that right? The last 40 minutes was all promos for BFG? Wow, what a rip.



Don't be taken in by cheap imitations!
BoromirMark
Potato korv








Since: 8.5.02
From: Milan-Ann Arbor, MI

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#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.26
Cheap knock-off, that's funny.

That's especially funny because, when *I* watch a three hour RAW I don't even make it five minutes in before switching to another channel in disgust. With a three hour TNA Impact, I watch the entire three hours and come out of it feeling entertained.






Michigan against the SEC: 20-5-1 (7-3 in bowl games)

Big Bad
Scrapple








Since: 4.1.02
From: Dorchester, Ontario

Since last post: 4 days
Last activity: 3 hours
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.73
On paper, the fact that the last hour was all promos and video packages wasn't a good move. But I take my hat off to TNA for producing some very high-quality promotional material here that really got me fired up to order the show....well, I'm out of town on Sunday so I can't, but you see my point. I'd compare them to UFC's All-Access show or the Mayweather 24/7 shows since they put over the wrestlers with a 'real sport' vibe that you never see in WWE anymore.

Overall, that show was high in the running for 'Best Impact Ever.'



Kirk, crackers are a family food. Happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers, we don't know. Frankly, we don't want to know. It's a market we can do without.
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