Ok, let's get down to business. Here's the SSP(no, not the Kidman/Lesnar move) preview so far, with speculated matches at the end.
The Rock vs. Brock Lesnar for the Undisputed WWE title. With the way the WWE is pushing this match, how can it not be good? Even if there isn't good wrestling(which, given who's in the match, you know there will be), the Rock has *perfected* the "sports entertainment" match. His presence alone will carry the match, and Brock will get boo'd like a mofo just because he's facing Rocky. Just imagine what will happen when Brock gets the duke and the belt. I hope that ring is *covered* in trash thrown from the fans. You know why? Because they'll *hate* Brock. Even more than they hate TripleH. Brock will have destroyed the company's top 2 #1 guys. People will be pissed. And that's a good thing. It'll mean they care. And maybe(I bet this is what Vince is banking on, too), just maybe they'll tune in to see what Brock does and who he faces. When he is eventually defeated, it'll be an Event along the lines of Austin turning at WM17. As much as I'd *love* for Rock to stay, his heart just isn't in it anymore. You wouldn't notice it in the ring, but he's said himself that he'd rather do movies. Bye bye, Rock. Long live Brock. Brock wins by hitting the F5, then making Rock pass out from the Brocklock, and *then* hitting the Shooting Star Press on an unconcious Rock to seal the deal.
TripleH vs. HBK in a supposed Streetfight rules match. You knew this would happen eventually, but it's a few years too late. Oh well, better late than never. I hope HBK pulls this one out and then retires for good on Raw the next night. It's been fun, Shawn, but if this return has told us anything, it's that you just don't have *it* anymore. Spend your time training new guys, spend it with your wife and son. Live happily ever after. Go out on top, while you still can.
Chris Benoit vs. Rob Van Dam for the WWE Intercontinental title. We saw a preview of this on Raw a couple weeks ago, but then Benoit jumped to Smackdown, which really pissed me off. Well, Christmas came early kids, and now we get Benoit vs. RVD ver2.0. This match better get at least 20 minutes. I'm just curious as to what they'll do with the belt. Will it go with the winner, or will the winner go to Smackdown with the belt? RVD's pretty much done everything there is to do on Raw. Granted, I'd love to see Lance Storm take on RVD if RVD stays, but where would you go from there? In "balancing" out the rosters(moving more big name talent to Raw), they've left a Smackdown roster who's either a) not ready for the IC belt or b) already had it and on to bigger things. I guess either way, it'll be good news. I guess for the short term, have RVD win and then jump to Smackdown. They need him worse, and he can continue his feud with Benoit too. Since it's a toss up, I'll go with RVD winning but going to Smackdown to keep the belt there, so the jumps don't seem meaningless. The Undertaker vs. Test. Ok, on paper this doesn't really mean much, *but* Taker's getting huge pops lately, and Test has been turning it up a notch as well. Won't steal the show, but it'll be a fairly good match. Test *should* go over to cement him, but it's Taker, and you know that that means.
The UnAmericans(Lance Storm and Christian) vs. Booker T and Goldust for the WWE Tag Team titles. This match should flat out rock. It puts BookerT and Goldust into a high profile angle, against Storm and Christian nonetheless. Great workers, all 4 of them. This one will be hot. You know Book and Goldie will get the belts eventually, but will it be this soon? The UA's have just started gaining steam, so them droping the belts would probably do more bad then good. With the Beeteezee and Goldie getting a nice push, I'll go with them winning the belts, but continuing the feud(perhaps a 3way feud with the Island Boyz tossed in there).
Ric Flair vs. Chris Jericho. Talk about a dream match. And one that's been a long time coming, as well. I hope these two click from the get-go and don't look back. Flair will be doing what he does best, and so will Jericho. I *hope* this one gets 20, but I kinda doubt it. If it doesn't, let's hope the feud continues, shall we? If Jericho wins, the feud continues(I hope), but if Flair wins, it's dead in the water. Or the Fed could *really* make a lot of people happy and drag it out. Jericho screaming "It's not over Flair! It's not over!" at Flair after Ric wins would be classic.
Kurt Angle vs. Rey Misterio. This almost seems like a random match tossed together, but there's actually a story behind it. Which is cool, because when was the last time you could call a match "random" and have some build to it? Not to mention that it's Kurt and Rey, so this one should be grand. Almost a cherry on top of the sundae by this point. Give them anything more than 10 minutes, and I'm happy. Does it really matter who wins? It's gonna kick ass, I tells ya. Rey could really prove that size doesn't matter if he gets the win. And Angle's credibility is so good that it doesn't matter if he takes a loss here and there, so I'm going with Rey.
As far as announced matches go, that's it. That's only 7 matches, so there's room for a few more. I'd add some kind of Hardcore Match(perhaps an invitational?), just so long as it's not Tommy vs. Richards again. Yes they put on great matches, but c'mon. Bradshaw never got a "rematch"(is there such a thing in Hardcore matches?), so maybe he could challange Dreamer on Raw. Then have Dreamer bust out some sick moves and kick Bradshaw's ass, because he doesn't belong in the HC title picture. I'm guessing we'll see a Cruiserweight title match as well, most likely Noble vs. Kidman, which is just fine by me. Hell, toss Big Show vs. Bubba Dudley on there too, since they're both getting semi-pushes. One more thing to look out for is Kane. Perhaps he'll make his presence known? Let's hope so. *whew* There it is, da preview.
Oh here we go with the requisite Undertaker bashing. I've took my fair share of shots at him, I'll admit, but I'm actually looking forward to this match. Undertaker has had a lot of kick-ass matches this year, including a blockbuster with RVD, a great ladder match with Jeff Hardy and a fantastic match with a fantastic finish with Kurt Angle. You've gotta give the guy credit: he has heat and with a good performer, he can put on a great match. The only problem is Test. Does he qualify in the "good performer" range? Well, I think he's had a lot of fire lately. Remember when his whole act was to saunter down the ramp, act big, move slowly, kick someone in the face and stare in a mirror? These days, he's been moving very quickly, executing moves with fury and has tremendous heel heat as part of the unAmericans. This match has good heel/face potential. I'm looking forward to it, even if that's not the smarky Internet thing to do.
"YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?" - The chilling words of the Shockmaster!
"Here comes Charles Benoit, and he's really mad.....Charles Benoit is here, and he's FUCKING CRAZY"- T.R. on the barbecued cat thread (it's too terrible to link)
THE AWESOME UNDERTAKER drives out - damn, how did those STEEL steps rise up onto their ends and out of the way of - hey wait, I see DUDES there! They must be soulless minions of Big Evil's Red Devil Underwood Deviled Ham Team Evil. What? - CRZ, back to his old antics
Rock v. Brock: I think it's abudantly clear that Brock is going to win the title here, simply because of the promotion of the match and Rock's schedule, despite the facts that a) Brock is not ready, and b) They need to squeeze as much out of Angle as possible before he takes time off.
HHH v. Shawn: Kick Hunter's punk ass, Shawn.
Benoit v. RVD: If their earlier match on Raw was any indication, this match will rule North America, Europe and parts of Asia & Africa, too. I'd leave the belt on Benoit, since RVD has done just about everything there is to do with it. But I'd leave RVD on Raw - because it doesn't make sense for him to switch under his characterization. I'd team him with Jeff Hardy and move him into the tag title picture, at this point.
Lance & Christian v. Booker & Goldy: Potential show stealer of the night here, especially if Goldy brings his working boots and his best comedic antics. The Canadians need the win, though, in order to keep the Unamericans stabile strong. The feud is just starting. Keep it going. It's got the potential to be hot.
UT v. Test: 1) Lance & Christian need to win. 2) Test pinned Taker cleanly on Monday. 3) Taker doesn't like jobbing on PPV. 1 + 2 + 3 = Taker wins.
Flair v. Jericho: It's like Christmas Day and Santa left a $5,000 computer under the tree. This feud has been goofy, but this match has the potential to steal the show and make the feud legendary. It could be dragged out for months. Please, WWF, please do the right thing, and put Jericho over to keep it going. Please. I beg you.
Kurt v. Rey Rey: Another potential show-stealer, as long as the two figure out a way to mesh their styles. Look for Kurt to break out the moonsault out of cobwebs, and look for Rey Rey to get the win ala John Cena last month.
CRZ NOTABLE QUOTABLE OF THE MONTH: KANE: Triple H...tonight, I will burn the flesh from your body! MICHAEL COLE: OH MY GOD. KANE THREATENING TRIPLE H, SAYING HE'S GONNA BURN THE FLESH FROM HIS BODY! CRZ: Umm, I heard it the FIRST time! -- WWF Smackdown, 9/9/99
I have to agree with P.U... I don't particularly like Taker, and I'm pretty indifferent about Test since he stopped doing the gutwrench layout powerbomb, but I have hope for this thing, somehow. I fear Taker's going to win, but from what looked like a Tombstone tease (I don't think Taker's usually done the Kane version where he cops out into a powerslam) this past Monday, I think that they could do a lot for Test in taking a loss if they let him kick out of a chokeslam (possibly a delayed count spot if Test works UT's knee) and then lay down for the Tombstone. That was a very long sentence.
Anyway, something is just clicking for me on paper about SummerSlam to the point where I'd actually think about getting it, a feeling I haven't had that often the past few years, besides WMX8.
I didn't forget Taker/Test, I just rushed the edit job. Yes, Taker has stunk up matches(KOTR '02) and Test has never done anything special. *But*, they can both turn it up when needed, as evidenced by Taker at Vengence last month. Test just gets better and can also turn it up. Look at his KOTR match with BROCK. Nobody thought he had a snowball's chance, but he almost won it. I'm hoping that this one will surprise a few people.
Now that I see what (on paper great-looking) matches were added to the SummerSlam card, my prediction is that this one promises to easily become best PPV of 2002, and finally something to look forward to!
"Wanting people to listen, you can't just tap them on the shoulders anymore, you gotta hit them with a sledgehammer!"
The card looks Raw-heavy, so I'd expect a cruiserweight match to be added. I'm thinking with all the players in the division introduced, a cruiserweight battle royal might just blow the roof off the dump.
Summer Slam looks like it's going to pretty damn good. There's not a match that I can look at, on paper, and see a weakness, as of right now. I'm even looking forward to it.
I just can't shake this notion that HHH is going to 'hurt' HBK so badly that he's going to have to be wheeled away via paramedics. Then, with nothing left to do, HHH will do a run in on Rock Vs. Brock match, costing Rock the title. After a few attempts to get revenge, Rock winds up 'hurt' and then HHH will start feuding with Brock and take the title... for 6 months.
That's the system, Rock puts people over left and right, but they always run into the brick wall we know and love as HHH. But I'm not a prognosticator.
Undisputed Title Brock Lesnar [w/Paul Heyman] DEF. The Rock [c]; Simple. Brock works the ribs a lot, Rock recovers and makes a comeback, but he's distracted by Heyman and F5ed. And then, he's F5ed through a table, putting him out.
Grudge Match HHH DEF. Shawn Michaels; A retired man beating The Game? *Feh* Who the hell is writing this stuff? Stephanie? Oh...okay.
Grudge Match Chris Jericho DEF. Ric Flair; Cheat to win, junior.
Intercontinental Title Chris Benoit [c] DEF. Rob Van Dam; Well...it's a crapshoot, but I like Benoit.
Tag Team Title The Un-Americans [c] DEF. BookDust; Cheating from Test, gives 'em the win.
Grudge Match Test DEF. The Undertaker; Cheating? Yes, Virginia, there is cheating. But, there is also KANE...returning to take somebody out. But who?
Grudge Match Kurt Angle DEF. Rey Misterio; Olympic cheating!
Obligatory Hardcore Title Match Tommy Dreamer [c] DEF. Random Opponent
Possible Grudge Match D'Lo Brown DEF. Raven
"That's what the Internet is for, slandering others anonymously" Banky Edwards (Jason Lee), Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back
"Smile." Maguire (Jude Law), Road to Perdition
"You can't fight in here, this is the War Room!" The President (Peter Sellers), Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love the Bomb
Thread ahead: This segment's gone on too long, about *three minutes* too long... Next thread: THREE MINUTES of Fame Previous thread: "The Rock is something you're not. Undisputed Champion. So shut up, bitch."
Well gee, I guess if I find myself accidentally eating Scott Keith, I know what to expect. I suppose if he had his own SlurpeeŽ, everyone would check it out every once in a while, just to see how abhorridly bad it was.