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The W - Random - Stupid Customers
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Boudin rouge

Since: 15.1.02
From: Flatwoods, KY

Since last post: 3598 days
Last activity: 1908 days
#1 Posted on
Does anyone else work with the public? I work for a really large e-commerce site (hint: named after a river and we sell lots of books) in Customer Service management and only deal with either the really irate customers or the really stupid ones.

For example I just replied to an e-mail where a man went on a four page profanity laced tirade claiming we overcharged by 11 cents. 11 CENTS!!!! 11 F$CKING CENTS! And its like that over and over again. And you know what? 9 times out of 10 the person can't add.

I hate customers. And I quote Randal from Clerks:

"This job would be great if it wasn't for the f&cking customers."

Sorry, he just ruined my Saturday and I needed to vent.

(edited by Ffej on 23.2.02 1049)

(edited by Ffej on 23.2.02 1049)
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.
Promote this thread!
Potato korv

Since: 2.1.02
From: Quincy, MA

Since last post: 3540 days
Last activity: 3392 days
#2 Posted on
It's Randal, but that's neither here nor there.

When I was working for the second largest video store chain in the country, one nice gentleman threatened to kick my ass, and also threatened to call the police on me, over paying 7 dollars in late fees that he didn't feel he had to pay. Another guy whipped a video at my head when I wouldn't give him a refund. Thank the Great Spork in the Sky that I don't have to work retail anymore. I feel another Randal quote is appropriate:

"Bunch of fucking savages in this town."

Boudin blanc

Since: 6.1.02
From: Brooklyn, NY

Since last post: 24 days
Last activity: 3 hours
#3 Posted on
One of my favorite characters on OZgot put in jail for beating up the video-store guy. Now he's on death row. Just think of that and you'll feel better.


And you know this...Man!
Super Shane Spear

Since: 2.1.02
From: Sector 7 Slums

Since last post: 2867 days
Last activity: 2867 days
#4 Posted on
I work at AT&T telelphone service myself. That's a lot of fun. I told somebody that they have a rate of seven cents per minutes for long distance 24 hours, 7 days. Naturally, the next question was what the rate was on Tuesdays. Next I get a customer who tries to convince me that because of NAFTA (NAFTA!) that Canada should not be considered an international country. Next, there's the poor old lady who asks me why she can't see her caller ID and we finally figured out that she doesn't have a callerID box or phone. Also, there's the people who are SURE they call up GMAC to make their car payment, but AT&T's number is one digit off. We also happen to be one digit off of a phone sex line too, so THAT'S fun to hear about. Finally, we have the capper, the people who couldn't understand my name if their life depended on it. I've been called Pain, Train, Kane (!), Spain, Scott, Sam, and George...all today so far.

But I digress, only because the pay is far above what I deserve with no college degree.

"Nobody loves the custodian. I come and I sweep and vacuum for you. When you're in the mood to go to the bathroom, I even disinfect it for you! This is the thanks I get?!? All who defy me shall be dis-infected!"

Since: 31.1.02
From: Springfield, MA

Since last post: 5076 days
Last activity: 2181 days
#5 Posted on
i worked in a liquor store one summer where the majority of the patrons were homeless...always a joy counting their bills and especially the coins. the sad fact was, they were actually nicer than most of the other customers. i also got sworn at for 2 straight minutes from an irate customer who i refused to serve because he was a dick.

now, i've shifted my focus to working in a pharmacy with the intention of becoming a pharmacist. apparantly it's quite tramatic when insurance companies raise their copays $1 for prescriptions. pass along the following secret: pharmacies have no control of what patients get charged for their prescriptions, blame your insurance company or the drug manufacturer and stop yelling at your local pharmacist or pharmacy technician. thank you.

60 watts? what do you think this is, a tanning salon?
Boudin blanc

Since: 6.1.02
From: Brooklyn, NY

Since last post: 24 days
Last activity: 3 hours
#6 Posted on
i also got sworn at for 2 straight minutes from an irate customer who i refused to serve because he was a dick.

Wow. You got between someone and their alcohol? That takes some cojones.


And you know this...Man!

Since: 12.1.02
From: Indianapolis, IN; now residing in Suffolk, VA

Since last post: 15 days
Last activity: 22 hours
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.01
I work at Blockbuster and I've had more than my share of stupid asshole customers. Most of the time they're either bitching about late fees, not being able to use the same type of coupon twice in one day, or the rental limit (which is 6 or 9 depending upon who you ask).

I've never had anyone actually get physically violent with me, though. Yet. Knock on wood. Actually, sometimes I wish they would get physically violent with me, 'cuz on occasion I feel like stomping a mudhole in 'em.

I've worked customer service for four years. And I think it's safe to say that whenever I have a nightmare, it's invariably about work.

The preceding announcement has been paid for by the New World Order.
Potato korv

Since: 2.1.02
From: Quincy, MA

Since last post: 3540 days
Last activity: 3392 days
#8 Posted on
I used to say "Can I help you find anything?" in my sleep. Used to freak the wife out somethin' fierce.

ekedolphin, my old boss at Hollywood got so sick of asshole customers, he decided to become the evil customer-hating store manager from HELL. He implemented a number of new policies, designed solely to piss off the customers.

1] If you have more than $5 in late fees, you cannot rent.
1.5] You cannot negotiate on late fees.
2] Store management reserves the right to permanently revoke your rental priviliges and kick your ass out of the store at any time, for any reason.
3] If you picked the wrong movie, tough shit. (We had VHSes in pictures on the front. you actually had to READ THE FUCKING LABEL to tell if it was the right film.)
4] Closing time is 10PM. If you arrive at 10:01PM, YOUR MOVIES WILL BE LATE.

You shoulda seen how fucking pissed the customers would get. If my boss hadn't been such a fucking prick to me too, that stuff woulda made him my hero.


Since: 20.2.02
From: Djibouti

Since last post: 5854 days
Last activity: 5652 days
#9 Posted on
Don't Sing It! BRING IT!wow. that's harsh.

Silly customer! You can not hurt the Twinkie!
Karlos the Jackal
Lap cheong

Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 843 days
Last activity: 9 days
#10 Posted on
I work in a video store, too...of course, since I also own it, I can just make up whatever policies I want. You know "The Customer is Always Right"? Our motto was "The Customer is Always Confused," which I later changed to "The Customer Can Always Fuck Off."

Really, it's a little place that stocks mostly indie and foreign stuff, so I get way fewer stupid customers than I did when I worked at a mainstream place. At least, judging from the fact that I no longer get several customers a week complaining that a tape is broken because they rented the widescreen version. "All their heads was cut off!"

I used to have one customer who, every time, would complain about widescreen movies. He would also claim that widescreen films had also been "edited for children." When I tried to explain to him that movies were widescreen to "preserve the theatrical aspect ratio," he said, "movie theater screens are just as tall as they are wide -- if anything, they're a little taller." At that point, what can you possibly say?

Eddie Famous

Since: 11.12.01
From: Catlin IL

Since last post: 452 days
Last activity: 10 days
#11 Posted on
I work in radio, so I've had more than my share of stupid phone calls...

1. "What time is (TV program) on tonight?"
2. "What station is the ballgame on?" "Our station." "No, on TV."
3. "My cable is out, have you heard anything?"
4. "My power is out, have you heard anything?"
5. "What's the phone number for (competing station)?"
6. "Could you play a song for me?" (We are a newstalk station)
7. "Is this you?" (holds phone up to radio I can't hear)
8. "What was the number of the guest that was on last week sometime?"
9. "What is the barometric pressure?"
10. (After a minutes-long bitching session) "Could you pass that on to CBS?"

***Released by Padres Feb. 15, 2002***


Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 2 days
#12 Posted on
At America's Number 1 home improvement's where all the assholes shop. I've been called everything from asshole to fucking stupid, everything in between and then some. I usually reflect it right back at them which throws them off balance enough for me to finish them. They really don't expect to be told off from an employee they have just yelled profanities at, then again if I ever went back to school and finished my degree I probably wouldn't have to put up with their shit. But it's also just like football in a way the first player can do something dirty and not get caught but when the second player retaliates he gets flagged. It's the reason I'm skating on thin ice, and it's a good thing I'm good at driving the machines or I'd surely be gone by now. For some reason management doesn't aprove of telling off asshole customers, especially with profanity. Then again they're dumshits too...but that's a whole 'nother ball of wax.
Polska kielbasa

Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 5899 days
Last activity: 5894 days
#13 Posted on
I was a Customer Service Manager for TCI Cable in the mid-90's. Which means that, no matter what customer service story you have, I can top it. From the guy who took an entire city's cable down precisely at midnight New Years Eve when he shot his gun in the air...hitting and blowing up a power line and setting the pole on fire in the the technicians threatened by drive-by gun-toting rednecks when the cable went out during a football game ("I'm gonna shoot you off that pole!"). My promotion to the position even came violently...My boss went to prison for killing her boyfriend.
Potato korv

Since: 2.1.02
From: Quincy, MA

Since last post: 3540 days
Last activity: 3392 days
#14 Posted on
rte66: Wow, TCI. I remember them. When I first moved here, we had Cape Cod Cablevision, which was then bought by TCI, which was bought by (or became) MediaOne, which was bought by AT&T, who is now selling its cable division off to Comcast (I think.). I feel sorry for the poor suckers in Plymouth with Adelphia. Man do they suck.

Eddie: I used to do some radio. Only thing is, I DJed at a college station that you couldn't hear unless you had a line of sight to the transmitter. We never got calls. :(


Since: 25.1.02
From: Kirksville, MO

Since last post: 5731 days
Last activity: 5701 days
#15 Posted on
Even though I'm sure I make less, this board makes me not regret my post-college culinary school experience!
Yeah, I'm a professional chef...ummm....yeah, well, my girlfriend appreciates it anyway.

Insert clever comment.
Potato korv

Since: 2.1.02
From: Quincy, MA

Since last post: 3540 days
Last activity: 3392 days
#16 Posted on
But I bet you're not an Iron Chef...

Thirty Millionth Hit

Since: 2.1.02
From: The Silver Spring in the Land of Mary.

Since last post: 338 days
Last activity: 280 days
#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.05
i work at a mom and pop video store, and i have soooo many stupid custs [you should see the mountain of blockbuster tapes that have been dropped off at the store] and i stop trying to help...

my cust's are stupid and i treat them as such, until they prove me otherwise.

i get complaints that they returned them on time [the 5 night rental period starts the night you rent, not the night after, and people just ignore us when we tell them the return day...if you rent monday, it's due friday, that's 5 days, but noooooo they start from tuesday and return it saturday, and wonder why it's a day late..]

i get people who are upset that they rented a movie they've already seen...

some are upset that they never read their agreement and are just stupified that we charge their Credit Card for unpaid late fees and unreturned tapes...

some SWEAR they returned their tapes...only to get a call from us because a blockbuster told us they have one of our tapes...

some don't know their alphabet...those i never help find videos because they just don't look

"Where is Shrek?"
"On the new release wall"
"Where on the wall?"
"My guess would be where the S's are..."


some may argue that they don't walk the wall...but i get the same questions for American Pie 2 [start of wall]
or What's the worst that could happen [End of wall]

i'm just working there for the easy money, and being able to watch the new movies on the friday BEFORE they are released...

I am my own worst enemy, and I make it a point to kill all my enemies...

Since: 28.1.02
From: Indianapolis, IN

Since last post: 5659 days
Last activity: 5619 days
#18 Posted on
I know somebody that answers the phones at the cable company. One of her favorite things to do is read off the person's PPV porn list whenever they call complaining that their bill is too high or their cable got disconnected. I guess a lot of people cry on the phone, are drunk or stoned when they call, or tell her their personal problems (i.e. Jerry Springer type stuff). She sits in a separate area, so she can pretty much tell them off when they get too verbally abusive. Must be nice... I remember working at Taco Hell in college and having to take the drunken rants of the people on the strip bar crawling at 4 a.m.

Those of you who work or used to work in video rental can probably sympathize with this site. It's hilarious and full of stories: This guy owned his own store, which I guess gave him carte blanche to piss off the stupid customers.

Russ Ray
Managing Editor
"Where the women are hot,
the men fight zombies,
and the monkeys live like kings."

Since: 2.1.02
From: Oklahoma City

Since last post: 5706 days
Last activity: 5639 days
#19 Posted on
My buddy has the coolest job. He works in collections. Not the piddly overdue credit card type, but the bigger ticket stuff like boats and mobile homes. He deals with people whose boat payments are more than he makes in a month, basically people who think they're rich but really aren't.

There's only two rules: you can't swear and you can make physical threats. Other than that, you can say anything you want.

He absolutely loves the job, and highly recommends it for anyone who has ever worked in retail.

I wouldn't want it as a permanent job, but it'd be a nice part-time, one weekend a month type job to have, just to be able to vent that spleen.

Eatin' fruit and bein' cool
Boudin blanc

Since: 6.1.02
From: Brooklyn, NY

Since last post: 24 days
Last activity: 3 hours
#20 Posted on
Those of you who work or used to work in video rental can probably sympathize with this site. It's hilarious and full of stories: This guy owned his own store, which I guess gave him carte blanche to piss off the stupid customers.

Whoa. It looks like Comic Book Store guy is more than just a doodle and a voice.


And you know this...Man!
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I noticed that a few regulars on this board are from the San Diego area. Well, it looks like my job will be taking me to that area in 2003. Since I've never been there, I'm wondering if anyone can give me advice or web links on the city?
- Simba, Need 411 on 619 (2002)
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